Always/ Sometimes/ Never

always dream about living on the ocean. Sometimes I bring up realtor.com and look for houses on the ocean in Maine. A few months ago I found a house in northern Maine, an old schoolhouse located next to a quarry. I think chances are good that I’ll never live near the ocean again. Unless I win the lottery. But then, I almost never play the lottery, so I imagine it would be difficult to win. I always leave the pet store on Monday mornings feeling as relaxed as if I’d had a massage. Sometimes I wish I’d called Fred and whined and whined and whined at him until he gave in and let me adopt the cute-kitty-of-the-moment. I never do, because I’m afraid he might give in. Sometimes I wish I’d had another kid a few years after I had the spud, so that she’d have a brother or sister; I know she’s sometimes lonely as an only child. Whenever I see a baby in a store, or pictures of an adorable baby online, I wait to get hit with the I-want-a-baby-ouch-my-uterus blues. I never do. Sometimes I wonder what kind of weirdo writes about her life online for more than five years straight; this online journaling is such a strange thing. I always wonder if the day will come when I decide to stop journaling; but I never thought I’d still be doing this five years later. Hell, I never thought I’d make it one entire year. It is, by the way, a point of pride for me that I’ve never torn down this site and quit briefly, then come back. I suspect that the first time I do that will be the last. I don’t intend to do that anytime soon. I sometimes wonder who you are, the people who read this site. I always love to get your emails and pictures of your pets, your family, you. I always love to hear your stories, and I always promise myself that I’ll keep on top of my email. I never do, and sometimes you never get a reply from me. I always feel like an asshole for archiving email without responding to it, but when months have gone by, I feel like the time to respond has passed. But I always read your email, even if I never respond. Same with the comments. I always check out the TUS forum first thing every morning, and always read the Pop Culture and Television boards before anything else. I almost never post, though I sometimes start to, then reconsider and delete it before I hit the “continue” button. Someone else has always said what I wanted to say, only they put it better. Sometimes I think about putting up my own mini-forum to discuss TV shows so I won’t have to discuss them in entries. But I don’t follow through with that – god knows I’d probably never keep up with it, any more than I kept up with my Couch Potato blog. When I read a particularly heartfelt or difficult entry on someone’s blog or journal, I always feel like a jerk for not commenting or emailing the journaler/ blogger. I just never know what to say! Sometimes I post something lame, but mostly I don’t say anything. Doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of and concerned about them, though. I always greet the cats when I walk into a room. Sometimes they respond. Sometimes I’m so overcome with affection for them that I’m afraid I’m going to pick them up and squeeze them ’til their guts come out their eyes. I never do, but don’t think I’m not tempted. I always wait ’til the end of the month to do my WordGoddess collab, have you noticed? Sometimes I think, as soon as I get the email telling what the collab topic for the month is, that I’ll get it done as soon as possible. I never do, though. I’ve always been a procrastinator.

I was out in the back yard last weekend taking pictures, and when I leaned over to take a picture of Da Boog, Miz Poo hopped up on my back and just sat there until Fred came over and took her off.