vacation – Page 2

7-28-09 – Tuesday

This’ll be a quick one – we’re leaving for the airport soon. I can’t believe my time in Pennsylvania is over already. The time has flown by so fast, and I’ve had a total blast! Yesterday morning we left out of here shortly after 8 (“we” being Nance, Rick, Shirley and I), ran a few … Continue reading “7-28-09 – Tuesday”

This’ll be a quick one – we’re leaving for the airport soon.

I can’t believe my time in Pennsylvania is over already. The time has flown by so fast, and I’ve had a total blast!

Yesterday morning we left out of here shortly after 8 (“we” being Nance, Rick, Shirley and I), ran a few errands, and then headed to West Virginia for the Homer Laughlin China Company, where they make the Fiesta Ware we love so much.

We did a tour of the factory, which was very interesting (what I could hear of it, that is; it gets pretty loud in that factory), and then we got to eyeball the museum.

If you’re interested in Fiesta Ware and within a day’s drive of Newell, WV, I think it’s worth the drive. You can get some really good seconds at an amazing price. After the tour of the factory and the eyeballing of the museum, I must have spent a good solid hour digging through stuff in the seconds room. I got a TON of stuff, but of course didn’t think to get a picture of it.

We left there and got lunch – would you believe that before yesterday, I’d never had a chili dog? It was really damn good, too.

We went over to this HUGE antique mall, and spent a long time poking around. I ended up with a few small pieces of Fiesta Ware, and a couple of bowls to add to my Fire King collection, and I saw a creamer that was exactly like one Debbie and I used to play with when we were little.

We left there and went to the Hall China Company, and I picked up a yellow serving bowl and some cool little plates. I don’t have any idea on earth what I’m going to do with those little plates (no picture of those either, sorry), but at $1.50 each, I couldn’t resist.

We left there and made several more stops – I honestly don’t remember all the places we stopped. I know there was a visit to Starbucks, and we stopped and got ice cream, and a stop by a bakery. Oh, and Wal-mart, which surprisingly enough was not so different from our Wal-mart at home. Go figure.

When we got home, Nance presented me with something they’d bought for me on the sly while I wasn’t paying attention, to commemorate my visit to Pennsylvania, and I was thrilled like you wouldn’t believe.

Very me, don’t you think?

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And now I’m headed home. There might be an entry tomorrow, or there might not – there’ll definitely be something up on Thursday, though, promise.

Of course, I’ll be Twittering all the way home.

Maddy does not approve of this “Twitter” nonsense.

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Previously
2008: Oh tomatoes, how you PISS ME OFF.
2007: No entry.
2006: Y’all are good for my yellow ego!
2005: Maine recap.
2004: Hawaii recap.
2003: Maine recap.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: The cats are suddenly deciding to take closed doors as a personal affront.

7/27/09 – Monday

We had waffles for breakfast, and then hit the road yesterday morning. And then I set foot in a theme park for the first time in well over 10 years. I rode a ton of scary rides, and I had a BLAST. We got to Kennywood, and it was rainy and overcast, and Rick pointed … Continue reading “7/27/09 – Monday”

We had waffles for breakfast, and then hit the road yesterday morning.

And then I set foot in a theme park for the first time in well over 10 years. I rode a ton of scary rides, and I had a BLAST.

We got to Kennywood, and it was rainy and overcast, and Rick pointed out a roller coaster and suggested we give it a try. I shuddered like the delicate creature I am, and said “After all these years, I should start with something a little tamer…”

And then Rick and I went on this.

You get in these seats – there’s nothing under your feet – and they hoist you way up to the top of this tower, and then you hang there for 20 seconds or so. Just as you’re starting to think “Okay, I think we’re stuck. How the hell are they going to get us down?”, they drop you.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, and then I took a gasping breath, and I screamed some more. I did a LOT of screaming yesterday, because we rode a lot of rides, and except for the carousel, they were pretty freakin’ scary. Rick and Trey and I rode a good number of the rides in that park, some of them twice.

Nance only rode the carousel – the rest of the time, she waited for us to get off rides, and snapped pictures, and carried all our shit around.

She’s a very good pack mule (I didn’t get many pictures, because she carried my bag around most of the day, and my camera was in it).

We played games, and to Nance’s everlasting shock, I am not completely horrible when it comes to getting a basketball in a basket. I got the first basketball in, and I won a small prize. I got the second basketball in, and traded up to the medium prize. Then I choked on the third one, which is probably a good thing because Nance had to haul the medium prize (the Steeler’s bear sticking out of her KATG backpack, which I won for Shirley) around all day long.

We played other games, too, so I’m going home with a couple of small stuffed animals.

Did I mention that I had fun? Because I had a LOT of fun. The last time I remember setting foot in a theme park is when the spud was about 3 years old and I weighed over 300 pounds, and my ex-husband and I got on a roller coaster to ride it, and the bar couldn’t go down far enough because I was too fat for the ride, so I had to get off the ride with thirty zillion people watching.

Although I had no problem fitting on the rides yesterday, I was paranoid that the bars wouldn’t go down far enough. They did, though – and I didn’t have to do the Walk of Shame. THANK GOD.

Today, we’re off to the Fiesta factory to see how Fiesta Ware is made, and so that I can spend the gift certificate I got for my birthday. I know I’m a total dork, but I can’t WAIT.

(I’ve already told Nance and Rick I’m coming back next July and escorting them to Kennywood. They were thrilled, of course.)

7/26/09 – Sunday.

Yesterday, we just sat around Nance and Rick’s and shot the shit (also, there might have been a nap or two involved), and I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. I’m sure everyone’s seen this video, but on the off chance you haven’t, check it out: Nance played that thing no less … Continue reading “7/26/09 – Sunday.”

Yesterday, we just sat around Nance and Rick’s and shot the shit (also, there might have been a nap or two involved), and I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.

I’m sure everyone’s seen this video, but on the off chance you haven’t, check it out:

Nance played that thing no less than 4 times yesterday, and I had never heard the song before, but now it’s bouncing around in my head. Nance has decreed that either Alex or Trey (or both!) must do something like that when they get married, so she can dance down the aisle.

In the evening, Alex and Brittany and Regan showed up, and I don’t remember everything we talked about (truly, we need to live-blog one of these gatherings), but I do recall a discussion wherein Shirley asked if stillborn babies are insured and they must have talked about it for twenty minutes.

And no one was even drinking!

We sat outside and took turns playing Cornhole (a game wherein you toss beanbags into a hole in a board – or at least tempt to) and I am not talented when it comes to that game BELIEVE ME. Trey kicked my ass.

They have ten million fireflies here in Pennsylvania. I thought we had a lot at home, but there must have been a million of the damn things lighting up the night. I’m jealous; I love fireflies.

We have fun, fun plans for later today – but you’ll have to wait and hear about that tomorrow!

Julie lets her hillbilly roots show.

Nance in her fancy new sweater. (70% off!)

7-25-09 – Saturday

So yeah, I’m in Pennsylvania. I wasn’t really trying to pretend you guys wouldn’t know where I was going – honestly, when I travel, I go two places: Maine and Pennsylvania. I knew you guys would figure it out with no problem. Though I suppose I could have been going to BlogHer (not really my … Continue reading “7-25-09 – Saturday”

My flight left Alabama at 6:15, right on time, landed in Charlotte a little early, took off from Charlotte right on time, and landed in Pittsburgh a little early. It could not have been easier OR any more different than the last time I flew. I’m always going to fly out on early morning flights from here on out, I swear it.

Nance and Rick met me at baggage claim, we got my bag, and we were on the way!

We had lunch at Mineo’s – pepperoni pizza – and it was SO good. We checked out the sights, went over to Prantl’s to buy ladylocks, and I am ruined. I shall never eat another creme horn from the grocery store again, because it couldn’t possibly ever compare to those fabulous things.

We walked around some more, checking out the stores. We went into Sephora, and like I told Nance as we walked out, it was like the opposite of the mothership calling me home. Sephora is not my people. We went into Williams-Sonoma, which IS my kinda store, and then we went into the Apple store, which I swear to god smelled just like new car.

I SO want an iPhone, but I SO do not need one.

We stopped in a few more stores, and then went to Trader Joe’s, where I’ve never been before. I really liked it. If it’d been closer to home, I’m sure I would have stocked up on a ton of stuff!

We came back to Nance and Rick’s, and Felina and I bonded. I took a nap for a while, and then we sat around and shot the shit. Nance made dinner, wings and loaded potato skins, and I made a salad, and boy – those wings were SO FREAKIN’ GOOD. I told Nance I was going to marry those damn wings. She also made cupcakes, and they were also SO FREAKIN’ GOOD.

The barking’s been at a minimum this time around – she’s even let me hold her a few times!

Maddy actually APPROACHED me this time, sniffed my hand, rubbed up against me, and let me pet her! It was a little scary, actually – I was afraid she’d turn back into a demon and take my head off.

Pretty Waldo.

Julie wuvs her Daddy.

Sweet Sadie.

They feed me well in Pennsylvania. And the funny thing is that I always eat a lot when I’m here, but invariably when I go home, I’ll have lost a couple of pounds. I must work off weight with all the talking. Heh.

We sat around and talked for a few more hours, then a little after 11 I was ready for bed, and I slept like a log.

You can go over to Nance’s and check out the HORRIBLE pictures she took of me. I think her camera’s broken, it only takes bad pictures of me. It couldn’t possibly be the subject. HEE.

(Actually, I really like her camera, it’s a Nikon D40. It’s simple to use, takes good pictures (except of ME), and it’s lighter than our Sony. Maybe I’ll harass Fred into letting me sell the Sony and getting a Nikon instead!)

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Previously
2008: You’ve got questions, I’ve got answers.
2007: Evan Rachel Wood! You are throwing away your youth and beauty on a talentless freak! You are wasting the pretty! Stop it right now, young lady!
2006: No entry.
2005: Home again, home again.
2004: I am a SUCKAH for the bullshit claims on bottles of lotion.
2003: Momma always said, stupid is as stupid does…
2002: No entry.
2001: Oh joy.
2000: I’m such a wimp that even a confrontation on TV ties my stomach in knots.

6/24/09 – Vacation Recap, Part 3.

For those of you who’ve asked, Fred hasn’t posted an entry in forever and a day because he says he has nothing to write about. When the time comes that he has something to write about, he will. Also, he likes to torture y’all. * * * * * * * * * * * … Continue reading “6/24/09 – Vacation Recap, Part 3.”

For those of you who’ve asked, Fred hasn’t posted an entry in forever and a day because he says he has nothing to write about. When the time comes that he has something to write about, he will.

Also, he likes to torture y’all.

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It’s 3:47 am and I have gotten approximately 2 hours of sleep. Fred took Miz Poo to the vet yesterday and got a bottle of what is, ultimately, Valium for her. She’s been grooming her stomach to the point where she has no hair on it, and she started on her legs. Steroid shots haven’t helped, so we thought that putting her on something to break the behavior would help. Years ago we gave her Elavil for a few weeks, and it stopped her from doing whatever the fuck she was doing at the time.

Fred gave her her first dose of the medicine last night, and she hasn’t shut the fuck up for one fucking moment since.

I don’t mind telling you that I’m ready to burn the goddamn house down.

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Friday

Friday was all about waiting to hear if my oldest nephew and his girlfriend and their baby had arrived (they drove up from Maryland overnight). They arrived safely late morning, and we didn’t want to descend on them and overwhelm them immediately. We prefer to give people a little breathing room before we overwhelm them.

My littlest nephew was staying with my parents ’til Sunday, so it was my idea that we should take him to see Up. I’d heard good things about it all over the internet, and the internet is never wrong (except when it is, obv), so the spud and my mother and I went off to the movie theater a little after noon.

It was a very good movie, very sweet, very poignant, and I highly recommend it. My littlest nephew, who’s 4, seemed to really enjoy it (he’d like one of those collars that translates what a dog is saying, please, and put me down for two!)

(I’m pretty sure that that was the day when my littlest nephew informed me that “‘Please’ is the magic word that you say to make people do what you want them to do”. Dear internet: Please give me one million dollars!)

We headed back to my parents’ house for a little while, and then they headed out to see my nephew and his girlfriend and their baby. The spud and I headed over to hang out with Debbie and Liz at Debbie’s house. We didn’t stay too terribly late, I stopped on the way back to my parents’ house (the spud opted to stay and hang out with Brian for a little while) and checked out Liz’s new apartment. It’s seriously cute, and after hanging out for a little while, I headed back to my parents’, read for a while and then went to sleep.

Saturday

Saturday morning, the spud and I got up early and went yard-saling with Liz. Liz is new to the whole yard-saling thing, and with Debbie’s help she’s pretty much furnished her entire apartment with yard sale finds. A brand-new-looking couch for $15, an overstuffed chair for free, dishes, lamps, all sorts of things. We spent a few hours checking out yard sales. I found a chair that would go GREAT in the foster kitten room – $15! – but obviously there was no way to get it home.

I need to start hitting the yard sales at home, obviously.

I did buy a small pile of baby blankets, because I can either use them in the kitten room or cut them up and use them to clean with, I haven’t decided which yet. Liz had plans to go to Boston with friends, so after a while she bailed, and we picked up Debbie to go to Augusta and have lunch at Olive Garden.

As is always the way when we eat at Olive Garden, we ordered an appetizer, and after the appetizer and salad and breadsticks, we weren’t much interested in our main courses. I got shrimp and chicken carbonara, picked out all the shrimp and most of the chicken, then sent the leftovers home with Debbie in case Brian was interested in eating what was left.

We dropped Debbie off at home and went back to my parents’ house. We hung out in the basement for most of the afternoon, and then went upstairs to impatiently await the arrival of my oldest nephew, his girlfriend, and their wee baby. They showed up, and I waited my turn to hold the baby, and no sooner did I get my hands on that child than he went to sleep.

I seem to have that effect on babies.

They stayed for a few hours, and we all took turns getting barfed upon (I had no idea that baby barf, when comprised of breast milk, is a whole different animal than when it’s comprised of formula. It’s not 1/10th as nasty as baby barf from formula. That right there might have compelled me to breast feed the spud when she was a baby. I’ve probably said it before, but I’ll say it again – if I had it to do over again, I would totally breast feed. Probably.) I got my hands on that baby again, and eventually put him to sleep again.

Just call me the baby whisperer, right? (Or, more likely, very boring to babies!)

Sunday

Brian graduated!

I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to get a picture of him sitting on the bleachers with his co-graduates that at one point after they’d filed in and sat down, I stood on my chair and snapped pictures (the woman sitting behind me was worried the chair would tip over and send me to the floor, and kindly held onto my chair so that wouldn’t happen!). We got to meet and sit with Brian’s adorable girlfriend.

I have to say that that was probably the fastest graduation I’ve ever been to. There were speeches by the top three students, a speech by the advisor, possibly the principal spoke (I don’t remember), and the giving-out of the diplomas, and we were out of there in less than an hour and a half. There were less than 100 students in Brian’s graduating class, but still – amazing!

The spud and I went back to Debbie’s house to change into more comfortable clothes, and then headed over to my brother’s house. We hung out with my nephew/ his girlfriend/ the baby/ my brother/ and my parents for a few hours. I got to hold the baby a few times, but for once (I think; I could be remembering wrong) I didn’t put him to sleep!

I also got to see my brother’s cats, Dulcinea and Gizmo. Apparently it was dinnertime for them, so they came out of hiding to be fed by Mireya.

My brother made dinner for us – the MOST fabulous seafood enchiladas. I got half an enchilada to eat, and before I’d swallowed the first bite, I knew I was going to go back and get that other half! God, it was good. I’m drooling just thinking about it!

We headed home after a bit, and I think the spud and I just hung out at my parents’ for the evening.

Monday

Monday morning came way too early. The spud had started to not feel well on Sunday, and Monday morning we knew she was developing a cold. We left my parents’ house around 7:30, stopped by to pick Debbie up, and headed for Rhode Island. We got there in pretty good time, and went to the mall down the road from the spud’s house (she lives a stone’s throw of the RI/ Mass border). We ate lunch at the Italian restaurant there – a very good lunch indeed – and then did a little shopping at the mall. Debbie had a coupon for Victoria’s Secret (Debbie, for those of you who don’t know her, ALWAYS has a coupon.), so she bought a few things for Danielle at VS. The spud was clearly not feeling well, so after a quick turn around Bath and Body Works, we took her home.

I helped her bring her stuff upstairs to her apartment (which she shares with her father and stepmother), gave her a hug, and headed back to Maine.

I don’t know how long it took us to get back to Maine – it seemed to take forever, but that could be because every friggin’ time we left the interstate to find something to drink or to pee, we couldn’t find a McDonald’s or gas station to save our LIVES and had to drive for miles and miles. I think that if the McDonald’s isn’t located within half a mile of the exit, they shouldn’t be allowed to put a goddamn sign advertising it.

I dropped Debbie off, and got to my parents’ house, to find out that they’d spent a few hours in the middle of the day babysitting for my nephew’s son. They’d originally intended to leave for Maryland Monday evening, but put it off ’til Tuesday morning due to the impending bad weather.

Tuesday

One of the things I’d made a point of mentioning that I wanted to do, was go to LL Bean. My mother mentioned that there was a good restaurant (and some shopping) in Windham, so we decided to spend Tuesday shopping in Windham, eat lunch at Maine Bean, and then head to Freeport.

We only hit a few stores in Windham, but I really liked the gift shop my mother mentioned, Mills & Co. I bought a few things there, but trust me – if I lived in the area, I would have bought a ton of stuff! We had lunch at Maine Bean, as intended, and I decided it was time to have a lobster roll! My mother had the same, and let me tell you – that was one good lobster roll. I also bought a little container of small whoopie pies to take home, too.

We went to Freeport from there, and I think we wandered around LL Bean for a couple of hours. I swear I could spend all day in there and never get bored, it’s so big! I looked at the bags over and over again, and finally decided not to get a purse or a travel bag. I ended up buying some shirts, a couple of hooded sweaters, and looked hard at the SmartWool socks before I decided to wait and either buy them elsewhere or wait until the Christmas season, when I know someone who can get me a discount on them!

They’ve moved the LL Bean outlet store from where it was – across the parking lot from the main store – to a place down the street a ways, so we went there. I only ended up buying a water bottle. I picked up a leather bag and some shirts, but decided I didn’t need them, and put them back.

We were shopped out, and my parents had plans to go out to eat (and I had plans with Liz), so we headed back to their house.

That evening, Liz and I went to Applebee’s for dinner. We’d intended to go to Sea Basket for the best seafood in Maine, but they’re unfortunately closed on Tuesdays, so no Sea Basket for us this time around!

(More about Tuesday, here.)

Wednesday

Shopping with Debbie.

(I did not, by the way, actually buy those “Boogie Wipes”, just snapped a picture of them!)

In the evening, my parents and I met Brian at our favorite Chinese restaurant in Brunswick (China Rose? I think?), and then I hugged Brian goodbye and he left. We headed toward my brother’s house, but stopped at the base on the way. I haven’t been on the Navy base in Brunswick in years and years, and I was amazed at how much it’s changed. They knocked down the barracks! They built new apartments for the enlisted men and women! They built adorable townhouses!

(According to my father, they recently finished a multi-million-dollar hangar. Now the base is in the process of closing. Your tax dollars at work, folks!)

We finished our tour of the base and then headed over to my brother’s house. I’d burned a disc of pictures of the baby – and of Brian’s graduation – for him, and we sat around and talked for an hour or so.

We left as it was starting to get dark. At my parents’ house, I packed my suitcase (which didn’t take much time at all – never does, really), talked to Fred on the phone, and was in bed by 10:00.

Thursday

Got up at 3:30, showered, dressed, finished packing, and we were out the door by 4:01. We got to Portland in no time flat, I checked in, dropped my suitcase off at the screening thingy, and got through Security in no time flat. Plane left on time, landed in Dulles, I got a breakfast sandwich at Five Guys, read some junky magazine goodness, plane left Dulles on time, and at 9:40 I was home.

Now THAT is how you fly from Point A to Point B to Point C!

Once home, I unpacked, got groceries, went to the post office, and scrubbed down the kitchen counters. By the evening, I felt like I’d never been away from home at all.

And now you’re caught up!

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Guess who’s about to go off and be spayed and neutered???

Guess who also refused to pose nicely so I could get a picture of all three of them??

Brats.

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“Whut?”

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Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: For the record, that’s the sort of thing that gives me a fucking stroke.
2004: Oh, Rayford Steele, you manly stud.
2003: Now, do I look like the kind of gal who enjoys hiking?
2002: Some people have wild sex dreams. I dream that I’m chatting with my husband and kissing him goodbye for the day. Somebody stop me!
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.

6/23/09 – Vacation Recap, Part 2

Notes regarding comments from yesterday’s entry: Possibly if I’d had more than 20 minutes or so sleep the night I spent in Dulles, LaGuardia wouldn’t have been such a hellhole to me. As it was, I was ready to throw up my hands, give up, and begin wandering the streets of New York (assuming LaGuardia … Continue reading “6/23/09 – Vacation Recap, Part 2”

Notes regarding comments from yesterday’s entry:

Possibly if I’d had more than 20 minutes or so sleep the night I spent in Dulles, LaGuardia wouldn’t have been such a hellhole to me. As it was, I was ready to throw up my hands, give up, and begin wandering the streets of New York (assuming LaGuardia is actually located in New York. Which I’m not sure it is.).

And yeah, probably if I’d driven, I would have made it to Maine quicker. Actually, if I’d realized when they first started delaying my flight that I was going to end up spending the night in the airport, I would have rented a car and driven to Maine. It’s a 10 – 12 hour drive (or thereabouts) and I would have arrived in Maine before my flight left Dulles the next morning. At the very least, I could have driven for a few hours, stayed in a hotel, and then driven the rest of the way the next day.

Y’all are awfully sweet for offering your extra rooms and couches. I’ll certainly keep you in mind next time I travel! 🙂

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Thursday.

So after 12 hours of sleep, I woke up feeling mostly refreshed and ready to hit the road. I took my shower, and my mother and I were on our way to Rhode Island by 8:30 or so. We weren’t in a big hurry, because the GPS and Google Maps agreed that the drive would take 3 hours and 15 minutes, and the spud had a doctor appointment in the morning. We stopped in Portland for breakfast at IHOP, and then hit the road for real.

We made it to Rhode Island in pretty good time, and that goddamn GPS got us right to the street the spud lives on, but once we turned on the street, she said “You have reached your destination” all smug-like, and I was all “Um, wha? Here? Where is she?” The GPS just smirked at me and said “Oh, you think it’s so funny to mock me and take exits I don’t tell you to take, then whine about having to PEE when I tell you to turn around? Let’s see how you do on your own, Madame Hilarity!” I had to dig the Google Maps printout out of my purse to see what her exact street address was, and it was about half a mile down the road.

She was waiting for us (I’d called to let her know we were close), and we loaded up the car and then talked about where we were going for lunch. She mentioned that there was a Friendly’s nearby, so off we went.

It was nice to see her – it’s been about six months since she was in Alabama after Christmas – and we ate lunch and chatted and caught up with what’s going on with her and what’s going on in her life (in short, you nosy people: working a lot, going to school, has a boyfriend). We left from Friendly’s around 2 in the afternoon, headed back to Maine.

Things went well, we made a few bathroom stops and the traffic around Boston sucked, and we were getting back a lot slower than we’d gotten there, but when you’re driving around a big-ass city during rush hour, what can you really expect, right?

The problem came not long after we crossed the New Hampshire – Maine border. I started feeling very, very gassy – the high-up gas, not the down-low about-to-be-a-fart gas – and it was very painful. I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, and usually if I’m going to have food-related gas, it happens within the first hour, sometimes two. By the time the gas got really bad, it had been three hours since I’d eaten.

But things got even more fun.

We were on 295 North, and we had just passed the last Freeport exit, when traffic came to a complete stop. Turns out, FIVE MILES up the road, they were going from two lanes to one, and traffic was severely backed up. There was no exit between Freeport and Brunswick, and there was no way to turn around, so we could only go forward. And forward we went, incredibly, amazingly slowly. Crawwwwwwling.

The gas got worse.

And then, to my horror, I started gagging. And I started barfing. Inching down the road, I was throwing up into my hand while the spud and my mother searched desperately for something I could use to barf into.

“Pull over!” my mother said and “Just pull over, Mom!” the spud said, and I said “NO FUCKING WAY!”

There was no way on earth I was going to pull over to the side of the road, even just for a few minutes, because pulling over to the side of the road and parking meant there would be no forward progress, and all I wanted to do was get the fuck home.

My mother found a pack of tissues in her purse and handed them to me, and I wiped my hand off (up side to having had weight loss surgery: if you’re barfing almost 4 hours after you’ve eaten, there’s nothing at all present in your pouch which you can barf up. I barfed up a handful of foam.) and stuck the tissues in an empty cup.

Twenty minutes later, off I went again.

“I never EVER barf in the car!” I said to my mother during the brief period when I was feeling better. “The only other time I’ve barfed in the car, you were with me! This must be your fault!”

(She wasn’t convinced.)

We finally made it off 295 and were headed down the road that means it’s just ten minutes to my parents’ house when the gas that had been rumbling around in my gut finally made an exit.

“Sorry,” I said, blushing. I rolled down the window on my side of the car, which resulted in the wind rushing into the car from outside, snatching up the noxious odor, which bypassed my mother completely, and slammed it into the spud’s face.

(A story we recounted, and I do not exaggerate here, at least five times over the course of the weekend.)

We finally made it to my parents’ house, and as I pulled into the driveway and parked, the gagging and retching began anew.

I’d intended to take the spud over to see Debbie and Brian, but I felt like such total shit that I begged off. Brian came over to see the spud, and then they went off to hang out for a while, and I went to bed. The gas and the nausea eventually abated, and I went to bed and slept like the dead.

To be continued…

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Look who’s back!

Friday, I went and got them back from the foster mom who was caring for them while I was in Maine. I don’t know if they remembered me or not (I’d guess not, but who knows?), but they were certainly willing to be held and kissed.

I kept them in the foster room overnight, and then Saturday morning we let them out to roam the house. These guys are THE most laid-back kittens we’ve ever had, I swear. When Fred opened the door to let them out, they immediately came out and started exploring. It’s been my experience that kittens, when they’re let out, are at first wary and slink around, looking at everything. Not these guys! These guys were like “Hey! More room to explore!”

The funny thing is that with the entire house to explore, they’ve ended up spending the majority of their time in the computer room with me, sleeping on my desk or by the door. All kittens ALWAYS end up in the computer room! It’s apparently a house rule that our cats are whispering to them when we’re not paying attention.

Favorite thing to do: smack the blinds cord back and forth and back and forth AND back and forth!

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Miz Poo does not approve of this letting-the-kittens-run-free business.

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Previously
2008: Taking a few impromptu days off.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: I’ll try to drum up some drama for tomorrow, m’kay?
2004: (For the record, I do vacuum out there every couple of months…)
2003: A Day in the Life
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: I will be hurting bad tomorrow, though.

6/22/09 – Vacation Recap, part 1

My vacation recap, in short (ha ha HA!): Tuesday & Wednesday: Left home. My flight left Huntsville at almost 11, made it to Dulles with time to spare. I had a three-hour layover, which I whined extensively about before I left home, and so karma said “You want something to cry about? Let me see … Continue reading “6/22/09 – Vacation Recap, part 1”

My vacation recap, in short (ha ha HA!):

Tuesday & Wednesday: Left home. My flight left Huntsville at almost 11, made it to Dulles with time to spare. I had a three-hour layover, which I whined extensively about before I left home, and so karma said “You want something to cry about? Let me see what I can whip up for you.” First the flight was delayed by half an hour. Then it was delayed by an hour and a half. And then for a few hours it would get pushed back a little more. For a while it looked like the flight was always going to be two hours off. Then I was sitting there during the time in the evening when no flights were going out at all due to thunderstorms, and I idly glanced up to see that the flight was no longer listed on the monitor at the gate at all. I grabbed my stuff and went to the big monitor – the one that lists all outgoing flights – and saw a big flashing “CANCELLED” after my flight. I hauled ass to customer service and ended up second in line.

There was a customer service rep who was directing people to the computer terminals to the side of the customer service desk, but when she heard that I (and the guy in front of me) were going to Portland, she told us that she wasn’t able to pull anything up on the computer terminal, so we should just wait in line. We were waiting patiently for a customer service rep to become available, when a United agent showed up and said that she could help the next few people around the corner at the gate.

Like a goddamn idiot, I followed the guy in front of me. And I stood there for – I shit you not, I checked the clock on my cell phone three thousand times – FORTY MINUTES while they searched for a way to get that guy and his friend to Portland. When they found a way, there was an additional wait while they discussed AT LENGTH how he’d paid for his ticket. Apparently there were certain “points” involved and something special needed to be done and all I wanted to do was stab someone or break something (I think that throwing my phone on the floor, stomping on it, and bellowing “COME THE FUCK ON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST ALMOTHERFUCKINGMIGHTY FUCK YOUR FUCKING POINTS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!” would have been very cathartic.

But I refrained.)

She finally got him squared away (and he was apologetic, but I think he saw the murder in my eyes, because he was apologetic as he ran away from me) and then it was my turn. The guy in front of me had opted to fly into Boston that night and then drive to Portland. I wanted to do that, but of course – OF MOTHERFUCKING COURSE – he and his friend had gotten the last seats. The only way they could get me to Maine was to fly me to LaGuardia the next morning, and from there to Portland. When I shrugged and said okay, the gate agent gave me a look of surprise that I didn’t fully understand until the next day. See, I’ve never been through LaGuardia. I DIDN’T KNOW.

So I got my ticket booked and I called Fred and I ranted to him, and then I dithered about whether I wanted to spend the night in the airport or get a hotel room. My usual rule of thumb is that if you’re going to be stuck in an airport for five hours or less, it’s best to just stay in the airport. Longer, and it’s worth getting a hotel room. I had twelve hours until my flight was to leave, but I really didn’t want to spend the money. I finally decided to get a hotel room and called Fred to go on Expedia and book me a room, but he wasn’t able to find me anything for less than two hundred bucks.

The airport for the night, then.

I took the shuttle to the main terminal (I’d been hanging out in Concourse B most of the afternoon, because it’s big and shiny and has lots of stores and restaurants), but as soon as I realized you had to leave the secured area to get to the main part of the terminal, I turned right around and went back to Concourse B. I loathe going through security, and I wanted to avoid having to do it again if at all possible.

Back in Concourse B, I went to Brookstone and bought a charger for my cell phone. Knowing that I’d be carrying a laptop and the big (heavy) camera through the airport, I’d opted to pack all nonessential items rather than put them in my laptop. I’d planned to bring my cell phone charger, just in case, but Fred better-idea’d me and pooh-poohed the necessity of packing a cell phone charger for a day of traveling, and I was suckered in by his stupid fucking placid utter reasonable certainty of the silliness of such an idea, and packed it instead.

(Fred has been advised to keep his fucking better ideas to himself in the future.)

While I was in Brookstone, I bought an organizer case that had wheels on the bottom. I’d been shlepping my carry-on bag, which contained my laptop and big-ass heavy camera, all afternoon long, and my shoulder was painful to the touch. That organizer case, even if I never use it again in my entire life, was the best thing I’ve ever bought. EVER.

I wandered the concourse some more, ate dinner, and wandered yet some more. Given that Concourse B was so bright and shiny and had so many stores, I opted to stay there for the night. For future reference, if you’re stuck in a big airport for the night, don’t be suckered in by the big and shiny concourses. I was FREEZING in B, even though I’d bought an oversized sweatshirt. If I’d gone over to A, there were piles of blankets and pillows by one of the gates. It was also warmer over there, and someone had actually put up a TENT. All the seats in A and B were the divided kind, so you couldn’t lay down and get comfortable. Had I gone over to D, they have the old seats that don’t have dividers, and I could have gotten plenty comfortable.

Do some exploring, is what I’m saying. Don’t get stuck in your big and shiny comfort zone.

By 10 or so, things had started to shut down, so I found a place to plug in my cell phone charger, and I called Fred and talked to him for a while, then I talked to Debbie for a while, then I texted with the spud for a while. Once my cell phone was charged, I began wandering the concourse, looking for a quiet place to settle down for the night.

What ultimately ended up happening is that I’d sit and watch an episode of Gossip Girls (still working through Season 1) on my iPod, then I’d get up and wander the concourse for a while. Then I’d sit and try to get in a position where I could doze, wouldn’t be able to doze, and would get up wander the concourse for a while. Sit and watch another episode of Gossip Girls, wander the concourse, lather-rinse-repeat. I opened up my laptop several times to see if I could connect to the internet, but I couldn’t, and in the end I ran out of power and see above about not having a cord to charge the laptop with so I couldn’t even fire up the laptop and play a rousing game of Snood!

Occasionally another stranded passenger would wander through the airport or a cleaner would go by with a vacuum cleaner or cleaning cart, but for the most part, that was one deserted concourse.

Around 3:00, I decided that FUCK THIS SHIT, and I curled up against the wall, out of the way, and I managed to doze off for about 20 minutes straight, then eeked another 40 minutes of on-and-off dozing. I dropped off hard for about ten minutes, and woke to find approximately 30 people in my general vicinity. Turned out, I was near the gate that hosted the earliest flight of the day, and people wanting to get to San Salvador were waiting to board their plane.

Since I couldn’t sleep with so many people around, I got up, wandered the concourse some more, watched some more Gossip Girls, sat and stared off into space, and watched the clock on the wall slowwwwly tick off the hours. I finally wandered over to the A concourse to see if there was anything interesting going on over there, and that’s when I saw the tent set up. I snapped that picture, then had to pee, so I went off to pee and when I got back the tent had been taken down and whoever had been inside was gone. I was disappointed, because I was VERY curious to know how exactly he’d conveniently happened to be carrying a tent with him.

The time finally came when I could see which gate my flight would be leaving from – D concourse – and after I got breakfast (I kind of wanted Dunkin Donuts, but not surprisingly their breakfast items are rather low on protein, so I opted for an egg and cheese sandwich at Five Guys) I boarded the bus to get to D. I found my gate, boarded the plane with no issues, and off we went to LaGuardia.

I don’t know what I did so wrong in my last life that I would end up in LaGuardia, but I will tell you that I wandered around that goddamn motherfucking asshole of the universe, on the verge of bursting into tears, for half an hour before I found someone who could tell me that I had to catch a bus to the terminal from whence my flight to Portland would be leaving. In Dulles, nice shiny bright Dulles, if you had to leave one terminal, there were many signs telling you where to go and what to do. In LaGuardia, apparently you’re just supposed to KNOW that if you go wandering out to the front of the terminal you’ll eventually stumble upon a bus that will SOME DAY get you where you need to go.

The surprised look that the United agent in Dulles gave me when I was willing to fly through LaGuardia makes SO much sense now. With the entire motherfucking internet as my witness, I will never fly through LaGuardia again. FUCK YOU, LAGUARDIA.

(And now I’ll never be able to get another flight that does NOT go through LaGuardia, right?)

I found my gate, and then the gate agent announced that there was going to be a delay – the plane I was supposed to fly out on hadn’t arrived yet, and it’d only be a ten minute delay.

Which is when I realized that I’d died and for my many sins during my lifetime was doomed to wander the airports of America, always thinking I was juuuust about to arrive at my destination, but never actually getting there.

To my surprise, they did board the plane about ten minutes late. The plane pushed back from the gate. And we spent 45 minutes inching along. AND THEN the pilot announced that there were 20 planes ahead of us, and it’d probably be another 45 minutes.

And then we left. And I arrived. And Debbie picked me up, dropped me off in Brunswick to pick up my rental car. I went over to her house to see Brian, then I headed over to my parents’ house, greeted them, ate ham Italian sandwiches from the Kitty Korner, struggled mightily to stay awake until 7, talked to Fred for ten minutes, and then slept like the dead for 12 hours.

Thus ended the first two days of my vacation. And when one of your days of vacation gets all fucked up by travel delays, the rest of the vacation flies by like the wind, believe you me.

To be continued…

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Newt’s glad to have me home. Fred just doesn’t do Snackin’! Time! right. He told me so!

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Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: No Mister Boogers.
2006: No entry.
2005: Oh, the hilarity that ensues when your car and foster kitten have the same name! I could almost hear the laugh track in the background.
2004: PMS, anyone?
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001:No entry.
2000: Charmed life, have I mentioned?

6/19/09 – Friday

So yes, I am home again! My flight landed at 9:40, and by noon I had unpacked, gone to get groceries, gone to the post office, and scooped the litter boxes. I made dinner, I vacuumed the house, I ignored the fact that the bathrooms need to be cleaned and the furniture needs to be … Continue reading “6/19/09 – Friday”

It was like I’d never left, really.

If I have anything to say about it, I will only fly early-morning flights from here on out. It was nice to reach my destination before 10 am, and even if one of my flights had been delayed, they would have had all day to get me on another flight. Besides, when your flight is first thing in the morning (I had to get up yesterday morning at 3:30 to leave the house by 4:00, to get to the airport before 5:00) you don’t have to sit around and wait for it to be time to leave, right? Right!

It was freakin’ cold in Maine, and even though I looked at weather.com before I packed, being in 90+ degree heat in Alabama makes you think that temperatures in the 60s in Maine is perfect capri and shorts weather. I wore a pair of jeans on the plane and packed nothing but capris and shorts. I ended up wearing the same pair of jeans the entire time I was in Maine (washed ’em every other day, of course). It actually wasn’t so bad – I told my mother before I left that next time I visit I’ll pack two pairs of jeans and three shirts and underwear, and call it good enough.

(I’m sure I’ll have forgotten that wise idea next time, though. I always do.)

With the heat index yesterday, it was over 100 degrees here. (That’s VERY FUCKING HOT is all you Celcius types need to know.)

Thanks, you guys, for the heads-up on the Zicam recall. The problem is with the nasal spray and nasal swabs, and the kind I got was the chewable kind. It seems to be helping – I haven’t developed a full-blown cold in any case, just feel achy and tired and like my glands are swollen, and who the hell knows – that could be from the traveling and the horrific temperature change. We shall see.

Today I’m doing laundry, and I have to go get a few more groceries. I was going to weed the tomatoes this morning, but I’m not gonna (shaddup, Fred), I’ve got too much other stuff I prefer to do. This afternoon I’m going to pick up the foster kittens from the foster mother who cared for them while I was gone. I can’t wait to see the little monkeys!

So I’ll answer a few comments and call it an entry!

Oh, and there’ll be a few days of my vacation recap next week, then things will go back to normal ’round here.

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I have to give you kudos for pressure canning at all; I’m of the belief that I’d blow myself to kingdom come, so I’ll stick to jamming and call it a day.

I was very nervous to try it, but I have to say – once you try it, you find out it’s honestly not that hard at all! If I can do it without blowing up the house, so can anyone else. I guarantee it!

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Tell Fred to count his blessings. My daughter risked her life, running onto a busy 4-lane highway, to save a turtle. He thanked her by peeing on her. In case you’ve ever wondered, turtle pee is some noxious stuff.

Yeah, Fred’s been peed on by a turtle, too. And a few weeks ago – the week before that turtle came wandering into our yard – we were going somewhere and there was a turtle in the middle of the road. He stopped to move it to the side of the road and it snapped at him, and I think he got turtle poop smeared on his hand. Whatever it was, it was NASTY smelling. Fucking turtles. (Won’t stop him from saving the next turtle he sees, I guarantee it!)

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I can’t believe that you teased me by bragging about your new hair cut and color and didn’t include a photo.

It wasn’t intentional – I just used the medium-brown color, and it came out… medium brown! Like so:

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I did it! I had a bitchypoo dream! I was visiting you on Crooked Acres and it was raining, I think because all of your posts lately talk about rain, and you took me outside to sit on the porch at dusk to see the real secret of Crooked Acres which was….. hundreds of cats (that all come trotting home at dusk apparently…) that you were not blogging about because you didn’t want us readers to think you were weird enough to have more that 10 cats (even in my dream I was thinking Too Late! inside my head.) You were going on and on about this one’s name and that one’s personality and where that one came from and how you even had to edit some of the pictures that you posted to crop the secret cats out of the pics you posted so NO ONE WOULD KNOW! So tell me, dream or prophesy?

Oh, I’d never ever withhold information from my readers. Never ever. Nope, not me!

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Oh, you ARE writing! The last post I got on my Bloglines feed was the camera pic of the tent… and then I come here and there is more. Why you hide? Us internet peoples are totally friendly. And not at all intense or weird or stalkery. Anyway, I am now subscribed to three feeds of yours; two are broked (technical term) and the third (which is your 0.92 feed up thataways) works but is short posts not long. I don’t know why any of this is and instead I will sit here hopefully with big eyes in the sure knowledge that Fred will SPRING upon this problem and FIX IT GOOD. Right? Right?

Those of you who read me via Bloglines, are you seeing this? The only thing I did before I left for Maine was to change the settings on my site so that the last 5 entries would show up on the front page rather than the most recent one. I just went back and put it back the way it was – I don’t know if that fixed it or not, though. And I don’t know why only short posts are showing up, either – I have it set so that the RSS feeds will show the entire post. It’s a mystery to me!

I can tell you that everything’s working fine in Google Reader.

And Fred won’t spring upon the problem and fix it, because Fred’s not the go-to guy when it comes to RSS feeds and such (probably because he doesn’t care about that stuff and fondly remembers the days when everything was hand-coded and he had to walk uphill both ways to get to the computer).

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Hey, does the LL Bean place have their bamboo towels? I love love love them and desperately need new ones.

I’m trying to remember, but I honestly don’t think I ventured into the house section of the outlet store, so I don’t know. They had just about everything else – I carried around a leather purse for the longest time before I put it back because I refuse to spend $89 for a purse!

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That is AWESOME what the hair-cutting place is doing. Good on them! But, what is proof of unemployment down there? We have EI here (or, pogey as they used to call it!) but – what does the states have?

That’s an excellent question – I’m assuming that people who are drawing Unemployment down here get some sort of statement? Or something? Anyone know the answer to this?

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I am so close to the Spud that if she acts up, I can be sent over there to smack her around a little. hee hee.

Don’t tempt me! 🙂

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Hey you were in my neck of the woods. Haven’t seen the sign at Emerald Square yet…did you hit the Providence Place Mall while you were here..it’s HUGE…

We didn’t get a chance to visit the Providence Place Mall this time around, though the spud did mention it, and that it’s huge. Maybe next time I go down to get her, I’ll spend the night and we can actually do some sight-seeing. I’d love to go back to Newport and Middletown to see how it’s changed over the past 13 years.

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Hey Robyn, you do have a water view at Crooked Acres. But only when it rains.

Ain’t THAT the truth. Too bad we don’t have a pool, we’d have a water view year-round! (This is the first summer I’m really, really wishing we had a pool!)

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Welcome home, Robyn. I, for one, am relieved. Things just didn’t seem right without you in residence at Crooked Acres. I’m sure Fred would agree. Speaking of Fred, when are we going to get a new picture of him? Has he suddenly become camera shy? We have kitty, pig and chicken pics galore (which I love), and even the occasional teaser shot of you, but NO FRED. Hmph.

I think Fred would agree with you – his life kind of goes to shit when I’m away, we’ve discovered. He had to do all his work and mine too – and he finds he doesn’t care for having to make his own dinner, do his own laundry, scoop the litter boxes, clean the house.

When I talked to him on the phone the night before I came home, he said “I hope you aren’t under the impression you’re coming home to a clean house.” I wasn’t. But it only took me a few hours to clean the kitchen and vacuum, and just that little bit of cleaning makes it look about 200 times better around here. Fred says I’m his egg-selling good luck charm. He sold 7 dozen eggs in the entire time I was gone – and yesterday between the two of us, we sold 11 dozen eggs!

This is probably about as much as you’ll see of Fred these days. He refuses to pose for pictures because he’s a hater.

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My parents don’t have any cats, but they’ve got them a Benji dog and he’s a character.

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Previously
2008: You’re breeding bacteria that is going to TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD.
2007: Since it’s wet outside, I don’t have to weed today. DARN.
2006: I hate that fucker.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Then, I stopped and thought about it, which hurt a little.
2002: I was an errand-running fool today.
2001: You always know you’re going to have a nice, clean system the next day if you’ve eaten you a big ol’ helpin’ of okra.
2000: Oh, that’s right. That was my bright idea.

6-17-09

Today, I spent the morning and early afternoon with Debbie. We returned my rental car, and then went to Bath. I’m looking for a stone-washed or pigment-dyed hooded sweatshirt, and she thought they might have one in Bath. We looked at Reny’s, but had no luck. We checked out the drugstore – I always like to look around in there – browsed at Magnolia, but in the end all I bought was some catnip bags (that’s right, 10,000 catnip bags is NOT enough, we can always use more) and a t-shirt.

I appear to be getting the spud’s cold, which means that I will likely infect an entire planeload of people tomorrow, and if I’m truly lucky I’ll get Fred sick when I get home, too. We stopped and I bought some Zicam (don’t know if it’s working yet), then we went over to Fashion Bug, where I bought some new underwear since they were having a pretty good sale.

I looked around in the bookstore, and then we had lunch at Fat Boy. (When I told my father where we’d eaten lunch, he said “Lobster roll?” and I said “Is there anything else?” Their lobster roll is FABULOUS.)

We went to Bath & Body Works, then over to the Hallmark store, and then back to her house for a bit before Brian took me back to my parents’ house.

I hung out there for the afternoon (thought about taking a nap, but never did), then we met up with Brian in Brunswick for chinese food at our favorite buffet. After, Brian went off to take a nap before work (he’s busybusybusy) and my parents and I went down to visit my oldest brother, Tracy, and his daughter Mireya.

(Tracy has a gorgeous house with a water view. I am jealous, believe me. If only I had a water view from Crooked Acres. That would be perfect!)

We stayed and chatted for a while, then headed home. I have to get up at 3:30 tomorrow morning, so I’m about to head off to bed. Since my flight leaves so early, I’m hoping there’ll be no travel delays. If I get stuck in Dulles again, though, I totally expect one of you to come get me!

(Not really.)

I don’t remember where I saw these, but they cracked me right up.

Half price haircuts for the unemployed (Emerald Square Mall, Massachusetts)

My dream car.

6-16-09

A better pic of the coasters I considered buying, but didn’t. This morning, my mother and I did some shopping in Windham (see the funny coasters, above). We ate lunch at Maine Bean… Lobster rolls. YUM. (Pardon the pic taken with my phone. I didn’t want to dig the camera out of my purse.) We … Continue reading “6-16-09”

A better pic of the coasters I considered buying, but didn’t.

This morning, my mother and I did some shopping in Windham (see the funny coasters, above). We ate lunch at Maine Bean…

Lobster rolls. YUM. (Pardon the pic taken with my phone. I didn’t want to dig the camera out of my purse.)

We went from Windham to Freepot and hit LL Bean. I wanted to get a few more Sunwashed 3/4-sleeve tees (and I did), and I wanted to look at their bags and perhaps buy one (I looked, but didn’t buy any), and I wanted to get some SmartWool socks (but looked at them and gasped when I saw the unbelievable price, decided the $2 socks I got from Target are perfectly fine, and ran away from the socks before they tainted me with their expensiveness.).

We went to the outlet store and I looked at another bag, decided it was ridiculous to spend THAT much money on a bag, and didn’t buy it.

Tonight, my parents went out to eat with their friends, and I went to Applebee’s with Liz. We both had the same thing, steak and shrimp.

Then we had dessert.

Which ended up being kind of a waste, because I think we each ate about three bites and were done.

Since my beloved Bookland has closed, we went over to Borders, where I stocked up on magazines for the flight home (I’m leaving very early Thursday morning) and a couple of books. Best part, they were handing out sheets of coupons that gave me $2 off EACH magazine I bought AND $2 off each book I bought. Bargain!

We hung out a while longer, then I came home and called Fred.

Now I’m off to bed. G’night!