I am having The Organ That Shall Not Be Named removed next Wednesday
coughcoughcoughUTERUScoughcoughcough
and thus I am spending a lot of time sitting around feeling like there’s something I should be doing, but when I try to pin it down, I have no fucking clue what it is. The house is cleanish, the laundry is done, the bills are paid, the checkbook is balanced, and I even cleaned out the worst of my desk drawers yesterday. I’m going to get groceries later today, and will make several dishes that can be frozen so that Fred will have to do very little cooking while I’m recovering from surgery. On Monday I’ll clean the house and make sure we have sufficient supplies of cat food and litter in stock (might require a trip to Sam’s, now that I think about it).
Other than that, I can’t think of a damn thing I need to do. I always get this way when something big is coming up, I get antsy and spazzy and at loose ends. Even when I’m about to go on vacation, I get all “But this desk drawer needs to be organized RIGHT NOW, I don’t care how late I have to stay up and get it done!”
Did you know that That Organ weighs less than a pound? I think it can be bigger and weigh more if it’s been stretched out by having a lot of kids (Michelle Duggar’s must account for half her body weight). Less than a pound. That figures – there go my dreams of having mine out and shrinking to Super Model size.
Stupid That Organ.
You don’t think my appendix thinks I’m talking about it, do you? NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, APPENDIX. GO BACK TO SLEEP.
Someone who is not blood relation to me highly HIGHLY disapproves of the fact that I am having a partial hysterectomy. This person is fond of lecturing Fred long and loud about how I should NOT have a hysterectomy, that THEY (okay, SHE) could have had a hysterectomy when such-and-such happened, but she insisted on keeping her That Organ, and on and on and onnnnnn. Her disapproval is not assuaged by the fact that I am keeping my cervix and ovaries. She is not swayed from her disapproval by the talk of painful, never-ending periods nor the small fibroid that has taken up residence. She. Does. Not. Approve.
Has she expressed her displeasure (about the removal of an organ that does not concern her in the slightest) directly to me? Why, no. No, she has not. She prefers to lecture Fred at length.
She adores the sound of her own voice.
If she were to confront me about the fact that I am having That Organ removed despite her strong disapproval, I would say:
1. “Not your decision. Doesn’t involve you.”
2. “Not Fred’s decision. Not his That Organ.” (Though I did talk to him at length before I scheduled the operation. I’M NOT A MONSTER.)
3. “And thank you ever so much for believing that I am so goddamn ignorant that I am unable educate myself, weigh my options, and make my own informed decision without your extensive input. Clearly it was a spur-of-the-moment decision and I have no idea how to do research on any subject, ever. Please, please educate me. SHOW ME THE WAY. Obviously I SHOULD have begged for your input, given that in the time I’ve lived here, we’ve exchanged perhaps 1,000 words total.”
UGH.
And that’s all I have to say ’bout that.
Warning about Kindle book prices- I heard a news story on NPR’s Marketplace yesterday that Kindle book prices will likely be going up. Apple cooked up some kind of deal with publishers for the iPad, to the general effect of Apple charging more for ebooks if publishers give their business exclusively to Apple. So now Amazon will have to charge more, too, if they want to keep access to those publishers. Crappy that more competition is resulting in higher prices.
Bastards! All of them!
Oh, and I know you mentioned that you saw Food, Inc. but I can’t remember if you liked it. I was going to rent it yesterday and decided to wait until I knew if you thought it was worth a watch!
Oh, I liked it a lot! I don’t remember anything about it (I’m surprised I remember my name these days), but I know I liked it. A lot! 🙂
I have a question, but you may have addressed it before. What do you scoop your litter boxes into? I have been using plastic grocery bags, but I’d like to stop using them. I just didn’t want to lug a big container (like empty litter pails, which I put the bags into, but I don’t always have one available) into the kitchen twice a day to scoop the two litter boxes, then lug it back to the garage. I’m not really sure there’s another option, though.
I used to buy plastic bags at Sam’s Club in bulk – I think they were 10 gallon bags – reassuring myself that I wasn’t killing the environment AS MUCH because they were smaller than the plastic bags you get at the grocery store, and they’re also a thinner plastic. (Also, less prone to having holes in the bottom. How many times in years past have I wandered through the house scooping litter boxes into grocery store bags, spilling nasty litter all over the place? COUNTLESS times, I assure you!) Recently, I bought biodegradable bags in bulk from eBay (“in bulk” should be my middle name) and have been using them. The upside: biodegradable! The downside: I can’t fit all the litter clumps from 7 litter boxes in one bag. Sometimes, I can’t fit all the litter clumps from 7 litter boxes in TWO bags. So, biodegradable, but I use more of them.
What earth-friendly options are the rest of you using? I’m always interested to hear other suggestions!
Hubby works for Lowe’s. They have a new policy for employees that they ALL must be on the floor helping customers between 10-2 weekdays and 10-5 on weekends. That means no trucks can be unloaded, no forklifts (unless getting something for a customer) etc. My guess is either you went right before those hours and they were all trying to get their back stuff done or you just had a bunch of bad luck that day.
I’m thinking very hard here (can’t you see the smoke?), but I’m 75% sure it was after 10:00. I wonder if perhaps they just don’t get much call for assistance in that area, so the employees were concentrated in other areas of the store.
Go and see Avatar – I loved it and I find it hard to sit still through movies at the best of times.
Pardon me while I guffaw at my hilarity. I love accusing others of being skimmers, maybe because I myself am a skimmer.
We DID go see Avatar, a few days after Christmas. I only mentioned it in passing, though, so I can’t blame you for missing it.
Also, no way is Fred going to leave the ranch for a holiday any time soon! You have zero chance of a trip to Florida!
Oh, I don’t think I have zero chance – especially once the chicken yards are combined and we can worry a little less about the chickens falling prey to marauding raccoons or possums or whatever. I put my odds at, oh, 25%. Maybe 10%. We’ll see! If it comes down to it, I can always take myself to Florida!
How big is that tv, Miz Robyn???
It is… 52 inches? 46? 39? Fuck if I know. I better ask Fred.
I was right the first time – it’s a 52 inch LCD TV. I finally convinced Fred that we needed to replace our 62″ huge-ass piece of shit TV. As a result, Fred whines and moans and complains about how “tiny” the new TV is, but you know what? I can SEE the freakin’ picture on this TV, so I’m happy! When we had the old TV, we rented the most recent Harry Potter movie, but had to turn it off after 10 minutes because the picture was so dark we couldn’t see what the fuck was going on. We rented it again after we got the new TV (AND a Blue-Ray player), and the picture was crisp and clear and easy to see.
As a bonus, the Blue-Ray player will stream Netflix movies. Fred was supposed to get it set up (with a wireless something-or-other) before I have surgery next Wednesday, but I’m not sure he’ll have time.
I guess I’ll just have to content myself with endless episodes of Roseanne and Friends and Sex and the City!
Regarding the smell of canned cat food on hands… I have no idea if this would work, but you know those stainless steel bars (shaped like soap) that are awesome for ridding hands of onion reekage? The package claims it works on other “strong scents” so I wonder if it would help with cat food. A long shot, I think, but maybe…
I need to get one of those bars, because I swear to god I chop an onion just about every day and walk around with Onion Hands, which is ever so pleasant.
Just saw a snip of History Channel’s “Modern Marvels: THE EGG” – some really neat stuff on that show, several kinds of “free range” organic operations, and a cute funny English chicken farmer (in America) at the end. Have you seen this show? If not I thought of you & thought you’d find it interesting. Aigs!
I have not seen that show – but I’m definitely going to check it out! (Though I’m not positive that we get the History Channel.)
Does the doll chime?
When my daughter was a wee one I bought her a pricey, at the time, chiming bird and she would never play with it. Now I’m wondering if she thought it was creepy.
The doll does not chime. Though it does breathe fire and threaten to steal my soul, is that similar?
I kid.
Y’all’s hatred for the doll in yesterday’s comments cracks me up. I kind of like it! Creepy’s not always bad, you know. I’m going to position it facing the front door so that anyone who breaks in will be frightened off by it. Or will have their face chewed off by it, one or the other!
Miz Poo has been spending a LOT of time rubbing her face on the doll. I hope the doll’s not giving her any ideas!
You might answer this on the Friday question day, but I wondered if you were watching the “Real Housewives of OC”?? what do you think of the new girl and her husband. Am I the only one who thinks he is a pompous ass?! I forget their names. She is blonde, they have twin little ones and a nanny.
Oh, INDEED I am! Alexis and Jim is who you’re referring to, and EVERYONE thinks Jim is a pompous ass, believe me. They’re a fairly insufferable couple, the two of them (some sites refer to her as Jesus Barbie, which couldn’t possibly be a better nickname). I can barely stand to look at her, with her humongous fake boobs and humongous fake lips. She’s going to be crippled by back pain within 5 years, if she isn’t already. I thought Jim was a TAD more likable in last week’s episode, when he was trying to help Alexis’ two brain cells figure out how to force Gretchen and Tamra to get along, but still. Alexis and Jim have TWO nannies, yet still poor Alexis must break away and have a few hours of “me” time at the spa every now and then. THANK GOD she’s able to do that, she CLEARLY spends all her other time (when she’s not lunching with friends or working out at the gym or hanging out at the track) just giving and giving and GIVING.
I think the producers must have some sort of stake in making sure that Donn is the ONLY likable husband (or man, really) on that show.
I don’t know why Alexis is so hell-bent on making Gretchen and Tamra make up. The two of them get along perfectly well in social situations, who cares if they secretly loathe each other?
Lynne and her husband are a fucking mess, and I think that if they got their shit together, took the fucking PHONE away from their spoiled little 17 year-old and stopped giving her money, Princess would shape right the fuck up. I have no patience for parents who won’t parent and then whine “Where did we go wrooooong?” My prediction: Lynne will be in rehab before the next season starts.
I have actually felt sorry for Tamra this season, since she’s obviously so deeply unhappy. She needs to stop worrying about what the hell Gretchen is doing, and worry about her own ass. In case you hadn’t heard, Simon has filed for divorce (and good fucking riddance to HIM.)
Vicki doesn’t seem to be around much this season, does she? I know she was slated to have some big blowup with Alexis in last night’s show, but I haven’t watched it yet, so don’t have an opinion on that. I think that almost splitting with Donn last season scared her into realizing she’s got it pretty damn good. Her reaction was super odd when he gave her that ring last week, though, wasn’t it? She almost looked scared as she was opening the box!
I like Gretchen, but she needs to stop laughing like a hyena every time she says something even slightly humorous. Also, do we really NEED another makeup line? Please. Also also, FUCKING LOSE THAT LOSER SLADE. Thank you.
Your thoughts, OC lovers?
So, I emailed the shelter manager yesterday to ask if there was going to be room for Steely Dan and Fagen at the adoption center soon. I’m having surgery next Wednesday (I’m going to be spayed! Well, partially spayed. I bet the vet wouldn’t charge nearly as much as my surgeon. AND I’d get to go home the same day! Too bad the vet has a no-operating-on-humans policy. Or I assume she does, anyway.) and I had hoped to get them settled before then. Not that they’re any problem – they’ve meshed pretty seamlessly with our cats, and if they needed to stay longer, they certainly could. But I won’t be lifting anything heavy for a few weeks, so either they’d need to go soon, or wait ’til I recovered enough to lift them.
(Yes, Fred COULD take them to the adoption center and get them set up, but I prefer to do it myself.)
Anyway, she said she was sure we could figure something out, and then later she emailed me and said that since I was going to Petsmart to scoop litter boxes and make sure all the cages had food and water (I was filling in for the regular Thursday evening volunteer), I could just bring them with me and get them all set up.
So, I did. Those boys went into the carrier very easily, hardly made a peep on the drive to the store, and were mostly curious about what was going on at the store.
I honestly expected that they’d both run into the litter box and hide immediately upon being put into their cage, but they looked around curiously for a long time.
(And then Steely Dan went into the litter box to hide, while Fagen sat in the cage. I rather expected it to be the other way around!)
They’ve both been given very strict instructions to look super cute (NOT a hard job for them) and to get themselves adopted before the weekend is up!
Send happy adoption thoughts this way, would you?
Steely Dan on the couch; Fagen shooting hate rays from between the couches.
Steely Dan: “I don’t know, it’s kind of nice… Our own food and water, litter box, some cool toys…”
Fagen: :::HATE:::
Steely Dan: “I think I’m going to go hide in the litter box.”
Fagen: :::HATE:::
(Fagen was hating because I had just snuggled and kissed him, then removed a few eye boogers from his eye. O the indignity!)
This boy right here? He’s 3 pounds, 7 ounces of pure needy love. You come into the room, you pet him. ONLY him. You try to pet one of his sisters and he WILL NOT HAVE THAT.
Did I mention that these guys are enjoying the heck out of their brand new Ham-Mick?
They really are.
Seriously!
Also comes in handy when the fightin’ urge strikes. You can fight in comfort!
Why so serious? (Jake the lunatic.)
Previously
2009: The volume of a tiny pig squealing is utterly amazing.
2008: At one point I turned around to say something to Sugarbutt, who was sitting by the screen door leading to the back yard, smacking at the cat door, and I saw every single chicken sitting on the back steps, staring expectantly at me, hoping I’d send some food their way.
2007: God. That sounds just like a herd of elephants, I thought.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: I DON’T KNOW YOU, I CAN’T CHAT WITH YOU, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
2003: Pictures found.
2002: That’s just the kind of sucky slacking emailer I am.
2001: You know, if I had ANY self-control at all, I’d wait to buy these books ’til they come out in paperback.
2000: No entry.