* * * Liver news: the gastroenterologist called this morning to tell me that… they still don’t know what’s going on. My bilirubin has gone down a tad (it’s currently at 3.7; normal is .1 – 1.2), but it’s still elevated. It’s possible that there’s a stone trapped in a bile duct, and ordinarily they’d send a scope down there to check it out, but with my rearranged insides, they can’t do that. So he’s ordering an MRCP to get a clearer look at what’s going on. If that comes back with everything looking normal, then there’s a liver biopsy in my future. As always, I’ll let y’all know more when I know more. Man, I’m ready to get this done and over with. This has dragged on for far too long as far as I’m concerned!
It took a month, but the squirrel finally figured out how to get into the squirrel feeder.
“What?”
Sugarbutt checks out the hummingbird flitting around the feeder.
And what kind of journaler would I be if I didn’t have a house tour up and ready to go?
If you could send some generic happy thoughts my way, I’d appreciate it. Not because of the health stuff (I expect to hear that I’m going to need to have my gallbladder out, and I am unconcerned to the point of “Oh, is there a gallbladder issue? Oh, right. I forgot.”), but something else I’m not ready to talk about.
DON’T YOU HATE IT WHEN A JOURNALER SAYS THAT?
By the end of the week I’ll spill all, one way or the other. But if a million Bitchypoo readers sent a million generic good thoughts this way, it can only be a good thing, right? Right.
(NO I’m not pregnant, not trying to get pregnant, never hoping or trying to get pregnant, and it’s got nothing to do with any kind of pregnancy in the Bitchypoo sphere of family, 
Naturally, I spent too much money. After a couple of hours, my father and Brian were pretty bored – we really should have taken separate vehicles so they could have gone home after lunch, instead of sitting around looking like they were going to expire from the boredom – and we were all getting hungry, so we went for lunch, ending up at the same restaurant where we went last year, actually.
I had totally decided to order the turkey dinner, because it sounded so good, but not ten seconds before the waitress came over, Debbie mentioned she was going to get the cold pot roast sandwich, and when it came time to order, my brain heard my mouth say “The turkey dinner”, but my mouth actually said “The pot roast dinner.”
When it came, I thought “This doesn’t look like turkey.” But it was good, so I ate it. Toward the end of the meal, Debbie said “So basically we got the same thing, only yours is a meal, not a sandwich?”, which is when it came out that I was eating pot roast.
Um. DUH. At least it was good.
We left the restaurant and went on to do a bunch more shopping, including hitting the Kittery Trading Post (I could spend all day in there), the Bali store (where I should have been professionally fitted for a bra, but everyone working there was about 19, and NO I’m not taking my shirt off in front of a 19 year-old unless he’s REALLY cute and has a thing for saggy old broads), and Liz Claiborne, where I was going to buy some earrings, but I noticed they were asking for everyone’s name, address and phone number, and HELL NO am I going to give out that information for the sheer privilege of buying earrings from them, so I put them back and walked out of the store.
I don’t remember what time we left Kittery, but it was probably close to 5, because we hit some rush hour traffic, made worse by an accident that had us backed up for a couple of miles. I was getting hungry and so was Debbie, so I suggested we stop and eat at LoneStar in South Portland.
The spud fell asleep in the car. If falling asleep in the car were an Olympic event, she’d be buried in gold medals.
We did, and I ordered a steak, and really? Not so great. I think that the steaks Fred has been grilling at home, and the Flo’s Filet I had at Longhorn have ruined me for all other steaks. Luckily, Brian was with us, so I pawned my steak off on him.
We got home and pretty much just hung around the house for the rest of the evening.
Saturday. I… do not for the life of me remember what we did Saturday during the day. Maybe hung around the house, ran a few errands? Oh, I know – at one point my mother and the spud and I went… somewhere. I don’t remember where! Then we stopped at JoAnn’s Fabrics on the way home and I bought a mesh hamper for the cats (confidential to Deb: Actually, the $5 hamper didn’t hold up any better than the $1 ones we’ve been getting at the flea market. When you’ve got a Booger-y bastard jumping on top of the hamper, no hamper’s going to be able to withstand that for long.) and some magnet picture frames for the fridge.
Then we went down a few stores to the cut-rate card store (can’t remember the name), so I could buy some wrapping paper to wrap Brian’s birthday present, so I could give it to him before I left for home. His birthday’s not ’til the 20th of this month, but I’d seen a 
Someone tell me what this plant is. I want one. Unless it’s poisonous to cats. And then I want two. (Heh! Kidding!)
“You pipple giffs me zee headache.”
“Who weel trow zee ball for zee Bahnjee?”
The t-shirt I got for Brian. (picture taken by Debbie.)
“I hate you people and your flashy things.” (picture taken by Debbie.)
People didn’t hang around too long; in fact, I think everyone cleared out by a little after 7. We planned to meet up at The Old Country Buffet in South Portland for a late breakfast, because 1. It being Sunday, it’s the law that you must go out for breakfast. and 2. The spud’s flight for home was leaving a little after 1:00. (I don’t know if I mentioned this, but when I was buying tickets for the spud and I, it ended up being about $600 more if I fixed it so we were on the same flight home, whereas if I left the day after she did, it was $600 less. She had to be home on Monday to pick up her schedule for school, and she’s almost 18 and has flown all over the place by herself, so I opted for the cheaper tickets.)
I was poking around in the refrigerator looking for a snack around 8:00 when my father told me “You can have anything but that lobster in there!” Thursday, when we had lobster for lunch, the spud and I each had two lobsters, but my parents only had one apiece, and put the other two in the refrigerator to eat at a later date.
I said to my father, “Didn’t you know it’s a crime in the state of Maine to leave a lobster in the refrigerator for more than 24 hours?” and he said “You can have it if you want, I probably won’t eat it.”
He didn’t have to say THAT twice, so I had cold lobster for a snack and it was DIVINE.
We went to the airport, and my mother waited in the car with Mireya while I went inside with the spud. Since she’s still a minor (for a few more months!), I got a pass to go back to the gate with the spud. I made sure she was sitting in front of the right gate and was all settled, told her we would stay in the Portland area until her flight took off, and that I’d have my cell phone with me, and to call if there were any problems, and hugged her good-bye.
My mother, Mireya, and I went to the Maine Mall, where we walked around and looked in a few stores. There was nothing we hadn’t seen just the week before, so we mostly wandered around while waiting for the spud to call and tell us she’d boarded the plane.
Except that instead of calling and telling me she’d boarded the plane, she called and said “They made an announcement and I don’t know what they said. Something about connecting flights.”
So I said “Is there someone in a uniform standing near the gate?”
And the conversation went on, pointlessly, for a few minutes before I finally just said “Well, we’re headed toward Lisbon Falls. Call when you’re boarding and call if there are any problems.” I was gambling that there wouldn’t be any more problems, but even if there was, Lisbon Falls is only about half an hour from the airport, so it isn’t like the spud would have to cool her heels for hours while waiting for us to come back. And I was tired of hanging around the airport.
So we headed back toward Lisbon Falls, and when we were almost there, the spud called to let me know they were boarding her plane. I told her to call me from Cincinnati if she had the chance, and we hung up.
We were originally supposed to have dinner at Tracy’s house, he was going to make chili, but by the time he got groceries and got home, it was too late to make the chili – it needs to cook for something like six hours – so we said we’d do it another time.
Hummingbird outside the kitchen window.
Liz called to see what I was doing, and asked if I wanted to go to Brunswick with her. I didn’t really want to hang around the house – my mother looked like she was ready for some quiet napping-on-the-couch time – so I told her I’d love to go to Brunswick with her. We ended up dropping Mireya off at Debbie’s house so Tracy could pick her up there, and wouldn’t have to go all the way to my parents’ house, and then we were on our way to Brunswick.
We had dinner at Applebee’s first; Liz had something I don’t remember, with a side of coconut shrimp, one of which she gave me, and it was really good. I ended up with a dish that had garlic asiago chicken (WAY too salty, but also somehow bland. Don’t ask me how they did that.) and butterfly shrimp on the side.
If I could eat shrimp for breakfast, lobster for lunch and shrimp and lobster for dinner every day, I’d die a very happy woman.
When we were done eating, we went over to Wal-Mart to do a little shopping. Liz had a grocery list of stuff she needed, and I picked up a few things I didn’t really need, but that’s never really stopped me, has it? I think we spent about half an hour in Wal-Mart, watching people and talking, and slowly shopping, before we left.
We stopped at Debbie’s to drop off a hamburger for Brian (he’d requested we get a burger from Applebee’s for him). Debbie was sleeping on the couch, so Liz quickly checked her email, and I went up to say good-bye to Brian, since I was leaving for home the next day, and then Liz dropped me off and told me to give her a call when I got home.
Later that evening, I was poking around looking for a snack AGAIN, and my mother told me I could have her lobster, which was still sitting in the refrigerator.
Suh. Weet! That was the second night in a row I’d eaten cold lobster for a snack, and it’s a snack I HIGHLY recommend. I ended up eating a side of tuna salad (my mother’s tuna salad is basically twirly pasta, tuna, mayo, onion, and green peppers), which was odd, because I haven’t been able to stand the thought of eating tuna salad in years. I ate too much tuna as a kid, I think, and as an adult I haven’t had it even once. But I tried it at the cookout Saturday night, and it really hit the spot.
In fact, I ate the rest of the tuna salad with a scrambled egg for breakfast the next morning after I showered and finished packing. I don’t like green peppers, so I just pushed the pieces of green pepper to the side and ate the rest.
Since my flight wasn’t leaving until mid-afternoon, I had a chance to go to the post office (I had a couple of packages to mail home) and then I drove into Durham so I could go down Shiloh Road and take a couple of pictures of the Shiloh Chapel.
This yellow house is directly across the street from the Shiloh Chapel. Very “me”, dontchathink?
I went back to my parents house, and we hung out until about noon, when my mother and I went to The Muddy Rudder for lunch (I had a lobster wrap, which isn’t on the menu, but they’ll happily make it for you), and then went from there to the airport.
We ended up at the airport about 45 minutes earlier than I would have liked, but I had the laptop with me, and figured there’d be a wireless connection I could hook up to, plus I had a couple of books with me, so I knew the time would go by quickly.
(By the way, have I mentioned I hate the laptop? Not because it’s a bad laptop – it’s a good one – but because it is SO FUCKING HEAVY that it kills me to carry the fucking thing around. I need one half the size and a third of the weight. I swear, if I took the laptop in to my physical therapist and told her I had to carry it around the airport, she would GASP IN HORROR.)
I was able to hook up to the wireless network, and I actually ended up in the “business center” at a desk, where I surfed the web and listened to someone talk VERY LOUDLY on his cellphone (“
I let my mother pick out my color, ’cause there were way too many choices, and I was overwhelmed.
My mother and I were standing in her closet and she opened a drawer filled with jewelry (she has jewelry for DAYS, too. At least two drawers full, and we’re not talking little drawers, either, we’re talking big, deep drawers) and I started trying on rings, asking her questions about various rings, where they came from, all that. I tried on the ring above and it fit perfectly, and I modeled it for her… and then she told me I could have it, if I wanted.
Of COURSE I wanted. I fell in love with that ring as soon as I saw it, but I certainly never thought she’d just up and give it to me.
Another side note about the pictures above. While I was in Maine, my ankles were SO FREAKIN’ SWOLLEN, especially the left one, that I swear to god it looked like they were wearing fat suits. My feet aren’t usually quite so swollen, and neither are my hands. In fact, my grandmother’s ring? I had to move it over to my middle finger, ’cause it’s too big for my ring finger. I still wear it every day, though. I LOVE THAT DAMN RING.
Seriously? Seriously, folks? I never EVER thought I’d be this attached to jewelry that isn’t my engagement ring or wedding band. It’s like I’m turning into some sentimental type person I’ve never been before. Maybe it comes with getting old(er)?
After our mani/ pedis, we headed back to my parents’ house where I either woke up the spud, or she was already up (I don’t recall), and then for lunch we had… lobster! My god how I love lobster. I could easily eat sixteen lobsters every single day and never ever get sick of them, I swear I could.
We hung around the house for a little while, basically waiting for the corn I’d eaten to go through my system (though I lamely said “Well, let’s let our lunch settle!”, not that I was fooling anyone, I’m sure), and then my mother, the spud and I headed to Portland to walk around the 
Part of the path goes along the highway (95, if I recall correctly). On the other side of the highway, the B & M Baked Beans factory. And you can TELL they’re canning baked beans in there, ’cause it smells like a giant fart. But in a good way.
Someone tell me what this is.
Across the Back Cove.
We took Benjie with us. After about three steps, he was a panting motherfucker.
I bet it’s even hotter if you’re wearing a fur coat.
Waiting for my mother to come out of the port-a-potty. She reported that it was nasty as hell, so we went across the street to Hanaford Brother’s (previously known as Shop ‘n Save) so I could use the bathroom. I used way too many port-a-potties on this trip, for the record, and if I never have to use another one in my LIFE, it’ll be too soon. What’s worse, having to use a port-a-potty, or having to use a port-a-potty WHILE YOU’RE HAVING YOUR PERIOD?
I don’t know what this tree is, but it’s purty.
Originally, the idea was that when we left Portland, we’d go back to my parents’ house, hang out for a little while, and then Debbie and Liz and I were going to go to The Seabasket for dinner, and maybe a few other places. We ended up having my mother drop me off at Debbie’s house, where we waited for Liz to show up, and then we headed out to The Seabasket.
On the way to Debbie’s house, we were passed by this car on the highway.
Which IMMEDIATELY made me think of 
I had the lobster roll and an unsweetened iced tea, which I highly recommend, and I recommend the lobster stew (wouldn’t have been a good choice for me, though, since I’m pretty sure it would have given me an upset stomach), but really – anything at all you get here is going to be damn fine.
After we left The Seabasket, we went directly across the street to 
Liz ended up buying the chef’s hat and wearing it for the rest of the evening and would randomly yell out “Shut it DOWN!” We stopped at Bookland in Brunswick so I could see if they had a paperback copy of 
Bumper stickers I didn’t buy.
(An aside on books: I got all excited when I was in Sam’s last week, because it appeared that there was a brand new Harlan Coben hardcover out, and I thought my god in heaven, how much writing does this man DO? The new Myron Bolitar only came out a few months ago!, then I looked closer and saw that it was a re-release of the first Myron Bolitar. So if you’ve read all the Myron Bolitar books, don’t be deceived if you see Deal Breaker in the stores. It’s not a new book, it’s a re-release!)
So we left the restaurant and headed for Magnolia, which is one of my favorite places to shop in Maine. They have those really rude 
My dad actually built this dry sink with his two little hands. I love it.
I LOVE this.
Also this. Not that we’d ever need a china cabinet, but this is the kind I’d want if we needed one.
This too!
I tried to stick to more protein-y options at the buffet, but something didn’t agree with me pretty quickly, and I considered just going home instead of to the movies, but I really wanted to see The Lake House (I love that Sandra Bullock) and I figured, the movie theater has a bathroom if I’m going to be sick, so I ended up going. Debbie didn’t go with us, so it was just me, my mother, and the spud.
I’ve gotta say, I liked the movie. I missed about twenty minutes right in the middle of it, because I was standing in the bathroom dry-heaving, but I didn’t feel like I missed anything, and I ended up liking it. In fact, I think I’m going to rent it when it comes out on DVD so I can make sure I didn’t miss anything important.
When we got home, I talked to Fred for a little while, and then went to bed.
Wednesday morning I got up and showered sometime after 8, and my mother suggested that we take the spud and go down to Bailey Island, have lunch at Cook’s Restaurant, then I asked if we could continue on down to Land’s End, the shop at the end of Bailey Island, so I could see if there were more souvenirs I just had to have.
We left sometime in the late morning and had lunch at Cook’s. My mother and the spud had lobster rolls, but I opted to get a steak, because I needed the protein. Their lobster rolls were apparently good, but my steak, which I ordered medium-rare, was twitching-and-mooing raw on the inside with a slightly done outside, and I ended up cutting off the outside and eating that. Not to mention that it was so bland I had to actually put SALT on it so there’d be some kind of flavor. I’ve never had to salt steak before.
Serves me right for ordering steak at a seafood restaurant, I suppose.
After lunch, we walked around down by the water and snapped some pictures.
Note that the spud is now taller than I am.
The 
After walking around for a while, we got in the car and headed for Land’s End.
I hadn’t been down to Land’s End for years and years – probably not since I took a couple of my favorite pictures of the spud when she was a wee one in ’90.
Eventually a bus o’ tourists showed up, so we left and headed back toward my parents’ house.
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It’s a Benji-dog.
Monday morning I woke up early and took a shower and got dressed. The original plan for Monday was that Debbie and my mother and I were supposed to go shopping in Freeport and then go see the matinee of 
Debbie’s cat Punki.
Bumper sticker seen on a car. I need one!
Debbie’s cat Tigger.
We ended up having a good time in Freeport – I got another 
Before.
After.
Remember 
The flight was pretty uneventful, except for the fact that I got freezing cold about halfway through the flight, put on my jacket (see? I’m no dummy. I knew I was going to get cold!), and immediately the flight attendant turned on the heat and I started sweltering.
(But I wasn’t complaining, because one of the many oddities of having lost weight is that I would 63 times rather be hot than cold.)
We landed in Portland on time – if not a little early – and I was pretty much the last one off the plane. I called to let Fred know I’d arrived, and then headed off the plane and across the concrete toward the set of stairs leading to my gate.
And the goddamn camera fell out of my purse and landed on the concrete, and the fucking thing shattered like you wouldn’t believe.
I immediately called Fred and said “You. Are. Going. To. KILL ME.” but he remained really pretty calm, and we discussed how I could look for a camera at Best Buy or Staples the next day, but use my father’s camera (he has the exact same model we have) until then.
I got my luggage as it came off the carousel (and how impressed am I that Portland now has THREE luggage carousels? SO VERY impressed, I am.), and was just headed toward the door to bring my luggage outside and call Debbie (we’d agreed I’d just call her when I had my luggage) when I said “Huh. That kid looks just like Brian, only Brian isn’t THAT tall!”, and then I realized that it was, in fact, Brian and he was looking around, talking on his cell phone, and looking puzzled. He finally saw me grinning like a buffoon at him and did a double-take.
“Who are you and what have you done with my Aunt?” he said, as I gave him a hug.
Debbie was out in the short-term parking lot where someone has to stay with the car, and after I gave her a hug, we loaded my luggage in the car (did I mention that I brought two bags with me so I wouldn’t have to mail a big box o’ stuff home? HA.) and headed for Lisbon Falls, but not before stopping at a Big Apple (similar to a 7-11, for those of you not in the area where they have Big Apples) to try to find something I could eat. I ended up buying a Slim Jim-type meat stick and cheese stick, took two bites, and tossed the rest.
We got to my parents’ house pretty late. My father was still up, but my mother had gone to bed. We talked for a few minutes, and then I popped out my contacts, brushed my teeth, and went to bed.
For once, I didn’t sleep very well in my parents’ basement. It’s so dark and quiet down there that I usually sleep like a rock, but I tossed and turned for most of the night, finally giving up and getting up around 7 or so the next morning.
(When I was 17, I actually worked down near 5 Islands. On Malden Island, to be exact. If you go 
Debbie’s cats – Punki (the dilute calico) and Tigger (the orange cutie).
(
(
So once the cruise was over, we went over to Cook’s Restaurant to have lunch, because we were both hungry. Cook’s is a seafood place and we talked about getting lobster, but I wasn’t in the mood to take a lobster apart, so I ended up ordering the lobster casserole, which was lobster, surprisingly enough, in a casserole. Basically, it was covered with sauce and 63 pounds of bread crumbs. I got that and the house salad, and a side of coleslaw, and while the salad was good and the coleslaw wasn’t bad, the lobster casserole wasn’t all that. Once I got the breadcrumbs pushed off, the sauce the lobster was in was good, but the lobster itself was overcooked.
At least the tea was really good, I’ll say that.
We left Cook’s to head toward the strip mall where my mother gets her manicures and pedicures, but about halfway there, the salad I’d eaten with lunch was starting to go through me, so we decided to go for the mani/ pedi later in the week, and just went home.
Debbie and Brian were at the house when we got there, and we sat downstairs and talked (and I surfed online a little from my laptop, still trying to get it to hook up with my father’s wireless network, which just really wasn’t working, and I couldn’t figure out WHY). Debbie and I were supposed to meet up with Liz – we were going to see 
The t-shirt I wore today. Every single time I wear something pink, I think of 
We had a very strong windstorm yesterday (it actually knocked the 