Category: CAE

If things look odd around here for the next few days, it could be because we’re switching servers. Hopefully by Monday, things will be running smoothly again!

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On the issue of cats peeing all over the house, I have some advice from (unfortunately) years of experience. Don’t put the litter box there. Putting the litter box there says “Yes! Pee here!” Instead, put their food there. Cats won’t eliminate where their food is. Then put the litter box some distance away. Have multiple litter boxes, of course. When this was an issue for our cat, due to stress caused by strange cats outside our apartment, we tried everything but it wasn’t until we used the food solution that we made any progress (still wasn’t perfect, but it really helped — fortunately our cat was obsessed with peeing in corners only). We had about ten food dishes around at one point, but he got the idea after awhile. Also having a little dish of vinegar in the spot will stop them. As long as you have made sure it’s not a medical issue, it’s just a long process of behavior modification. Our ultimate solution was moving to a new house 😉 Once the stress was gone, his behavior was perfect. (I like the Valium suggestion too. For both cat and owner.)

Excellent advice!

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We have been having a problem with our cat pooping outside of the litter box. We took him to the vet and same thing, no physical problem. Eliminating outside of the litter box can be a reaction to stress and anxiety and that could be from just about anything. Anyway the vet recommended that we have 2 litter boxes (you are supposed to have 1 more than the number of cats you have so I guess Robyn and Fred have about 20 boxes:)), change the litter to plain non-scented clay and also we confined him to a small area 24/7 for 2 weeks. In our case he had the run of the laundry area so that it had his food, his litter boxes and his cushion. Be prepared for a lot of meowing and carrying on. Just don’t have his food all that close to the litter boxes. During this 2 weeks your cat is getting retrained to use the litter boxes. Also if you have the kind of box that has a hood on it take it off and watch to see if he is having trouble getting into the boxes, maybe the sides are too high. Meanwhile make sure you are thoroughly cleaning the areas where he has peed with enzyme cleaner, make sure it soaks right into the carpet and underpad. Then after the 2 weeks let him have the run of part of the house, block off the stairs if you can and only let him out when you are home to observe. When you have to go out put him back into his confined space. After 2 weeks of this and no accidents let him have the run of the house and keep your fingers crossed. Right now our kitty is on an anti-anxiety plus we are using the Feliway plus he is confined when we are not home.

More excellent advice!

And actually, we only (!) have four litter boxes – three in the laundry room, one upstairs in the bathroom (there’s a nook that’s perfect for a litter box). When the foster kittens have the run of the house, all the cats have access to the two litter boxes in the foster room, too – but those rarely get used by our cats. I scoop all the litter boxes in the house twice a day (upon rising and at Snackin’! Time!), and I’ve noticed that one of the litter boxes doesn’t get much use. I may try removing it and see if that causes any problems.

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Under $100 at Sam’s. It is a Festivus Miracle. I truly did not think that was possible.

And then! The following week! I DID IT AGAIN! I think I should play the lottery, because amazing things are happening ’round here!

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I took our 2 orange and white kitties to the vet for their annual shots this morning, and while there the receptionist mentioned (because somebody else mentioned that almost all calico cats are female) that most orange kitties are male. Have you ever heard that before? (I notice Phyllis is both orange and female, which might blow that theory.)

I’ve heard that orange tabbies more often tend to be male than female, but after I first heard that a few years ago, it seems like I’m always getting female orange tabbies. I looked around for an explanation, and found this, from this page:

Like humans, cats have one pair of sex chromosomes. These are the ones that make them male or female and they play an essential role in determining a cat’s colour. In females, both sex chromosomes are X making girl kitties XX. Males are XY, the Y making them male. A kitten gets one chromosome from Mom and one from Dad. Moms only have X’s so the variable is given by the Dad, if he gives his X, the kitten is a girl, if he gives his Y, it is a boy.

The gene which makes a cat ginger (orange) is located on the X chromosome. The gene for ginger will override all other colours. Since males have only one X, they either are or aren’t ginger – no halfway about it. Girl cats have two X’s in each cell. As far as the cells are concerned two X’s is one too many, so each cell deactivates one of the X chromosomes in a fairly random fashion . . .

Since males only need to have the orange gene on one chromosome to become ginger, and females have to have it on two, ginger males outnumber females 3 to 1.

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(Regarding Danielle from Real Housewives from NJ) While Danielle’s childhood history is horrible, it doesn’t excuse her behavior as an adult these many years later. It explains it, but doesn’t excuse it.

Absolutely! I am not a fan of the “This happened to me, therefore it excuses all my consequent asshole behavior” excuse.

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Hey Robyn, save some of those jumbo zuccs and make this: http://www.recipezaar.com/Low-GI-8220Apple8221-Crisp-12379. I made it for dessert last night and it totally fooled my non-squash eating 11 year old. FTW! It was great warm with a little squirt of whipped cream on top.

That looks really good – I may have to make that this weekend! (I’ll report back, if I do.)

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I hope adorable Creed doesn’t jump atop the stove when burners are still hot. I wouldn’t want him, or any other kittehs, burning their paws.

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I have one cat, Snickers, and worry that he will burn his paws on my flat top stove while being his nosy self. I was wondering what you guys do, with your crew of cats, to prevent this from happening? Snickers sizzled his whiskers one morning as he checked out what was in the toaster.

Creed’s too little to get up on the stove, actually – I put him on the stove so I could show how damn big those zucchini had gotten.

I don’t actually do anything to keep the cats off the stove top – they don’t hang out on the counters or near the stove when I’m cooking (they’ve been tossed off the counters often enough while I’ve been cooking so that they know it’s a no-no). So far, we’ve been lucky!

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I’ve got a “Friday Question,” something that’s been running through my wee tiny brain of late. (Especially after the other night when I had a Robyn dream that you and Fred actually lived during the week in an apartment in some city. You only spent the weekends at Crooked Acres, and you hired me to take care of things for you at the farm during the week. I kept trying to explain that maybe I could deal with the “dispatching” of the chickens but the pigs were out of the question, and then Fred yelled at me for being a hypocrite. And that hurt, Robyn, that really hurt.)

I’ve been following your blog since long before your surgery, long before Fred lost the weight. I look at your life now, the house, the garden, the animals, the joy you both clearly take in what you’ve accomplished, and after I’m done trying to not be jealous (I would KILL for your tomatoes [uh, the ones in your garden ;-)]), I wonder: do you think that the way you and Fred live today would have been even remotely possible if you were as large as you both were when your blogs had their inceptions? And, when you began your blogs, did either of you ever imagine that you’d live this kind of life?

I ask because I’m incredibly nosy. It’s how I roll. Especially when I’m yelled at for refusing to kill pigs with hammers and my kid’s safety scissors.

I LOVE IT when you guys have dreams about us, for the record. And really, if Fred was demanding that you take care of dispatching the pigs, he was the hypocrite, since he makes someone else do that!

I honestly don’t think it would have been physically possible for us to do what we’ve done with this place, the renovating of the inside, the cutting of the lawn, the caring for the animals, the constant goddamn weeding in the garden (hee – as if I’ve done any weeding in weeks! Fred does it all!) at the size we were when we started blogging. We might have wanted to, but there’s no way we could have pulled it off.

I don’t know that having 4 1/2 acres, 150ish chickens, two dogs, and pigs is anything we were aiming for. I know we both wanted to have a house on more land than the 1/3 acre we had then – we kind of stumbled into this life, and as it turns out it’s the life we always wanted without realizing it.

(Hammers and safety scissors? That sounds like some kind of MacGuyver shit!)

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Butterfinger cake sounds great-a definite take and bake. Having pigs to feed the excess to is mighty convenient. Did Fred “take care of” them while you were gone?

Did I forget to mention this? Fred made the appointment to take the pigs the Monday after I got back from Maine, and I was supposed to go with him. But late on the Saturday before, his truck died at a busy intersection (when we were on the way to have a guy take a look at it because some kind of fluid was leaking from underneath – but then the truck completely died, and the guy couldn’t fix it, so we had it towed to our usual place in Closeville.), so he asked a coworker with a truck (and hitch) for help. Monday morning, the guy came, and he and Fred hauled the pigs off to the butcher. I stayed home and weeded!

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I had a problem with a neighbor asking to “borrow” money. For about 8 years my husband and I lived in a home converted into 4 apartments – the same people lived in all 4 units the same time I was there. Everyone was OK (and by OK I mean they pretty much left us alone) except for the front door unit, which we had to pass by every day to get the mail. The woman had no job and a big story, which inevitably led to heavy sighs about a lack of money. I would just commiserate get out of there as quick as possible, but I found out that my husband was giving her money when she directly asked. I went nuts. I think I was maddest about her taking advantage of my husband’s good nature and he agreed to stop.

Apparently she didn’t get the hint and showed up AT OUR DOOR late one evening. My car in the shop so I’m pretty sure she thought I wasn’t home at the time. She said she needed “just a little bit” of money and promised she’d pay it back. I told her to hold on, shut the door and pulled a $20 out of my wallet – my husband looked at me like I was crazy. I opened the door again, wide enough for her to see my husband in the room, handed her the $20 and cut her off when she tried to say she’d pay it back. I smiled and said “You keep it. This along with all the money you’ve taken from my husband. This is the last you’ll ever get from us, and if you ask again I’m calling the landlord.” And that was the end of that – it was great because after that she actively avoided speaking to either one of us. It’s one of the few times I’ve managed to say exactly what I wanted to say at exactly the right time.

Internet high five!

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I’m so sad to hear about Mr. Boogers. His het updates were a bright spot for me, so I will het everything a little extra today in his memory.

He would het that.

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Hey, Robyn, I’m a bit behind reading (b/c I’ve been in PARIS–eat your heart out 🙂 , so hopefully you’ll get notified about comments.

I’m all about the muffins, and since I’m single and trying to remain relatively healthy, I usually only want one or 2. I got me one of these and boy is it the bomb. Kinda like a waffle iron except for muffins. I freeze batter and make up one or 2, and it’s great and you don’t have to heat up your whole oven. It heats itself up in about 3 minutes and they take about 15 to bake and have that a nice crusty side to go along with the nice crusty top which is what muffins are all about. I (like Alton Brown) detest unitasker appliances, but this one is worth it if you’re all about muffins. Just sayin’.

Kar, you evil evil reader, I cannot find one of those anywhere online. And I WANT one!

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I first read, “Okay, I’ve got shit to do…” as “Okay I’ve got to shit…” and I thought that you were really over-sharing today!

While I do over-share from time to time, I promise to keep my bowel habits to myself!

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Did you ever think of selling your stuff at the Farmer’s Market?

Not really – between the amount of produce I’m freezing and canning, and the stuff we feed the chickens and pigs, and the occasional bags of squash we give Fred’s parents and sister, there’s really not anything left over.

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You are going to be overrun with produce! Do you have a vacuum sealer? I got one this spring because I was tired of buying packages of meat at Costco and having the last ziploc be all freezer burnt before we got to it. I highly recommend if you don’t have one. We have a new model that sort of stands up and it’s also great for sealing spaghetti sauce or what have you (as long as you’re careful to leave a lot of room at the top).

I ADORE my Food Saver. I use it all the time! I highly recommend it to everyone – when I get large amounts of ground beef at Sam’s, I split it up and use the Food Saver to pack it up. LOVE IT.

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Why oh why does the maestro have a red drinking straw sticking out of the back of his head??

That’s a zip tie behind him, holding the chicken wire to the fence.

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In the neighbourhood where I live there are quite a few feral cats..there are 2 calicos..very cute (I think one is the mom and the other the baby…about 2 & 1 years old) About a year ago the younger cat started hanging out with me when I am out in the garden or outside reading- she’ll sit under a bush watching me, lay on on the porch step … then as the months have gone by she had been sitting in the back garden waiting for me to get up in the mornings. The older one is never too far behind..and sometimes shows up first.

Then about 6 months ago I started Snackin! Time where they have come into my laundry room to eat (about an 8th of a cup of dry food once a day…I never wanted this to be their only food source) as the months have gone by 3 other cats have joined them but just once or twice a week…the 2 calico let me pet them alot each morning but only inside the laundry room, when they are outside they don’t let me get too close and always run off. When I come home they often are waiting for me and roll around on the ground, if I have no food they go away and come back the next day..they don’t seem to bothered. Sometimes I don’t see them for a day but they usually show up within 48 hours, but most days they come by twice but food is only handed once a day.

They have come right into my house once in a while and have a good snoop around but don’t stay longer than 5 minutes. They catch birds and lizards and really could care 2 hoots about how cute I think they are and how I just wanna squeeze them to death…I have picked them up, a little 2 second lift, but they don’t like it and I have been scratched badly by one of them by doing this~ DUH! (they have been spayed as their ears are clipped and the neighbour told me that someone has used to do that to the cats..take them in for fixing and clipping the ears…all 5 of the strays have clipped ears except one, a male is NOT fixed)
anyway I am moving at the end of the month to a new neighbourhood and want your advice about taking them with me The 2 calicos..do you advise it or should I just leave them alone here
The place I am moving to has a huge yard…very large but I know they won’t know where the hell they are if I take them- here they know where they are and the hood is their life.

Please let me know your thoughts.

And Val said:

My aunt is the neighborhood cat lady. She had several outdoor cats that adopted her. When she built a beautiful house out in the country, she wanted to make sure the cats were OK. So she lived trapped the cats, and took them out to the new place and let them go. It took her hubby and her over a week to move so she did it slowly after they started sleeping at the new digs. She, also, had them fixed if they hadn’t been already fixed (I think she had one sly male that she never managed to catch before the move). The cats adjusted quite nicely. I think she moved something like 3 or 4 cats.

There’s a really good page about relocating feral cats, here. I think that if you’re willing to relocate them, that’s pretty awesome – and you should go for it!

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What’s pigweed?

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Hmm… it’s been a long time. My Dad owned a sale barn and he passed away when I was 12. I was looking at a photo this morning of MJ’s daughter and thought gosh that is how old I was when my dad died. So I was pretty young when I was around pigs which is why my memory is hazy on this. I thought pigweed was toxic to animals???

and then Fred said:

We call it pig weed because we feed it to the pigs, but I’m pretty sure it’s actually smartweed.

For the record, I did not know that it’s not actually pig weed. Fred’s always called it pig weed, so that’s what I’ve called it, too!

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How is Miz Poo doing with her affliction?

Miz Poo spends most of her time sitting around in an Elavil-induced haze. I haven’t caught her grooming her belly and legs at all except for the two days when Fred forgot to medicate her before he left for work. If he forgets to give her her pill, it’s like she’s instantly out of the haze, and begins grooming obsessively.

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You might be sorry if you contact those magazines. I don’t think you have to actively subsribe to them. Entrepreneur, in particular, goes to anyone who *might* be a small business owner. If you contact them, you’ll probably be subscribed as Robyn and then be getting 2 copies.

I didn’t actually identify myself as NOT the previous box owner, just wrote and asked them to cancel the subscriptions. Hopefully that’ll stop them from coming. Also, I think it’s odd that I keep getting the magazines addressed to the previous box owner, but am not getting any of their other non-magazine mail. It’s as if they gave up their PO Box to get the hell away from the magazines!

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My Credit Union even offers a service where I scan the fronts and backs of checks, and email them into the bank – Voila! They deposit them into my account! I always make sure to shred them after I know the deposit has been credited to my account. I truly don’t have to go to the bank if I don’t want to!

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We do ALL our banking online. It’s awesome! I can deposit checks online then send them on to the bank (its actually a credit union) via the special envelopes they send me. The funds are even available immediately! I also never have to balance my checkbook since I can check my account balance every day and I know what checks are out. Very few since I use the online bill payer and don’t have to write out as many checks. I used to hate banking but now I can do it at home in my pajamas any time of the day or night!

Our credit union doesn’t offer that – but I’m hoping they do, and the sooner the better. That would be a dream come true!

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After your posts last summer about pattypan squash, I decided to grow some this year. LOVE ‘EM!

I LOVE the pattypans. They rank even with zucchini, as far as I’m concerned. They have a good flavor, and they don’t get as seedy as yellow summer squash does. For dinner last night, I roasted slices of pattypan, then layered them in a dish with our leftover spaghetti sauce from earlier this week, and topped it with cheese. It was REALLY good.

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I love okra but never eat it because I can’t get past the slime. Does the oven-fried okra still have that slime factor going because I would really like to try it!

Nope, I don’t find the oven-fried okra to be slimy at all. Handling it before you cook it – the slicing of it, and tossing it with the breading – is a bit slimy, but once it’s breaded and baked, it’s not slimy at all. And it’s really pretty good!

A few months ago, Gina left a recipe in my comments (a recipe I haven’t tried yet but plan to) that she swears gives you non-slimy okra. It’s worth a try!

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Some people swim with the dolphins…and other Darwins find swimming pigs…and get bit.

Ha – I love it!

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When I first glanced at #1 picture, I thought it was Gracie & George and thought “Oh Boy, they already got another kitten”. Then it hit me that no way would you replace the Boogie so quickly and I read the caption. I also thought of you, Fred Poor Boogie several times over the last week. I even got mad at him for jumping the fence. But I quickly forgave him.

No, we’re not planning to get another cat anytime soon, if ever. When Spot had to be put to sleep, we were sad but he’d been sick, so it wasn’t such a great shock. When Fred remembered Joe Bob and what a great cat he was, it seemed only natural to bring him into our house. This time, we’re still getting used to losing Mister Boogers, and the idea of bringing another cat into the family, well, it just doesn’t feel right. That might change in the future, or it might not – only time will tell.

(And I hate that Boogie was able to get out of the back yard. We’re talking about adding an electrified strand to the top of the fence so that it never happens again.)

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Question for you. How did George and Gracie handle the firecrackers? Our three goofballs did not even bat an eye but I know doggies don’t like the fireworks.

The stuff that was being set off in the distance didn’t bother them, but the kids a few doors down have been setting off bottle rockets almost every afternoon, and they bark at that. Also, someone set something off in the church parking lot the other night, and that set them off, too. For the most part, though, we’re lucky – most of the stuff being set off around here was far enough away that they didn’t pay much attention to it.

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Say goodbye to Creed, Dwight, and Phyllis, who are off to the pet store, hopefully to be adopted quickly! We’ve certainly gotten attached to the little monkeys, and they’ve really made themselves at home. They really like hanging out with us in the evening when we’re watching TV. Hopefully they’ll be adopted quickly by people who’ll be able to tell right away what sweetie pies they are!

“I wonder if she noticed I was SLEEPING before she started up with that flashy thing?”

At the sight of such a large supply of pristine cardboard, Phyllis can barely contain herself!

She finishes off her meal with a chomp of Creed’s neck.

“Hey! Guys! I don’t wanna brag or nothin’, but did you notice I’m in the box??”

Junk mail inspectors Creed and Dwight check my recycling box to be sure I’m doing it right.

Dwight curls up in the bucket with the latest copy of In Style. It’s what all the stylish kittens are reading!

Creed knocked over the trash can in the bathroom and hung out there for a few hours. He likes to curl up in the oddest places.

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Sheriff Mama performs an exhaustive interrogation of the suspect.

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Previously
2008: I’m too young to be old and frail!
2007: WHO AM I AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH THE REAL ROBYN?
2006: Playing with tigers.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: How to kick a sock’s ass. If it had an ass.
2002: “What’s your name?” he asked.
2001: No entry.
2000: Leave it to me to have sex dreams about the gay guy, huh?

Guys, I’m aware that Bloglines isn’t showing my latest entries, but I have no clue on earth how to fix that. I can tell you that Google Reader is showing my entries just fine. I updated to the latest WordPress, thinking that perhaps that was the issue, but Bloglines still doesn’t seem to be working with my RSS feed.

The only other thing I can think of is that since my template is elderly, perhaps Bloglines doesn’t like the RSS feed… but I don’t know that that makes sense. I’ll try switching to the newer template (the one I used last month and then discarded because I couldn’t figure out how to force it to show my banner at the top) this weekend and testing it. If that’s the issue, then I’ll look for a newer template instead of sticking with this old one. It could take time, though, so be patient!

(Or switch to Google Reader? 🙂 )

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Boy, Michael Jackson – what a shock, huh? I just happened to glance at my updated stuff in Google Reader yesterday afternoon, and saw the dlisted headline.

Farrah Fawcett did not come as a huge shock, she’s been so sick. Ed McMahon did not come as a shock, he’d hit the “He’s lived a good long life” stage of his life. But Michael Jackson? Wasn’t expecting that!

(When I announced to Fred that Michael Jackson had died and he said “No way!” (which was also the reaction of my sister and Liz), I said “I wonder who the third will be?” and he said “Ed McMahon was the first, Michael Jackson was the third!” Oh, right. Forgot about Ed! He lived a good long life.)

I texted the news to my sister and Liz, and as I sent the text – Did you hear that Michael Jackson is dead? – I thought “This sounds like the beginning to a bad joke.” Sure enough, my sister said “I thought at first it was a joke, but wasn’t sure what the punch line was going to be!”

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No way of taking a train instead? Even driving a car across the entire country only takes four or five days. Just thinking here…

I don’t know that it’s possible to take a train from here to Maine – that’d be something worth checking into, for sure! I think I mentioned that if I had to do it again, and if I’d realized when my flight was first delayed that I was going to end up spending the night in the airport, I would have rented a car and driven from DC. Now I’m wondering if there’s a train from DC to Boston (surely there is?) – I could have taken that and then the train from Boston to Portland. Hmm… I’m not going to say I’ll keep those ideas in mind for next time ’cause there ain’t GONNA be a next time. I’m only flying early morning flights from here on out!

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I was stuck at Narita International Airport in Japan for 24 whole hours and on top of my deafness and ASL, I couldn’t find anyone who understood English. Based on my harrowing experience (mostly due to exhaustion and sleep deprivation from flying for 24 hours and no “American” food to be found), better at LaGuardia than Narita!

Oh lord, what a nightmare!!!

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My worst delay was coming home from Las Vegas- two hours on a Sunday night. Our flight didn’t land until after 2am in Edmonton. Did you know that everything except Burger King shuts down at 5 or 6pm in the International Terminal at McCarren? No, I didn’t either. You would think that a place that is as 24/7 as Vegas you could get something other than a Whopper on Sunday evening, but not so much.

This reminds me of years and years ago, when I had to spend the night at the Newark airport (that’s right, I slept in Newark!). It was to my utter amazement that all the stores and restaurants closed down early in the evening. I’d always thought that airports were up and running 24/7, including the stores and restaurants! Who knew?

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But my question is, would it have been faster for you in the end, to have just driven the distance?

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Next time DRIVE trust me it will be faster. I avoid flying at all costs.

It would have taken me two entire days to drive from here to Maine – I actually did it back in… oh, I don’t remember. 2000, or thereabouts. It wasn’t a bad drive, but it also wasn’t a fun drive, especially by myself! And I’ve driven through Pennsylvania three or four times, and every single time I drove through the state of Pennsylvania, it was to the tune of horrific torrential rains. Pennsylvania doesn’t think I should be driving in their state, obviously.

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You really ought to put out a bulletin before you fly anywhere to see which readers are in the area. Then heck, take them up on the offer of staying with them! A good way to see the USA?

I always say (or at least I’ve said once or twice in the past) that I’d love to drive across the country, stopping regularly to have mini-Bitchypoo conventions! Good way to see the country, good way to meet y’all. 🙂

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I guess only you were allowed to drive and if not if you dared to pull over to switch drivers you’d NEVER get someone to let you back into traffic.

Yeah, I was the only driver on the rental agreement, so I didn’t dare to let anyone else drive – but I also didn’t want to chance getting off the road, switching seats, and then not being able to pull back into traffic. And since I was mostly dry-heaving AND we were moving along at a crawl, I was okay with continuing to drive.

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I know this has been discussed, but I haven’t paid attention because I don’t currently have a cat. Anyway, a friend of mine has a problem with her cat peeing all over the house (yes, it’s a clean litterbox). The vet says it isn’t a physical problem and her solution is to make her an outside cat. My friend would like that to be a last resort (lots of reasons). Any thoughts or helpful hints? Her other friends have told her to have the cat put to sleep.

I would suggest Feliway, but to be honest, I don’t think it really makes a difference. I wish it did, but it just doesn’t seem to, at least in our house.

Would your friend’s vet be open to prescribing kitty Valium for your friend’s cat? Maybe if the pattern of spraying could be broken, it would help stop the spraying.

Another idea (I don’t remember where I read this, and I haven’t tried it myself, so take it with a grain of salt) is to put the litterbox where the cat tends to pee (I know you said it’s peeing all over the house, but perhaps it has a particular favorite spot?), then when the cat starts using the litter box, move it slowly toward the preferred location. I don’t know, though – if your friend has kids, that might not be a feasible solution.

Readers? Suggestions?

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Off topic, but have you had a problem with older cats pooping on the carpet. My older cat Angel has done this 3 times. If you have had this problem, what did you use to clean it up?

Mr. Fancypants (god rest his soul, I assume) expressed his displeasure by pooping on the rug near the litter box. And many things displeased him.

(Just thinking about it REALLY pisses me off. That fucking bastard. He sure was a character, though.)

We’d remove what we could of the waste, dab at the spot with a warm damp cloth, and then we used Resolve Spot & Stain Carpet cleaner. We used Oxi-Clean from time to time, but I really think the Resolve did a better job, and it was what we always reached for first.

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Another off topic, but I thought you might enjoy this story about a chicken surviving a tornado.

Awww, good for Momma hen! They need to name that hen Lucky!

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One morning I woke up with a creepy feeling that I ignored. Finally opened my eyes to see a spider hot-footing it down my arm. I jumped out of bed and issued loud, guttural sounds while doing the panic dance. I looked all through the bed clothes with Robert helping, but nothing. I went to the bathroom and on the way back to bed, looked down to see the spider beat-feeting it up my pajamas leg. Again, loud guttural (what happens to language? why does it go away?) sounds and the panic dance. This time, I ripped the PJs off and Robert corralled the spider in a drinking glass and took it outside. It took him a full day to admit it was a brown recluse.

I hope it has gone back to its reclusive ways. Or I’ll be shooting a spider in my pajamas!

(That last sentence reminds of the Groucho Marx joke, “Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.”)

It is to my utter horror that I went to look at pictures of Brown Recluses, and I’m 99.3% sure I’ve seen those fucking things around here, and further that I think I saw one in the garden yesterday.

Pardon me while I shudder and run around in circles.

The problem is that they’re pretty generic-looking spiders, and I don’t know that I’d really be able to tell them apart from an ordinary garden spider without getting close up and personal. I prefer not to do that, thank you.

I just finished, a couple of days ago, the Lisa Gardner book Say Goodbye. It told me far more about spiders in the south than I ever wanted to know.

If you want some creepy reading, go ahead and Google up “Black widows as pets” (PEOPLE KEEP BLACK WIDOWS AS PETS I SHIT YOU NOT) and if you have a strong stomach, check out “Brown recluse bites.”

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The lack of photos of the gigantic twirly-eyed spider was noted and very much appreciated!!

Only ’cause I didn’t have the camera with me, I assure you. I’ve been pretty lax with the bug pictures this year, haven’t I?

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What was UP with Jacqueline’s lips?! When she had them plumped up during the show they looked ok. Last night her top lip was so puffy I thought it might be hives or something.

I actually didn’t notice her lips, I’ll have to look closer when I watch the second part of the reunion later today!

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The foster kittens are doing well. Phyllis the cranky (it’s really too bad the name “Angela” was taken, because it would have been perfect for her, she’s TOTALLY Angela from The Office!) is still cranky if you pick her up or pet her for too long or look at her the wrong way, but she’s also got snugglebug tendencies. I took a nap yesterday afternoon, and she climbed up on me (I barely felt her laying on me, she’s such a tiny thing!) and napped as well. All three kittens are inordinately interested in sticking their heads in our mouths, I don’t know if they’re trying to figure out what we’ve been eating or just wondering if they could fit in our mouths (I bet Phyllis could come close) or what.

They’re all three such sweet things (Dwight LOVES Fred, climbs up into his lap every evening when we’re watching TV), and so laid-back that I know they’ll get adopted quickly.

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Newt has apparently located the coolest spot in the house. Most days he can be found in this corner of the kitchen, snuggled up behind the mixer.

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Previously
2008: I am fully aware that y’all are going to tell me that the shirt is too big, but what you need to keep in mind is SHUT UP.
2007: I figure it’s the goddamn circle of life and all that.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: I know I did the same lazy-ass, stupid-ass shit, and in retrospect she didn’t beat me nearly enough.
2002: Fred: Hey. You’re married to an old white man.
2001: No entry.
2000: I’m having a klutzy day.

Ever see the movie Snatch?

Maybe… is Snatch the movie where you can’t understand a fucking word they’re saying? Because I think we made it about ten minutes before we turned it off.

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There was a man,convicted of many counts of murder,who killed prostitutes and fed some of them to his pigs, here in my province. It happened in a suburb of Vancouver, BC not too long ago. Google Robert “Willy” Picton

AGH.

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Robyn, surely someone has sent you this from CNN.

Our chickens really like donuts, too. But we don’t make ’em cross the road – we deliver!

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Did Beulah and Bessie get adopted yet?

I have been deliberately ignoring this question all week because I knew y’all would have a cow if you knew Beulah was sitting in a cage at the pet store.

Now I can announce that she has, in fact, been adopted – I guess she was adopted on Tuesday. Bessie, however, is still there (in fact, I’ll be seeing her in a little while when I go to clean cages at the pet store!). There seem to be a large number of black cats and kittens available right now, so it could be a little while before she’s adopted, unfortunately.

I can report that I saw both Beulah and Bessie last Friday when I cleaned cages, and they were both perfectly happy to be out and about, and they ran and played and let me snuggle with them.

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The guy in the cat yodeling video who holds the cats looks a LOT like Fred!

It’s that whole geeky engineer thing.

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I don’t know how you wash your bras but you aren’t sticking them in the dryer, are you?

Nope! I wash them in the washing machine on the “hand wash” setting, and then hang them up to dry. I suppose I should be actually washing them by hand if I’m really concerned about making them last, shouldn’t I?

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About your cart-stealing “person:” I’m surprised how people manage to get through life being so clueless. I would not have the nerve to take someone’s stuff out of their cart and throw it somewhere. Could they have, oh, I don’t know, gotten the cart when they first came in the store? It’s too bad you didn’t come out and catch her (him?) in the act. Now THAT would have been a great entry!

Oh, I’ve gone into stores and not gotten a cart when I first walked in, but instead of STEALING SOMEONE ELSE’S CART when I realize I need one, I haul my ass back to the front of the store and get one.

I’m getting steamed about the whole damn thing again – whoever stole my cart is just LUCKY that I didn’t walk out while they were stealing it, because I was so pissed about the whole bra-trying-on thing that I probably would have bitch-slapped them.

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Did you watch the I’m a celebrity get me out of here telehorror last night? We laughed our you know whats off. I think this might be my guilty pleasure this summer along with Wipeout.

I didn’t – I ought to check it out. I hear those annoying kids from The Hills were total whiny-bitch babies.

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i used to have cats all the time as a kid and they had kittens so i use to have cats and kittens, i just moved out to my aunts and she lives in a different provence than my mom and dad. she got her first cat not too long ago, it was a stray that was kind of thrust onto her or something. anywho she got a cat, its a small thing fully grown , and it goes in heat none stop more then a regular cat should , she does not have the money to get it fixed at the moment as she is a single mom with 2 teens and 1 kid . i came to help out but i don’t have the money eather at the moment anyway , the kids let the cat out when she was in heat about 3 weeks ago and i can tell she is prego , this is my aunts and her kids first pet minus the beta that they had that the cat ate on arriving here . and no one is happy about the joys of kittens , is there a way other then bringing her to the vet and waiting out the 64 days, to see if she is prego and how do i get my aunt and cuzs more cuddly to the idea and ready for them if she is.

I don’t know that there’s a way to find out for sure if she’s pregnant or not – I am married, after all, to a man who thought that Maxi was pregnant again, only to find out that he was apparently feeling her liver rather than a kitten’s head – so I’m going to throw this out to the readers. Anyone know?

As far as getting your Aunt and cousins cuddly to the idea and ready for them – well, I’m at a loss there, too. Readers? Help?

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Wow. Are these gardens and animals all at your house? Would you like a 10 year old for the summer? She is a hard worker and it would save me money on camp..she’d have a blast!

I would LOVE to have a 10 year-old helper – however, have you ever seen the way a very hungry kitten is when you try to take away her food? She gets all growly and hissy and smacks at you with her sharp little claws? That’s how Fred is about his farm chores. He does NOT like to share.

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Yes, what is that scary thing on the nest?

That’s a red wasp. Evil-looking, aren’t they?

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I know you guys have a lot of chickens but wow…when you see a bunch of them in the yard like that, that’s a lot of chickens!!

And that’s not even counting the approximately 50 chickens (mostly baby chicks) that are in the maternity yard!

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how the heck do you tell George and Gracie apart? Is one bigger than the other? They sure are purdy, love seeing pics of them on “duty”

George is quite a bit larger than Gracie. And in my opinion, Gracie’s way prettier than George – smarter, too. George is a great big loveable lunkhead – he’s the muscles of the operation, and Gracie’s the brains.

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What ever happened with the Copper Marans?

They’re mingling with the rest of the flock in the Maternity yard right now. Of the 40 eggs we started out with, we have 7. It was a complete balls-up and a waste of money, in my opinion. Fred’s offered them up for sale, but so far we’ve had no takers.

So many people have shown interest in Buff Orpingtons that I’ve tried to convince Fred that we should have a flock of Buffs, instead. Their eggs don’t sell for as much, but they’re a pretty popular breed of chicken.

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Have you ever thought of making Tomato Jam with your tomatoes?

I can’t say that I have – though now that you mention it, I feel like someone might have sent me a recipe for Tomato Jam (maybe it was green tomato jam??). I’ll have to dig through my recipe pile and see if I can’t find it!

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I have a request for you Miz Robyn. I need a little favor and you are just the person with the skills to meet my needs.
I am in need of a private go to rant/mantra that I can recite to myself, silently since I usually need it at work. The rant needs to be foul, aimed at the useless, talentless, asshat mother####### who make my life miserable through their stupidity. I could have used it 3 times this morning before 8 AM. I need your help Obi-Wan. You are my only hope!!!!!

Really, the only suggestion I have is the simplest: Fuck. You can make it short and concise as you mouth it to yourself: Fuck. Or you can drag it out: Fuuuuuuuuuuck. You can make a sentence out of it: Fucking fuck fuck FUCK. Start quiet (in your mind), go loud. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUUUUCK. I don’t think there are any other words in the English language that are as satisfying.

If someone has said something in particular, you can repeat what they’ve said to yourself, adding “fuck” as many times as possible. “Elaine, have you got the TPS Report? I need it by noon!” can become “I’ve got your fucking T(fucking)P(fucking)S Re-fucking-port right the fuck here, you fucking fuckface and you can go fuck yourself I’ll get it to your stupid fucking face when I fucking get around to it. Fucker. Fuck noon! Fuck yourself!”

Just be careful not to let it gain volume so that you end up saying it out loud.

Then you’d really be fucked!

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Robyn, could you handle taking a Vitamin B (complex) supplement? Vit B makes your blood smell and taste terrible to mosquitoes. I haven’t been bitten by a mosquito in about 20 years. And they used to LOVE me.

Thanks, all y’all, for your mosquito-repelling ideas. I do take a Vitamin B complex, but I’m kind of lackadaisical about it, so maybe I’ll step it up and see if that works. Also, I’m going to give the “Off” clip-on a try, and also the “Bounce” suggestion.

I say throw everything at the problem and see what sticks, eh?

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Also, why not sell your extra tomato sauce, like you did the HabJam?

‘Cause it’s frozen, not canned – and since tomato sauce has to be pressure canned, I can only can four jars at a time. AND making tomato sauce is a pain in the ass. I much prefer to cut up the tomatoes, dehydrate them, and use them for stir-fries, put them in lasagna and chili, stuff like that. Worry not – not one single tomato will go to waste, I’ll make sure of it!

It’s kind of funny, how much I’m looking forward to the tomatoes this year. I used to LOATHE tomatoes when I was a kid. Now I can’t get enough of ’em.

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What you need to know about Phyllis:

Girlfriend has got some LUNGS. And if you don’t do what she wants when she wants you to do it (ie, give her FOOD), she lets you know how displeased she is.

I made the mistake of giving the kittens Gerber chicken and gravy – yes, baby food; it’s like crack for kittens – and now they won’t touch any canned kitten food. I’m trying to fatten up Phyllis, who is TINY (she weighed 1 pound, 3 ounces on Sunday), and she’s not much interested in hard food, and she turns her nose up at canned food, so baby food it is.

Spoiled brat. But I really have no one but myself to blame!

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Previously
2008: I’m surprised the mail lady hasn’t demanded a color-and-consistency report.
2007: Y’all don’t fuck with Sheriff Twitty, now.
2006: Do not, if you’re going to be more than 5 minutes away from home, wear brand-new underwear shopping.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Fred always says “You blame EVERYTHING on the fact that you’re about to have your period, having your period, or just HAD your period!” Well, duh.
2002: 26 things you may not know about me.
2001: No entry.
2000: Why, oh why, does writing snotty letters amuse me so?

It looks like we might have a rain-free weekend. I’m not counting on it, but I sure am hoping like hell that it happens!

My plans for this weekend? Cleaning the house (including the bathrooms, ugh) and doing some laundry. That’s about as exciting as it’ll get, I’m afraid.

What are your plans for this weekend? Tell me – I want to live vicariously through you.

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Ha, in the last photo I thought Suggs was telling YOU not to sniff his HRBL and I was all like what!!! Then I realized you ment him to be talking to Kara, it is Kara on the left, right?

Trust me, I stay as far away from the cats’ HRBLs as possible. I have no desire to get anywhere near them!

That is Kara, but the orange cat is actually Newt, not Sugarbutt. Sugarbutt’s so laid-back, he’d probably let just about anyone sniff his harbl.

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What is a harbl?

It’s internet speak for one’s private area.

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I love Jill and Bethenny but Alex doesn’t get enough credit for being smart, articulate and genuine. She and Simon definitely have their own drummer, but I think there’s more to them than what the show wants to portray.

I couldn’t stand Alex and Simon the first season, but I have to admit that they’re actually starting to grow on me. I still find Simon a wee creepy, but he managed to amuse me several times this season. The fact that he was such a good sport about playing against Ramona and Mario (the sweatband killed me!) really said a lot. Their taste in, well, ANYTHING might not be something I’d go for, but bless ’em for knowing what they want and going for it.

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OK, is it just my cats who are totally offended by closed doors? That goes hand-in-hand with not being able to use the bathroom unescorted. It’s amusing to close a door just to see their lil furry paws reach under it like they’re gonna touch something (OK, that’s not too smart, but I’ll give them A for effort.) Serious trauma if we close our bedroom door. There’s something about the way they slam their bodies against the door over and over makes it a difficult to sleep. They are single-minded in their intensity. That whole lack of attention span goes out the door when they encounter a closed door, at least for a good long while. Smart little critters. I can’t imagine not being owned by a cat or ten.

Oh, it’s definitely not just you – cats always want to be on whatever side of the door they’re not on. They’re inside? They want out. Won’t let them into a certain room? They MUST get in there! I’m forever seeing little furry paws slide under the bathroom door (that’s right, I kick the cats out of the bathroom when I need to go – who the hell wants an audience??). I think they’re under the mistaken impression that they can force the door open with one paw and the force of their desire to be in the room with me.

Fred sleeps with his bedroom door closed and at this point – two years later – the cats have pretty much adjusted to not being able to go into his room. Sometimes one of them will dig at the door, but for the most part they stay away from it. But in the morning when they know he’s up and about to come out the door? Kara and Tommy linger outside his door, and more often than not, Kara goes hauling ass in there. I don’t know why she has such a strong desire to get into his room, but it’s her lifelong dream to have free access to Fred’s room.

Good luck to her, I say.

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It really is okay to remove those tags from items once you decide to keep them. None of that “Do not remove under penalty of law crap.” Besides, who would turn you in? Nance? Just sayin’.

It was more because I hadn’t noticed the tag was there ’til I saw the picture than out of a desire to remain unarrested. Plus, I always tend to tear the seam when I rip the tag off, and I hate it when that happens.

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Oh, one more thing – It didn’t take Beulah long to grow into herself, did it?

It certainly didn’t!

First picture taken around April 10th; second picture on May 15th.

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Oh my god, how in the HELL did that guy keep a straight face in that video??? I just laughed until I wheezed!!!

That is an excellent question – every time I so much as THINK about making my cats yodel, it makes me grin like an idiot. The guys in that video are very good at keeping a straight face, aren’t they? Though Fred did point out – we don’t know how many takes it took to get the final product!

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I actually think that “Whack a Kitty” is mean! 🙁

Do you really? Is it because you think the kittens are getting hurt? Because I’m pretty sure they’re being very gentle with the kittens, and the kittens seem more confused about what’s going on than scared or hurt.

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Hey Robyn, I have to comment since I have been baking professionally for so many years and I have experimented with so many different ways to bake, yes you can freeze dough. You can also refrigerate it to slow down the fermentation until you have the time to pull it out, bring it back up to temp and proceed. With frozen dough just pull it, thaw it, shape it if you didn’t prior to freezing, and let it rise before baking. King Arthur Flour has some great recipes for different types of dough on their site.

Thanks, Tammy – I should have just asked you in the first place, I know you’re a professional baker!

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Speaking of geeks, may I just mention how delighted I was when I read “fewer chickens” and not “less chickens”? I prefer to think I’m not so much a geek as I am a person who takes pleasure in the small things.

I have to admit that I originally typed “less chickens”, then the alarm in my brain went off and I realized it wasn’t right. Geeks, unite! 🙂

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I don’t know if anyone else mentioned this or not, because I do not always read the comments. On the season finale episode of Criminal Minds, the unsub was killing people, chopping them up and feeding them to their pigs. Anyway, I thought of you and your pigs and was wondering if pigs would really eat “anything”. What do you think?

I am about 95% certain that if someone chopped up a human and tossed him in the pig yard, the pigs would eat every last scrap. After he processes chickens, Fred feeds the heads and feet to the pigs, and they don’t hesitate to finish every last bit of it.

Didn’t they feed people to pigs on Deadwood, or am I wrong about that? (I never watched the show.)

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Oh the new kitties! Are they long haired-they look quite fluffy!

No, they’re short-haired. It’s been a long time since we had any long-haired kittens, hasn’t it? And they’re always so cute, long-haired kittens.

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My cat had licked his stomach until he had a huge bald spot and some sores.The vet gave him a steroid shot a few weeks ago and it was like magic. No more licking. The sores healed and the hair is growing back. I tried that collar thing. He was still able to lick his damn self. WTH?

Yeah, I took Miz Poo to the vet and they gave her a steroid shot, but it didn’t stop her for one moment. I’ve started to think that it’s really a behavioral thing, and we’re trying to break the behavior pattern. If things don’t improve in the next week or so, I’ll take her to the vet.

When we had the collar on Sugarbutt, he was laying on my desk, and he oh-so-casually lifted his foot to his mouth and started licking vigorously. Fred tightened the collar, and he wasn’t able to reach anymore. I guess it all depends on how determined and how flexible they are!

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Actually I think the Polish crested looks like a TV evangelist. White suit and all.

I can see that, too!

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“We decided that what had happened is that Baby George had wandered out of the chicken yard at just the wrong time, and a cat had come along and scooped him up, and that was all she wrote.”

Robyn, when you write “a cat,” are you referring to one of your cats? I thought your cats were accustomed to the chickens. Do you ever worry about the cats killing the chicks/chickens?

We’ve actually had a Siamese cat hanging around our property lately. I don’t know if he’s feral or not, but if we try to approach him, he takes off. He seems to spend a lot of time hanging around the chicken yard (at least that’s where he hangs out until we go outside and scare him off), so it seemed like a possibility that he could have scooped up a chick.

Our cats definitely leave the bigger chickens alone – they usually leave the baby chicks alone, too. If they show too much interest in the little chicks, we chase them away from the fence, and when I know there are little ones who are able to get out of the chicken yard, I try to keep a closer eye on them. It’s only happened once or twice that Maxi’s gotten hold of a little chick, and really you can’t blame her – she’s an animal, after all, and she’s just following her instincts. I don’t have to like it (and I don’t!), but I can understand it.

We’ve just about gotten to the point where the littlest chicks can no longer get out of the chicken yard, luckily. Fred went through and reinforced the chicken wire along the inside of the chicken yard, and blocked off a hole near the gate where they were slipping through.

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Great pic of Maxi too. I am assuming that the old kittens and the new kittens are kept separated, is that right?

Yeah, we keep the fosters separate from our cats for at least two weeks after we get them, just to be safe. Then we give them more freedom, a little at a time. First they get the run of their room and the bathroom as well, then the run of the entire upstairs. Then, if that seems to be going well, after a few days we let them out into the rest of the house. These guys will probably only be around for two weeks total, so I don’t think they’ll be mingling with our cats.

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Creed says, “Pardon me, ma’am, may I have an ear scratch?”

Look at Phyllis, pretending to be a sweet little thing instead of the hellion she really is. “I am just a wee baby kitten and I need kisses!”

Dwight’s all “Who, me? What? Just playing!”

“Hewwo.”

He really does look like a Precious Moments character, doesn’t he?

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Joe Bob, meowing his creepy, quiet, high-pitched meow. He sounds like a ghost.

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Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: What the hell do people who aren’t readers DO?
2002: Oh, don’t give me that disapproving look.
2001: Have I mentioned that we lead a charmed life?
2000: Tomorrow, we’ll return to your usual rambling bitchypoo.

I’m sorry the divider line thing confused a bunch of you yesterday – I tend to just type ’em in and then not think about them again. I’m glad you figured it out. I’ll beat divider line with a wet kitten and hopefully it won’t happen again.

(But you know it will!)

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Yesterday my mother and I got out of the house and did some shopping. We hit TJ Maxx and Kohl’s, and then stopped by PetSmart to pick up some cat food. I was intent on buying nothing but cat food, but the minute I walked through the door, the employee who greeted me pointed out that there were a bunch of cat toys on sale, and although the last thing our damn cats need is more toys, I stocked up anyway.

(What can I say? They were priced REALLY well, and I’m a sucker for cat toys.)

And hey – if anyone out there subscribes to Cat Fancy magazine and wants to send that coupon for a free 3.5-pound bag of Royal Canin Babycat my way, feel free!

So after we browsed through PetSmart, we headed to the mall. I ran out of the Victoria’s Secret So Sexy shampoo I’ve been using for years (I always imagine a man with a cheesy mustache crooning “My lady is soooooo sexy” when I say the name of the damn shampoo) a few weeks ago and I bought some cheap-ass stuff at Big Lots, but I’ve really been missing the So Sexy (I love the smell of it), so it was time to get some more.

We wandered through the mall a bit, browsed Bath and Body Works, checked out Dillard’s, then I bought my shampoo and we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch. I’d never been there before and we had no idea how things work (you choose what you want, then choose what kind of BBQ sauce you want on it, then what you want for a side. We were a little confused, to say the least.) It was good, but I don’t know that I’d ever go out of my way to eat there again.

She’d mentioned maybe looking for a Coldwater Creek, and I knew that Bridge Street Town Centre had one, so I took her there. It was really the first time I’d been there (except for a trip to Red Robin when my sister and Brian were here), and it was nice to walk and look at the stores, but it’s mostly upscale clothing stores, so I didn’t buy anything. I did find out that Bath and Body Works and Victoria’s Secret both have stores there. Given that Bridge Street is very close to the mall, I’m wondering how long stores in both locations will stay open.

Then we came home, where my father was hanging out with the kittens (he was more than happy to stay home rather than go shopping. Go figure!), hung out for a while, and then had dinner at Logan’s Roadhouse, which was excellent as always.

(I discovered that my mother and Fred both share a dislike of cheese. Well. They like cheese, just not on a salad. Or a burger. I never knew that about my mother before now.)

Today, I need to get some dog treats made ’cause we’re running low. Also, I’ve got to wrangle the baby chickens and release them into the fenced area around the little chicken coop. Baby chickens outside in the sun are some happy little birds, believe you me.

(Also, this house desperately needs vacuuming, especially the foster room!)

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That baby kitteh is creepy looking. She reminds me of Gollum. Every time you post a picture of her, I think I hear her hissing, “Where is my preciousssssssss.”

Awww, mean! (But funny – and I have to admit that I can see it!)

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If you do end up with Beulah, how many cat beds will you need to purchase? Don’t want to tick Miz Poo off – she might swatch poor Beulah out of a bed, and she would go flying out the window…

I think if we get any more cat beds, we very well might have to get a whole new house to put the cat beds in. We’re running out of room for them unless I just start randomly putting them in the middle of the rooms.

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OMG, that kitty is SO cute… hmm – how about for names, Gizmo? (he’s the gremlin dude)… or Stripe was the other… but, Gizzy sounds pretty cool

Well, my brother has a cat named Gizmo, actually, so it’d be kind of weird to give one of our cats the same name – assuming we’re keeping her, that is, and at this point we’re kind of swinging the other way on that decision. We’ll see.

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I am THRILLED that Beulah/~ is on the road to becoming a permanent member of the household!!! And Val asked the question I intended to ask. I’m guessing, what, four or five beds per cat?

Without actually walking through the house and counting them, we have approximately 21 cat beds in the house – that’s just actual cat beds and does not include places to sleep on the cat tree, or kitty condos and things of that sort. It also includes the five cat beds we usually keep in the guest bedroom, so that number drops by five whenever we have guests.

10 cats, 21 beds. That’s not so outrageous, is it?

Oh, wait. Make that 22 – I just remembered the one on Fred’s desk!

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My grandma used to have these white glass eggs that she put under the hens. Were those to make broody hens lay eggs? I can’t remember and she and my Daddy are gone so I can’t ask either one of them. DAMN–there is always some unasked question I want answered by those two!!!

I believe – and Fred can correct me if I’m wrong – that they put golf balls in nest boxes so that the hens know where to lay, so maybe the glass eggs were for the same reason. Though if the glass eggs your grandma put under the hens were cold, maybe it was to break them from being broody? I know that one of the things you can do to break a broody hen is to put ice under her.

Having a block of ice under me would cure me of my broodiness right damn quick!

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You haven’t mentioned that the Countess is separated from her husband! I wonder if she can still call herself Countess after the divorce is final? Jill’s apartment is hideous! And I wonder what they did with all their old stuff because it didn’t look like they kept a single thing. I just hope the New Jersey housewives are as entertaining and batshit crazy.

I’m pretty sure the Countess will be keeping her title – I’ve read that in several places, at least. Though I wonder how that happens – if the Count remarries, does his new wife not get the title, or do all his exes get to keep their title, or what?

I’ve watched the New Jersey housewives premiere, and so far it looks very The Real Housewives of The Sopranos to me.

If someone could explain to me why so many of these women are under the mistaken impression that fake tans are something to strive for, I’d appreciate it.

(Also, that blonde is a dead ringer for a young Lorraine Bracco.)

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Boy, the picture of Ms. B and Mr. E really shows how tiny Ms. B. really is. She’s not the runt of the litter, she’s THE RUNT!

She’s like a superhero, wearing a tiny little cape and flying through the air with the greatest of ease (or being carried through the air with the greatest of ease, anyway). SUPER RUNT!

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I don’t know why you’re thinking of renaming Beulah. She looks like a Beulah. I think it fits her perfectly! And yes, you’re keeping her!

While I do agree that she looks like a Beulah, my great-grandmother’s name was Beulah, and I think it’d be weird to have a cat named after her.

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Can you ask your vast readership a question for me, please? Does anyone know of a cell phone you can get that doesn’t have an activation fee or monthly fees and has minutes that don’t expire? I am trying to find one for my grandmother who will maybe use the phone once every decade. I just want her to have one in case of an emergency when she’s out driving. The “disposable” phones I have tried thus far don’t have activation/monthly fees, but you can only purchase minutes that last for a certain length of time before they expire. & of course, the less you spend, the sooner the minutes expire. It’s so frustrating, especially because this kind of information isn’t listed on the packaging. Is there really no such thing as an “emergency only” cell phone?

Lots of people had suggestions in my comments, but just in case anyone out there doesn’t read my comments regularly and didn’t see Shelly’s question, I’m posting it here in case one of you has any additional ideas.

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This is an article about the new Jackie Warner show on Bravo.

Is it wrong that I’m kind of disappointed? I’d much rather see Jackie Warner and her hot trainers (to be truthful, I’m more interested in the hot trainers than Jackie. I don’t have a crush on Jackie, because she scares me a little. She’s so intense!) than Jackie Warner taking over a gym and making it run right.

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you made me cry with the baby chick that was getting pecked! damn chickens. leave the baybee alone!

If it helps any, they weren’t really picking on the baby chick – someone pecked at the top of her head because they thought it might be food, made her bleed, and seeing blood made the other baby chicks peck too. The Blue Kote both disinfects the wound and covers the red so that the other chicks won’t peck at her. She’ll be fine, don’t worry about her.

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I was watching Alton Brown the other day and he was making some french chicken dish (Co Co La Vin or something like that) and it calls for a rooster. He went thru a speech saying the stores won’t carry them etc etc…and I thought wow, Robyn could make it correctly. Well, until I saw all the steps and said Robyn has way too many more interesting things to do with her time than to make that dish. lol

and

I think Audri is correct; I think you have much more important things to do than make this! But it sure sounds really good!

It does sound really good, but just looking at the ingredient list made me need a nap. The entire recipe made me need two naps. I’m not sure I’ll ever be up for making anything that requires that much work for one dish.

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I belong to kiva.org and I’ve made 13 loans of $25 each so far (many of them with the money I’ve been repaid from the first people I’ve loaned to). Have you ever considered making a loan to an entrepreneur in a third-world country? For some reason, this woman made me think of you. 🙂

That very well might be the neatest thing I’ve seen this week! It’s kind of amazing what you can help accomplish with $25, isn’t it?

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My mom always said that when you can’t find them (cats/kittens), but you know that they are there; that they have gone into Cat Space. It’s like a 4th dimension that humans can’t see. Our cats would always do that.

I’m imagining cats in tiny space suits, floating around and trying to jump on each other in a zero gravity setting. Phinneas would kick ass as a kitty astronaut!

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I thought Beulah was going to be called “Pip”? *nudge nudge wink wink*!!

After she spent ten minutes perching on my shoulder yesterday morning, I’m thinking Polly might be a good name for her, too! (Also, given her size, Polly Pocket!)

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So Tommy the Playa likes the younger women, huh?

He’s a man whore with an eye for the younger ladies, and they likes him back.

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It would be helpful if you could also put the day of the week at the top of your entries too so I can tell at a glance if you’ve updated or not, i.e. Thursday April 16. Thanks for your consideration.

Howzabout the date, with the day in parentheses after? I can’t guarantee I’ll remember every time, but I’ll certainly give it the ol’ college try.

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Robyn, can you repost the recipe for the mushroom risotto? There’s nothing at the link on your recipe page.

Can you see it now? If not, let me know and I’ll post it in my Monday entry (or email it to you if you need it before then! We’re actually having it tonight with mushrooms).

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Beulah does look like an alien! I love the photos with her next to the other cats, she looks so tiny and precious! That first photo with her and Tommy looks like she is saying “I can has coolness?”

I have to confess – Tommy was actually less than impressed with Super Runt, and he had just hissed at her when I snapped the picture. She immediately went submissive and laid down in front of him.

Tommy likes ’em submissive.

Oh, my question: Have you ever submitted your pictures to Cute Overload?

Every time someone says “You should totally submit this picture to Cute Overload”, I do. Apparently they’re not impressed. Bastards!

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I used to shop WalMart exclusively. But then, something happened. It got more crowded, and with ruder people. People who didn’t look where they were going with their carts, who didn’t mind bumping into you while you were standing considerately on the sideline scrutinizing your choices. And then WalMart implied I should ring up and bag my own purchases (which sounded good to me at first) but then sabotaged the experience with the whiny B voice ordering me to bag an item or accusing me of not bagging a light one. Gah.

That goddamn “PLACE YOUR ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA” really makes me want to go on a shooting rampage, and I avoid the self-checkout as much as possible, but when I have to deal with the self-checkout and that fucking voice starts up with me, I tend to talk back to it. I don’t swear at it, but I am SERIOUSLY TEMPTED.

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I was one of those annoying-ass people who was blocking the end of the aisle the other day. I was just hanging out there, talking to my parents, and then I turned around and saw a woman patiently standing there waiting to get by me. At least I immediately moved and apologized when I saw her. That gets me points, right?

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I remember that a while back you used sisal rope on the cat tree in the foster kitty room. Was there a certain way you wrapped it around the poles? Did you glue it into place? I am sick of the little bits of carpet coming off our cat tree from the shredded carpet on the poles, so I’m going to buy some sisal rope and try to get some more life out of that cat tree.

I’m embarrassed to admit that while I did get a shit-ton of sisal from an eBay auction, it’s still in the unopened box and it’s been six months or more since I got it.

Me = procrastinator.

I do remember reading up on it, though, and what I recall is that you’re supposed to use glue, wind the rope around the pole as tightly as possible (use a hammer to tamp the rope down regularly during the winding process), then put a nail in the end of the sisal to help hold it all in place.

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You can’t think of three things you can’t live without??? Uhm…Miz Poo, Sugarbutt, and Beulah ring a bell??? As much as I curse about my cats, I can’t imagine a day without them.

In the question, I understood “things” to mean “possessions”, and since I consider our cats to be part of our family and not “things”, they certainly didn’t come to mind. Which I think was clear by the answer I gave.

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Go to the Land o Lakes website and you can print coupons, to use on top of that Walmart price. There are some great coupon sites out there telling you how to save. Try www.hip2save.com and check out some of her links to other sites.

Great link! I’ve already added it to my list of sites to check first thing in the morning!

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So, to be honest, I’m waffling about whether I want to permanently keep Beulah. I do like her, and she’s a sweet little thing, but the peace among our cats is tenuous in the best of times, and I really don’t know that I want to add another cat to the permanent population.

I know, I know. Y’all love her and you want to see her grow up and you don’t believe I could ever give her up, but y’all say that about AN AWFUL LOT OF THE KITTENS I FOSTER.

No permanent decision has been made and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of waffling ahead, but if anyone out there is seriously interested in adopting her – or any of the fosters! – let me know and I’ll send you the name and number for the shelter manager.

Though the kittens are enthralled with Miz Poo, she hasn’t got much use for them. I did catch her playing with them briefly yesterday, though. She’s like Ouiser from Steel Magnolias – (I’m pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the son of a bitch ‘fore I couldn’t help myself.) She saw the kittens playing, and she played with them before she could help herself. But then she caught herself and hissed at them and ran away.

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Smilin’ Joe Bob. He’s such a bad boy!

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Previously
2008: “So, would you want a pregnant cat?” she asked hopefully.
2007: It can’t happen soon enough, if you ask me.
2006: Taking the week off.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: “Helloooooo, Fancypants! Hey, buddy, whatchoo doin’?” I said in my special Fancypants voice.
2002: Know what I’m thinking? Psycho stalker, desperate to come into the house, rape and rob us and leave us for dead, stealing the computers and the big-screen TV on the way out.
2001: I should have stayed in bed this morning.
2000: No entry.

Hey, did you know that Sunday is Easter? I had no idea ’til I looked at the calendar yesterday and saw it written there.

Who the fuck knew?

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Can you hear the sound? I tested the website with some of the younger staff at my office. They hear the noise and tell me it’s rather annoying. I could not tell you – no noise for me or a couple of my co-workers in my age range – 35-45.

I did hear it, actually! And then I made Fred sit down and listen, and the first time he didn’t hear it, and the second time he could “kind of” hear it. This must mean I have young ears, right? It sure does seem like everyone’s mumbling a lot lately, though.

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While you count up the chicks, they may be counting y’all, too.

“Chicks can do basic arithmetic“

Too neat!

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Do you find living near the church noisy? You two wake up early so I guess it’s ok.

I actually don’t ever hear anything from the church. The only annoying thing is that on Wednesdays and Sundays, George and Gracie feel the need to defend our property from the churchgoing interlopers, and they bark and bark and bark. Other than that, I hardly ever notice the church is there at all.

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In your 2006 Previously, you said that Fred was no help because he was standing there laughing his ass off. Wasn’t that what he was doing the other day when you were stuck in the mud? Does he do this often? Ha ha!

Apparently he does it ALL THE TIME, I just never noticed before. The unhelpful bastard!

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Hmmm…. I’m wondering if you would consider trading a year of blog banners for Beulah? My 17yo cat, Katie, died nearly a year ago, and we’ve not gotten another. Perhaps it’s time we think about getting a new kitty? Just thinking (typing) out loud here…

Um. Perhaps not Beulah… 🙂

For the record, anyone adopting one of our foster kittens would have to go through Challenger’s House, the shelter I volunteer for (the fosters don’t actually belong to me) and there’s an adoption fee involved.

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Your freaky kitten reminds me of gremlins. For years after the movie came out, I had nightmares about the creepy gremlins. *Bright light! Bright light!*

I have to admit – I can see that!

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Ok – just go ahead and adopt Beulah! By the time the girl hits 2 pounds, she will be so interwined into your family, you won’t be able to part with her. So just go ahead and do it so we don’t have to be in suspense for the next 4 or 5 months.

Shhhh… I have a plan. Don’t tell Fred (I didn’t copy him on the notify email, so I’m sure he’ll never read this), but I expect it to take months before she’s big enough to be spayed. Then I’m sure I can eke another 6 months by telling him there’s just no room at the pet store, and after that, I guarantee he’ll have forgotten that he objected to her becoming another one of ours.

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One way to avoid getting sick from chicken is an old-timey Caribbean way of cleaning your chicken; take a lime or lemon and some salt and scrub the chicken with it and then rinse well. I always do this with our chicken (sometimes I skip the salt), but always with the lemon/lime. I think it’s the citric acid that helps prevent salmonella. Also, the rinsing doesn’t leave a lemon or lime taste to the chicken.

Conveniently, I just bought a big bag o’ lemons at Sam’s! I knew they’d come in handy eventually!

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With the kittens out and about, you have 17 cats running around your house?

Once they actually have free reign of the house, yeah. There’ll be 17. I feel a little faint at the thought.

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Spanky = Barry White. Yeah. That photo made me think that. Like Spanky has this alter ego that sashays off to an undisclosed Crooked Acre room where he slips on a velvet smoking jacket and tickles the ivories…. Wait a minute. Isn’t Spanky the one who meower is broken? Good thing I came back to reality before the singing commenced.

No, that was Spot! Spanky’s got a perfectly good meower, and he uses it regularly. Here’s a movie of his verbal prowess I shot back when we lived in Madison:

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I recently received a Harriet Carter brochure in the mail and when I came across this item I thought of you and the egg buyers.

I’m not sure it would work for me because I’m so spooked by everything already that the alarm would probably scare me as much as strangers showing up in my yard unannounced. For instance, I tried one of those timed air fresheners and all it did was scare the bejesus out of me every 9 minutes, had to throw it away.

I also saw this and thought of you.

For some reason I love those Harriet Carter brochures although I have yet to buy anything from them.

I ADORE the Harriet Carter catalogs, I get them too, and I always look through them. I don’t believe I’ve ever actually bought anything from them, but that doesn’t stop them from sending them to me!

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ARGH! I HATE the term panties-it just sends shivers down my spine and makes me think of an old, nasty pedophile lusting after young children. A co-worker once found out I hate this word, and spent the better part of a week using it in almost every sentence.

My sister and I once found out that our friend Liz hates the word “snatch”, so we tried to work it into every conversation. “Don’t snatch that out of my hand!” and “Snatch that CD and hand it to me, would you?” We are so juvenile.

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A day late and a dollar short, but I really HATE when people feel the need to use an apostrophe for plurals. I’ve been noticing it more and more lately. I actually have a cousin who is VERY stupid and named her child Lar’s. WITH AN APOSTROPHE!!! GAH!!!!!

BEST COMMENT OF THE WEEK. This made me HOWL.

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If I taught English and someone handed me in an essay with text-speak, I would put U FAIL LOL at the top, followed by, NO SRSLY; NO A 4 U, and KTXBAI!

OTHER BEST COMMENT OF THE WEEK. HEE.

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Two things. First, I think you should keep Beulah, she is just too small and you and Fred are the only ones that will take excellent care of her. (At least that sounds like a good excuse. Doesn’t it?) Second, did you watch RHoNY and then a sneak peek at RHoNJ? Man, I would just like to smack Kelly!!!! She is on something, no one can act that weird/goofy/strange. And do you think she has rosacea, or her own tanning bed? My husband hates the RH shows, but I cannot turn them off. Is there something wrong with me?

Last night, I made a crucial step in the Beulah Project – I got Fred to discuss names for her. We were watching Yes Man (which was a really damn funny movie – I love Jim Carrey. And could Bradley Cooper be any prettier? That is one pretty, pretty man.) and I said “Tillie would be a perfect name for her!”

He immediately said “NO!” (as in, “No, we’re not keeping that kitten!”) But later on when we were laying in bed talking, he said “Well, it should be short for something, shouldn’t it?” and I said “Matilda!” Then we started joking around, and I said we should name her “Matilde” and call her “Tilde” and spell it like this: ~

(We probably found that far too amusing, for we are dorks.)

I did get a chance to watch the Real Housewives yesterday, and I say:

1. Mario is a douchebag and he and Ramona take themselves FAR too importantly. Have you ever noticed that the people least deserving of respect love to go on and on about how they’re being disrespected? I love that Bethenny thought of Simon to play with Jill, but man – Simon needs some new tennis clothes. I still think he’s creepy, but watching him play the worst game of tennis ever made me laugh and laugh. LOVED the sweatband.

2. I think that’s a fake tan Kelly has going on. It just looks wrong to me. And she can go on and on about that guy (what the hell was his name?) being so good-looking, but I’m not seeing it. I guess he’s marginally good-looking, and he seems like a nice guy, but I’m not blown away by him or anything. I can absolutely see what Bethenny means about Kelly not being genuine; ever moment of that date rang false to me, like Kelly was putting on a show. I don’t like her, but bless her for coming through for the charity (although I recently read that her ex-husband is refusing to follow through on taking the winning bidder’s portrait and Bethenny is offering up her ex-boyfriend (I’m assuming the photographer Kelly spent all that time flirting with) to do the job.)

3. I don’t really care for the new look of Jill’s apartment – Bethenny was right about it looking like Liberace lived there – and I really don’t like those little mirrored tables, but I think it kind of suits Jill. Actually, now that I think about it, it looks a little Graceland-y to me.

If loving the cheesy reality Housewives shows is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!

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She is too cute – is she a little crosseyed?

She’s actually a bit wall-eyed. Katherine sent me an email earlier this week that made me laugh and laugh.

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I had a Beulah comment too – is it okay for her to be that tiny? It sounds like she’s still gaining weight, but she just seems so itty bitty.

She seems perfectly healthy, and she’s gaining weight, all her systems seem to work okay (she’s a champ in the litter box, if we can just get her to stomp tromping through her poo!), so I think she’s fine. She’s just wee!

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Robyn, that little Beulah is so adorable. She looks so fragile so my heart says you must keep her and love her and protect her forever. Also, when I hear her name is reminds me of the times I stayed with my maternal grandparents on their farm and my grandmother would sing a hymn that went, “I’ve got home in Beulah-land that outshines the sun”. Has anyone ever heard of this song? Such good memories from those days on the farm where my grandmother raised chickens and my grandfather milked cows and had a milk route. I was a city girl and loved staying on their farm. You are living my childhood dreams, Robyn.

and Elayne said:

Jillybean: I’m familiar with the song, but have always heard it as “Glory Land” (aka heaven). (Google turns up references for both, to my surprise – I thought it’d be an individual adaptation.) Here’s a wiki article that explains how Beulah Land comes to equal heaven:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beulah_Land

Interesting!

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PS – remind me again why hens being broody is a bad thing? I know someone asked but I don’t remember the answer and don’t feel like googling (and getting sucked into six more hours of fascinating but time-sucking clickage).

I’m going to guess – and be kind to me if I’m wrong, because I’m totally ignorant, chicken-wise – that a broody hen doesn’t lay any more eggs because her body/hormones/whatever chickens have is focused on hatching the eggs that are already underneath her, so it’s undesirable for them to be broody because then they stop laying?

Yep, that’s exactly right – once they go broody and have a clutch of eggs underneath them, they stop laying, take up nesting boxes, and we end up with more chicks that we don’t really need!

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More kitten pics over at L&H.

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Miz Poo does not believe we need any more kittens in this here house.

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Previously
2008: Which means no entry for you!
2007: “Is it true that you’re fucking that evil woman, who just informed me that you are in love?”
2006: (See various entries I’ve written wherein I said that I’m bad in an emergency)
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Questions answered.
2002: No entry.
2001: Spring cleaning.
2000: No entry.