New month, new banner!
This was created by Christine, who’s done so many of my banners in the past. Doesn’t Joe Bob look faaaabulous in his fancy mask?
Thanks, Christine. As always, you rock!
Vote for Gracie! (Thank you!)
I went to Walmart last week for a reason I no longer remember. I desperately needed… something. What the hell did I need?
ANYway. I went to Walmart, and while I was there I wandered past a FUN da-middles* mixes display, and I impulse tossed a box of the chocolate cupcakes with vanilla filling into the cart, and I bought that box along with everything else I was buying, whatever the hell that might be, and as I was driving home, I thought “Why the fuck did I buy that box? I am three million percent sure that I could have found a recipe online that would give me a better end result than I’m going to get with this mix, I am such a fucking impulse buying lemming ASSHOLE.”
So, Friday evening I made those cupcakes. And the filling? Not a tasty vanilla filling, but really more of a Fluff-type filling which, don’t get me WRONG, I like Fluff well enough, but only when peanut butter is involved, and it wasn’t quite what I was looking for in a cupcake filling.
ANYway.
So I took a couple of bites of the finished cupcake, and I was like “Meh. This is not very tasty.”
Then I ate the rest of the cupcake.
(YOU SHUT UP.)
I said to Fred “Those suck” and then we went to watch TV. Halfway through The Office, I got THE WORST PAIN EVER in my gut, and I sat up and got all groany and drama queeny enough that Fred was offering to take me to the emergency room, and I was all “I guess I’m dumping, but it’s too low to be stomach pain and too high to be (censored), GAH THIS HURTS.”
I went to the bathroom and I’ll not share details with you (YOU ARE WELCOME), but things were flying in all directions for about the next five minutes, and when I came back out of the bathroom, I felt ten times better, but still kind of nauseated.
We started watching TV again, and a few minutes later when Fred was fast-forwarding through commercials, he said “Do you think it was the cupcake?”
“First,” I said. “Do not say that word again. Second of all, make sure you give the rest of them to the pigs because I never want to see them again.”
Fred laughed and laughed about me telling him to stop talking about FOOD when I was nauseated, but damn. Have you ever noticed that when you’re on the verge of barfing, no one ever EVER wants to talk about anything but food when that’s the last thing on earth you want to talk about?
“Was it the sardines, do you think? Was it the softly scrambled, still wet eggs? Was it the bacon where you were eating it and found a piece of bone? Was it that you ate half the chicken and then realized it wasn’t completely cooked? Could that have been it?”
GAH. STOP.
In conclusion: skip those stupid fucking cupcakes, they suck.
*Worst, stupidest, goofiest name on the face of the earth. Seriously, I’d like to find out who came up with the name so I can punch them right in their stupid face. The more I think about the name, the more annoyed I get. SERIOUSLY. What a godawful name.
It was actually a banner weekend for the pigs – I spent time Saturday making apple dumplings from a recipe I won’t link because I didn’t really like the end result, and then I ate one and gave the rest to the pigs.
I think the pigs probably like it when I bake, since my average appears to be about 50/50 on whether it comes out any good, and if I don’t like what I end up with, they’re more than happy to take care of it.
I tend to go a long time between checking my PO Box because I forget to, and it doesn’t get a lot of traffic, so sometimes weeks and weeks will go by before I remember to check it. When I was out running errands yesterday, I decided to stop and check.
Imagine my surprise when I had a package from the fabulous Charlene Butterbean!
As it turned out, reader Mari had ordered some Itty Bitty Kitty Committee sparkle balls and had them sent to me – and Laurie had (at Charlene’s directions, I’m sure) included some gorgeous postcards!
Well, naturally I had to see what the reaction was from the kitties. First, I tried Alice.
“I am sleeping, lady. You go ‘way.”
And then I took them in to Charlie and Patty Peppers to see what their reaction would be.
First Charlie knocked a blue sparkle ball off the bed and ran off to kick it around the room (he REALLY liked his sparkle ball, but every picture I got of him was blurry!)
And then Patty chose a pretty pink sparkle ball.
While Patty and Charlie played with their sparkle balls, I took some out to the living room, where the big Peppers were hanging out.
Everett’s pretty sure pink is his color.
Sally thinks pink goes nicely with her collar.
Molly, also a fan of pink.
Everett thinks perhaps blue works better for him…
Or red?
Harlan comes in to see what all the fuss is about.
Eventually, Everett settled on blue.
Thank you to Mari and Charlene (Laurie) for the cool gifts. I highly recommend the sparkle balls, and the post cards are even more gorgeous in person – and they’re nice, sturdy postcards, not those flimsy ones you find in the store. You can get your own post cards or sparkle balls here!
“Hey…”
“What the – ?”
In the end, Alice smacked the ball and stomped off to take a nap.
Previously
2010: No entry.
2009: No entry.
2008: Wouldn’t I be an excellent slacker vacation host?
2007: I was a little shaky as I looked around the first floor of the garage, then I said “I have a gun and I’m coming up there!” and I went upstairs.
2006: He’s always a party pooper.
2005: If I hadn’ta covered my head with my hands, I might be DEAD right now!
2004: No entry.
2003: “No,” Fred said. “You’re the muffinhead. DID SHE STAND OVER YOU AND MAKE YOU INSTALL IT??”
2002: Spanky is the Lance Bass of our family.
2001: I guess if tomorrow’s Day Zero and Friday is Day One, that makes today Day Negative One.
2000: No entry.