Author: Robyn

Whyyyyy? Amazingly, despite wanting to, I didn’t shell out the $22.whatever to buy one for myself. I mean, how would I put something that big on my dresser and then convincingly act like it had been there for ages when Fred asked? I sure would have liked to been able to put Miz Poo in it and push her around in it, though. She would have looked smashing, with the sneer and the squinty eyes, that’s for sure.

* * * So, the spud and I went out to breakfast this morning at IHOP (note to self: Just get the damn pancakes next time. You always tell yourself “Next time, I’m just going to get the pancakes, because they’re so damn good!”, and you always end up getting an omelet, which comes with a side of pancakes, and then you say “The pancakes are SO good. Just pancakes for me next time!”, ad infinitum. JUST PANCAKES NEXT TIME, DAMNIT!), then ran to Target, where I bought many things, but most importantly a cross-cut shredder. I needed the shredder because I read an article last night, and I thought about how much information someone could find out from our trash – I do rip up anything with account or banking information on it, but I’m no shredder – and I vowed to buy a shredder today, and shred everything from here on out. So I did, and I will. I used to have a shredder, but I burned it out by trying to shred too many things at once and never got another one. After we left Target, we stopped by Hallmark, where I bought some votive candles to go with gifts I bought for the spud to give her grandparents and father next Christmas (hee!), and I made out well, because I got three Christmas-scented candles at 75% off – for $1.17. And I wasn’t even particularly looking for a sale this time ’round! We went to Sam’s, where I stocked up on everything from shrimp to paper towels and batteries (my god I love Sam’s, have I mentioned?), ran to the post office (the newest US says, across the top, “Why Alyssa Dumped Justin!”, and you KNOW that I can’t wait to sit down and read THAT). After stopping at home to unload all the stuff we’d bought, we got back into the car and headed back out to look for a store one of the spud’s teachers mentioned as having cute bracelets. We found it – it’s called The Honeypot – and I glanced around, didn’t see anything I wanted, and went out to wait in the car for the spud. Several minutes later, having blown most of her allowance on cute bracelets, the spud wandered back out. And here we are. Exciting, no? * * * So, I asked for FAQ questions, and got several of them. Instead of just throwing them into an FAQ document and linking to it from the front page, I’m going to answer each question in journal entries, and link from the FAQ page to the entry where the question is answered. Does that make any sense at all? I have no idea. It’s so freaking cold in here that my fingertips are falling off. It’s my own fault for hoping that the 50+ degree days we had for most of the last week would last. Anyway. Here we go. Reader Jennah asks: I thought I read a long time ago in one of your journals that you had a dog, I was just wondering what happened to it? We did have a dog for a few weeks in the fall of 2001 – November , and there are more pictures here – and named her Sadie. She was a good dog, but she was kept in the back yard instead of in the house – something Fred and I disagree over; he thinks dogs belong outside, I think dogs should be allowed in the house – and it was hard for her being outside by herself all the time. Look, she was a good dog and all, but I’m not a dog person and I wasn’t going to spend a great deal of time outside playing with her because, honestly? Not only am I not a dog person, but I’m also not an outdoorsy type either. If she’d been allowed in the house, she could have sat adoringly at my feet, or chased the cats through the house sniffing at their asses and freaking them out. The more time she spent outside by herself, the more unruly she became, and it quickly got to the point where she wouldn’t listen to anyone but Fred. She seemed to think that the pecking order in the house went along the lines of Fred/ Sadie/ Robyn/ Spud/ Kitties, and I simply couldn’t get her to listen to me. It all came to a head one afternoon when Fred got home from work and went out back to play with her. The spud went out and joined them, and they spread a blanket on the lawn to sit on. Fred was throwing a ball for Sadie, and Sadie went after it, but not before going out of her way to jump over the spud. Her back paw came down on the spud’s head, leaving a gash, and that was all she wrote. The next day, she went back to the shelter (the no-kill shelter) from whence she’d come. It was Fred’s decision to get the dog, and it was his decision to take her back. I don’t know where Sadie is now, but I hope like hell she found the perfect family for her, and is snoozing happily by the fire right now. (back to FAQ page) Got a question you’d like answered? Ask away!]]>

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This would be Miz Poo, drinking out of the fountain I got for Christmas from the spud. We set it up and turned it on last night, and none of the cats showed any interest at all. This morning, with it turned on, Miz Poo slurped a gallon out of it. Most of the other cats were just freaked out. Because they’re freaks, o’ course. The spud and I went to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding this afternoon. It was a packed theater – more packed than when we went to see Maid in Manhattan on Christmas day, even. I think I missed about a third of the movie, because the other women – and one man – in the theater were laughing so loudly. Two thumbs up. I very well may have to buy it when it comes out on DVD. * * * PS: Did I mention that I turn 35 in one week? Whee!]]>

THAT is all about. Nothin’ but lies!

* * * Apparently some of the little bastards who live in our cul-de-sac (ie, “circle”) shot off fireworks from 11:50 pm – 1 am last night. Luckily, I slept through most of it, though at one point I woke up and thought Fancypants was doing his fancy, high-pitched meow, and I yelled for him to shut up, whereupon I went back to sleep. Fred, on the other hand, got up at midnight to work out and then went back to bed. Freak. I was so very pleased when I walked out the front door to find that they’d not only been doing it in the circle, but they’d also taken it upon their bastardly little selves to leave fireworks shit all over our front yard, driveway, and front steps. I have half a mind to go pick it all up and throw it in their fucking yard. Of course, the pain was assauged by the fact that I found a TEN DOLLAR BILL when I went out for my walk. A good way to start off 2003, yes indeedy. * * * So, do you like the new redesign? Becky designed the background and thought I might like it. Like it? Um, no. LOVE IT is more like it. I think this is going to be the look for 2003, because I’m tired of coming up with new looks each month, and I’m not particularly good at it. I also redesigned the front page, and it’s probably going to stay like that. And also, I got my 2003 reading list up and running, here. There’ll be a permanent link on the sidebar. * * * I was updating the Go Fuck Yourself ‘burb page last night, adding people who’d asked to be added (something I’m far too lax about), when I came across this rant, which I very much enjoyed (but I’m not a Paul McCartney fan, and if you are, don’t be bitching at me about it, mm’kay?). Upon looking further, I found something that made me laugh ’til I cried. Halfro. Hee! * * * Note to self: Add “Organize GFY page” to your mile-long to-do list. * * * Alright, that’s it for today, folks. Y’all have a lovely, relaxing day. I sure plan to!]]>

Nicole) I SHOULD be reading. Grate Lit-tra-tyurre can pretty much kiss my ass. Do I strike you as a reader of Grate Lit-tra-tyurre? I didn’t think so.

* * * I was sound asleep at 7:45 this morning (after slapping my alarm clock into submission at 7) when the phone rang. I thought it might be Fred calling with some more story ideas (he’s been having a lot lately), and so I didn’t bother to clear my throat before I croaked “Hello?” into the telephone. It was my friend Liz, who turned 35 yesterday. “Were you sleeping?” she asked. “Nooo…” I lied. “Yes you were!” she laughed. “Yeah, I was,” I admitted. I always claim I wasn’t sleeping when someone wakes me up by calling. Why is that? Why do I feel the need to deny it, when it’s clearly obvious by the sound of my voice that I just woke up? Liz does it too, for that matter. Liz turned 35 yesterday, I believe I mentioned. She lives at home with her mother, who is elderly and not doing too well, and her much older brother (I believe he’s in his 50s now). Yesterday, instead of being a lovely birthday, was apparently the day from hell, including a dead car (CAR, I said, people, not CAT), her mother falling down (she’s fine, but they kept her in the hospital for observation), and unresponsive nurses at the hospital (don’t flame me, nurse-readers. She said she went to get help when her mother was done with the bedpan, and the nurses looked at her and ignored her). This morning? An ice storm. I told her that with a start like that, her 36th year was going to be absolutely awesome. She said that that’s easy for someone who’s already married with a kid to say. She’s got me there. * * * The Christmas card stats for 2002 are as follows: Total cards sent out (not including family): 331 (this is way more than the 195 I sent out last year!) States receiving 10 or more cards: California (30), Illinois (19), Indiana (10), Missouri (10), New York (13), Ohio (19), Texas (20), Washington State (16). States who don’t love me and didn’t want a card: Arkansas, Delaware, Maine, Montana, Vermont, West Virginia, Wyoming. (The list is getting shorter!) Other countries receiving cards: Canada (20), New Zealand (4), Australia (4), United Kingdom (7), Sweden (2), Netherlands (1), Republic of Korea (1), Portugal (2), Germany (2), Trinidad (1). Most often recurring first names: Ami/ Amy (6), Cathy/ Kathy (10), Chris/ Christy/ Chris/ Kris/ Christine (11), Elizabeth (5), Heather (5), Jennifer/ Jen/ Jenn (9), Karen (6), Kimberly/ Kim (5), Lisa (6), Lori/ Laurie (5), Marianne/ Maryann/ Maryanne (7), Stefani/ Stephanie (5), Susan (8), Tina (5). Number of cards kicked back as undeliverable: 2 (I readdressed them and mailed them back out to Umi in NY, and Layla in Smyrna). Percentage of probability that I accidentally sent out more than one card to at least one person: 99.999 Was I terribly organized about my card sending this year?: More organized than last year! Did I have a lot of fun shopping for funny cards?: You betcha – and I’m really looking forward to making cards for next year. What I’ll do differently next year: Not much, though I think I could have started cutting and pasting names and addresses to the label document in Word a little sooner than I did. Number of cards I’ve received: 159 so far. I’ll be going to the post office later today, and there will most likely be some more waiting there for me. I absolutely loved getting so many pictures of your cats and kids, thank you! * * * Have I mentioned that I’m turning 35 (ha! I accidentally typed 25 at first!) in 10 days? Mark your calendars. It’s a national holiday, you know! I have this very strong feeling that this is going to be the year I really come into my own, and I can’t wait! * * * Speaking of mail (like I was before I reminded you of my birthday on January 9th. January 9th, folks!), I went to the post office on Friday, which was the only chance I’d gotten all week, and BOY did I hit the jackpot. Not only were there about 50 cards crammed into the box, but there were several packages waiting for me as well. And because I’m a wonderful, sharing person, I’m going to share them with y’all. You’re welcome. From Say – a chocolate candle, a container of chocolate milk bath (mmm!), and a knitted washcloth with a cat face knitted in! From reader Elizabeth – an addition to my Smiley Santa kitchen collection! From reader Christine – a Boyd’s Bear and a Buttercream Yankee Candle! I must say, it was very amusing to open the box and take out the Boyd’s Bear with my mother standing right there, because she collects them, and she doesn’t have this one. And she ain’t getting mine! The Art of Smiles calendar from Stephanie! Basically, works of art like the Mona Lisa and The Scream with smiley faces worked into the picture somehow. Hee! And not really included with the above gifts, because this one came to the house, Moira sent me Total Bitch Bath & Body Essentials. The lotion? HAS SPARKLIES IN IT! I am way, way too excited by that, I really am. And to go with the stuff above, a washcloth that’s just perfect for me. Hey, are y’all trying to tell me that I need to wash more often? * * * And THEN, I went to the post office today, and found three MORE boxes waiting for me, along with 5 cards! (That brings the total up to 164). My very first birthday present, to kick off the Birthday Month in style! Sarah Michaels Marine Spa lotion, bubble bath, bath pillow, nail brush, exfoliating shower gloves, all in a nifty travel bag. And, and, AND, an oatmeal raisin spice candle that is just to DIE for. From reader Jonica, who picked it up in the “Orleans” hotel in Las Vegas. (I think I’m going to hang it off my rearview mirror!) And last, but surely not least, from reader Debbie in England! It’s a memo/ picture holder. And luckily there’s room for 5 pictures, which coincidentally is how many cats we have. Whee! Are you jealous of my readers? You should be, because they ROCK! (Readers Debbie (in England), Jonica, and Christine, please email me so that I may thank you properly!) * * * This entry ended up a lot longer than I expected, but I can’t let you go before I point out that this kitty looks a mighty lot like Fancypants, tell you that I’ve started my own nation (I wanted the national motto to be “Goddamnit! What the fuck?!”, but they wouldn’t allow it, the bastards), and show you this picture of Spanky, who just cracks me up. See you “next year”, with a whole new look! Have a safe and happy New Year’s Eve. I’ll be slugging down a virgin cup of egg nog, and turning in well before 2003 peers over the horizon. I hope there’s at least that much excitement in your own New Year’s Eve!]]>

Fred’s dad and stepmother’s xmas tree. Tuesday morning was spent at Fred’s mother and stepfather’s house, and Tuesday evening was spent at Fred’s father and stepmother’s house. (My parents, sister, and Brian spent the day at my aunt’s house) We got lots of loot and visited with the family, and in between the two trips, I made sweet potato casserole (which was a tad soupy, because instead of baking the potatoes and then peeling them, I peeled them and boiled them, thus making them soupy, but it turned out pretty good anyway) and a poppy seed cake for us to have on Christmas day.

Fred’s mother and stepfather’s cat, Graystone, who has the coolest markings. I thought this picture came out pretty cool. Fred’s dad and stepmother’s mantel. Tuesday night, my mother, sister and I did stockings for everyone, then piled everything around the tree. We’d agreed that present-opening would begin at 8, and so I stayed up until about midnight reading. Our little Christmas tree. Wednesday morning at 7:30, Fred came upstairs, woke me up, and told me that everyone was up and had opened their stockings. I groaned about not wanting to get up, rolled around on the bed for a while, then took my shower and came downstairs, where I opened my stocking, then we began opening presents. I got tons of stuff, but I’m not going to list it all here, ’cause I don’t feel like it. So there! Brian and the spud each got one of these little stuffed cats, which are soft and adorable. We sat around for part of the day, and then around 3:30, left the house – Debbie, my mother, the spud, Brian and I – to see Maid in Manhattan. Cute movie. On the way out of the theater, the spud showed me her finger, and I decided to drop my mother and Brian off at home, then take her to the emergency room. The spud’s nasty nail. We sat around the emergency room for forever and a day, and then the doctor came in to check out the spud’s finger, and then poked holes in the fingernail with a needle. We ended up spending about 4 hours at the emergency room, because it was packed, and it was about 10:30 by the time we got home. Thursday, Debbie and I left the house at 7:30 to do the cats at the pet store, then met up with everyone else at IHOP, and then my father and Brian came back to the house, and Debbie, the spud, and I went shopping at the mall. And at Old Navy. And at Linens ‘N Things. And I must say that those after-Christmas sales just kick all kinds of ass, because I bought a ton of presents for next year. We went home, hung around for a little while, and then went out to dinner at Lonestar. After, my father and Brian went home, and my mother, Debbie, the spud and I did some more shopping. That’s right, two more hours of shopping! Amazing, is what that was, considering how much I hate shopping. Friday, we met my aunt at Cracker Barrel for breakfast, then went to her house for a few hours, and met her new – adorable as hell – puppy. Leaving there, we went to Walmart, then home for a few hours before going back out. My mother, Debbie, and I went to see Two Week Notice (funny as hell, it was), and my father took the kids to see Die Another Day. When our movie was over, we went to the mall (yes, again!), then had dinner at Ruby Tuesday’s. Can I just say that I fucking hate sitting and waiting for the check? Indeedy I do. By the time we got home, it was 9, and both Debbie and my mother had to do a few loads of laundry. Bright and early Saturday morning, after hugs all around, they were gone. I spent the better part of the morning putting Christmas stuff away and cleaning the house. And that was my week. The sky looked cool Friday afternoon… ]]>

This picture 2. This picture 3. This picture 4. This picture 5. This picture 6. This picture 7. This picture 8. This picture 9. This entry, this entry, this entry, this entry, this entry, and this entry. 10. Several copies of US, the best damn magazine in the world, and one copy of Playboy magazine, with all the nudie pics torn out, because some of the best interviews I’ve read have been in that magazine (did you know I subscribe to Playboy? Yes, indeedy, I do).. 11. Hallmarks of Felinity. 10 things this past year has taught you 1. You cannot actually roll your eyes so hard that they pop out and roll across the floor, but you CAN roll them so hard that it makes you dizzy and makes your eyeballs ache. 2. Cats can be mightydamn expensive when they have to go to the vet all the time. 3. I really, really like my life most of the time. 4. I’m a better writer than I think I am. 5. But I ain’t no Stephen King. 6. I really, really, really wish that Debbie and Brian lived a lot closer than they do. 7. That if you’re not vigilant, old patterns and ways can come back with a vengeance. 8. That my feelings can be hurt more easily than I’d like. 9. That I can’t wait to turn 35 on January 9, because I have a feeling that it’s going to be the year when I really come into my own. 10. That fewer people are offended by bad language than you’d think. 9 things you could have done without [this past year] 1. The bullshit. 2. The petty crap. 3. The whiny bitchy losers who whine about me behind my back and then backpedal like big fucking wimps when they’re confronted about it. 4. The junky food. 5. The self-doubt. 6. That fucking Mulvaneys book (strictly speaking, I didn’t read it this past year, but the horror still lingers). 7. Getting my first real cold in three years the fucking DAY before my parents, sister, and nephew got here. 8. Having to blow my nose every five minutes for the entire time they were here. 9. [deleted] 8 of the best books you’ve read and/or movies you’ve seen [this past year] 1. Most of the Red Dress Ink books. 2. Good in Bed. 3. In Her Shoes. 4. Life as a House. 5. Two Week Notice (I laughed my ass off) 6. Unfaithful 7. In a Sunburned Country 8. Frailty 7 little things you’ve done to make the world a better place [charity work, donating time/money, making a point to smile at people, etc] 1. I feed the kitties and scoop poop at the pet store twice a week. 2. I helped Fred raise more than $300 for the animal shelter. 3. The Giveaway page. I think that winning something off that page has brightened the day of a person or two. 4. I do make a point to smile at people and ask how they’re doing. 5. I contribute money to the local no-kill shelter every month. 6. I contribute money to the spud’s school’s PTA instead of letting her sell crap to people who don’t want to buy crap, and that is an act of kindness in itself, I think. 7. Random acts of kindness as they occur to me. 6 things you’d like the New Year to bring [resolutions or whatever] 1. The inclination to get my ass caught up on my email. 2. The inclination to update in my diet journal at least twice a week (Uh, these aren’t resolutions, by the way. Just something I’d like to happen). 3. Serious weight loss. 4. Sunny, warm weather every single day (a girl can dream, no?) 5. The motivation to keep the house spotlessly clean (ha!). 6. Peace and joy and happiness to everyone all over the world. And all that crap. 5 gifts you’d like to give and to whom [tangible/non-tangible/if money were no object] 1. A million bucks to each of my friends, online and off. 2. The intelligence to have their pets spayed and neutered to every pet owner out there. 3. A loving home for every cat, dog, and animal in existence. 4. The love of reading, for the spud, who does not love to read the way Fred and I do. 5. The perfect man, a gorgeous house, and a great car for my sister. 4 non-tangible gifts you’d like get 1. The motivation to sit my ass down and write the stories that come into my mind. 2. Self-love. 3. Patience. 4. The cessation of yearning to be in Maine. 3 tangible gifts you’d like to receive 1. A yellow VW Beetle. 2. A house in the country with a big barn with plenty of room for lots of kitties. 3. A summer home in Maine. 2 favorite holiday memories [from any time] 1. I don’t remember what year it was – 1998 or 1999? – but the spud went to Rhode Island for Christmas to spend it with her father. We had a wicked ice storm, which knocked out our power so that we couldn’t cook. We drove into Huntsville, checked into a hotel room, and then had Indian food for dinner. We watched a movie in the hotel room, and when the power at home came back on, we went home (it was about 10 pm). It was just a great, relaxing day. 2. When I was 7 and we lived in Guam. We opened our presents, had breakfast, and then went to the beach for the day! 1 thing that surprised you the most [about this past year] That I still haven’t gotten tired of the whole journalling thing.]]>

Wishing a warm, merry Christmas to you and yours, from us and ours.

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here. Enjoy!

* * * Okay, y’all. One of the things I plan on working on over the next few weeks is an FAQ. Is there something you think I should put in it? Ask away! (Unless it’s “Why do you and Fred sleep in separate rooms?”, because that’s far and away the most-asked question, and will definitely be in the FAQ). * * * On my shit list today: 1. The people who work at the pharmacy where Fred and I have our prescriptions filled. They always and forever insist on stapling the fucking prescription information sheet onto the bag, and they invariably put the staple directly over the RX# or Claim #, both of which are numbers I need to fill out the Prescription Drug Claim form, which I have to send in to Blu3 Fuckin’ Cr0ss. (Could be worse. Could be an HMFucking0.) 2. The M@dison School system. In the mail yesterday, I received a survey, apparently sent to the parents of all kids in the M@dison School system. The survey was about the 2003 – 2004 school calendar. Imagine my amazement – until now, I’ve very much been under the impression that they slap the fucking thing together sometime in mid-June, well after I’ve had to guess at when to make ticket reservations for the spud to come back from Maine. And invariably, she’s scheduled to come back after school starts, so I have to call and pay to have the ticket changed. Fuckers. Anyway, here were the options: A. No fall break and three days off for Thanksgiving with school beginning on August 13, 2003. B. A two-day fall break in October and a full week off for Thanksgiving with school beginning on August 7, 2003. C. A two-day fall break in October and three days off for Thanksgiving with school beginning on August 11, 2003. D. A five-day fall break in October and three days off for Thanksgiving with school beginning on August 6, 2003. Oddly, there was no Option E, which if worded by me would have gone: E. What the fuck do they need a fucking FALL BREAK FOR, for the love of god?? They fucking get Labor Day off in September, they fucking get whatever fucking holiday that is in October off, they fucking get Veteran’s Day off in fucking November, and then they get fucking Thanksgiving off. What the fuck? WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL WE GOT TWO – TWO! – DAYS OFF FOR THANKSGIVING, WHY THE FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK DO THEY NEED A FUCKING FALL FUCKING BREAK?!?!?!? You know, I just don’t get school systems in the South. Why the fuck do they insist on starting school in the middle of the fucking summer? AUGUST IS STILL SUMMER. And what’s more, the fact that school goes from practically the beginning of August to the fucking middle of May really fucks it up for those of us who are trying to coordinate schedules with kids who live in Maine and start school at the beginning of September and go to the middle of June. Hey, here’s a fucking idea! Don’t give them THREE FUCKING WEEKS off for Christmas, don’t give them ANY FUCKING FALL BREAK, and let them attend school from Labor Day to fucking Memorial Day. Oh, wait. That would make sense, and we certainly don’t want THAT. Fuckheads. Oh, but here’s why the M@dison School system is really on my last fucking nerve. I completed the survey (I chose Option A), filled out my name and address, refrained from using any profanities (see? I can do it when I really try to!), and then glanced at the letter on the other side, to see where I needed to send it. “We ask that you return your completed form to your child’s school, no later than Thursday, December 19, 2002.”, it said. Hm. Odd. When did I GET this form in the mail? Oh, let me think, when was it?… IS IT POSSIBLE THAT IT CAME IN THE FUCKING MAIL YESTERDAY AFTERNOON AFTER SCHOOL HAD BEEN LET OUT?! Why, yes. That IS when I received the fucking form. In the mail. On the 19th. After school had been let out. Yes indeedy. YES IN-FUCKING-DEEDY. So I’m sending it directly to the Office of the Superintendent, BECAUSE MY VOTE HAD FUCKING WELL BETTER BE COUNTED, MOTHERFUCKERS. That is all. * * * My parents, sister, and nephew are flying in Sunday afternoon. They’ll be here until the following Saturday morning (they’re leaving very, very early), and so I have no clue when or if there will be any entries up next week. I may get one or two up, or I may get none up – I just don’t know. We’re going to have a fairly busy week, what with going to Nashville on Monday, then Tuesday Fred, the spud and I are going to his parents for part of the day, Wednesday is Christmas, and I have no idea what Thursday and Friday have in store. Hopefully, there’ll be a good story or two to share with y’all. Basically what I’m saying is, I’ll see you when I see you, and if I don’t put up an entry next week, I hope you’re having a good one!]]>

The vet’s office called the other day to let us know that it was time for her to go back for a re-check of her puffy, deformed lip, and another shot of steroids. I made the appointment for this morning so I could take her, because Fred’s been taking the cats to the vet a lot lately, and I thought I’d give him a break. And since Miz Poo is one of the few cats (Fancypants being the other) that I can actually get into the carrier box, all the better. I got the carrier box out and left it on the bedroom floor about half an hour before we needed to leave. Spanky took one look at it and ran like hell down the stairs and out into the back yard, where he crouched behind the tree for quite some time. Miz Poo sniffed at it, then went and took a nap. I went and took my shower, got ready to go (I had already been out earlier, of course, to feed the kitties at the pet store, but I didn’t shower before I went out, because I come home with my hair smelling like stinky litter boxes), and then went over to pet Miz Poo. She looked up at me, her eyes full of love, and chirped. I picked her up, and she rubbed her head against my cheek and purred some more. When we approached the carrier box, she made a little whining noise in the back of her throat, but before she was fully aware of what was going on, I’d popped her in the box and shut the lid. Because I’m just that good. We were at the vet’s office less than ten minutes later, and spent maybe ten minutes talking to the vet, having Miz Poo’s temperature taken (it was normal. Unlike Miz Poo), and had her weighed (10 1/4 pounds. Which makes her less than half the size of Tubby, if you’re wondering). The vet said her lip was doing better (did I ever tell y’all that it was definitely not cancerous? It’s an ulcer, caused by her licking at it too much), popped her with some steroids, said he wanted to see her in another 60 days, and we were on our way home. Ever since we got home, she’s been needing the love, purring and rubbing on me, jumping up on the desk to lay down in front of me, jumping up on my lap to rub on me, bringing me her toys and looking expectantly at me (when I toss the toy in the other room for her to chase, she looks at the toy, then looks at me, and then just sits there, as if to say “What the hell was THAT all about?”). It appears that she’s not holding a grudge, in any case.

* * * So while I was out shopping yesterday, I called Fred from the parking lot of Bed, Bath, and Beyond, to tell him I’d spotted something he could buy for the spud to give me for Christmas (don’t give me that look – he’d been asking for ideas). It was a fountain like this one. “And it’s where?” he asked. “Bed, Bath and Beyond, in the Target shopping center,” I said. “It’s in the front window.” He made a mental note, and then I went about my business. Later that afternoon, he called me from his cell phone. “Where the hell did you say that fountain is?” he asked, sounding harried. “Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Why?” I said. It appears that he’d gotten it into his head that I’d been calling him from the mall, and he’d wandered into Bath and Body Works and asked the salesclerk there where their fountains might be. Hee! According to the salesclerk, that happens ALL the time. * * * I made an unusual Thursday run to the post office today, because I had a bunch of cards to mail, and (I think I’ve mentioned), I don’t mail stuff from my mailbox anymore, because too much stuff’s been getting lost in the mail. Imagine my surprise when I checked to see if I had any mail! In no particular order, I received: From the wonderful Joley, who has somehow gleaned my love of smiley stuff… and my love of kitties! Whoo! From an anonymous reader, not only a 9 Chickweed Lane Clock (see the cat pose at 1:00? That’s Fancypants, right there)… But also a 9 Chickweed Lane t-shirt, with this on the front. Hee! Anonymous reader, if you’d contact me so I can thank you properly, I’d appreciate it! From Say, a knit mouse cat-toy, made with her veryown hands! I took it directly to Fancypants, who sniffed it carefully… And then immediately acted like he was on a catnip high, flopping down to stare at the wall. Later, Miz Poo claimed it, and carried it off to the library, where she spent some time batting it around. This stuff I didn’t receive from any readers, but bought yesterday while I was out shopping. I know, you’re not supposed to buy stuff for yourself when you’re Christmas shopping, but a girl can only be so strong! Remind you of anyone? Not a very good picture, but I had to plug the camera in to recharge, and it can only zoom so far. I bought this Santa at Dillards to put by the fireplace, so I could toss the cheap angels we’ve been using for the past few years, and which were slowly losing their body parts. If Dillards has a decent after-Christmas sale, I may go back for a different one for the other side of the fireplace. Gotta keep it balanced, y’know. Man, it’s looking nasty outside. I hope we don’t blow away before I get a chance to wear my new shirt and tell time on the new clock, and put up my new calendar, and spend some time admiring my new Quarry Cat, and toss the mouse across the room for the cats to play with! ‘Cause that would, like, suck. (Confidential to reader Pat, who bribed me with happy face stickers: The recipe will be up in the next few days)]]>

* * * When I was done at the pet store this morning, I walked around the store and picked up a few presents for our kitties. After leaving there, I went to Target to pick up a list of things, and to kill time while waiting for the mall to open. I’d been planning all week long to hit the party store and mall today and finish up my Christmas shopping. But is Christmas shopping ever really done? Anyway, I hit Target, and about halfway through my visit there, I started feeling sleepy. I thought about going into the Christmas section and laying down under one of the trees for a nap, but decided against it. I finished up my shopping, and bought a Diet Coke (for the caffeine) and a pack of M&Ms (for the sugar), and once I was back out in the Jeep, I ate and slurped, and almost immediately felt better. After Target, I hit Michael’s (and spent the aforementioned long, long time in the scrapbooking aisle), then went over to Bed, Bath, and Beyond (for new bath mats, because the spud’s was getting gross, and so was the one in the master bath). Upon leaving Bed, Bath and Beyond, I called Fred from the parking lot. He asked me last night if I had any suggestions for something he could buy for the spud to give me for Christmas, and I’d spotted something. I left the Target/ Bed, Bath and Beyond parking lot, and headed for the party store. The party store is a great place to pick up stocking stuffers, and I think that, aside from my dad, I’m all done with buying stocking stuffers for the year. And then? What did I do then? Oh, like an idiot, I left the party store and went to the mall. Yes, a week before Christmas, and I hauled my ass to the mall. Could I be any dumber, could I, huh? I think not! But it actually wasn’t, aside from the parking, all that bad. I bought a few things at the Hallmark store, and then headed to Dillard’s. See, we’re all doing stockings for each other this year, and I thought that a very small box of Godiva chocolates for each person would be cool. Don’t you wish I were stuffing YOUR stocking? So I found the display of Godiva chocolates, and I was disgusted. Chocolate coins, seven dollars? Fuck THAT. I was on my way out of the store, stomping my weary feet with disgust, when I saw another display with tiny boxes at a much, MUCH better price. Score! So everyone’s getting a (yes, one!) Godiva chocolate in their stocking this year. Because I rock. By the time I got back out to the parking lot, I had walked my poor, aching feet down to nubs, and all I wanted was to get my ass home and eat lunch. So I picked lunch up at Wendy’s, and home I am. Where I intend to stay for the rest of the day, resting my weary self. And tomorrow? Tomorrow, I get to go do the kitties again (which will be the bright point of my day!), then I’ll be coming home to scrub the floors, make sure the guest bedroom is up to Bitchy Code, and going around with the Swiffer to gather a million, trillion cobwebs from all corners of the house. If it’s not raining, I’ll run to Lowe’s to buy some mulch for the daffodil bed, and chop down some weeds. In and amongst all this, I will make chicken curry (which I’ve never made before – I hope it’s good!), and possibly wash some windows. Envy me.]]>