Author: Robyn

1. You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station; what do you buy? A Diet Coke and Reese’s Pieces or M&Ms. Maybe some nuts or Twizzlers. Can I get all that for $10? If I have enough left over, a bottle of water to flush all the junk food out of my system. 2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be? I’d be a lobster, ’cause they are yummy, and I would be bringing joy to someone after I die a horrible boiling death. 3. Who’s your favorite redhead? Copper-Top! She’s adorable. I want to put her in my pocket and carry her around with me. In a non-creepy way, of course. 4. What do you order when you’re at a pancake house? Usually some sort of omelet. 5. Do you own any naughty toys? I don’t think anyone wants to know the answer to that. 6. Have you made out with anyone on your link list? (It originally said “Friends list” ’cause this came from LiveJournal, but I changed it to “link list” because I can) Uh. Yes. (I had to go see if Fred was on my list) 7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear: Seriously? People have favorite pairs of underwear? I love all my underwear equally. 8. Describe the last time you were injured: Yesterday morning; I was covering for someone at the pet store, and Sylvia got a little wild and scratched me. Brat. 9. Are there any odd things that make you feel comfortable? Numbers. Random numbers. I don’t know why. 11. Tell me a weird story from your high school years: I don’t think I have any weird stories, except for the night when I worked until closing at McDonald’s and two other closers and I were driving into Auburn to go to Denny’s, and as we drove across the bridge between Lewiston and Auburn, we saw a man climbing over the rail as if he was going to jump into the river. We turned around and drove back, and he wasn’t there any more. We called the police and made a report, and eventually another cop car came along with a transient in the back seat and the cops basically pushed us into saying that that was the guy we’d seen. Even though it really wasn’t, and we got an attack of conscience and went to the police station and told them that that wasn’t the guy we’d seen climbing over the railing, and they couldn’t have cared one single solitary iota less. 12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone? A little baby pig. I tried out a couple of cat pictures, but they made the text hard to read. 13. Soda? Diet Coke. 14. Flavor of pudding? I like milk chocolate with a caramel swirl. Yum. I haven’t had pudding in ages; now I’m craving some. 15. What type of shirt are you wearing? A teal corduroy button-up shirt. It keeps me warm. 16. Prescription medication? Metoprolol (a generic of Toprol), Seasonale, Synthroid. 17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be? I’d like a Segway, if I could get a little trailer for it. Otherwise, I think I’d need a car for hauling groceries and such. 18. How many people are on your links list? 130. 19. How many people on your links list do you know in real life? Not a one. 20. What are you listening to right now? Miz Poo snore. 21. Most recent movie you watched: Red Eye! 22. Name 5 things you have with you at all times: Cell phone, Blistex, my keys… And that’s about it, actually. 23. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage? Receive, as long as it’s not a perfunctory ::rub::rub::rub:: “Okay, done!” 24. Name a teacher you had the hots for: Are you kidding me? I had a crush on just about every male teacher I ever had. ::shudder:: 25. What is a saying that you use a lot? “What’d they say?” 26. What’s one piece of advice that you think should be passed on to every child? Wear sunscreen. (Ha!)

Meme #2 What were you doing 10 years ago? Uh… living in Rhode Island with the spud and my ex-husband. It was just about 10 years ago that I got my very first computer, a piece of crap that barely ran. I was only a few months away from meeting Fred. Man, ten years goes by fast. What were you doing 1 year ago? Same damn thing I’m doing right now. Sitting in front of the computer, chewing gum, drinking Diet Coke. Five snacks I enjoy: Blueberry bagels with whipped cream cheese, Cheerios, Rice Chex, California Rolls, and Whoopie pies (though I only ever eat those in Maine). Five songs to which I know all the lyrics There’s only one song to which I know all the lyrics, and that is “Friends in Low Places”, by Garth Brooks. Oh wait, that’s a lie – I also know all the words to “Little Bunny Foo Foo”. Oh! I also know all the words to “The Song that Never Ends.” (Yes, it goes on and on my friends! Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was, and now they’ll go on singing it forever just beCAUSE! It’s the song that never ends! Yes, it goes on and on my friends!, etc.) Five things I would do if I were a millionaire: 1. Buy a house on the ocean. No, strike that. I’d buy several houses on the ocean, all together, like a compound, and then I would name it “Horseshit Alley” and each of my siblings would have their own house. But I’d keep ’em all under my name so that if they ganged up on me, I could KICK ‘EM OUT! Ha! 2. Buy a Mazda Miata. In yellow. Do they come in yellow? Maybe I’d just get a yellow Mustang. 3. Hire someone to clean my house on a regular basis. 4. Hire someone to cook for me (god, I hate cooking. 5. Buy a Toshiba Libretto U100. Five bad habits: 1. Blowing my nose at the dinner table (yeah, I know. Shaddup.) 2. Getting too easily annoyed by people I don’t know. 3. Getting too easily upset by stupid little things. 4. Buying books when I don’t need them. 5. Buying stuff when I know I’ll never use it. Five things I like doing: 1. Surfing de net. 2. Watching TV in the afternoon. 3. Rubbing Sugarbutt’s belly. 4. Reading books and magazines. 5. Getting all the laundry done in one day so it doesn’t need to be done again for several days. Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again: You know, I can’t think of a damn thing. Five favorite toys: 1. My cell phone. 2. My car (I’ve had it almost a year, and I still love it!) 3. My kitties. 4. My Dyson. 5. My Hoover Floormate. * * * ::sniff::sniff::sniff::lick::lick:: “Bleh.” * * * Previously 2005: Saturday I spent at least two hours – conservative estimate – finding and downloading a ringtone that sounds exactly like the “internal call” ring on 24. 2004: No entry. 2003: No entry. 2002: No entry. 2001: I’m quite the stylin’ bitchypoo, I really am. 2000: It’s the period that never ennnnnnds! Yes, it goes on and on my friends!]]>

Spoiler from last night’s 24; skip to the next section if you haven’t seen it, or aren’t interested. Please. Please. PLEASE tell me that we’re not the only ones who noticed that when Martha Logan walked into the bathroom where the communications guy was peeing, he did NOT flush the toilet, and he did NOT wash his hands before he handed over the key card to the archive room, and THEN she PUT IT IN HER MOUTH as she was walking out. I’m not germ-phobic or anything, but GAG ME. To break it down: Hand on penis (probably splashed with urine), hand on key card (penis germs transferring from hand to key card instantaneously, as germs are wont to do), key card in the mouth of the First Lady. ::shudder:: ::twitch:: Fred says we’re just a couple of Monks.

* * * Today’s earworm: Somebody save me Let your waters break right through Somebody save me I don’t care how you do it Just save, save Come on I’ve been waiting for you (Save Me, by Remy Zero. Also known as the theme song for Smallville. Which Fred has been watching almost constantly, which is why the theme song is bouncing around in my brain.) * * * So, I took a look to see what people have been searching on recently. The most popular searches: Cat pee/ cat urine/ cat pee smell/ cat pee cleaner/ cat odor remover. I think you’re looking for the link to Axi-Dent, which is the only thing I’ve ever used that immediately takes away the smell of cat pee. Cat pee, if you didn’t know, is the nastiest smell on the planet. Ugh. I think the guy who owns the company behind that web site is willing to make other suggestions if you’d rather try something else, too. Book/ book I’m in/ written in a book. That would be Tales from the Scale, edited by Erin Shea. Unless you’re looking for Fred’s book, and that would From Chunk to Hunk. Which is also being put up online for free, here. Elliptical. It’s a Life Fitness X9i elliptical. And I still like it – a LOT. Although in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t ::coughcough:: actually USED it all that often lately… Nasty comment. I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never gotten a nasty comment in my LIFE. Ha! Maybe you were looking for my response to the Einstein in Lakewood, NJ, who was telling me how it was? Or perhaps Jackie in Vancouver, who suggested that if I didn’t lose weight, pronto, I’d have to worry about my daughter trying to “steal” Fred from me? Or, wait. How about Sandra (down in the comments), who thought that my mentioning the fact that I was putting a book on my wish list meant that I was suggesting someone go buy it for me? I’m sure there are more, but those are the ones who came to mind. The funny thing is that I did a search on “twat” to find those entries, because Nance called Sandra and Jackie “twats”, and I remembered that, but not the specifics of what the two lame commenters had said. Heh. And the funnier thing is that someone DID go and buy that book off my wish list for me, just to spite Sandra. If you have a question you’d like answered, ask in the comments. God knows I’ll answer almost anything! * * * Sunday morning I got out of bed to go to the bathroom – and because it was time to get up – and as I did my morning business, Sugarbutt wound around my feet, rubbing up against my legs and purring like mad. Since I figured he was in the mood for love, I crawled back in bed and called his name and patted on the bed, hoping he’d snuggle up against me and let me pet his soft, silky fur. So I was laying on my side on the bed, calling for Sugarbutt, one hand patting the bed and the other hand just laying across the bed. Finally, he got curious about what was going on, and he jumped up on the bed and approached me. He let me scratch him behind the ears, and then he leaned down and sniffed my hand, the one that was laying on the bed. And then he made a chirping noise, jumped several inches straight up in the air, and ran off like his ass was on fire. Let me hasten to add that I had JUST washed my hands with pear-scented soap, so it’s not like he was smelling some nastiness or anything. I laughed my ass off, then I started calling him and patting the bed and he jumped up on the bed again. Again, he allowed me to scratch behind his ears, sniffed my hand, jumped and chirped and ran off like his ass was afire. All told, he did the exact same thing five or six times, and Fred finally had to come upstairs to see what the hell had me cackling so hard. I sure do love that Sugarbutt. * * * * * * The two most fascinating bits of information I’ve learned so far this year: 1. On the dashboard of most cars, on or around the gas gauge, there’ s an arrow or a little gas pump that indicates which side of the car the gas tank is located on. I myself have a little gas pump and an arrow: This is strangely fascinating to me. I’ve probably seen that arrow and gas pump a thousand times, but never once did it occur to me to think to myself “Hmm. Wonder what that arrow stands for?” (That piece of fascinating information was passed on to me by Fred, who read it on Fark) 2. There’s so much nasty bacteria in your mouth that if you had an open wound on each of your arms and you licked one wound and rubbed the other in your ass (don’t give me that look; we all know you rub your wounded arms in your ass ALL THE TIME, you fucking freak), the one you licked has a much higher chance of getting infected. (And THAT piece of fascinating information was read in Kevin Smith’s blog.) Just a little fascinating information, passed from me to you. Go forth and spread the fascination. * * * Sooooo… remember a while back when Fred painted the master bedroom a light yellow color, and I was all “Yeah, I think I like it. The more I look at it, the more I like it. I think.” Well, in truth, the more time I spent in that room, the more I disliked the yellow. At certain times of day, in certain light, it was a lovely, soft yellow color and I liked it. But the rest of the time, it was just too damn yellow. It was distracting when I tried to read, and sometimes it seemed like it was just a horrid neon yellow. So Fred repainted it this past weekend. Before: Now: American Tradition 4006-3B, Palisade Blue. Unlike the yellow, where I walked in and said. “Yeah… I think I might like it. Or not. Do I like it? I don’t know…”, I walked in when Fred was done painting, and I said “Yep, I love it!” Still need a new comforter, though. * * * Yeah, okay, that’s really comfortable. It’s not like you’re putting my arm to sleep with your rapidly portlifying gut, Tommy. That boy is just Not Right. (All of today’s uploaded pictures are here.) * * * Previously 2005: Stuff I Bought. 2004: No entry. 2003: Frequently asked questions. 2002: I love me some messing around with the camera. 2001: I was being subjected to porn without realizing it! 2000: Ben and me, we had sex in the back of a van.]]>

Click on the picture and go check out Paul Vose’s web site, would you? There are some awesome pictures there. I keep going and looking at this picture. It makes me want to climb Tumble Down Mountain and swim in that pond, you know? I keep suggesting to Fred that when the time comes that he’s ready to make a trip to Maine and climb Katahdin, we should climb Tumble Down Mountain too.

* * * Things you may not know about me 1. Numbers comfort me. When I’m stressed or upset, if I sit and think of numbers – random numbers, not phone numbers or addresses or numbers that mean anything at all – it calms me down. I have no idea why that is, and I think it started pretty much out of the blue when I was 19 or 20. 2. I get really pissed off when I feel that someone’s trying to control me. I can be considered to be “hardheaded” and unwilling to listen to reason, but I think that said “hardheadedness” is just a reaction to someone attempting to control me. I’ll admit that I’m contrary and when someone, say, suggests that I stop putting so many cat pictures in my entries, I’ll do exactly the opposite. 3. I absolutely chafe under others’ expectations of me. Don’t expect anything from me. IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE AND I CAN’T HANDLE IT! 4. I always rub my feet together when I can’t get to sleep. It’s another thing that comforts me. Of course, now when I do it, I always think of John Cusack in High Fidelity talking about Laura rubbing her feet together. 5. I steal pens. Well, I don’t steal pens, I exchange pens. When I was paying for dinner at Pedro O’Hara’s in Maine, I really liked the pen the waitress gave me to sign the credit card slip, so I took a pen out of my purse and left it with the credit card slip, and put the waitress’s pen in my purse. I know, I’m evil. Okay, wait – I do steal pens, though, from the doctor’s office. I figure it’s okay, since they get them free from the drug reps. The one time I asked a receptionist at a doctor’s office if I could take a pen, she said “Of course. That’s what they’re there for!” 6. I stole a magazine from my doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago. It seemed like it was filled with absolutely fascinating articles and it was a few months old and so I put it in my purse. If I’d had one of my own magazines with me, I’d have left it to even things out. Hmm. I have a doctor’s appointment later today; I think I’ll take the stolen magazine back and leave it. That makes it so I borrowed the magazine rather than stole it, right? Uh, right? * * * Public Service Announcement Dear Authors: The “buried alive” thing has been done to (pardon the pun) death. I’ve read no fewer than four books in the last year that had victims buried alive. Please find a new and preferably more interesting way for kidnappers/ murderers to dispose of their victims, because this one has been played out. XOXO, Robyn * * * Bird watching. “Those aren’t PILLOWS!” * * * Previously 2005: No entry. 2004: I put too much perfume on this morning and now I’m sitting here with the stank rays shooting off me in every direction. 2003: And on the way home, he recounted, word-for-word a conversation he, his doctor, and I had had, only he substituted the nurse for me, and had her saying what I’d said. 2002: Ever hear of “Shut up, Junior, that’s rude, and the next time you say it, you’re going to your room for the rest of the day”? 2001: I’m such a ditz sometimes 2000: I’ve turned into such an old lady.]]>

reading: The Rest of Us, by Jacqueline Mitchard. In the foreward to this book, Mitchard explains why she named the column from whence this book came “The Rest of Us”, and it’s basically because there are people in the world who know exactly who they are and where they’re going, and then there are the rest of us. The line that caught my fancy went something along the lines of “We have strong moral cores, but waffly ways.” If nothing else describes me, “Morally strong, with waffly ways” does. Probably it describes the majority of us; it certainly resonated with me. Finished recently: Multiple Choice, by Claire Cook. I enjoyed the book, but found it utterly without plot. The protagonist came to no great realizations or decisions in her life, just kind of bumbled along. I guess I’d describe her as morally strong, with waffly ways!

* * * Okay, so. Kristine of Random and Odd is engaged to be married, and she and her fiancee want to get married in Hawaii with all their kids present. What are they doing? They’re auctioning off the planning of their wedding on eBay! The winner of the eBay auction will get to write a portion of the wedding vows, write part of the best man’s toast, and pick the first song they dance to as husband and wife. The best part is that you guys can help out, and it won’t cost you one single solitary cent. Just go to their eBay auction and click on “Watch this item” at the top of the listing. That’s all! Easy as pie. I might have lost out on Alyx’s frog picture (HMPH), but I’m not bitter. I want to see these kids in Hawaii, and did I mention it won’t cost you a thing? Go check it out! * * * Speaking of eBay, we’re in the process of selling some things on eBay you might be interested in, including some books on tape. Fred talked me through putting up an auction last weekend, and now that I know how easy it is, I’ve been walking around the house saying “I wonder how much I’d get for that on eBay?” Fred had to talk me out of putting Sugarbutt on eBay with a “Buy it Now” price of $1.99 after he (Sugarbutt, not Fred) knocked over a vase of flowers. Little bastard. Anyway. See everything here. * * * When I got home from Maine and checked the PO Box, I found that I had 28 – yes, 28! – Christmas/ holiday cards waiting to be opened and read. That brings my total this year up to 137, I think, which is awesome. I took pictures and put them up at the bottom of the page, here, so go check ’em out! Thanks, all of you who requested cards and/ or sent me cards. You help make my holiday season something special, you really do. * * * So, the last of the Maine pictures. While I was in Maine, I got to see my sister’s adorable new kitty, Punki – she’s a fully grown cat, but very very small. Punki’s shy, but she did let me pet her a few times. She’s very, very soft. I got to see Tigger, of course, who looks like he could be Sugarbutt’s big brother (Brian referred to Sugarbutt as “Tigger, Jr.”) I also got to see Tigger’s best friend Luci – Lucifer – who is a huge, gorgeous black cat. I didn’t get any pictures of him, but trust me – he’s GORGEOUS. (He also belongs to my sister’s neighbor, Pat, who’s a reader. Hi, Pat!) And as far as animals go, I also spent quite some time in the company of my parents’ dog, Benji. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I’m not a dog person, but Benji almost changes my mind every time I spend a little time with him. Okay, the pictures. “Ah, zees lahf. Eet ees so, how you say, deeficoolt when you ahre beeyootiful.” Have I ever mentioned that my childhood dog, Taffy, wasn’t even allowed in the living room except on Christmas day? Benji’s got his OWN BED in the MIDDLE of the living room floor. NOT FAIR. A random dog we saw while we were shopping in Bath. Punki, snuggling with a stuffed animal. Debbie had to coax Punki out from hiding with a tin of the stinky wet cat food. Tigger. He cracks me up. There are a bunch more uploaded pictures of Benji, Tigger, and Punki here. * * * “Yeah, I think I’ll be taking up the mousepad as well as the cat bed. You don’t mind, do you? It’s not like you wanted to USE it or anything.” * * * Previously 2005: Who loves their readers more than me? That’s right, NO ONE. 2004: Let us go forth and speak of this no more. 2003: But one of these days he’s going to wake me up, and I’m going to pull his arm off and beat him about the head with it. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry.]]>

* * * I know I’ve mentioned in the past that during the Christmas season, my parents’ house looks like the Christmas section of a department store threw up all over the house. This year, there was even more stuff, because my mother inherited a lot of stuff from my grandmother. My parents start decorating their house the day after Thanksgiving, usually, and it generally takes several days to get everything unpacked and displayed just so (and then my mother spends the next three weeks rearranging everything. Heh.). So I took pictures of some of the Christmas decorations in my parents’ house. Right now, Fred’s thanking his lucky stars that I don’t have this much Christmas stuff, because it would drive him NUTS.

The Christmas dishes. I love, love, LOVE this little elf. Usually he’s in the tree or on top of the Grandfather clock on the living room, but I guess Mom decided to mix things up this year. Santa’s village? Is that the name of it? Whatever, it’s a little village of light-up houses and stores and stuff. I wish my mantel was as big as my parents’. I love their tree. I especially love sitting and looking at the ornaments and remembering from whence they came. Have I mentioned that my mother collects Santas? More Santas, underneath and above the TV. (I don’t know who was watching Tony Danza. Wasn’t ME, that’s all I know.) This is new this year. My mother took down the pictures that hang on this wall during the year and replaced them with Christmas-themed pictures. The amount of work they put into decorating their house for Christmas makes me want to go take a nap. I think this is a cool idea, though. I might have to do something similar (on a smaller scale) next year. That’s me at 16 – almost 17 – in the Santa hat on the right. It’s one of my favorite pictures of me, ever. Y’all are saying “When the hell is she going to stop with the freakin’ pictures from Maine?!”, aren’t you? Well, good news: I have some animal pics for tomorrow, and then life can get back to normal here on Bitchypoo. Well, normal as it ever gets. * * * I cleaned yesterday, because I couldn’t stand the filth in every single room. It took me three hours to clean the upstairs bathroom, dust, change the sheets on my bed and Fred’s, and vacuum the entire house. It’s almost bearable, now. Today, I intend to clean the floors in the kitchen, dining room, and hallway, because they are nas-tay. My resolution for 2006 is to scrub the floors at least once every other week, because between Fred spilling tea on the floor and then the cats tromping through the tea, and just the general grime of being a house where three people and six cats live, I can barely stand to look at my floors, especially the kitchen floor. If you visit, it’s probably best that you wear shoes in the house – at least in the kitchen – because I wouldn’t want to be responsible for you catching anything. Hey, at least our house isn’t as bad as the family on Wife Swap Monday night, with the dead rat laying under the table in the house. That right there was a nasty-ass house. Every time I think I keep a messy house, some family shows up on Wife Swap or Trading Spouses to make me feel better about my housekeeping skills. * * * Going after the camera strap. What a butt-kisser. This makes me want to take a nap. All of today’s uploaded pictures are here. * * * Previously 2005: (YES, GODDAMNIT! I HAVE CONFIRMED THAT YOU CAN, IN FACT, BEGIN WRITING THE FUCKING CHECK BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY HEAR WHAT THE TOTAL IS, YOU IN-MY-WAY MOTHERFUCKER!) 2004: I need to go crack open a beer, watch the game, scratch my balls, and think about what this means. 2003: No entry. 2002: No entry. 2001: “Yeah, so you‘ll be the one with the big head blocking everyone else’s view.” 2000: No, I’m not on any drugs, why do you ask?]]>

* * * I finally got my reading list updated, and the books I read in 2005 tallied, and the total for last year is a rousing 191 books. That’s, like, half a book a day! (.523, to be exact) It’s 4 books less than 2004, but a whopping 21 books MORE than in 2003. Oh, how I love my books. Currently, I’m reading: Flavor of the Month, by Olivia Goldsmith. I’ve read it before, but I wanted to read it again because I remembered liking it. It’s not as good as I remembered; and godDAMN is it a long book. I feel like I’m never going to finish the damn thing, though I got through a couple hundred pages when I was sitting in the frickin’ Suzuki waiting room yesterday morning. Speaking of books, if you’re interested in buying a copy of Fred’s book, you can get it here. We put away three boxes to keep, but during our decluttering last month decided we didn’t need to keep three boxes – I mean, seriously, what are we going to do with THREE boxes? – and dithered back and forth on whether to sell them on Amazon or just toss them and write off the loss. When we saw that people are attempting to sell the book on Amazon for almost $50 each, well, it kind of pissed us off, and we decided to sell them for $10 apiece. I think we’re going to sell them either ’til they’re gone, or until the end of January. Or until I get tired of the fucking books in my fucking dining room and put my foot down. Whichever comes first. (You should also keep in mind that he’s slowly putting the book up online, here, if you’d rather read it for free.)

* * * So, I have got to say that my nephew – who is now 8 months old – is the cutest little guy EVER, but after spending just a few hours in his company, I called Fred and said “I am SO GLAD we decided not to have any more kids!” Because little Jeffrey just does not stop for one single moment. He’s always busy, always crawling around, exploring, grabbing exactly what he’s not supposed to, and getting his feelings hurt when you say “No!” to him. (The first one was my fault. He was crawling around in my parents’ living room and went for the Christmas tree. He was getting a little too insistent on trying to yank a particular ornament off the tree, like such: and I stood up to take his hand off it, and my mother said “Take that pacifier out of his mouth!” (so I could get some pictures of him without it in his mouth, not because my mother is anti-pacifier), and I took his hand off the ornament and took his pacifier out of his mouth, and it was far too great an insult to be withstood without great big crocodile tears and a sad pouty lip. He was comforted with hugs and snuggles from my mother, and later after we told my sister about the incident, she sympathized with Jeffrey, saying “Did Auntie Rah-bah make you cry?” (Brian used to call me “Rah-bah”, and if that’s not cute enough for you, we used to call the spud’s pacifier and Brian’s pacifier their “rah-rah”s. I don’t remember what caused the second two crying pictures, though I suspect it might have involved a diaper change, because not two minutes before he was crying like that, he was happy as a clam at high tide, like such: And no, he’s not all that close to walking, but if you hold his hands, he’ll happily trip across the room. The spud used to LOVE to do that when she was about his age, and my father would hold her hands and let her drag him all over the house. My back aches at the very thought.) Also, Fred guffawed when he saw the first crying picture. Even his cold, cold heart can appreciate the humor of a particularly cute crying baby. On a side note, I happened to be reading this entry back in November, and I clicked on the two bottom pictures to see them bigger, and Fred happened to walk through the room and catch sight of the second from the bottom picture, and he laughed out loud. “Spud, go over next to the baby!” She did, and he thought about it for a moment, pouted, and burst into tears. Too many new people, I guess. A happy moment. And another. And another. Lest you think he spends all his time crying. Actually, he’s usually a pretty happy monkey. Man. The next time I see him, he’ll be walking and talking! There are many more baby pictures here. * * * Look, look! Look what awesome reader Vena did! She recapitated Sugarbutt! I have the coolest readers, don’t I? * * * “Yeah, hi, Mom. I thought I’d just sit here and see if the sun comes to me. It almost came to my tail the other day, but not yet today. I sure am cold. I sure wish the sun would come over here and warm me up.” “Whuh- what the?! What the HELL IS THAT?!” “WHAT IS IT?” “WHAT IS IT?” “I’ve never seen anything like that!” (I have NO CLUE what caught his interest. There was nothing at all on the wall that I could see, but he was absolutely fascinated by whatever it was. Perhaps he was looking into another dimension.) * * * Previously 2005: I need a nap. 2004: Stuff I bought in Maine. 2003: No entry. 2002: Firsts. 2001: You rock, maaaaaaaan! 2000: I’m blue.]]>

Flavor of the Month paperback), but I’m a lover and not a fighter (shaddup), so I restrained myself. But rather than churning out an entry, I’m going to go lay on the couch and relax so that no murders are committed in the And3rson household today. Hmm. If I tossed up a cat picture or two and put up link to my previous January 10th entries, this would pass as an entry, wouldn’t it?

* * * James Frey might be a great big liar. Figures. * * * I’m very, very, very, very saddened that I cut his head off in this picture, because otherwise it’d be the best picture EVER. (He was laying in the cat bed and Tommy was doing something in the dining room that caught his interest, so he stood up to see what was going on) * * * Previously 2005: Back from Maine! 2004: My parents’ Christmas decorations. 2003: And yet, show me a zit and I’m on it in two seconds flat. 2002: “IF YOU WERE THAT FUCKING INTERESTED IN HOW MUCH EVERYTHING COST, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION WHEN SHE WAS RINGING IT ALL UP!” 2001: My body gave me two birthday presents yesterday – my period (a day early) AND a mild return case of conjunctivitis. 2000: In his narcotic cough syrup-induced haze, he nodded sympathetically and hacked a big green chunk of lung onto his plate.]]>

Vinny T’s (I had the fettucine carbonara, which is what I always get, and which I love love LOVE) for lunch for my birthday, and gave me my birthday presents. I got money from my parents and most of the Aurora Teagarden series from my awesome sister who ROCKS. I used some of the money from my parents to buy a new Healthy Back Bag at LL Bean, this one in Green Mist.

I got it in size small. It joins the black size-small and indigo size-large (which I use for traveling) bags that I already have. I just love these bags more than any purse I’ve ever owned. I got a pretty good deal on the bag I bought, because they’re usually $59.95, but some of the bags were on sale for $39.95, including the bag I got. Score! I seriously considered buying a Paul Vose print with the rest of my birthday money – this one, to be exact – there was a display of various Paul Vose prints, matted and framed, for $60. I picked it up, I put it back, I picked it up, I put it back, I left without buying it, and then talked about how I wished I’d bought it, and actually went BACK to LL Bean a few days later, but decided that I’ve taken so many pictures of the Maine ocean and beach that I really, really like – this one, and this one, especially – that what I should do is choose one or two of them to hang on the wall, rather than paying for someone else’s art. (Har! NO, I don’t consider my pictures to be “art”, stop rolling your eyes.). Although, before I got my birthday money and before I even went to Bean’s and saw the above-linked picture, I saw this picture (well, crap. Maybe it was this one. I don’t remember!) in the mall and loved it so much that I had it matted and framed and shipped here. Chances are good that I won’t be seeing Mount Katahdin in the Fall anytime soon, so I can rationalize the purchase. Or so I’d like to think. While we were at lunch my mother said something about how I was going to be 40 soon (SOON? I’ve got two years, woman!), and that she’d have to decide whether to continue giving me a birthday gift or not. See, my older brothers are both over 40, and she decided at some point that when they turned 40 she was going to stop sending them gifts for their birthdays and scale it back to simply sending them cards, because they tend not to remember her birthday and haven’t for years, and her thinking seems to be that if they haven’t thought about sending their mother a birthday card by the time they’re 40, they’re probably not going to start. Debbie and I, on the other hand, always acknowledge her birthday and my parents’ wedding anniversary (which is coming up. Reminder to self: Buy anniversary card!), so whether we’re cut off when we’re 40 remains to be seen. Doesn’t matter to me one way or the other, I’ll still send her flowers or a gift card on her birthday whether I get anything from her on my birthday or not. Because I’m JUST that wonderful. * * * So, the trip to Maine was pretty good. I don’t know that I need to keep visiting for ten days at a time, though. I think a week is sufficient, and I’m pretty sure that my parents were ready to have their house back to normal after a week. And I sure did miss my babies – and my baby – while I was gone. My father recently got back from a three(ish) month trip to Virginia, and got to have a couple of weeks off due to the comp time he’d built up. After weeks of sleeping in late and hanging around the house, he was a sad monkey the morning of January 2nd when he had to get up at 4:45. He’s retiring in March. When I first got to Maine, for the first few days, I felt like I was translating what everyone was saying to each other. For instance, the spud would say something, my mother would misunderstand what she’d said, and I’d say “No, what she meant was…” At lunch at Lonestar the day we spent all day in Portland shopping, Brian said something with his mouth full, and everyone looked at him and said “What?” “He said…” I said, and told them what he’d said. Debbie turned to me and said “Oh, do you speak full mouth?” The longer I was in Maine, the less easy it was to understand what the mumbly teenagers were saying, though, and by the end of the trip, I was saying “Is that English?” to Brian when he said something to me. I suppose the fact that I had a cold that was affecting my ears probably didn’t help matters any. We did a lot – A LOT – of shopping while I was in Maine, and went to a lot of movies, and went out to eat a lot. To me, that’s a really good vacation, so I think I’d give this one four stars. I’m not going to do a day-by-day recap of the trip (you’re welcome), but I did jot down a few random memories: * Debbie and I went into Victoria’s Secret to see what they had on sale. Debbie ended up getting a big set of exfoliant, lotion, and something else (shower gel, maybe?) in the Body by Victoria scent (which smells exactly like the So Sexy shampoo and conditioner). The set was 50% off, so she bought one set during our first trip to the mall, and during our second trip to the mall a few days later she bought another set. I bought a bottle of exfoliant because she’d tried it and raved about it, and I’ve found that we tend to agree when it comes to that sort of thing. So we were standing in line at Victoria’s Secret, and I glanced upward, behind the registers, and saw a couple of mannequins laying on a shelf. I looked them over, and before I considered how stupid it sounded, I nudged Debbie, pointed to one of the mannequins, and said “Her lips are totally fake.” Debbie smiled and said “Ya think?” Later, over lunch with my parents and Brian at Vinny T’s, I told my mother the story, and then Debbie and I talked about the cashier at Victoria’s Secret who’d tried to convince us to sign up for some card or another (the Angel card? Maybe?) that would get us savings and get us signed up to be harassed receive special offers for things like panties and bras. “Do I look like I can fit my ass into any of the panties they carry?” I said, wide-eyed, to my mother. She just smiled and shrugged and then said, intending to be comforting I suppose, “Maybe someday you’ll be able to fit into them!” “I might be able to fit into them someday,” I said, “But I’m really more of a Hanes Her Way kinda gal at heart!” *My sister’s friend, who is also named Debbie, was aghast when she found out I was going to be in Maine for ten days. “She’s going to be here THAT LONG?!”, were her exact words, I believe. Because when the spud and I are in town, we tend to take over my sister’s spare time, and she doesn’t spend much time with her friends. “Did you tell her I outrank her?” I asked my sister. “You outrank EVERYONE,” Debbie said. Damn right. Heh. * I brought some magazines and catalogues to Maine with me to look at while I blow-dried my hair (GOD, is blow-drying hair the most boring thing EVER, or what?), and I saw a t-shirt that said “Who needs a therapist? I have a sister!” AMEN TO THAT! * The movies we saw: Rumour Has It. Eh. I was really looking forward to it, but it wasn’t that good. And the more I looked at her, the funnier-looking Jennifer Aniston got. I expected a better movie from Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner (um, shut up. I LIKED Waterworld) and Shirley MacLaine. The Family Stone. Really pretty good – at one point my mother leaned over and said “Are they sure this isn’t called The Family (my maiden name)?” Rachel McAdams is so adorable I can barely stand to look at her. Syriana. Jesus Christ, this movie sucked so horribly that Debbie, the kids and I got up and walked out after an hour and a half and didn’t care at ALL how the movie ended. I would rather spend an hour and a half blow-drying hair, and y’all know how much I hate THAT shit. On a side note, when he’s all roughed up, George Clooney looks a lot like my brother Randy. They share a lot of the same mannerisms. Very odd. Fun with Dick and Jane. Kind of a let-down. Jim Carrey’s shtick is funny, but in this movie there was no real story to back up the shtick. I do like Tea Leoni an awful lot, though. Pride and Prejudice (which my mother persisted in calling “The Pride and the Prejudice”, heh). This was far and away the best movie we went to see. I’m not crazy about Keira Knightly, but she really made that role her own. (DISCLAIMER: I haven’t seen the miniseries with Colin Firth yet, though it’s in my Netflix queue. I understand there’s some scene with him in a wet shirt that will make me swallow my tongue?) We went to see this at the Eveningstar Cinema – a small, independent theater in downtown Brunswick and some time into the movie, I came to realize that I had to pee. But I didn’t want to miss anything, and I thought the movie would be over soon, so I stayed put. And stayed put. And stayed put. All the while thinking, “This is almost over!” Finally, when Elizabeth went in to speak to her father after Miiiiiister Darcy had spoken to him, and he was all “What can you be thinking, Lizzie? You hate him! He’s got a big stick up his ass!” and she went all soft-eyed and was all “I thought he had a big stick up his ass, but he doesn’t! I love him, truly I do!”, I thought “Oh, christ almighty, this is NEVER GOING TO END!”, and I got up and ran to the bathroom, and when I came back into the theater, Lizzie and Miiiiister Darcy were all snuggly and he was kissing her face, and the movie lasted approximately another thirty seconds. Which means I’ll have to rent it to see the three minutes of the movie I missed. Or maybe I’ll just go ahead and buy it, ’cause I think it’s going to end up being a favorite of mine. Annnnd… I think that’s about it. Want to see some pictures? Okay, just a few random ones. I’ll save the baby pictures and stories for tomorrow. Every time I fly, I have to take cloud pictures. It’s the law. Debbie and I ate at Pedro O’Hara’s one evening. It’s an Irish/ Mexican restaurant. No, there were no corned beef tacos on the menu. I had a reuben, and it was goooood. Dorks. The Big Boot at Bean’s. Also, the spud. Big balls o’ light hanging from the trees near Bean’s. They were very cool. I don’t remember the name of this place, but it always cracks me up. It’s a drive-through coffee place in Brunswick, and I love the cow in the coffee cup on the top of the building. Mom and the kids at Lonestar. Does this seagull look miserably cold, or what? More random uploaded pictures, here. * * * * * * Previously 2005: No entry. 2004: Happy birthday to me! 2003: Happy birthday to me! 2002: Oh, is it my birthday? 2001: Happy birthday to me! 2000: I have pneumonia. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!]]>

Nance and Jane have both done – I am a lemming, you should know that by now – and a few cat pics, and call it an entry. Oh, except that I will tell you that I went to the doctor’s office this morning. See, I’m taking Toprol XL for heart palpitations (don’t give me that surprised look – I told y’all about it when it happened, and I can’t help it if you don’t keep copious notes about my life like you SHOULD) and my prescription ran out a few months ago, so I’d call and leave a message asking my doctor to call in a refill, and she’d have the nurse call in one month’s worth, and I’d be all “What the fuck? WHY IS SHE MAKING ME CALL EVERY MONTH AND BEG FOR A REFILL? Why doesn’t she just call in six months’ worth?” Well, last month when I was close to running out, I called and left the usual message, and later that day the nurse called me back. “We’ll call in one months worth of the Toprol,” she said. “But you need to come in and have your blood pressure checked.” “Oh,” I said. “Okay.” And immediately forgot. While I was in Maine, I realized I didn’t even have enough Toprol to get me through the weekend, so on Wednesday, I called and left the usual message begging for a refill. Later that day, the nurse called me. “I can leave you a week’s worth of Toprol at the front desk,” she said sternly. “But no more than that. You need to come in and see us. Do you want to make an appointment for today?” “Well, no,” I said. “I’m in Maine right now, actually.” She laughed. “When will you be back?” “I’ll be back tomorrow, but I’ll call the office later today from my parents’ house and make an appointment for Friday.” “Okay, but if you can’t get an appointment for Friday, let me know and I’ll leave you samples at the front desk to get you through to next week.” So I made an appointment for 9:30 this morning, and when the nurse called me back to take my temperature and all that fun stuff, I said, flat-out, I’m not stepping on that scale. “You’re not?” she said, eyebrows raised. “I’m not. I just spent the last 10 days eating my way across Maine. I have no desire to see what the damage is.” She laughed. “I can understand that!” My blood pressure was fine and my doctor popped in for a few minutes to see what was going on in my life, and ended up giving me a prescription for Toprol, one for Synthroid, one for Seasonale, and then when I mentioned that I’d brought a cold back from Maine with me, she checked my ears, nose, and throat, and told me my ears were swollen. She ordered a blood test, and told me to wait until they did the CBC, because if it showed that I had an infection, she’d give me an antibiotic. So they drew the blood and told me I could hang out in the waiting room until the CBC had been completed and shown to the doctor. I waited in the waiting room for about five minutes, and while I was there, do you know what I read? AARP The Magazine. And I really enjoyed it, too. I think this means that I might be turning 38 on Monday, but mentally I’m about twice that. (Yes, I have the beginnings of a double ear infection, and she prescribed Augmentin. Ugh.)

* * * (Edited to add: Apparently I JUST did this freakin’ meme on the 15th of December. No wonder it seemed so familiar. I’m blaming it on the cold. I’m such a dork.) Four jobs you’ve had in your life 1. Carhop. Luckily, I didn’t have to wear skates. 2. Convenience store clerk. I worked the midnight – 8 am shift, and it SUCKED. God, it was boring. And I never ever checked anyone’s ID when they were buying alcohol, not once. 3. Taking orders at LL Bean during the Christmas season. The other most boring job ever. I don’t know which went numb faster, my ass or my brain. 4. McDonald’s. I was a shy kid, and working at McDonald’s really brought me out of my shell and taught me how to deal with people. Four movies you would watch over and over 1. When Harry Met Sally. 2. Bridget Jones’s Diary. 3. Braveheart. 4. Center Stage. (Shut. UP.) Four places you have lived 1. Madison, Alabama. 2. Lisbon Falls, Maine. 3. Middletown, Rhode Island. 4. Brunswick, Maine. Four TV shows you love to watch 1. Lost. 2. Scrubs. 3. Grey’s Anatomy. 4. House. Four places you have been on vacation 1. Myrtle Beach. 2. Hawaii. 3. Maine. 4. Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Four websites you visit daily 1. Jane (I stalk her guestbook). 2. Nance (I’d stalk her guestbook if she had one). 3. Livejournal. I don’t really care for Livejournal all that much, but so many people have moved there to blog that I have no choice! 4. Flickr. Four of your favorite foods 1. Whoopie pies! 2. Orange Hostess cupcakes. 3. Coldstone Creamery Birthday Cake Remix. 4. Cakes from Peggy Ann. (Yeah, it’s not too obvious that I’m a sugar fiend, is it?) Four places you would rather be right now I have to say, I’m pretty much where I’d like to be at the moment. In a few months I’d probably say I’d rather be in Hawaii or Maine, but right now, in front of my desk, with the space heater pointed at my feet and Sugarbutt to the left of me and Miz Poo to the right, I’m pretty happy. * * * Sugarbutt’s happy that his Mama is home. Really he is. TOES. Baggage inspectors. “Oh. Were you gone?” wonders Tommy. * * * Previously 2005: No entry. 2004: No entry. 2003: “Ohhhhh,” I finally said, the light dawning. “It’s a comedy.” 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry.]]>

Home again, home again! Yes, the spud and I are home from Maine – we were home before noon, actually – but our luggage didn’t make the flight from Charlotte to Huntsville, so I’m sitting and waiting for it to be delivered. There might be an entry tomorrow, but you might have to wait ’til Monday. I have a lot of TV to catch up on, and I need to just veg in front of the couch for the rest of the day, and maybe through the weekend. You’ll just have to wait and see! I took a metric ton of pictures while I was in Maine. I need to sort through them, but you can rest assured that I’ll be putting you to sleep with cute baby pictures for at least a few days. See you when I see you! (PS: Cool new Bitchypoo logo for January created by wonderful reader Dusty. Thanks, Dusty!!!)]]>