Category: Crooked Acres

Fred sent me the link to this article last week, and the things I find most amusing about it are (1) I make my own laundry detergent and use vinegar for fabric softener not because it’s cheaper, but because it’s better for the environment and (2) The breathless way they report that she cuts her lotion bottles in half to get the last bits of lotion out of there as if it’s the CRAZIEST, MOST FRUGAL thing they’ve ever heard of. I’ve been cutting my lotion bottles down for years to get the ten tons of lotion left in the bottle and have always just considered it a middle finger toward the lotion companies who think their customers will give up when they can’t easily get the leftover lotion out of the bottle.

I guess I was frugal (I was frugal!) when frugal wasn’t cooooooool.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

When Nance and Rick were here earlier this month, we played Catch Phrase, the game we LOVE (which we can thank Nance and Rick for introducing to us!). If you’ve never played the game, you get a word and have to give your teammates clues so they’ll guess what it is. It’s always a blast.

Anyway, I recorded one of our games, and if you want to know what it’s like when we play, you can hear it here, or right click on that link and download it to your hard drive, if you want. You’ll probably have to crank up your sound, I didn’t use any kind of fancy equipment. It’s me giving the clues first, then Rick, then Fred, then Nance, and so forth.

During one of the games, Rick got “Gene Roddenberry” but then he ran out of time. He shrugged and told Nance she wouldn’t have gotten it anyway, and when she found out it was Gene Roddenberry, she got annoyed (because, as she says, “I absolutely LOATHE nerds that act SUPERIOR about their NERDY ICONS.”). This is why Fred says she’s like a one-woman comedy show, because she was going off and we were all laughing our asses off at her. (She wants y’all to know it wasn’t real anger and not a fight, she just hates that shit.) Fred and I listened to it again last night, and were both laughing so hard we were crying. You can hear that here. (Again, sorry about the poor sound quality.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Michelle admitted:

I have, um *cough cough* 11. But I count your permanent AND your fosters, so you still beat me whenever you have fosters 😉

11 really is the maximum point for us. I think it just depends on the dynamic between the cats, personalities, how much open space you have for them to roam and stake as their territory, etc. They are not fighting, but we do have to break up little bickering-bullying sessions. I think it would be a little calmer if we only had 9 or 10, but when I try to think about who I would give away, it is just too difficult because each one of them adds a unique personality to the household (not to mention every last one of them is spoiled rotten).

As we currently do not have any fosters, Michelle’s got the Crazy Cat Blogger title for the time being!

I would really like to think that we’re going to stay at 10 cats, but I’ll never again say “This is it, we really can’t have more than X cats”, because it always comes back to bite me in the ass. The more cats you have when you add one more to the bunch, the longer the process takes, because the new cat has so many other cats to interact with, and some of them are more hysterical and hissy than others. I think I’ve said it before, but I really think it’s just in the past few months that Joe Bob has found his place in the tribe, which means it took about a year. I do think how nice it would be to have fewer cats sometimes (especially when they all feel the need to escort me from room to room), but I can’t say that I’d like to see any of the rotten little brats go, so I suppose we’re stuck.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Before I started reading you, I had zero cats. Ever, in my life. And my husband hated cats. After reading you for a few years, now we have one cat and we love her, and maybe we might someday think about getting another one. So thank you for that!

You are ENTIRELY welcome, I’m glad to have suckered you in to the cat-owning world!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

And how does one pronounce bhut jolokia?

Myself I pronounce them “What’s the name of those really hot peppers you’re growing this summer, again?”, but according to a page I found on Google (and then closed), it’s pronounced Boot Joe Low Key Ah.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Poor Fred! I’m surprised that he just didn’t leave the “spot” and use the opportunity to spin one of his hilarious stories about it.

He said he thought about taking a picture of it and putting it up on his site with “Goddamn it.” under the picture, but wasn’t sure anyone would get it!

I have worn my hair fairly short for years. Two years ago just before Christmas I went to a shop to get it trimmed. When I told the new hairdresser that she could cut it fairly short in the back, she picked up her electric shears and proceeded to buzz the back of my hair to the point that I couldn’t even get a hold of it! Too astonished to even say anything (what could be done, anyway), I paid for the cut and walked out. I chose to act as though it was precisely what I wanted and the looks and comments of my family at our Christmas get together were very amusing. It did give me the opportunity to stop coloring my hair since the back was mostly white and didn’t match the light beige blonde of the front and sides. Who knows how much longer I would have kept up the coloring? Always look on the bright side!

I told Fred that if I cut my hair really really short, I’d probably stop coloring it, at least for a while, and let the gray come in. (I’m a little relieved that he didn’t make a big stink about it when I backed out of cutting off my hair, to be honest. I’m not ready to go gray!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I watched that video without my headphones on, so maybe I’m missing something with no sound, but that was CREEPY AS HELL.

Awww, it’s Julie through the glass! And her mother’s watching her grow up and you’re supposed to realize how fast they grow up and get all teary-eyed!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The comment on the time your doctor spent with you caught my attention. My sister lives near Huntsville, and she and her husband have been seeing a family practice doctor for 20+ years; even their son went there. Anyway, the last few times they either had appointments, she said the doctor seemed like his @ss was on fire, only spent about 5 minutes total with them. AND even told her husband, when his B.P. was too high, just not to check it very often. Have no idea what’s up with that these days.

This is probably entirely sexist of me, but I’ve found that the female doctors I’ve seen are always willing to spend a little more time with me. Well. Actually, now that I said that, I’m recalling that my weight loss surgery surgeon (did I mention I do not like that guy?) spends more time in the exam room with me than I’d like. If he just popped his head in and said hi and then went along his way, I’d be perfectly happy. But for the most part, the females (my PCP and my gynecologist) will sit and actually look through the chart and ask questions, whereas the majority of the male doctors I see are all “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry.”

I can’t believe that a doctor would react to high blood pressure by telling a patient not to check it very often – that blows my mind!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I seems like I read somewhere, and damned if I know where, that eventually, the loose skin will reabsorb. That it’ll take maybe a few years. Is that true? But where’s the fun in that…!

I think you may have read that on Fred’s site many years ago – I believe that’s what someone (the plastic surgeon? A dermatologist? I don’t remember!) told him. I don’t know that I believe it at all – though I suppose the only way to really disprove that is to stay the exact same weight for 7 years and see what happens skin-wise!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Speaking of rude people — those that think it’s completely appropriate to come up to you and tell you how ugly they think your dog is. I mean, wtf? What can you say to that? “Um, thanks for sharing?”

You should totally say “Well, I guess you‘d know about ugly, wouldn’t you?”

Or is that too mean? (Or too subtle?)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Here is a question for tomorrow, what did Fred’s coworkers think when he showed up to work bald & wearing a hat – which I’m guessing is out of the ordinary for him since he had to go buy some – did they think he had come down with a sudden illness or pulled a Britney?

He actually went into the offices of the two who would tend to mock him, took off his cap, and said “Get it over with now” then told them what had happened. They didn’t have much to say – what fun is it to mock someone when they’ve given you permission to do so?

Also I had a thought that amused me and thought I’d share, I even had to keep myself from giggling aloud and scaring my fellow bus passengers this morning. Fred didn’t have to shave the rest of his hair off, he could have just worn those sassy hats you occasionally put on the cats & take pictures of over the bald spot

I think it was sometime Tuesday that Fred called me and said “I just realized that I could have worn a cap to cover up the bald spot instead of shaving my whole head!” HEE. I would like to see him with the little pink straw hat on, personally.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Robyn, all you have to do is look at your last year’s entry on your sister’s birthday, you always mention it : )

Ha – I do, don’t I? My mother pointed out that Debbie’s birthday is the easiest to remember, since she was born in 1970. Which I perfectly well know, but did it occur to me to think of it that way? Of course not!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Is Mister Boogers ok with sleeping on a PINK bed? I suppose he would tolerate it while sighing and shooting hate rays.

Mister Boogers is secure in his masculinity and doesn’t mind sleeping on a pink bed – it’s no worse than the purple bed he was sleeping on, after all!

(Also, pink goes nicely with his pretty blue-gray fur.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

As the main cook do you make things you hate but Fred loves to please him? I am selfish if I hate I don’t make it.

I do make some stuff that Fred likes, but I don’t do it often, and I make myself something else to eat while I’m doing it. Boiled okra is something he likes and that I can no longer stand (though oven-baked okra is fine with me), and I’ll boil him up a pot of it every so often.

I did make – and canned – quite a bit of salsa the summer before last, and it was all for him, because I don’t do hot salsa, and he doesn’t see the point in salsa that doesn’t singe the tastebuds right off your tongue.

I’ll make anything he wants me to make, really, all he has to do is request it, but when I put him on the spot – “What do you want to have for dinner next week?” when I’m making the grocery list – he never comes up with anything I won’t eat.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

the arborio rice is worth it and the store brand isn’t too expensive. i know wegmans and trader joes sell their own brand.

I really need to get me to Trader Joe’s, I have a list a mile long of stuff I want to buy from there!

And yes, you damn pretentious foodie freaks, I will try the Arborio rice just to see the difference. And then I’ll give it a try with a REAL (ie, not the microwave) risotto recipe and see how that goes. (I knew y’all were going to tell me I need to use Arborio rice, and I knew I’d cave almost immediately. I suspect I wanted to be convinced!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

that unknown chicken looks kinda like an Ameraucana to me with the chin fluff and all.

Now that you mention it, Fred did come across a picture of an Americauna rooster that looked just like our unknown roosters. I’ll be interested to see what they look like when they get older (though I don’t believe they’re on the short list to be permanent residents, if y’know what I mean, given the large number of roosters we currently have).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

And, Fred thinks rice is pretentious? Is he southern? Growing up (in Georgia), we had rice and gravy every Sunday, and “xyz on rice” was the basis of, I’d say, at least half homemade meals. I actually tend to see things like tiny new potatoes as pretentious, since we hardly ever had them. Hee.

No, he thinks risotto is pretentious because it’s something they show on Hell’s Kitchen and it requires care and attention and you can’t just throw it on the stove and walk away and expect it to finish itself.

(Although the microwave version sure is easy to do.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Have you or anyone you know bought an Amazon gift card for themselves? I see things I want there but some items are only $2.99 & I don’t want to use a credit card for such a small sum. I know it’s a stupid question but I just wondered how other people managed to make small purchases.
I was considering buying a gift card for 40 dollars. What do you think?

I think it makes sense – I haven’t done that with an Amazon gift card (I can alllllways find more stuff to add to my order on Amazon!), but I do it with an iTunes gift card, because when I buy stuff at iTunes, it’s always one or two songs or a TV show, and I hate seeing the small charges come through on the debit card. With an iTunes card, it’s a one-time $25 expenditure, and I don’t have to see a $2 charge on my statement when I buy stuff from them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Males and those who have no interest in hearing about a cure for yeast infections (rather than the harsh chemicals you can get at the drugstore), look away.

Robyn, I was reading one of your old entries, from July 04, I believe (I am working the graveyard shift this week which is very boring and your journal has provided HOURS of giggly entertainment so far this week, so thanks for that btw!), in which you mentioned the horror of using Monistat for yeast infections. Maybe since then you’ve found something that works better, but I thought I’d share my home remedy that has proven to work BEAUTIFULLY. I fill a 10cc syringe (which I have easy access to since I’m a nurse at the hospital) with plain, unsweetened, unflavored yogurt, and “inject” it up in there. I have to inject it lying down, and then usually STAY lying down afterward, because once it heats up to my body temperature it gets very runny and likely spills out. So often times when I do this, it’s at night and I’m wearing underwear I care nothing about. The last couple times I did this, though, I inserted a tampon behind it to “plug it up,” and it seemed to do the trick! I even dared to venture out of the house like that, and had no spillage issues. The active cultures in the yogurt just eat up the yeast. I usually only have to give myself one treatment and the yeast infection is gone. Two treatments if it’s a particularly harsh infection. But, y’know, it’s way cheaper than the OTC crap (which DOES burn and inflame and irritate and itch), it’s easier, and it’s faster. I don’t often recommend inserting food into people’s body parts, but in this case it has a great medicinal effect! I read online somewhere about somebody recommending to freeze the yogurt in some sort of cylindrical shape (not sure what she used to do that) to make insertion easier, not to mention its lovely cooling effect. Haven’t tried that yet myself, but I’m keeping it in mind.

I once got caught visiting a friend out of town when a monster of a yeast infection came on. I had no syringes at my disposal, but I thought maybe the pharmacy would have some, so we went to a Kroger & I asked the pharmacist if he had any 10cc syringes. He said Yeah, I think so, and went off to look for some, and came back with 2 or 3, but before he handed them to me he asked if it was for giving my pet a medicine or something like that (I guess he wanted to make sure i wasn’t some sort of druggie) and I just looked him right in the eye and said “Oh, no, it’s for me, I’m having gynecological issues.” He kind of stammered “Oh–ok” and awkwardly handed me the syringes. Hee! I love how embarrassing people usually gets them to do whatever you want them to!

I don’t get yeast infections all that often unless antibiotics are involved, but I suspect that this tip will come in handy for one of y’all out there!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

He’s a pretty, pretty Tom.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Previously
2008: I am a peeing machine.
2007: That just screams “Monday”, doesn’t it?
2006: “I prefer ‘va-jay-jay’,” he said almost prissily.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: And why is it that I ALWAYS have my period when it’s time to leave on vacation? Why? Whyyyyyyyyy?
2002: I don’t want to have to think about Ozzy having a boner, thankyouverymuch.
2001: Fortunately, I have many more lazing-around-the-house-reading hours in the day than he does.
2000: I didn’t think cats did such things once they were fixed.

Hey, guys! Help a student out? It’ll just take a few minutes of your time, and you could win an Amazon gift card!

My name is Lanna Lee Maheux-Quinn, and I am a Sociology and Mathematics student from the University of Southern Maine. I am conducting an anonymous survey about happiness and subjective well-being with adults 18 years or older.

Would you help me spread the word? The survey is located here: http://www.gotthink.com/survey/

This anonymous, online survey is voluntary and will take 5-10 minutes to complete. It will be open until Thursday, March 26th, 2009.

There are no known benefits to participating in this survey; nor are there any known risks for participating in this survey.

As a special incentive, those who complete this survey have an opportunity to participate in a sweepstakes for one of two $25 Amazon.com gift certificates. Those who wish to participate, when they complete the survey will be given an option to go to a separate survey that will collect their email address. Winners will be informed via email when the data collection is completed, on Thursday, March 26th, 2009.

I have chosen to ask you to help with getting the word out because I know that your blog is visited daily by a variety of people. By using my online connections, I hope to get a more diverse set of respondents than I would if I were only to use my friends and family.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

So Fred was going to go to work yesterday morning, and I heard him get out of bed and move around a little after 5:00, then I went back to sleep. Some time later, he came into my room and sat on the edge of the bed.

Turned out he’d had the worst night ever, the night before. He was freezing and he couldn’t get to sleep, and when he finally got up and took his temperature, it turned out that he had a temperature of 101.

He called in sick (or rather, I guess you’d call it emailing in sick) and made an appointment with his doctor. I went with him and cooled my heels in the waiting room while the nurse practitioner looked him over and stuck a long q-tip up his nose.

He has the flu.

She gave him a prescription for Relenza and told him I should call my doctor to get a prescription for the same as a preventative. When he told me that, I told him my medical records were still at the same office where he goes (long story short: my doctor has opened her own practice; I consider her my doctor, but haven’t needed to visit the doctor since she left the practice with Fred’s doctor, so Fred’s doctor still has my records.), so we went back in and got a prescription for me.

If I’d known it was going to cost $57 for my prescription, I would have just taken my chances. Gah.

Fred spent a good part of yesterday snoozing on the couch while I caught up on TV* (and Tommy tromped all over him repeatedly). He’s staying home today, too, and hopefully by the time the weekend is over, he’ll feel a lot better.

Spanky is doing perfectly fine – but to be honest, he was acting perfectly fine before we took him to the vet, too. We give him the wet food we got from the vet once in the morning and once in the evening, and he likes it. We give it to him on a plate in the small bathroom in the computer room so we can keep an eye on him – so that none of the other cats can elbow him out of the way and hog up the food – and he eats what we give him, and he’s happy about it.

He’s such a happy cat, nothing really bothers him (except that he knows when I’ve picked up a can of compressed air from, I swear to god, three rooms away. DOES NOT LIKE the can of air.) I know I’ve said it before, but our orange kitties – Sugarbutt, Newt, and Spanky – are absolutely the happiest cats we have. They’re so laid-back and sweet.

I sure do love my orange kittehs.

*How is it that I watched every episode of Big Love last season and never realized that Selma Green is a woman? I thought she and Hollis were brothers!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Warning: It’s a super-sized Comment! Answering! Extravaganza! this week – and I know some of them are questions you were asking of Nance and I, but since we never got around to making a video, I’m going to go ahead and answer them myself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I’ve been sending messages over the ocean to tell Spanky he has to live for ever.

If happiness helps to prolong one’s life – and I think that the happier you are, the longer you tend to live – then Spanky surely will live forever because he is one HAPPY kitteh.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I do love to see a photo of a cat on a worktop…..it makes me feel better about my house 😉

Oh, we never allow our cats on the counters or the table. Never! That was a one-time thing. Really!!! Ignore that cat bed on the dining room table…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

About the vole — a stray cat arrived at our farm (probably dropped) and she was truly a killer kitty. Nearly every morning she’d present a dead vole at my backdoor, minus head. She had an addiction to biting off the heads, though I never saw her devour the remainder of the vole. I’d see her patrolling the perimeter of the property early every morning, watching the ground for voles.

For a time, she stayed in the barn and would also kill mice. OF COURSE, I ended up taking Bitty Kitty into the house with my other cats. DH was upset, since he said she was his rodent/vole death squad. He didn’t want mice in the barn, since they might get into horse feed (though most of it was kept in metal barrels).

Is it wrong that I adore the idea of a kitty death squad? It was actually the first time we stepped onto the front porch and found pieces of a vole waiting for us that we knew Maxi and Newt had truly adopted us.

(I’m curious now why they eat the voles and moles and birds instead of offering them to us…? Hmm. I’ll say that I do prefer it that way, though!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I think Suggie just better ship those Reese’s peanut butter eggs to me RIGHT NOW and no blood will be shed! I love those things. I always purchase 1 bag of spice jelly beans and 1 package of the pb eggs around Easter. So far, the jelly beans have been purchased and eaten – yum.

My favorite part of this time of the year is the Reese’s peanut butter eggs. I actually had a hard time finding them this year, which made me cranky.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

And Suggie has knives. Lots of knives.

And he knows how to use ’em!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Sugarbutt blends in perfectly with your cabinets and kitchen decor. He is a beautiful countertop decoration!

Truly, I always recommend matching your cats to your decor. Suggie matches the cabinets well; Spanky’s pretty green eyes go well in the living room; Newt’s buff orange goes nicely with the peach walls in the laundry room, and Mister Boogers goes well with whatever room he enters. Hetred goes with everything!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

what do you do with the egg shells?

Whenever I use eggs, I collect the egg shells ’til I have a bowlful, then I let them dry in the oven, crush them, and feed them back to the chickens. The calcium in the shells helps to give the shells on the eggs they lay harder. The harder the shell, the better! (We also give them crushed oyster shell for the same reason.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I was reading your blog while watching American Idol and I read “and a couple of months before we met in prison”. That shocked me…until I read the words again…”in person”.

I wouldn’t have held it against you if you had met in prison, but I might have been a “little” scared.

It would certainly have been a more interesting story!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I really hate that you have spring already. Can I tell you to fuck off? North Bay lost almost 2 feet of it’s snow… and… I’m up by Thunder Bay now, we’re getting 40cms of snow.

Bet you miss living here, eh? Like, a lot??

Of course you can tell me to fuck off. You have my deepest sympathy with the snow and the cold. The older I get and the longer I live in the South, the more certain I am that there’s just no way on earth I could ever move back to Maine. The cold would KILL me. I can barely stand the three and a half minutes of cold weather we get here every year!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

What does “pipped and died in the egg” mean?

The hatching process consists of the three stages – first the chick “pips”, which means that they poke their beak through the shell in one spot. Then, they “zip”, which means they poke all the way around the shell so they can pop the top off the egg. Lastly, they hatch by pushing the top off the egg and squirming their way out.

(Nance would probably tell you that the fourth stage of hatching consists of the chicks collapsing as though they’re dead.)

You can see pictures of the zipping and hatching part of the process here. (Next time we hatch eggs, I’ll see if I can’t remember to get a picture of each stage!)

In this case, the chick pipped – poked the hole through the egg shell – but died before it got any further along in the process.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Your 2001 entry is one of the funniest ever!

Fred and I both use the line “It smells kinda… chemical!” all these years later and then laugh like goons.

This is the first time I am so sad to see kittens leave. I know it’s totally necessary and the right thing to do. If you kept them all you’d have to stop fostering. Does letting them go get easier with time? Or does it depend on how much each kitten tugged at your heartstrings like Samba did with mine? I’m sure they will both find great homes.

It really depends on the kittens – some kittens are easier to leave at the pet store than others, but it’s certainly never easy. When I put a kitten in a cage and they don’t immediately go hide in the litter box, I feel better about leaving them there. On the other hand, when they do go immediately hide in the litter box, I feel horrible.

What really sucks is that you can’t explain to them that this is for the best, that someone will hopefully adopt them quickly and love them forever and ever. If there was a way to make them understand that, I think it might make leaving them there a little easier.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I think Stinkerbelle looks angry because the dark lines on her forehead make her look like she is frowning.

I think Stinkerbelle looks angry because she’s a mean and hateful brat. She was laying on the bed in the guest bedroom the other day and I was petting her and she seemed to be enjoying it, then suddenly FOR NO APPARENT REASON she smacked at me AND IT HURT.

Brat.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I saw this and thought of you!

Obviously nine cats is NOT enough. I need to make a shirt with a picture of each of our cats on it, that says “Currently at ten. GOD KNOWS how many cats we’ll have next year!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Mr. Boogers, why do you hates me?

Boogie say “It not personal, stupid. I hets everyone.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Oh yeah, didn’t you wind up getting the SideSwipe blade thingie for the KitchenAid Mixer? I don’t recall hearing how that worked out for you. I am really interested in getting one myself… provided it works worth a damn. I am just concerned that too much of the batter/dough would stick to it and be ridiculously difficult to salvage.

I did get the SideSwipe blade, and I like it a lot. Dough does stick to it, but I don’t find it any more difficult to scrape off the SideSwipe than the regular flat blade. My only gripe is that one of the little fins tore recently, and I ended up having to pull it off so it wouldn’t end up in the cookies I was making. Even with one little fin missing, it still did a good job of mixing. So I’m saying I recommend it!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

We still have not received the testimonial of the ScamWow.

Would you believe that after I HAD to have the freakin’ ShamWow(s), I still haven’t used a single damn one of them?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

My question is about Jane; are y’all still friends and if so, can you please tell her to start writing again, mmmkay. (I kid; just wondered why she isn’t as prevalent on yours and Nance’s sites – y’all seemed like you were tight at one time.)

Yeah, I still consider Jane a friend, although we don’t email as often because she has a stupid JOB and she wants to do a GOOD job and she fails to understand that her whole reason for existing is to entertain me. Damn her.

(I would never tell Jane to start writing again ’cause she’d snatch me baldheaded and rightly so. She’ll write when she wants to/ has time to, and we can just consider it a lovely surprise when she does.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

What was the breed of large dog that you had in the house that didn’t work out?

Jake was a Great Pyrenees, just like George and Gracie are. I think Jake would be a fabulous watchdog for the chicken yard, he was just the right dog at the wrong time. If we’d found him two years later, he’d be out in the back forty guarding the chickens right now.

(Though I’ll admit that I’m glad we have two dogs out there instead of one. I like knowing that G&G have each other to play and snuggle with.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

What happened to SCOOPHANDS? Couldn’t they have caught the roosters? Mighty nice shootin’, though, Fred!

SCOOP HANDS would have been plenty helpful when we were trying to catch those goddamn roosters – I don’t know why it never occurred to me to grab them, but you can bet I’ll keep them in mind for next time!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Robyn, I would love to hear/see you read aloud one of your “best of” entries, particularly one where you go on a cussing rampage. Your voice sounds so sweet and kind that I think it would be hilarious to hear you say “Fuck” 837 times.

I’ll have to keep that in mind for the future – I don’t know that I’d be comfortable reading an entry on video, but I’m sure I could make a wav or mp3 file of whatever entry y’all want to hear!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I should really pick up my cross stitching again. I have one that I finished over a year ago, but I have to do the topstitching still. It’s my first one, so I am a little unsure of how to do this. Any advice???

I have no real advice – I think you just kind of have to dive in and do the best you can. Readers? Any long-time cross-stitchers have advice?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I’ve done that exact same cross stitch of the cow but I’m currently “working” on a baby announcement of when my youngest son was born–I started it 5 years ago:)

I tend to cross-stitch and cross-stitch and cross-stitch and then all of a sudden I just STOP and don’t cross-stitch for weeks or months. Once upon a time I was making a picture for my sister’s birthday, this one:

and then for some reason I put it down and didn’t touch it – or ANY cross-stitching – for SEVEN years. When I finally finished it, it had a damn stain on it that wouldn’t come out, and I ended up selling it on eBay. (Yes, the person who bought it knew that it had a stain on it!)

Speaking of cross-stitching, when I was looking for the picture above, I found this that I cross-stitched for Fred back in 2002.

I think he hung it up in his office, but I don’t know for sure. I also made one for him that said “I need what it don’t be”; Fred once got an email from someone who was trying to ask him something about a program Fred had designed, and in frustration, the person (English was not this person’s first language) said “I need what it don’t be”, and Fred and I were so captivated by the phrase that I had to cross-stitch it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

And: “my Georgie and my Gracie” – also Dogs! amongst the “things that make me smile.” Oh no, they are not pets, they are work dogs. And when they quit laying eggs, then Fred will process them.

🙂

Please take the above as an affectionate little tease. I know the dogs have their place and do a good job. The pics of them protecting the chickens from the hawk were wonderful.

I have no affection for those dogs. None! At all! No, really!

(Ha!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Oh, I love that hampshire looking pig. Actually I love them both! They are adorable. I noticed their tails aren’t docked, I wonder if you don’t have to worry about that when they are outside. They have so much other stuff to do, besides chew on each other tails.

That’s a good question – if I recall correctly, none of the pigs at the farm where we got these two had docked tails, so I imagine that when they have room to roam and dirt and grass to root through, they don’t go after each others’ tails.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

So, do you notice any difference in personality with these pigs as opposed to the other ones you’ve had? Friendlier? They look cuddly… like, I’d want to go give them a great big pig hug!

They’re not really friendly, per se, but they aren’t afraid of us at ALL. They learned very quickly that when they see us it means there are snacks on the way, so they come right over to the gate and wait for us. (They learned more quickly than the other pigs we had, for sure, so maybe they’re smarter. Or just hungrier!) If we take too long to get over to the gate, they squeal and grunt and all but call us motherfuckers. They are spoiled ROTTEN, but they’re so cute about it that I can’t help but laugh at them.

You would want to go give them a great big pig hug right up until you got a whiff of the pig stank, trust me. Although maybe that’s not really fair – it isn’t so much the pigs that stink as the pig yard. They tend to use the corner of the pig yard closest to the chicken coop as their toilet, so as you approach the pig yard, it stinks to high heaven. Thank GOD the house isn’t downwind from the pig yard!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Are you going to break down and finally name your piggies Cocoa and Oreo? They are, after all, your cutest. pigs. yet.

Sure, why not? I don’t know that we’ll ever call them by their names, but I see no reason we can’t declare their names to officially be Cocoa and Oreo!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I was wondering how the dogs were doing with the hawks. Do the hawks make noise that attract the dogs’ attention or do the dogs just have a sense for when there are hawks around?

I honestly don’t know how it is that the dogs know there are hawks up there, whether the hawks make noise that I just don’t hear, or if the dogs just happen to glance up and see them there. Whatever the case, I think George and Gracie are doing a really good job of keeping the chickens safe. The funny thing is that apparently Pyrs don’t really hit their stride as far as bonding to and guarding their flock until they’re about 18 months of age, so I look forward to seeing them get serious about their job this winter.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

We went to the Fiery Foods show this weekend. (The guy from Man vs. Food was there!!) Anyhow, there was someone giving samples of Lethal Injection hot sauce, which has bhut jolokia peppers in it. I was too scared to try it, especially after watching my boyfriend and his best friend suffer for 10 minutes. My boyfriend said he’d never tasted anything so hot in his life — he eats habanero peppers like they’re fruit!

I honestly don’t get why anyone would desire to eat something that causes them actual physical pain. WHY? It makes no sense to me! The day I popped a roasted jalapeno pepper in my mouth and then complained about my mouth burning for an hour afterward, Fred thought I was crazy. Hot food loving people are The Crazy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

BTW – Because of you and Fred I’m starting a vegetable garden. I’ve been breaking my back clearing an area in the backyard for it. Ya’ll are also the reason we think it’s perfectly OK and normal to have “only” 4 cats. See what you are doing to the world?! 🙂

I wonder how many cats have been adopted because people could use the “At least we don’t have as many as Robyn and Fred” justification? 🙂 (That would be 2 of ours)

Y’all, ‘fess up. How many of you have said “We can get another cat – we still won’t have as many as Fred and Robyn!” to justify getting another cat?

I know Michelle used to comfort herself with the thought that she had fewer cats than we did annnnnd… how many cats DO you have now, Michelle? 🙂

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Bottom line–instinct and experience makes good bread, so keep at it and one day you’ll just “get it.”

That’s what I figured, it’s just going to be a matter of doing it ’til I figure out what I’m doing. I told Nance last week that my next goal is to do a decent loaf of bread without using the bread machine (yes, I have weird goals) and then I want to try my hand at pie crusts!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Yum! Pecans! Not sure if you like peanut brittle….but I saw this episode of Peter Perfect (which is actually kind of cute) and he was helping a woman get her business back on track….the business? Pecan brittle! And apparently everyone they met on the streets thought it was much better than peanut brittle. Might be something to try.

Oddly enough, Fred and I discussed the idea of pecan brittle. I’ve checked out a few recipes, and it doesn’t look too terribly difficult. We have so many pecans, why not give it a try, right?

(I toasted a pan of pecans earlier this week, then when they were cool I put them in a bowl on the counter, and every time I go by the bowl, I grab a couple. They are SO DAMN GOOD.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Did the chickens come out in the snow much?

The chickens didn’t really know what to make of the snow – most of them stayed in the coop (which they tend to do when it’s cold out), and the ones that came outside didn’t pay much attention to the snow at all. I’d like to see their reaction if we got three or four feet of the stuff, though!

(Which is not to say that I want three or four feet of snow, just that I’m curious what the chickens would do!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

OMG – that is seriously the first time I have heard your voice Robyn. You sound just like a CNN journalist. Or maybe a guest on Martha Stewart. Actually you sound just like a Mum (Mom) on any American sitcom I have ever seen! Sorry – Australian here. I lurve your accent. BTW – goats cheese is unnatural and wrong. It tastes just like the smell of goats. Bleugh. But each to their own. I am biased because I grew up on a farm on which the livestock included goats. I can’t stand the smell of them.

and

And I know I’ve said it before, but your voice is always so different from how I voice you in my head, as I’m reading you. Love the slices of life that you show us, it’s very interesting and fun.

Everyone always says that I sound differently than they expect. Which begs the question, of course – what did you expect I’d sound like?

I know some people expect a Southern accent and some people expect a Maine accent, but I really kind of grew up all over (my father was in the Air Force ’til I was 12, and I was born in Maine, my sister was born on a base in Canada, we lived in Indiana, Michigan, Guam, and very Northern Maine. We settled in Maine (about 40 minutes north of Portland) when I was 12. My father’s from Alabama and my mother’s from Maine. My father does have a southern accent, but my mother doesn’t really have a Maine accent (after meeting my parents for the first time, Fred said “Your mother doesn’t really have an accent most of the time, ’til she says something like ‘CAH’!”). When I worked taking orders at LL B3an one winter, a caller told me I sounded like I was from the Midwest.

But tell the truth – y’all expected me to sound like Marge Simpson’s sisters, didn’t you?

If you have a burning desire to hear my voice – and Fred’s – you can actually go to last year’s entry, scroll down, and listen to us reading the newspaper article about Flappy McGee laying her monster egg. There’s even a blooper reel!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Vodka makes a good cleaner on tile, bathtubs, kitchen surfaces and the like. Also makes a good room deodorizer spray mixed with your favorite essential oil.

That sounds like something I need to make – I have a little bottle of lemon essential oil, and it’s impossible to find lemon-scented deodorizer spray in the stores. I think I’m going to try making my own; it would certainly put the vodka to good use, otherwise the bottle of vodka would just sit in the cupboard for years and years!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

OK, so I was buying seed potatoes and onions at southern states today so I thought I’d ask: What are y’all growing, food-wise, this year? TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR GARDEN! 🙂

Fred can add to this list, but I believe our garden this year is going to include the following: tomatoes (sungold, Golden Jubilee Heirloom Orange, Brandywine, Better Boys), peppers (habaneros, jalapenos, bell peppers, bhut jolokia peppers), yellow, scalloped, and zucchini squash, eggplant, cabbage, romaine lettuce, corn, okra, green beans, potatoes, cucumbers, melons (haven’t decided what kind just yet), acorn and spaghetti squash. I’m talking about doing a couple of raised beds behind the back yard where I can grow carrots and onions this year, and possibly a small herb bed. In addition to the garden, we’ve got 10 apple trees, 11 peach trees, 5 plum trees, 2 pear trees, 4 cherry trees, 2 fig trees, and some muscadine grape vines. (I don’t expect all the trees will bear fruit this year, but I’m hoping at least several of them do!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Miz Poo and Tommy were playing with catnip toys, and Tommy got a little too close to Miz Poo. So she boxed his ears. You can imagine how pleased he was at being schooled by a portly Poo.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Previously
2008: What you don’t know is that there are moments of pure glamour interspersed with all the drudgery.
2007: No entry.
2006: That is an amazing and scintillating fact, right there.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Y’know, sometimes I wonder how I make it through the world, clueless as I am.
2002: Her portly butt probably cut off the circulation to something important.
2001: I should have her arrested.
2000: Work was just heavenly today.