Bitchypoo – Page 61 – An acidic and hostile place: since 1999

pic021110_1.jpg

pic021110_1.jpg, originally uploaded by RobynAnderson. I always forget how much I enjoy Roseanne.

pic021110_1.jpg, originally uploaded by RobynAnderson.

I always forget how much I enjoy Roseanne.

2/10/2010 – 2

Robyn lives, and is happily doped up – Fred

GOODBYE, ORGAN THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED! DON’T LET THE CERVIX HIT YOU IN THE TUBES (?) ON YOUR WAY OUT! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We’ll be leaving for the hospital … Continue reading “2/10/10 – Wednesday”

GOODBYE, ORGAN THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED! DON’T LET THE CERVIX HIT YOU IN THE TUBES (?) ON YOUR WAY OUT!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We’ll be leaving for the hospital in a while. I’m slated to have surgery at 7:30, so have to be at the hospital at 5:30.

I’m glad that this is almost over, and already bored to death with the idea of having to spend the night in the hospital. I don’t wannnnnnna. I wanna go home!

I’m sure I’ll be home before I know it, right? Right.

The Kindle is charged and loaded with books, the iPod is charged and loaded with the second season of Gossip Girl, and the phone is charged and ready to Twitter/ blog.

What do you wanna bet I end up not touching the Kindle or iPod? (Better to have them with me and not need them than wish I’d brought them.)

Someone told Fred the other night that while recovering from surgery, I wouldn’t be getting out of bed for two weeks.

We both snickered, because laying in bed for two weeks? Me? I hardly think so. (To be fair, she probably didn’t mean that I’d be literally on my back in the bed for two weeks straight. But still.)

Then I realized that she didn’t know that this wasn’t my first surgery. This isn’t, in fact, my second or third or fourth surgery, even.

Surgeries I Have Had

1. Age 5ish: tonsils out! What I mostly remember from this is that another child – a boy – threatened to tell my parents on me if I didn’t brush my teeth…?

2. Age 15: Giant Cell Cystic Tumor (benign) removed from my right knee; bone removed from both hips to replace the bone that had been eaten away by the tumor. What I mostly remember about this surgery: the fucking drains, one on each hip. Every single time the surgeon came into my room, I asked when he was going to take the damn drains out. They were not physically painful, but their mere existence caused me great physical anguish. I had a cast on for most of the summer, and good christ do those things get itchy underneath. (Hmm, here’s some interesting information about Giant Cell Tumors: A female predominance exists, with a female-to-male ratio of 1.3-1.5:1. GCTs occur most commonly in the third decade of life; less than 5% of GCTs occur in patients who are skeletally immature. In the Mayo Clinic series, 84% of the GCTs occurred in patients older than 19 years. I was a medical oddity! Color me shocked.)

3. Age 20: C-Section. The spud was due on the 22nd. On the 25th, they did an ultrasound and estimated that she weighed 10 pounds, 4 ounces. They recommended a c-section, I agreed, and it was performed the next day. (She ended up weighing in at 10 pounds, 2 ounces. And she wasn’t even the heaviest baby in the nursery!) I developed some sort of infection (they were never able to figure out what or where was infected, but antibiotics took care of it in any case) and ended up staying in the hospital for a week.

4. Age 22ish: Endometriosis removed from my c-section scar. The gynecologist hypothesized that during the c-section, a bit of endometrial tissue was dropped into my incision and grew there. A few weeks later I developed an incisional scar, and the gynecologist numbed the area, cleaned out the infection, and closed it back up. While I was awake. I had forgotten about that ’til just now. It didn’t hurt (since it was numbed), but good god am I getting the oogies thinking about it.

5. Age 25ish: Wisdom teeth removed. (I don’t really consider this a “surgery”, but they did knock me out to do it, and there was a recovery period, so I’m counting it.) All I wanted to eat while I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth out was Spaghetti-Os. Which sound pretty damn good right now, believe me. The worst part about recovering from this was that just as I figured the healing was done, it felt like the bones in my face were shifting. It ached horribly. Gah.

6. Age 32: Had a tube put in my left ear. I don’t remember a damn thing about the surgery except that the next morning when I woke up (at home – it was just day surgery), I ached from head to toe.

7. Age 38: Weight Loss Surgery.

8. Age 38: Gallbladder removed.

9. Age 40: Lower body lift.

So this surgery I’m going in for tomorrow will be my 10th surgery. I expect that, recovery-wise, it’ll be a little worse than the gallbladder removal (because they did that laparascopically) and not nearly as bad or prolonged as the lower body lift. She didn’t mention drains, so hopefully I won’t have any of those (I didn’t with the gallbladder).

Let me put it this way: with the lower body lift, where they made an incision alllll the way around my body and stitched up my abdominal muscles and stuck drains all over the damn places, I was doing dishes (“doing dishes” – putting dishes in the dishwasher) and some light laundry. There’s no way that having a little bitty organ removed from my body is going to keep me bedridden for two weeks, is all I’m saying.

Not that I’m going to push it, either, don’t lecture me. I plan to watch plenty of bad TV and take it easy. I have 10 episodes of Hoarders saved for just this occasion, and although Fred never did get the Blu-Ray player set up to stream Netflix movies, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of stuff to keep me occupied. That’s what remote controls are for, after all!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dropping the Magnolias off yesterday morning went just fine. Drum howled most of the way to the adoption center, because he’s elected himself the mouthpiece for the litter, but once I was actually in the room and getting their cage prepared for them, they were so interested in what was going on that none of them thought to complain any further.

When it was time for me to leave, all except Clairee were already in the cage, checking out the toys I’d put in there. I picked up each of them and gave them a hug and kiss, and then put them back in the cage and shut the door.

When I leave kittens at the adoption center, I always watch them from outside the room, through the window, to see how they act. The Magnolias seemed a little confused, but not scared.

Except for M’Lynn, who went into the litter box to hide. Oh, M’Lynn. Break my heart, why don’t you?

But guess what? M’Lynn AND Truvy were adopted last night! Not together, but still. My little skittish girl won someone’s heart, which does not surprise me at all! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Drum, Ouiser and Clairee are adopted this weekend.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Okay, I’m outta here.

Like I said yesterday, I’ll likely be Twittering, and maybe even posting here via my cell phone. I’ve changed the setup of the page so that the most recent 10 entries show up if you go to the main page. That probably means that the page will load slowly, sorry about that. Fred will try to remember to post something here letting y’all know I came through surgery just fine (feel free to email and harass him if he hasn’t posted anything by, say, 1:00 Central time.)

I don’t know when I’ll be back and posting regularly – I wouldn’t expect too much before Monday, if that. I don’t intend to spend much time in front of the computer, but who knows?

See ya when I see ya!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Stinkerbelle sure does love her Tommy with a passion.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previously
2009: Usually, Fred’s Ross and I’m Chandler. Or Joey. Except that I’m kinda ditzy like Phoebe. I am an amalgam of Friends characters!
2008: No entry.
2007: No entry.
2006: Unless maybe it’s a magic leotard and the source of all her powers?
2005: “Life’s too fucking short to read books that suck.”
2004: Damn you, DVR! I WANT to love you, but you’re toying with my emotions!
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: I’m not sure what effect, if any, it had on her.

2/9/10 – Tuesday

One more dayyyyyyyyy!!! Given that my surgery is taking place so early in the day, Fred may go to work for a few hours, and if so I’ll have him post something here letting y’all know that I lived. I suspect I’ll also be Twittering intermittently, so you can check there. I may even be … Continue reading “2/9/10 – Tuesday”

One more dayyyyyyyyy!!!

Given that my surgery is taking place so early in the day, Fred may go to work for a few hours, and if so I’ll have him post something here letting y’all know that I lived. I suspect I’ll also be Twittering intermittently, so you can check there. I may even be blogging from my phone from time to time, depending on how out of it I am (the more out of it, the more fun the posts, right?!)

I don’t know why I’m telling y’all all of this, since I will be posting an entry before we leave for the hospital tomorrow and will likely tell you all of this again then!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We had steak, beans and rice Chimichangas for dinner last night (and salad too, I swear we do get our veggies in even though I rarely mention them!), and holy moley were they good! The only thing I’ll do differently next time is leave the cumin out of the marinade, because I am not a fan of cumin.

I’m pretty sure I’ve expressed, in the past, my belief that cumin smells and tastes like B.O.

Nance once mocked me for pronouncing cumin like “cyoo-min” instead of “coo-min.” Is it a regional difference in the pronunciation of the word, or am I just totally pronouncing it wrong? How do y’all pronounce it?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I started out yesterday with the biggest of plans, to get the house scrubbed in preparation for the fact that Fred will be responsible for keeping the house clean while I’m recovering from surgery. I was going to do some SERIOUS cleaning, but when it came down to it, the house is actually not so very much of a mess, so I ended up soaking all the humidifiers to get rid of the build-up (empty the humidifier, fill the base with white vinegar, let it sit for half an hour, scrub and rinse), did some laundry, ran the Swiffer Duster over various super-dusty spots in the house, and called it good enough.

Well, I also dumped the litter in each litter box through a sifter (looks somewhat like the insert in this litter pan combo), scrubbed down each litter box, coated each litter box with a light coat of Pam cooking spray (then wiped the excess Pam off), and dumped the clean litter back into the boxes.

This morning, after I take the Magnolias to Petsmart, I’m going over to Sam’s, swinging by Kohl’s, and then coming home to clean the foster room and vacuum the entire house.

The worst part of having surgery is having to wait for it to be time to HAVE the surgery. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever, and it’s still not time yet!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I’m leaving soon to take the Magnolias to Petsmart. They’re all going to be in one (big) cage, which makes me glad, because I like that they’re going to have each other for comfort. It’s a moot point, though, because they’re all going to get adopted during adoption hours tonight, right? RIGHT!

All five in one picture! (Too bad they’re not all in focus!)

Obviously I was waving a toy over my head to get their attention. Hey, it worked!

Skeptical Truvy.

Drum has got the thickest, most luxurious fur. It’s such a pleasure to pet him (and a good thing, too, ’cause he can’t get enough of being petted!)

Sweet Ouiser. Have I mentioned that I’m pretty sure Ouiser thinks she’s a puppy? She loves to run around with a mylar ball in her mouth.

Clairee wonders if it’s time for the pettin’ yet.

I just adore M’Lynn’s markings. Basically, she’s a white cat that someone tossed brown tabby spots at!

Smilin’ Truvy.

Smilin’ M’Lynn.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Miz Poo knows something’s up…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previously
2009: “They’re rejects from the nursery!”
2008: No entry.
2007: Beach Roses (fiction).
2006: Giggling like that is EXACTLY something Fred would do.
2005: Taking the day off.
2004: I don’t believe I mentioned that the Bean has tapeworms.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: And I yelled “Any fucking thing else?!”, addressing, I guess, God.
2000: Okay, so I don’t have much to say today.

2/8/10 – Monday

I hope those of you who got hammered with all the snow these past few days have successfully dug yourselves out. Myself, I woke up this morning to this particular nightmare, so I feel your pain: I don’t know how on earth we’re ever going to dig out from under all that. It’s a good … Continue reading “2/8/10 – Monday”

I hope those of you who got hammered with all the snow these past few days have successfully dug yourselves out. Myself, I woke up this morning to this particular nightmare, so I feel your pain:

I don’t know how on earth we’re ever going to dig out from under all that.

It’s a good damn thing we have plenty of toilet paper and bread! God knows when we’ll ever be able to get out of the house again!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So there was some sort of football game last night, I understand?

I kid. We actually sat and watched the whole Superbowl. Okay, Fred read and I surfed on the laptop, and we only paid attention during the commercials, but the TV was on the whole time.

A few hours before the game was due to start, I said “The Saints – New Orleans, right?”

“I think so,” Fred said.

“Who are they playing against?”

“The Patriots, maybe?” Fred offered.

I shrugged.

Fred sat down about half an hour before the game started, and then I wandered into the room and he said “They’re playing against the Colts.”

“Denver?” I said.

“I think St. Louis.”

Turns out we were both wrong. Clearly we’re not the sporty type. I’ve seen so many good Super Bowl recipes lately that it almost made me want to host a Superbowl party, regardless!

My favorite commercials were the Boost Mobile Shuffle (I canNOT believe it’s been 25 years since the Bears did the Superbowl Shuffle! I’m the punky QB known as McMahon! When I hit the turf, I’ve got no plan!) and all the E-Trade commercials.

Damn, I love me a talking baby.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Over the weekend, I did a lot of cooking, getting stuff ready to freeze so that Fred won’t have to do too much cooking while I’m recuperating from surgery (two more days! Uh.. yay?).

One thing I made was a batch of Baked Chimichangas. Reader Brenda sent me the recipe a while back, and I made them and really liked them, then realized when I was making a batch on Saturday that I’d never posted the recipe.

So here you go – Baked Chimichangas! Easy to put together, easy to freeze and then bake when you’re in the mood to just pop something in the oven. And best of all, it’s a recipe that’s easy to mess with – you can make it spicier or wimpier, you can add rice to the beans, you can use steak or pork if you want. Yesterday, I marinated steak in this Carne Asada marinade, pan-cooked the steak with onion strips, mixed a can of refried beans with brown rice, and used that for my Chimichangas filling. It was fabulous! The world is your oyster with this recipe (hmm… shrimp chimichangas?).

Highly recommended!

I also made a lasagna and a chicken and rice casserole.

That should take us through at least two weeks, and hopefully after that I can get back in the kitchen even if I need Fred to do the heavy lifting.

I don’t think I mentioned it before, but my gynecologist/ surgeon told me that she won’t need to slice through my abdominal muscles to remove The Organ That Shall Not Be Named, she’ll just kind of pull the muscles apart to remove what she’s gotta remove. On the one hand, the idea of having my muscles pulled apart gives me the cringies. On the other hand, I’m thinking that if muscles aren’t being sliced open, the healing will go a lot quicker, no?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Today, I clean the house. Tomorrow, I take the Magnolias to Petsmart, run to Sam’s to pick up a few things (god help me if we run out of litter in the next few weeks! Fred refuses to step foot into Sam’s.), stop by Kohl’s to return some jeans, and then home again to do a thorough cleaning of the foster room and probably a thorough vacuuming of the entire house.

So off I go to get started!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

If you missed my weekend entries, here’s the quick update: Steely Dan and Fagen were adopted Friday night, together (!), and the Magnolias are going to the adoption center tomorrow morning!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Love & Hisses presents…

The Magnolias

Starring in:

COMPLAINTS? WE HAZ A FEW.

“I AM HUNGRY.”

“DRUM IS HOGGING THE CAT BED!”

“MY HAMMOCK IS TOO SOFT!”

“I’M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP AND OUISER KEEPS LOOKING AT ME!”

“I’M COLD!”

“I’M HOT!”

“MY PAW TASTES FUNNY!”

“YOU’RE TOO CLOSE! I NEED MY SPACE!”

“YOU’RE TOO FAR AWAY! I NEED MY SNUGGLES!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spanky always looks so expectant as he sits in his box, and so disappointed when nothing happens. One day we’re going to be sitting at our computers and Spanky’s going to climb into that box, and it’s going to TAKE OFF and Spanky’s going to zoom around the house and then out the door for parts unknown.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previously
2009: No entry.
2008: Which of your cats, if they were human, would you actually want to hang around the most?
2007: I judiciously left off the “You fucking motherfucking asshole.” part.
2006: And then the spud said “Is he trying to go to Narnia?”
2005: I’ll take my anonymous life, thank you.
2004: No entry.
2003: No entry.
2002: “What?” he said. “I WASN’T geeky!”
2001: No entry.
2000: Tomorrow, I’m going to go see Dr. Judy for my ear, out of which I still cannot hear anything but constant white noise.

2/7/10 – Sunday (kittehs!)

Local Huntsville artist Tracey Allyn Greene is having a Pet Portrait Giveaway in memory of her cat Bronte, who passed away last year. The winner of the Giveaway wins a 16×20 custom pet portrait oil painting. The proceeds benefit local cat charity Forgotten Felines. You can see more details and how to enter, here. … Continue reading “2/7/10 – Sunday (kittehs!)”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

On Thursday, when I went to Petsmart to scoop and feed the cats (and drop off Fagen and Steely Dan), I managed to remember to bring my camera along. So I shot pictures of the cats in the adoption center to share!

Akaisha – see her Petfinder posting here.

This is Buddy – he’s a huge sweetheart who doesn’t particularly care for other cats. But good news – Buddy was adopted Friday night! Yay!

Sweet Daphne. She really really REALLY enjoyed drinking out of the faucet! You can read her Petfinder posting here.

I let Dinah out of her cage and petted her for a few minutes. Then I turned around to scoop her litter box and WHOOSH! she was gone. Turns out she’d jumped up on top of the cages, and did some exploring. I thought I was going to have a problem getting her down, but I called to her, and she immediately came to the edge and let me lift her down. She’s a sweet girl. Read her Petfinder posting here.

Sweet little Hobbs. He got adopted Friday night, too! Yay!

One of these cuties is Peaches, and one is Valencia (or, to be honest, both pictures may be of the same cat!) You can read Peaches’ Petfinder posting here, and Valencia’s here.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Drum and Ouiser sure do enjoy a good fight!

Ouiser ultimately got the upper hand, and Drum ran for his life!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previously
2009: “IF I GET PIG SHIT ON ME, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!”
2008: Please don’t tell me she’s a flighty mess in real life.
2007: She became entirely liquid somehow, and flowed through my fingers and across the room, ending up under the bed.
2006: I think that the next thing Apple should create is a cell phone/ iPod player.
2005: Yes, I use the same kind of lotion as my CAT.
2004: No entry.
2003: Anyway. Enough about my underwear.
2002: You’ve been warned, skank hos out there who would swoop down upon my husband in his grief and get him to marry you.
2001: Yeah, that’s me, not giving a shit if they can see me or not…
2000: Really, what other journaller will thrill you with pictures from the litter box?

2/6/10 – Saturday (kittehs!)

So, guess who got themselves adopted last night?! TOGETHER! I think it’s all due to the happy adoption thoughts y’all sent this way! Yay, Steely Dan and Fagen! (And thank you all for your happy adoption thoughts!) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * … Continue reading “2/6/10 – Saturday (kittehs!)”

So, guess who got themselves adopted last night?!

TOGETHER!

I think it’s all due to the happy adoption thoughts y’all sent this way!

Yay, Steely Dan and Fagen!

(And thank you all for your happy adoption thoughts!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So Friday night was actually a really good adoption night for Challenger’s House. Not only did Steely Dan and Fagen get adopted (together!), but the big sweet flame-point Siamese mix who was in one of the big cages got adopted, along with Hobbs, a little kitten in a cage by himself (his friend Beaumont was adopted on Tuesday).

This means that there’s room in the adoption center for the Magnolias. I know, they just got here, but they’re super healthy kittens who’ve been spayed and id chipped, and since there’s room, well, off they go! Not ’til Tuesday morning, though, so we’ve got a few more days of love and snuggles before we have to say goodbye to them.

This morning I let them out into the rest of the upstairs, and they were curious and a little freaked out. After a few hours, they’d ended up in my room (they ALWAYS end up in my room, I don’t know if it’s the bed that entices them or what, but every litter we’ve let have the run of most of the upstairs ends up in my room, scattered in various spots), and so I let Jake and Elwood in to hang out with them. Jake and Elwood REALLY wanted to get in there and see what was going on. OH, you have never seen such hissy, growly, puffy drama queen kittens. Those Magnolias did NOT approve of Jake and Elwood approaching them, and they did NOT approve of Jake and Elwood sniffing them, and they did NOT approve of Jake and Elwood playing with their toys, and they did NOT approve of Jake and Elwood eating their food.

They did not care for Jake and Elwood, is what I’m saying.

After a few hours, I let Jake and Elwood out of the upstairs (and they were both like “Let us out. These kittens are WHACK, man!”), and the Magnolias settled down for a few hours, then I let Jake and Elwood in again. They were a bit less hissy and growly the second time around, so I suspect that after a few days they’ll calm down and maybe even play with the boys.

They really like the big cat tree!

Smilin’ M’Lynn.

Drum, up close.

Drum has declared that this little hammock is HIS.

One of his sisters said “Let me join you in that hammock!” and Drum said “Try it, and I will kick your butt.”

Ouiser sings the blues.

Ouiser eyeballs Clairee.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previously
2009: Pigs = stomachs on legs.
2008: At one point I turned around to say something to Sugarbutt, who was sitting by the screen door leading to the back yard, smacking at the cat door, and I saw every single chicken sitting on the back steps, staring expectantly at me, hoping I’d send some food their way.
2007: God. That sounds just like a herd of elephants, I thought.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: I DON’T KNOW YOU, I CAN’T CHAT WITH YOU, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
2003: Pictures found.
2002: That’s just the kind of sucky slacking emailer I am.
2001: You know, if I had ANY self-control at all, I’d wait to buy these books ’til they come out in paperback.
2000: No entry.

2/5/10 – Friday

I am having The Organ That Shall Not Be Named removed next Wednesday coughcoughcoughUTERUScoughcoughcough and thus I am spending a lot of time sitting around feeling like there’s something I should be doing, but when I try to pin it down, I have no fucking clue what it is. The house is cleanish, the laundry … Continue reading “2/5/10 – Friday”

I am having The Organ That Shall Not Be Named removed next Wednesday

coughcoughcoughUTERUScoughcoughcough

and thus I am spending a lot of time sitting around feeling like there’s something I should be doing, but when I try to pin it down, I have no fucking clue what it is. The house is cleanish, the laundry is done, the bills are paid, the checkbook is balanced, and I even cleaned out the worst of my desk drawers yesterday. I’m going to get groceries later today, and will make several dishes that can be frozen so that Fred will have to do very little cooking while I’m recovering from surgery. On Monday I’ll clean the house and make sure we have sufficient supplies of cat food and litter in stock (might require a trip to Sam’s, now that I think about it).

Other than that, I can’t think of a damn thing I need to do. I always get this way when something big is coming up, I get antsy and spazzy and at loose ends. Even when I’m about to go on vacation, I get all “But this desk drawer needs to be organized RIGHT NOW, I don’t care how late I have to stay up and get it done!”

Did you know that That Organ weighs less than a pound? I think it can be bigger and weigh more if it’s been stretched out by having a lot of kids (Michelle Duggar’s must account for half her body weight). Less than a pound. That figures – there go my dreams of having mine out and shrinking to Super Model size.

Stupid That Organ.

You don’t think my appendix thinks I’m talking about it, do you? NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, APPENDIX. GO BACK TO SLEEP.

Someone who is not blood relation to me highly HIGHLY disapproves of the fact that I am having a partial hysterectomy. This person is fond of lecturing Fred long and loud about how I should NOT have a hysterectomy, that THEY (okay, SHE) could have had a hysterectomy when such-and-such happened, but she insisted on keeping her That Organ, and on and on and onnnnnn. Her disapproval is not assuaged by the fact that I am keeping my cervix and ovaries. She is not swayed from her disapproval by the talk of painful, never-ending periods nor the small fibroid that has taken up residence. She. Does. Not. Approve.

Has she expressed her displeasure (about the removal of an organ that does not concern her in the slightest) directly to me? Why, no. No, she has not. She prefers to lecture Fred at length.

She adores the sound of her own voice.

If she were to confront me about the fact that I am having That Organ removed despite her strong disapproval, I would say:

1. “Not your decision. Doesn’t involve you.”

2. “Not Fred’s decision. Not his That Organ.” (Though I did talk to him at length before I scheduled the operation. I’M NOT A MONSTER.)

3. “And thank you ever so much for believing that I am so goddamn ignorant that I am unable educate myself, weigh my options, and make my own informed decision without your extensive input. Clearly it was a spur-of-the-moment decision and I have no idea how to do research on any subject, ever. Please, please educate me. SHOW ME THE WAY. Obviously I SHOULD have begged for your input, given that in the time I’ve lived here, we’ve exchanged perhaps 1,000 words total.”

UGH.

And that’s all I have to say ’bout that.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Warning about Kindle book prices- I heard a news story on NPR’s Marketplace yesterday that Kindle book prices will likely be going up. Apple cooked up some kind of deal with publishers for the iPad, to the general effect of Apple charging more for ebooks if publishers give their business exclusively to Apple. So now Amazon will have to charge more, too, if they want to keep access to those publishers. Crappy that more competition is resulting in higher prices.

Bastards! All of them!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Oh, and I know you mentioned that you saw Food, Inc. but I can’t remember if you liked it. I was going to rent it yesterday and decided to wait until I knew if you thought it was worth a watch!

Oh, I liked it a lot! I don’t remember anything about it (I’m surprised I remember my name these days), but I know I liked it. A lot! 🙂

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I have a question, but you may have addressed it before. What do you scoop your litter boxes into? I have been using plastic grocery bags, but I’d like to stop using them. I just didn’t want to lug a big container (like empty litter pails, which I put the bags into, but I don’t always have one available) into the kitchen twice a day to scoop the two litter boxes, then lug it back to the garage. I’m not really sure there’s another option, though.

I used to buy plastic bags at Sam’s Club in bulk – I think they were 10 gallon bags – reassuring myself that I wasn’t killing the environment AS MUCH because they were smaller than the plastic bags you get at the grocery store, and they’re also a thinner plastic. (Also, less prone to having holes in the bottom. How many times in years past have I wandered through the house scooping litter boxes into grocery store bags, spilling nasty litter all over the place? COUNTLESS times, I assure you!) Recently, I bought biodegradable bags in bulk from eBay (“in bulk” should be my middle name) and have been using them. The upside: biodegradable! The downside: I can’t fit all the litter clumps from 7 litter boxes in one bag. Sometimes, I can’t fit all the litter clumps from 7 litter boxes in TWO bags. So, biodegradable, but I use more of them.

What earth-friendly options are the rest of you using? I’m always interested to hear other suggestions!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hubby works for Lowe’s. They have a new policy for employees that they ALL must be on the floor helping customers between 10-2 weekdays and 10-5 on weekends. That means no trucks can be unloaded, no forklifts (unless getting something for a customer) etc. My guess is either you went right before those hours and they were all trying to get their back stuff done or you just had a bunch of bad luck that day.

I’m thinking very hard here (can’t you see the smoke?), but I’m 75% sure it was after 10:00. I wonder if perhaps they just don’t get much call for assistance in that area, so the employees were concentrated in other areas of the store.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Go and see Avatar – I loved it and I find it hard to sit still through movies at the best of times.

Pardon me while I guffaw at my hilarity. I love accusing others of being skimmers, maybe because I myself am a skimmer.

We DID go see Avatar, a few days after Christmas. I only mentioned it in passing, though, so I can’t blame you for missing it.

Also, no way is Fred going to leave the ranch for a holiday any time soon! You have zero chance of a trip to Florida!

Oh, I don’t think I have zero chance – especially once the chicken yards are combined and we can worry a little less about the chickens falling prey to marauding raccoons or possums or whatever. I put my odds at, oh, 25%. Maybe 10%. We’ll see! If it comes down to it, I can always take myself to Florida!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

How big is that tv, Miz Robyn???

It is… 52 inches? 46? 39? Fuck if I know. I better ask Fred.

I was right the first time – it’s a 52 inch LCD TV. I finally convinced Fred that we needed to replace our 62″ huge-ass piece of shit TV. As a result, Fred whines and moans and complains about how “tiny” the new TV is, but you know what? I can SEE the freakin’ picture on this TV, so I’m happy! When we had the old TV, we rented the most recent Harry Potter movie, but had to turn it off after 10 minutes because the picture was so dark we couldn’t see what the fuck was going on. We rented it again after we got the new TV (AND a Blue-Ray player), and the picture was crisp and clear and easy to see.

As a bonus, the Blue-Ray player will stream Netflix movies. Fred was supposed to get it set up (with a wireless something-or-other) before I have surgery next Wednesday, but I’m not sure he’ll have time.

I guess I’ll just have to content myself with endless episodes of Roseanne and Friends and Sex and the City!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Regarding the smell of canned cat food on hands… I have no idea if this would work, but you know those stainless steel bars (shaped like soap) that are awesome for ridding hands of onion reekage? The package claims it works on other “strong scents” so I wonder if it would help with cat food. A long shot, I think, but maybe…

I need to get one of those bars, because I swear to god I chop an onion just about every day and walk around with Onion Hands, which is ever so pleasant.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Just saw a snip of History Channel’s “Modern Marvels: THE EGG” – some really neat stuff on that show, several kinds of “free range” organic operations, and a cute funny English chicken farmer (in America) at the end. Have you seen this show? If not I thought of you & thought you’d find it interesting. Aigs!

I have not seen that show – but I’m definitely going to check it out! (Though I’m not positive that we get the History Channel.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Does the doll chime?

When my daughter was a wee one I bought her a pricey, at the time, chiming bird and she would never play with it. Now I’m wondering if she thought it was creepy.

The doll does not chime. Though it does breathe fire and threaten to steal my soul, is that similar?

I kid.

Y’all’s hatred for the doll in yesterday’s comments cracks me up. I kind of like it! Creepy’s not always bad, you know. I’m going to position it facing the front door so that anyone who breaks in will be frightened off by it. Or will have their face chewed off by it, one or the other!

Miz Poo has been spending a LOT of time rubbing her face on the doll. I hope the doll’s not giving her any ideas!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You might answer this on the Friday question day, but I wondered if you were watching the “Real Housewives of OC”?? what do you think of the new girl and her husband. Am I the only one who thinks he is a pompous ass?! I forget their names. She is blonde, they have twin little ones and a nanny.

Oh, INDEED I am! Alexis and Jim is who you’re referring to, and EVERYONE thinks Jim is a pompous ass, believe me. They’re a fairly insufferable couple, the two of them (some sites refer to her as Jesus Barbie, which couldn’t possibly be a better nickname). I can barely stand to look at her, with her humongous fake boobs and humongous fake lips. She’s going to be crippled by back pain within 5 years, if she isn’t already. I thought Jim was a TAD more likable in last week’s episode, when he was trying to help Alexis’ two brain cells figure out how to force Gretchen and Tamra to get along, but still. Alexis and Jim have TWO nannies, yet still poor Alexis must break away and have a few hours of “me” time at the spa every now and then. THANK GOD she’s able to do that, she CLEARLY spends all her other time (when she’s not lunching with friends or working out at the gym or hanging out at the track) just giving and giving and GIVING.

I think the producers must have some sort of stake in making sure that Donn is the ONLY likable husband (or man, really) on that show.

I don’t know why Alexis is so hell-bent on making Gretchen and Tamra make up. The two of them get along perfectly well in social situations, who cares if they secretly loathe each other?

Lynne and her husband are a fucking mess, and I think that if they got their shit together, took the fucking PHONE away from their spoiled little 17 year-old and stopped giving her money, Princess would shape right the fuck up. I have no patience for parents who won’t parent and then whine “Where did we go wrooooong?” My prediction: Lynne will be in rehab before the next season starts.

I have actually felt sorry for Tamra this season, since she’s obviously so deeply unhappy. She needs to stop worrying about what the hell Gretchen is doing, and worry about her own ass. In case you hadn’t heard, Simon has filed for divorce (and good fucking riddance to HIM.)

Vicki doesn’t seem to be around much this season, does she? I know she was slated to have some big blowup with Alexis in last night’s show, but I haven’t watched it yet, so don’t have an opinion on that. I think that almost splitting with Donn last season scared her into realizing she’s got it pretty damn good. Her reaction was super odd when he gave her that ring last week, though, wasn’t it? She almost looked scared as she was opening the box!

I like Gretchen, but she needs to stop laughing like a hyena every time she says something even slightly humorous. Also, do we really NEED another makeup line? Please. Also also, FUCKING LOSE THAT LOSER SLADE. Thank you.

Your thoughts, OC lovers?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So, I emailed the shelter manager yesterday to ask if there was going to be room for Steely Dan and Fagen at the adoption center soon. I’m having surgery next Wednesday (I’m going to be spayed! Well, partially spayed. I bet the vet wouldn’t charge nearly as much as my surgeon. AND I’d get to go home the same day! Too bad the vet has a no-operating-on-humans policy. Or I assume she does, anyway.) and I had hoped to get them settled before then. Not that they’re any problem – they’ve meshed pretty seamlessly with our cats, and if they needed to stay longer, they certainly could. But I won’t be lifting anything heavy for a few weeks, so either they’d need to go soon, or wait ’til I recovered enough to lift them.

(Yes, Fred COULD take them to the adoption center and get them set up, but I prefer to do it myself.)

Anyway, she said she was sure we could figure something out, and then later she emailed me and said that since I was going to Petsmart to scoop litter boxes and make sure all the cages had food and water (I was filling in for the regular Thursday evening volunteer), I could just bring them with me and get them all set up.

So, I did. Those boys went into the carrier very easily, hardly made a peep on the drive to the store, and were mostly curious about what was going on at the store.

I honestly expected that they’d both run into the litter box and hide immediately upon being put into their cage, but they looked around curiously for a long time.

(And then Steely Dan went into the litter box to hide, while Fagen sat in the cage. I rather expected it to be the other way around!)

They’ve both been given very strict instructions to look super cute (NOT a hard job for them) and to get themselves adopted before the weekend is up!

Send happy adoption thoughts this way, would you?

Steely Dan on the couch; Fagen shooting hate rays from between the couches.

Steely Dan: “I don’t know, it’s kind of nice… Our own food and water, litter box, some cool toys…”
Fagen: :::HATE:::

Steely Dan: “I think I’m going to go hide in the litter box.”
Fagen: :::HATE:::

(Fagen was hating because I had just snuggled and kissed him, then removed a few eye boogers from his eye. O the indignity!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This boy right here? He’s 3 pounds, 7 ounces of pure needy love. You come into the room, you pet him. ONLY him. You try to pet one of his sisters and he WILL NOT HAVE THAT.

Did I mention that these guys are enjoying the heck out of their brand new Ham-Mick?

They really are.

Seriously!

Also comes in handy when the fightin’ urge strikes. You can fight in comfort!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Why so serious? (Jake the lunatic.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previously
2009: The volume of a tiny pig squealing is utterly amazing.
2008: At one point I turned around to say something to Sugarbutt, who was sitting by the screen door leading to the back yard, smacking at the cat door, and I saw every single chicken sitting on the back steps, staring expectantly at me, hoping I’d send some food their way.
2007: God. That sounds just like a herd of elephants, I thought.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: I DON’T KNOW YOU, I CAN’T CHAT WITH YOU, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
2003: Pictures found.
2002: That’s just the kind of sucky slacking emailer I am.
2001: You know, if I had ANY self-control at all, I’d wait to buy these books ’til they come out in paperback.
2000: No entry.

2/4/10 – Thursday

The other day, I was sitting in front of my computer when the driveway alarm went off. I got up and looked out the door to see what was going on, expecting it to be UPS or FedEx, and saw two men standing under the magnolia tree next to the driveway, looking toward the back … Continue reading “2/4/10 – Thursday”

I don’t like dealing with strangers. Perhaps I’ve mentioned?

I opened the door and stepped out onto the side stoop, and one of the men approached me.

“Do you have… uh… not chickens….” he looked toward the back forty, and then back at his friend, who was still standing under the magnolia tree, messing with his cell phone. His friend mumbled something to him.

“Fish?” he said uncertainly.

I’d been expecting “eggs” or possibly “turkeys” or even “pigs”, but “fish” threw me for a loop. I was sure I’d misunderstood.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Do I have what?”

He looked back at his friend, who mumbled something to him again.

“Fish?” he said, moving his hand in the vague motion of a fish moving through water.

“Fish?” I said.

His face lit up. “Yes, fish!”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, no, we don’t have fish.”

He looked confused and then looked back toward the back forty as though perhaps I was lying to him, and he’d see an army of fish marching toward us to prove that I was a big lying liar. “I… okay, I sorry,” he said, and I assured him it was okay, and then he and his friend left.

Now I’m really wishing I spoke Spanish, because I’d love to know why on earth he thought we might have fish. The only thing I can guess is that they’ve seen all the freakin’ standing water in the back forty and think there’s a pond back there. That, or his friend was messing with him and telling him that the English word for eggs is “fish.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Photographic proof that (1) I occasionally wear a color OTHER than gray:

(I call this smug, close-lipped smile “The Douchey McGee.” Zoolander ain’t got nothin’ on me.*)

and that (2) I am now a proper scarf-wearing blogger, thanks to Nance.

*Could not remember the name “Zoolander” nor the name of his creator, so said to Fred, “Who is… Ben…”
Fred: “Affleck?”
Robyn: “No. Funny. Not as funny as he thinks he is.”
Fred: “Stiller!”
And then Fred was greatly amused that he’d gotten the right Ben from that cue.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Can someone tell me how the holy fucking hell I managed to hear about Blame, by Michelle Huneven (someone somewhere recommended it, I do not retain the information of exactly where the recommendation came from, you know you envy my razor-sharp mind) and had a sample sent to my Kindle, given that apparently now it is NOT available on Kindle and in fact is not available in any form from Amazon unless I want to pay almost $30 or buy from a third party?

What the frustrating fuckity-fuck is going ON? I liked the sample I read, and now I want to read the goddamn thing! On my Kindle! ARGH!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The morning after my parents arrived, I came downstairs and was greeted by this, sitting on my desk.

My mother said that she thought it was mine (though she wasn’t positive), and that someone gave it to me when I was a newborn.

Is it just me, or is it just a little creepy? Or maybe a LOT creepy? I need to find a place for it rather than on my desk because it keeps LOOKING at me, and I’m a tiny bit afraid it’s going to leap at me all of a sudden and chew my face off.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Steely Dan and Fagen love to spend their days on the cat tree in the front room.

They also love glaring at me, obviously.

I was on the couch watching Lost yesterday (I LOVE YOU SAWYER!), and had my electric throw over me, and at some point I realized that someone was snuggled up to my leg. Imagine my surprise when I looked and saw Dan, snuggled up, happy and warm, and sound asleep.

Silly boy.

Then last night I was watching more TV, and looked to see that not only was Dan snuggled up to me, but so was Fagen! I consider these two scaredy-cats conquered. No cat can resist the allure of the heated throw!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Drum is the snuggliest boy on earth, I swear. As soon as I sit down, he’s on my lap demanding love.

M’Lynn keeps a wary eye on me.

Sweet Clairee.

THLURRRRP

Guess who just so happened to be sitting at my feet yesterday afternoon? And guess who I picked up, and not only did she NOT fight me, she snuggled right into me. I’m sure the formerly skittish M’Lynn would claim that she was drunk off the sunlight pouring into the room or dopey from the warmth of the room, but I do believe she’s a snugglebug at heart.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jake, showing off his loony side. (ALL sides of Jake are his loony sides!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previously
2009: Dogs like to chew! Who knew?
2008: “WHERE’S THE SCAR?! HERE ARE HIS WRISTS, WHERE’S THE SCAAAAAAAAAAR?!”
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: How does one become a house appraiser?
2004: I told Fred about how little things remind me anew of our loss strike me when I’m least expecting it, and I cried again.
2003: And, oh and does fred annoy you? Not any more than I annoy him, probably. 🙂
2002: See something on the floor? Sit on it.
2001: No entry.
2000: Here’s a cute story to satiate your bitchypoo jones until then

2/3/10 – Wednesday (kittehs!)

Recent comments: Can I just say how much it cracks me up every time that you call it “gen pop”? I have mental images of very tough kittens glaring meaningfully at each other and forming small furry gangs. I have to admit that Fred’s the one who started referring to it as Gen Pop, but … Continue reading “2/3/10 – Wednesday (kittehs!)”