RHOAtlanta – Bitchypoo

11-7-08

This is totally me: & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & How good are you at “eyeballing” stuff? (I sucked pretty badly, though I’m pretty good at figuring out where the middle of things are.) (Thanks to Katherine for both those.) … Continue reading “11-7-08”

This is totally me:

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How good are you at “eyeballing” stuff? (I sucked pretty badly, though I’m pretty good at figuring out where the middle of things are.)

(Thanks to Katherine for both those.)

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Go here and type in commands to see the cute dog obey them (make sure you type in “dance” and “kiss”, it’s pretty funny). (Thanks to Elaine for the link!)

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Love love LOVE that Shep. (Thanks to Fred for the link, and also for sharing my love for Shep.)

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Printer won’t work? This might be why… (Thanks to several people for the link!)

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Real Housewives of Atlanta; skip to the next section if you’re not interested!

So, Kim cannot sing. AT ALL. The voice coach put it as nicely as possible without actually saying the words “Kim? You could not carry a tune if Big Papa bought you a gold-plate $15,000 bucket to put it in.” And Kim’s reaction? THE VOICE COACH IS NIT-PICKING. Good god. And did you see Dallas Austin’s face when Kim was singing? I know he was thinking “Big Papa, YOU OWE ME.” My god, her voice was horrible. And I WANTED to be proven wrong, but girlfriend cannot sing. CANNOT. She can be all “I sing, because I’m a singer!” (or whatever the hell she said) all she wants, but she needs to confine that voice to the shower and not attempt to inflict it upon the world. There’s only so damn much magic they can do in the studio! Also, voice coach is SO RIGHT. Kim sings through her nose and it’s horrific.

Did DeShawn really say that she and whatshisface have been married ten years? I had no idea – I thought they were newlyweds! And I can’t believe he gave her some expensive-ass watch for her birthday and she was all “Well, I can’t wear this tonight, I’m wearing silver!” Are ya KIDDING me? RUDE. How long does it take to change your jewelry? DeShawn and her husband (his name is Eric, I just went and looked) are so stiff and awkward around each other. I suspect it’s having the cameras right there – being on camera seems to make him VERY uncomfortable. And how come we never ever ever see their kids?

I actually kind of felt sorry for NeNe, because I’m sure she never expected the “song” to blow up in her face like that. Also, is it just me, or does she appear to be drinking wine 24 hours a day? She was PLASTERED in that limo, and I think everyone but DeShawn wished she’d just shut up. Anyone think Lisa DIDN’T tell Kim about the whole thing? Very disapproving, wasn’t she?

I don’t know that Sheree has got a whole lot of room to talk about NeNe talking about Kim behind her back, given that Sheree talked a WHOLE lot of smack about NeNe not so long ago.

Man, I need to start taking notes when I watch this show. I know there was more I wanted to mention, but I can’t think of anything else! What’d I miss, y’all?

Oh! The guacamole! Really, Kim? You’re (cough) 29 years old and you don’t know what guacamole is? And then she was horrified that they mixed it up in a big stone, like it was unsanitary. Gosh, it’s too bad restaurants don’t have any way to sanitize their big guacamole-making rocks or anything, DUMBASS.

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My, Miz Poo is a bit…portly….or is that just the angle of the first photo?

No, it’s not the angle. I’m not kidding when I say she’s a portly Poo. The vet tech said Miz Poo isn’t actually obese, but she’s a big chunk of a cat. She weighs just under 11 pounds, if I recall correctly. That’s about what Sugarbutt weighs, but he’s pretty muscular, and she’s a shorter cat than he is, so she’s got the spread going on.

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Happy anniversary. Your second picture up there reminded me of this one.

I LOVE that series of school ID pictures.

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I think you should add a new cat for every anniversary.

I’d be afraid that such a move would lead to their being no more anniversaries!

(Don’t you love how I act like it’s all my fault that we have ten cats? But it isn’t ME who lobbied for the adoption of the last three we kept!)

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Just to defend calico cats – I have a 19 yr old calico who has been sick twice in her life, had one dental, and otherwise has only been to the vet for shots. She’s getting very old, but as far as I can tell that’s the only thing that’s wrong with her even now.

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You know, I love and adore Miz Poo because I’ve been reading about her for years and years, but I don’t think you can blame the vet bills on her being a tri-colour cat. I have a calico (a true calico with bright patches of colour – not a torti), and I think over the course of her 20 years of life she’s cost me about $2000 in vet bills, total (including being spayed, a couple of intestinal things, vaccinations – which she’s only gotten a couple of times in her life, etc)

Fred says it’s not that Miz Poo’s a tri-color that’s the issue, it’s that she’s just a defective cat!

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I really love my Electrolux EL1000A2 stick vac! It’s sleek, works VERY well, is pretty (which is important to me since it sits out while charging), and hasn’t let me down yet!

That IS a very pretty little stick vac.

You know, if I truly loved all y’all, I’d go out and buy these vacuums you’re recommending and try them out and report back on which is the best.

(Except Fred would kill me.)

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Happy Anniversary… I saw this article today and thought of your double-egg incident! Seems these things are international news now!!

It’s funny what makes the news, isn’t it? (Also, those Japanese are COPYCATS!)

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Please let us know what you think about “Dewey“. It sounds like a good read.

It was a VERY good read – I cried like a baby at the end! The descriptions of Dewey made me laugh out loud several times, it was definitely a good book and certainly worth the read. Four stars!

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Do you watch Celebrity Rehab? A most delicious trainwreck!

I watched the first season, but I haven’t seen any of this season. I need to set up to tape them, because I was hooked on the first season (also, I think Dr. Drew is cuuuuuuuute.).

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We didn’t have the ladybug trouble until about 4 years ago. When they first swarmed and made us hostages in our own home I thought they were the good ladybugs and hated to kill them. Those suckers are a different kind of bug and they bite the sh*t out of you. Our neighbor down the road said the Forestry Agency said that the bugs had been brought in to kill one pest and had ended up taking over. Our neighbor forgot the name of the bug but said that most indoor outdoor sprays would kill them.

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Are you sure they are ladybugs and not Mexican bean beetles? Mexican bean beetles are considered a pest because they eat plants.

I believe they’re actually Asian Lady Beetles, because the ones I’ve looked closely at have the right markings.

Several people mentioned that since ladybugs eat aphids, they never kills ladybugs. Which is a nice sentiment, I suppose, but I’m not kidding when I say that I vacuumed up over 1,000 of them over the course of last weekend. They come in around the windows and spread through the house. If they came in and headed for the attic to hibernate, it’d be one thing, but they get in EVERYTHING, including beds, food, and the kittens’ water bowl. I’m not having it.

Luckily, the better part of the influx seems to be over, though we occasionally get one flying across the room or hanging out near the ceiling. A handful of them, I can handle. A thousand? Not so much.

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Don’t some places SELL ladybugs, as garden helpers (like commenter J said, they eat a certain type of pest)? Maybe you could collect them and make a side business out of it! (Oh, I just checked on ebay, and 1500 live ladybugs only goes for $12.99.) Would the chickens like them? How about ladybug and jalapeno jam?

I actually read that you can vacuum them up, freeze them, and then put them in your garden the next Spring, and they’ll live through the experience. I’ll have to consider doing that next year, but I’ll have to resist using the hand vacuum to catch wasps, because those things I do NOT want around.

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They’re supposed to be repelled by the smell of lemons. Maybe if you sprayed your window and door frames with the diluted juice?

I’m actually planning to give this a try next year. If it doesn’t work, at least it’ll smell nice when we walk by the windows, right? And if it DOES work, I won’t have to spend a weekend scrubbing ~~ladybug~~ asian lady beetle goo (they leave goo behind, did you know that?) off every window and window frame in the house.

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Did I miss something? When did Kara move in for good?

Several of you have asked this. The announcement was here, and the longer entry about it was here.

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I have a random-ass question for Friday. What color are the Anderson cats’ toe pads? I know you lurve kitty toes as much as I do…

I would take a picture of all their toes for you, but my helper’s already left for work, so descriptions will have to do.

Black toes: Tommy, Maxi, Kara.

Gray toes: Mister Boogers.

Pink toes: Spanky, Newt, Sugarbutt, Joe Bob.

Black and pink: Miz Poo.

Undetermined: Stinkerbelle (I can’t get a good look at her toes, but will report in the future.)

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Loved those polls! The chicken hat, without a doubt, was overly persuasive and I just had to vote for Mr. Cullen. Who was his running mate?

No running mates this time around – but keep an eye out in mid-2012 for a much fancier campaign.

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Did you happen to catch Ellen’s Halloween show? I finally watched it last night and the clips of her scaring people made me laugh and laugh.

I haven’t seen it yet, but after I watch Grey’s Anatomy here in a little while, I’m going to go over to YouTube and catch up on Ellen!

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CAT “comedy!!!” (Say in Jesse Joyce’s voice.) Thanks for talking about KATG on your site. I always assumed it was a local radio station from your area. When Hubby got me a Ipod last Xmas, I thought I would look for KATG on itunes. What a great way to laugh away my doldrums.

I LOVE Jesse Joyce, especially when he gets nit-picky. He’s such a bitch about some things, he cracks me up.

Also, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – I LOVE Keith and the Girl. They always crack me up.

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You could be a new superhero: Super Scoop!

I meant to get Fred to take a picture of me in a badass gangsta position, but completely forgot. Next time!

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Mister Boogers looks giant in that picture where he’s in front of you.

It’s the angle. He’s a pretty average-size cat, though his het does make him look bigger.

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If you’re looking for additional uses for other things, we use the bucket on my dad’s loader for all sorts of things. I climb in it and my dad raises it up so I can clean out the gutters at their house. He’s also boosted me waaaaay up to fix the roof on the owl house in the highest tree on the property. However, I will not go near the bucket when my brother is driving the tractor. I have a feeling he’d send the bucket as high as it would go and then wander off (on purpose) for a day or two.

There’s a tree in the back yard that has a web of those worms on it (I can’t think of what they’re called, but y’all know what I mean? A big web forms and then worms come out of it and eat the hell out of your tree?) and I’ve told Fred that he needs to bring the tractor into the back yard and lift me up so I can cut that branch down and burn it.

I suspect if I get myself lifted up in the bucket of the tractor in the future, there will be pictures taken.

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And when you told Fred that you wanted him to take a bunch of pictures with you doing things with scoop hands, he didn’t think you were crazy?!

Nah, he usually goes along with whatever I need him to take pictures of, though sometimes he grumbles about being pulled away from what he’s doing. This time he informed me that I have too much time on my (SCOOP) hands and perhaps I need a hobby.

Um. I HAVE a hobby, and it’s called bitchypoo.com! DUH.

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I love how you look completely confounded and frustrated by the picking of carrots, just like the infomercials.

“You flip, and they flop!” *Woman looking frustrated and overwhelmed by the flipping of pancakes*

“Love pasta, but hate draining the hot water?” How do you separate pasta from water?

Fred said “Now, scowl!” and I did, and then he laughed and snapped the picture. I can scowl with the best of ’em!

I have to ask, y’all, what’s the big deal with pasta draining? Why are there so many tools to drain pasta? Is it really that big of an issue, to dump the pasta into a colander? That’s what I usually do, but am I doing it wrong? Do I really need a tool especially made for draining pasta?

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Just think of how fast you could swim with those on! lol

I bet I’d totally make it to the Olympics with those things (though somehow I suspect the Olympics are anti SCOOP HANDS). Hmmm. Maybe I should take on the English Channel with SCOOP HANDS!

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There is a neat site that displays the front pages of tons of newspapers. The link takes you there, but it’ll be for today’s date. You can switch to November 5th to see the post-election pages.

How neat is that! Thanks for the link!

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I was reading past entries (sometimes those “previously” snippets pull me in), so now I must know. The spud had a brown hamster and a gray hamster 8 years ago that were “getting jiggy with it.” Did you end up with hamster babies or were they both male, like the pet store guy said they were???

Oh no, they were NOT both male like that fucking pet store guy said they were. One of them was female, and we ended up with a litter (?) of hamsters, which I wrote about here. I wrote here about persuading Fred to let the spud keep two of the baby hamsters (with the idea of keeping a female in the cage with the mother and a male in the cage with the father). Then, when the baby hamsters were about a month old, we took all of them back to the pet store at the spud’s request. And the mother hamster was pregnant again already.

Apparently I didn’t take a single picture of the baby hamsters. Good GOD things have changed – these days, it’d be all hamster pictures all the time until y’all begged for mercy!

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where did you get that bird bath/watering thing? I love it and *must* have one for my backyard!

At the Country Store Catalog site, here to be exact. I have two of those bird baths, one hanging on the front porch and one hanging in the side yard, and I LOVE them. They’re not the most gorgeous bird baths/ waterers around, but they’re easy to clean and they hold a lot of water and the birds really seem to like them. The squirrels too, for that matter.

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I think you should shorten Maxi “Outside Mama”‘s name to Maxi Omama.

Hmm. Maxi Omama And3rson. Kind of has a ring to it, no?

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I know you read the books, but have you seen this?

Oh man – how neat would it be to have Stanley J. Boogerton – or Crooked Acres! – in a Charlaine Harris novel? The bidding’s already up to $870, which is way too pricey for my blood, but if anyone wants to bid on Mister Boogers’ behalf, go for it!

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The kittens are continuing to do well. They had the run of the entire upstairs yesterday, and when I went up to hang out with them in the evening, Kara followed me up because she just loves to hang out in my bedroom. She ran into my bedroom and apparently Marion was in there, on the bed, and Kara sniffed at her and Marion hissed and flew out of my room and into the kitten room.

Delmar and Lem were snoozing on their cat tree, but I didn’t see Claudette anywhere, so I went looking for her. When I walked into my bedroom, I saw her scoot out from under my bed, into the closet, where she hid behind some boxes. I picked her up and she allowed that for a few minutes, then fought for me to put her down. When I did, she flew into the kitten room.

I went into the kitten room and all the kittens glared at me from atop the cat tree, but as soon as I sat down, they all came over for love and petting. They’re getting friendlier every day – Claudette actually demanded that I pet her yesterday. She purrs so loud. It’s hard to believe that volume of sound is coming from such a little thing!

A few more pics at L&H.

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Kara LOVES being outside.

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Previously
2007: I nominate Fred to do all the slaughtering himself.
2006: Questions answered.
2005: This makes me want to wrap my child in bubble wrap and lock her in her room until she’s 35.
2004: No entry.
2003: Meme.
2002: “How fucking much is that goddamn bread? A dollar ninety-fucking-five? Okay, put a couple of the motherfuckers in my cart, would you, fuckwad?”
2001: I briefly considered making a citizen’s arrest.
2000: (ie, “It’s all the fault of that fat bitch you married!”)
1999: I woke this morning at 2:30ish, feeling something wasn’t quite right.

10/30/08

So, I couldn’t get online before I left for the pet store this morning, so I reacted like a great big baby and had a temper tantrum and posted some pictures via Flickr. You got to see me whine about my internet being down, whine about the sun in my eyes on the way to … Continue reading “10/30/08”

Who says it’s unexciting around here?!

If you ever check this site and see a crappy camera phone picture posted via Flickr, you can assume it’s because my goddamn internet is down AGAIN and the only way I can post is via Flickr (did I mention that Flickr ROCKS?).

I think if I’m going to be posting camera phone pictures, I need a phone that takes better pictures. Dontchathink?

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I belong to Goodreads, and every so often one of you ask to be my Goodreads BFF, and of course I’m happy to add you as a friend, even though I’m horribly bad at keeping up with adding the books I’ve read to my list.

But what really annoys me is when someone requests to be added as a Goodreads friend for the sole goddamn purpose of spamming me because they’ve written some shitty book and think because I read books, I’ll want to read the poorly-written book they’re flogging.

Hint: throwing extra adjectives into a book summary doesn’t actually make it sound more interesting. It makes it sound like it was written by a fifth grader with a thesaurus in hand.

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Do not cry for Miz Poo, y’all. She is being babied and given the full Princess treatment, to the max. Yesterday morning when I walked into the guest bedroom, she was hanging out in the cubby of the bedside table. I carried her out into the living room with me and we watched The Real Housewives of Atlanta (more on that in a moment), and I took the cone collar off her and scratched her ears and around her neck until she drooled. And then she slept for a long time, and demanded more scratching, and more drooling ensued. I eventually put her back in the guest bedroom so I could go out and touch up the paint on the new chicken coop (when I’m not around to keep an eye on her, I put her in the guest bedroom so the other cats won’t harass her), and then I spent another couple of hours on the couch with her in the afternoon. When I don’t actually have her in my lap, I put the no-cone collar on her. She hasn’t actually shown any interest in licking or biting at the drain or her stitches, but I’d hate to leave her alone and come back to find that she’d pulled the drain out.

Pardon me while I shudder at the idea.

She was a lot more bright-eyed and with-it yesterday morning than she’d been the night before, but we’ve got her on the pain medication so she’s still pretty doped up and sleeps a lot. I think the pain medication is doing a good job, because she doesn’t appear to be in any pain.

Last night when we sat down to watch TV, we took her collar off. She sat on a pillow on my lap for two and a half hours, and she cleaned herself for about two hours and twenty minutes of that time. She did try to lick at her stitches and drain, but I stopped her every time, and she’d look at me like “THIS IS MY BODY I WILL DO WHAT I WANT I HATE YOU WILL YOU SCRATCH MY EARS PLEASE?”

She’ll be fine – don’t worry about my baby, I’ll keep her spoiled rotten.

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Real Housewives of Atlanta (skip to the next section if you’re not interested!)

Honest to god, I kind of thought that they’d hype DeShawn’s gala event as being a big flop only so they could jump out of the closet and scream SURPRISE! when all of a sudden the bidding started and DeShawn managed to bring one million and ONE dollars in for her foundation. But holy cripes, what a flop. I thought she was kind of uninformed and naive about how to run a gala, but I ended up feeling sorry for her because of the HUGE flop it turned out to be. They ended up spending $20,000 more on putting the gala ON than they made!

I’m curious why that one woman made a point of asking if LeBron James (I don’t know sports, but even I recognize the name) was going to be there, acted all excited that there’d be some sort of LeBron-centric package being auctioned off, and then pointedly didn’t bid.

When DeShawn was looking for Mark Hayes, I thought she was looking for some guy named Marques. Heh.

When Kim decided to buy that diamond cuff at the gala and she was all “I have to call Big Poppa and tell him I bought this!”, I assume that was a call that went along the lines of “Big Poppa, listen to what you just bought me with the credit card you gave me!”

(By the way, if you’re curious, the word on the web seems to be that “Big Poppa” is married real estate developer Lee Najjar, whoever the hell that is. I don’t know that I’d consider him a “celebrity” as Kim said in the first show, but then I’m not part of the Atlanta social scene, so maybe he’s a celebrity in Atlanta.)

Am I getting this right? Lisa was going to a trunk show to showcase her jewelry, and she and a bunch of friends were sitting around MAKING the jewelry? Because I don’t actually think of jewelry at Macy’s being stringed together by a bunch of people at a kitchen table – but then I’m also not really Macy’s target jewelry (or “JOOORY”, as everyone on this damn show pronounces it) demographic either, so what do I know? (I think Lisa is absolutely gorgeous, by the way, but I prefer her hair curly to straight.)

You know, Kim’s insistence on continually telling Sheree how beautiful she is, is just weird and I think even Sheree was getting uncomfortable with all the smoke Kim was blowing up her ass.

There’s going to be some DRAMA next week, looks like. NeNe doesn’t back down from confrontation, so it should be something to see.

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Pictures from around Crooked Acres:

Kara’s assimilation into the Crooked Acres Gang is just about complete. You can’t see it in this picture, but she’s wearing a collar. She LOVES to be outside, and she’s mostly got the hang of the cat door. When she goes outside, she flops down at the bottom of the steps and rolls around. At night, when the door is closed, she tries to lead us to the door every time we head in that direction. I’m sure she’ll understand eventually that night time means no going outside.

Hello, Fall.

We call these three the Three Musketeers. In the few days since I took this picture, they actually got too big to squeeze through the fence, but for a while there they were spending all their time in the side yard cleaning up under the bird feeders.

These girls sure do flop down and sleep hard. Sometimes we have to call them several times before they wake up.

These two have suddenly started flying up and hanging out on top of the gate between the chicken yard and the back yard. Makes me wonder if we’ve got another couple of roosters on our hands.

Hawk, checking out the chickens.

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I told Fred yesterday that if I had the naming to do over again, I’d name him Dr. Google instead of Delmar. At least once a day I get the once-over from him. He sniffs my nostrils, my eyes and my breath before he decides that I continue to be healthy. And then he gives me an arm massage before he flops down for petting. He’s part-physician, part-masseuse, ALL lovebug!

The kittens got over being mad at me for taking them off to the scary place pretty quickly – yesterday afternoon Delmar, Marion and Lem all crowded around me and climbed on me, head-butted me for petting, and then complained when I wasn’t quick enough with the petting. They’re so demanding.

Tonight they get their vaccinations, and I expect in the next few days, if they’re interested, I’ll let them out to roam the house. I’ve let Kara in the kitten room to visit with them a few times. She hisses at them and puffs up, but they just look at her like, “What’s YOUR problem?” Our cats might have freaked them out initially, but now they’re not scared at all when Kara or Tommy or Mister Boogers pokes their head into the room.

Claudette continues to be a scaredy cat. It’s like she wants to be friendly, but she’s just too scared to come over for petting. It seems like tortis are always either terrified little scaredy cats, or completely nuts.

(Well, I suppose that goes for ALL cats, really, doesn’t it?)

I expect that she’ll come around eventually, and when she gives in to her deep-down desire to be a snugglebug, she’ll really be a sight to behold.

“Whyyyyyyyy are you not petting me right now? Whyyyyyyyyyy?”

More pics over at L&H.

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Stinkerbelle would like you all to know that those of you who pointed out that she’s no longer a “little thing” can KISS HER ASS.

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Previously
2007: “Jesus christ, LENNY. I’m not going to PET THE DEAD SQUIRREL.”
2006: Isn’t it nice that I named cats that aren’t mine?
2005: No entry.
2004: List of fives.
2003: (Also, Nance called me “nice.” That bitch!)
2002: But I don’t guess that introspection is the forte of that particular diva.
2001: Who tells stories about you?
2000: This morning, red and goopy.
1999: (Side note: I did nothing, and that just pisses me off. I wish I could go back and smack the shit out of that jerk. I hope his life is hellish).

10-15-08

At Sam’s Club yesterday, I discovered that you can buy a 105-ounce can of tomato sauce for ONE DOLLAR AND SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS. Given the amount of time and effort expended on the pints of tomato sauce I ended up with, made from tomatoes grown in our own garden, by all rights tomato sauce should cost … Continue reading “10-15-08”

At Sam’s Club yesterday, I discovered that you can buy a 105-ounce can of tomato sauce for ONE DOLLAR AND SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS.

Given the amount of time and effort expended on the pints of tomato sauce I ended up with, made from tomatoes grown in our own garden, by all rights tomato sauce should cost at LEAST one hundred and seventy-five dollars for 105 ounces.

If I can go to Sam’s and buy that much tomato sauce for that little cash, you can bet your Aunt Fanny that I will NEVER make my own tomato sauce again. EVER. Because my time is valuable (to me, at least) and that is just some bullshit.

I don’t even CARE how those tomatoes were treated, they could have been factory-raised in substandard soil and sprayed with poison that was subsequently only brushed off before processing, they could have been mocked and abused and called names and cried silent tears of terror every night at bedtime and chomped upon by all manner of bugs before they were mercifully slaughtered and put out of their misery, for ONE DOLLAR AND SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS for a huge-ass can, I am THERE, I am buying that shit.

Which is not to say that I’m not raising tomatoes next year – you bet your ass I am, and I’ll even can them diced or crushed or even whole, but I’m totally not bothering with trying to make my own tomato sauce. My time is valuable, yo!

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So, speaking of Sam’s, I don’t think I’ve mentioned the fact that, ten years after I first got my membership (through Fred’s company, which is where I was working at the time; I still get a membership through his business) I discovered that my membership is a “Gold Key” membership. You’d think that if I have a Gold Key membership that “Gold Key” would be printed somewhere on the card, but apparently not. Apparently any membership attained through a business is considered a Gold Key membership, and you’re just supposed to know that sort of thing.

What are the advantages, you might ask, to a Gold Key membership? So far as I can tell, the one and only advantage is that Gold Key members get extended shopping hours. While the commoners have to wait until 10:00 during the week to shop at Sam’s, we high-and-mighty Gold Keyers get to begin our warehouse shopping at 7:00 if we wish. Take that, unwashed masses!

I mock, but to tell the truth, it’s pretty nice being able to go into Sam’s and shop for what I need before it gets packed and busy with people snatching up the $1.75 cans of tomato sauce and getting in my way. What’s especially nice is knowing that on Thursdays, after I’m done at the pet store, I can run over to Sam’s and get whatever I need, without having to wait until 10:00, like I’ve thought I had to do, all these years.

Sam’s might be the ruination of this nation, but GODDAMN do I love that store.

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Someone asked in my comments whether I’ve checked out the new “Real Housewives” series, this one set in Atlanta. But of course! So far I’ve caught the first episode, and I actually sent an email out about it yesterday that I’m just going to cut and paste here:

Holy COW, I finally watched the Housewives of Atlanta and I just don’t even know where to begin!

NeNe is annoying in that kind of over-the-top shrieky way, but she so didn’t deserve the embarrassment of being kicked out of a party she didn’t belong to!

Sheree is kind of super-intense in a weirdly controlled way. Which is to say that one day, that woman is going to snap, and it’s going to be NASTY. And anyone who is THAT stressed about her birthday party, when she’s supposedly got like five people who are supposed to be in charge of the details is just too much. I mean, I get that she wanted to have a good birthday party, but to apparently have SO much riding on it? What a freak. (I don’t know why she even bothered to invite NeNe, given her utter disdain for the woman!)

I agree that Kim looks a lot like Lori from OC. I suspect that her high-profile boyfriend is probably someone we’ve NEVER heard of and I bet he’s married, too, especially considering the fact that some of her girlfriends have never even met him and don’t know who he is. I like that she was loyal to NeNe and left the party with her, though.

That woman – was it DeShawn? – who hired the “estate manager” to run interference so DeShawn and her husband would never have to deal with the hired help directly just made me roll my eyes. Could you imagine if someone was coming to visit and stay with you, and the ESTATE MANAGER called them and said “Is there anything special you’d like to have available to you?” Hell, I’d be all “Yes, please make sure that I have seven pillows and some extra blankets and also THREE TINY LITTLE FLUFFY PURRING KITTENS, thank you! Also, one million dollars in cash, thanks!”

These houses are just absolutely insane. And the way these women spend money makes me worry for them, I mean it’s their money and all, but I’m thinking “NO, put the thousand-dollar pants back, you don’t need those! The money won’t last forever, girls!”

I love the way the Atlanta wives are just way over the top. I’m going to enjoy watching this show and seeing their crazy drama unfold!!!

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I was sitting on the floor of the kitten room yesterday and I leaned way over to kiss a kitten atop his head (a kitten that was in my lap, by the way!), and I got something that felt very much like a charley horse in my abdomen and I thought I was going to DIE. I had to breathe shallowly and gasp “Ohgod ohgod ohgod” very quietly so I wouldn’t alarm the kittens, and after some breathing and stretching, the muscle let up and I felt perfectly fine.

It sure did hurt like a motherfucker while it lasted, though.

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I broke the monkeys! The boys, at least. When I went into the kitten room yesterday, I’d go over and pet each of them just a little bit, and then I’d go across the room and sit on the floor and talk to them. The girls would just ignore me, but the boys would look at me and meow like “Come back here!” I’d talk and talk to them, then when they’d start to settle down, I’d go back and pet each of them juuuuust a little, just until they were starting to like it, and then off I’d go to the other side of the room.

Lem jumped down off the tree onto the condo (which is right next to the tree) and he hung out next to the condo and eyeballed me and thought about it, but refused to come any closer.

Finally, Delmar was like “FINE!” and jumped down and came over to be petted. After some petting, he and I stretched out on the floor, face-to-face, and he purred and slept a little, and then eventually Lem was like “Hmmm. He seems to be safe over there with her. Maybe I would be safe, too!”, so he came over for petting, though he didn’t stay for long.

My tongue is absolutely in shreds from my biting it so I won’t squeeze them to death. They are SERIOUSLY cute and sweet, these kittens.

Delmar lay next to me on the floor for a long time yesterday afternoon. I said, “You’re going to break my heart, aren’t you?” and he said “That’s my plan, ma’am.”

(More pictures over at Love & Hisses.)

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Smilin’ Joe.

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Previously
2007: if you set foot in Crooked Acres, the law is that you admire not only the And3rson kitties, but also the And3rson fosters.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: Pretty beach pictures!
2003: I’m afraid Miz Poo’s reign as Queen Shit may be coming to a close.
2002: Elvis sneer, zits, weird wiry hair. What next, I ask you?
2001: Cheater entry.
2000: No entry.
1999: Fascinating, isn’t it?!