Yesterday was one of those days.
First, it rained really hard all night, so the back forty was half under water – there was even water up under the chicken coop, and I don’t think that’s happened before. Fred called from work to ask me to put my boots on – my tall ones, the ones I’d just packed away last weekend – and slog out to turn the lower part of the electric fence off. Since the lower wires were completely submerged, it wasn’t working, so needed to be turned off. I did that, and then stood and watched George and Gracie racing around through the water. Those dogs certainly do like to get wet. The water in one part of the back forty was deep enough for them to swim in, I think, and they were wading around, chest-high, drinking the water and barking at things I could not see.
(That they drink the water just grosses me out. That seems like a recipe for a walloping case of dysentery. Gah. Yeah, I know they’re dogs and it’s what they do, but still. GROSS.)
Then I came inside and began collaring up the cats so they could go outside. It was raining and except for Tommy they don’t like to run around in the rain, but they like to have the OPTION of going out and sitting in the rain, so I let them do whatever the hell they want.
I got Kara, Tommy, and Mister Boogers collared up, but I couldn’t find Sugarbutt anywhere. I thought perhaps he’d slipped into Fred’s room when Fred came out to get ready for work, so I ran upstairs and looked. No Sugarbutt. I looked in all his usual hangouts, I looked under the couches, and still – no Sugarbutt. I began to wonder if Fred had mistaken Sugarbutt for Newt and let him out the side door. I looked out the side door – no Sugarbutt.
Finally, I went out into the back yard where the other cats were wandering around (the rain had momentarily stopped), and Sugarbutt was sitting on the air conditioning unit. Somehow, he’d waited ’til I was looking elsewhere and slipped past me out the door.
I approached him to put his collar on, and he knew exactly what I was trying to do. He did a big jump off the air conditioning unit and ran across the yard in great big leaps, bellowing “FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!” the entire way. I chased him over to the patio, then got smart and hid the collar behind my back.
“Hey, Suggie,” I said, super-casual. “How’s it going?”
He completely forgot that I was trying to take his freedom away, and came over for an ear scratch. I started to bring the collar around to put on him, he caught a glimpse of it, and off he raced again. In the end, after a couple of circuits around the back yard, he ran into the house and I lured him back into the laundry room by dumping more cat food into one of the bowls. He heard the telltale sound of OMG! FRESH FOOD!, came running, bellied up to the bowl, and I snapped his collar on.
Things calmed down for a while ’til Fred called and told me that he’d ordered some posts and wood that would be delivered momentarily, and then I hung up the phone and glanced over into the small chicken yard. Fred combined the two younger batches of chickens – the seven born at the beginning of February, and the 34 born at the beginning of this month – last weekend. They’re in the blue coop, and he made a small yard to the side of the coop so they can come outside if they want to, or come out and go back in. Apparently a few of the little chickens had figured out how to get out of the little yard, and were wandering around making their “I am lost and scared, how do I get home?” noise.
I went out and spent half an hour trying to catch the two little brats, caught one of them, but couldn’t catch the other to save my life. I came inside and called Fred to bitch at him about it, said I hoped the little shithead got caught and eaten by a hawk, and then I glanced out the window to find anarchy.
However those two had gotten out of the little yard, another ten or so had gotten out the same way, and were wandering around. I swore, hung up the phone, and went out to corral them back into their little yard. One particularly stubborn little bastard went hauling ass away from the coop, but apparently had time for a leisurely stop to pick up a worm before he began running from me again.
I got all the little chickens put back in their yard and was just bending down to check under the coop to see if there were any other escapees, when the guy showed up to deliver the wood and concrete Fred had ordered.
(He’s making a shade-type structure to go on the front of the chicken coop so that the dogs and chickens will have a place to hang out when it’s raining and can stay relatively dry.)
So I stood around while the guy unloaded everything and talked about his daughter’s blue heelers (these are dogs, I assume) and how we have a little of everything, animal-wise, how his parents are talking about getting chickens (his mother doesn’t like chickens, but his father really wants some), how his mother trades a guy at a grocery store a pound of shelled pecans for 12 dozen eggs, how his parents went to some store that was going out of business and bought all their meat, and had to get two deep freezes to keep all the meat, how his father shot off his mouth and now his mother won’t cook for him ’cause he doesn’t appreciate her. And so forth.
He left, and I went to rescue the other escapees. It took some doing, but I finally got the little brats back into their yard, and then I went and found scraps of wood to block up the gaps where they were escaping.
After a morning like that, is it any wonder I spent the afternoon napping on the floor of the foster kitten room with a bunch of purring little kittens?
Boiled okra??? *cringe* How would one make boiled okra that would make it appetizing? I imagine the sliminess factor would be wayyy off the charts.
I have no idea on earth how to make boiled okra that is appetizing – as far as I’m concerned, it’s a nasty, slimy mess, but Fred eats it (and he insists on growing WAY too much of it), so I’ll boil that shit up for him and eat something else as a vegetable for that meal.
I do like oven-fried (or fried) okra, and I like it stir-fried in our vegetable medley, but I won’t eat it boiled. Blech.
A couple of years ago I was on a jury with a woman who was a retired doctor. I thought she seemed a little young to have retired (she looked to be in her early 50’s) so I nosily inquired why. She said that when she first started practicing she was told that to make a decent living she would need to see 8-10 patients a day. Once HMO’s came into play and also when medical malpractice insurance costs skyrocketed, by the end of her practicing days she needed to see 32 patients a day to make a living and she felt the quality of care she could give patients was diminished. HUGE difference and a really interesting insight on why the doctor is always hustling around like their a@@ is on fire.
Good god – Fred’s doctor is open from 8 to 4 (and they’re closed for an hour and a half in the middle of the day). I can’t imagine trying to cram 32 patients into that time frame!
My aunt was walking her dog a few years back when a woman walking toward her stopped her and said, “That dog is so ugly, it’s almost cute!” My very quick-witted aunt promptly replied, “I bet that’s what people say about you.”
HA! I wish I was quick-witted like that. I come up with some pretty good comebacks – two days later. ::sigh::
About the yogurt cure – I don’t get the yeasties often, but they’re pesky when they show up. And the OTC products? Give me hives. Good times. Anyway, yogurt really does work, and it’s quite easy to freeze: take a pair of thin latex gloves. Stuff each finger full o’unflavored yogurt. Freeze. When needed, you can chop off a finger, and you’ve got you a nice cold cootch-sicle (and the cold helps with that fabulous burning, itching).
and
As for the yeast infection, I started taking an acidophilus capsule (live yogurt cultures) daily and have never had a yeast infection since. My gynecologist recommended the acidophilus. Bonus it not only keeps your cooch bacteria in balance it also keeps the balance of good and bad bacteria in your belly and intestines.
I swear to god, my readers know absolutely everything! Thanks for the insight, you guys. 🙂
If you cut the lotion bottle, is there only enough for one use or does it dry up before you can use it all??
I usually get several more uses out of the lotion left in the bottle – I use a sandwich bag over the top of the half bottle so the lotion won’t dry up.
finally got a chance to read the penny pincher story. Why do I feel like I live on a different planet than the commenters in the story? I have always used coupons but don’t buy just to use a coupon, I have a thingy that squeezes the toothpaste out of the tube, I use generic products after a trial run to make sure the product is good, buy things on sale usually. Anyway, you would think I lived on a compound with my husband and six of his other wives. No wonder we are in trouble if these basic cost saving things are considered awe inspiring and ground breaking. I have not tried the vinegar fabric softener yet. Does it leave any type of fragrance/odor. I am VERY sensitive to fragrance/odor.
Yeah, I love that steps we take that just make sense to us are viewed by some people as “Wow! That is SO FRUGAL!” Ask Fred – frugal is NOT my middle name.
The vinegar doesn’t leave any odor at all – it evaporates as your laundry dries, and you can’t smell it at all, I promise!
Have you tried those water hog type of rugs/mats? I’ve heard they are really great at trapping dirt/water and are indestructible. I don’t have any personal knowledge, though.
I haven’t tried a water hog mat, actually – I can’t tell by looking at a picture of them whether they can be vacuumed, and that’s my number one requirement, that it be vacuum-able. The mat we originally had by the back door couldn’t be vacuumed (well, it could, but all the stuff wouldn’t come up because the mat was deep and prone to hold on to the crap that got tracked across it) and it drove me nuts.
I would like to see your grown up cats all lined up in a row like that! Think they’d go for it? No hissing, smacking, or eating off of each other’s plates?!
I don’t see that happening in this lifetime, no. Kara tends to get so excited at snack time that she runs around and growls at everyone and smacks them, and Spanky will run away if anyone gets too close to him, and Mister Boogers is just generally an asshole. Getting a picture like that might be my new goal, though – I’d certainly like to be able to!
shout out for pet lovers- does anyone know where to find the milkbone line of dog toys? my jack russell’s birthday party is wednesday and i need to find a replacement for his favorite toy that he has thoroughly destroyed!
although my life is boring, i have a new blog. be sure to visit and enter for a free ipod!
and
Lisa, I see the Milkbone toys at Walgreens here in Texas.
I echo the cuteness of the kitteh pics. And I totally agree, Best Ever pic of MizPoo. Totally notecard worthy even (hint hint)…will there be an assortment of And3rson Kitteh Notecards in your future? I carefully rationed out my Tubby Christmas cards last year because my supply of 3 packs was running low; I saw you still had them so I will probably get more in the future. But general notecards with kittehs are always appreciated around here as my best friend is the CrazyCatLady and I’d love some to write to her on. *Just another hint hint*
I’ve considered trying to put together an assortment of notecards featuring some of my favorite cat pictures (our cats, and fosters as well), but never really got to the point of looking around for a place to do it. I don’t believe it’s cost effective to do it on CafePress, but that’s something I might try to put together in the future. 🙂
I’ve only seen that lol cat as this one, but it also made me laugh:
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
I knew I’d seen that picture before. It cracks me UP.
I just created a blog for the first time. I really want it to be a place to rant and rave. I know you’ve had some issues when people “discovered” you. I am mostly worried because there is no way to keep it a secret from my husband. Yet, I know I will want to rant and rave about him. Is there a way you and Fred have dealt with this, or should I just suck it up and come to terms that I won’t be able to freely express my thoughts without him possibly seeing it. In other words, should I just leave him out of it? Also, do you have any other advice? I have changed all names to protect the innocent.
If you’re going to write about someone and you don’t want them to find it, you’re going to want to do it in a place where you can control access – you can have that as a separate section of your site, or on another site altogether. If you have it out in the open, you can change names and locations all you’d like, but I guarantee someone’s going to find it (I seem to recall Sundry being discovered by a member of her family who searched on the name of a drink and managed to stumble across her, and it wasn’t pretty), and they’re likely going to make sure whoever you’re ranting and raving about sees it, too. People are super-helpful that way, I’ve found.
There are sites where you can password protect what you write – wordpress, diaryland (I think) – or you can set it up so that people have to “friend” you to see what you’ve written – LiveJournal and OpenDiary.
As far as what Fred and I do, well – when I feel the need to rant and rave about Fred, I do it to his face most of the time and he generally takes it well. He probably has a web site somewhere – mywifeisaravingbitch.com, perhaps – that I know nothing about.
Did you try surfthechannel.com I think they have every show on tv!
I checked it out – they actually didn’t have much of a selection when it comes to the Real Housewives, sadly.
I’m with you on not giving up Bravo. I’m not the biggest fan of the NY housewives but there’s a new series coming out in May. It’s the real housewives of New Jersey. It originates in two towns very near where my husband grew up. He will LOVE identifying all the places. The cast are related 2 sisters married to 2 brothers and a sister-in-law. Nepotism is big here so it fits. I’ve considered giving up HBO/Showtime/Starz as well. There are alot of channels w/o them. Can’t go cheapest though too much good stuff on higher channels.
We discovered that if we switch from Dir3ctTv to Dish N3twork, we can save about $25 a month and still get Bravo – so we’re gonna switch!
And I can’t wait to see the NJ Housewives, I’m sure it’ll be something to see! It sure looks like Bravo’s trying to capitalize on the popularity of the housewives, aren’t they? Another year or two, we’ll have 52 weeks of housewives!
I’m pretty sure (but I’m too damned lazy to check) that hulu.com has the housewives. NBC owns Bravo and hulu, so it should be there. Maybe a few weeks later, but there.
Are you suggesting that I should WAIT to view my crappy reality shows? The very IDEA! (Heh.) Actually, I still haven’t watched this week’s show yet – that’s my plan for later today.
Yeah, they have the housewives, but it looks like I’ll get to keep my Bravo TV anyway – yay!
Is it my imagination or has Kara TOTALLY pudged-up since coming to Crooked Acres?!
SHE HAS NOT. She just has a very round face. I swear to god, she’s not portly at all. She might appear to be portly, but she’s not.
My husband and I were debating. Do you think this is the last season of Big Love? It wrapped up awfully nice.
That’s an excellent question – it didn’t occur to me while I was watching the show, but now that you mention it, I don’t think there are any questions left unanswered by the season finale. It kind of had an air of finality to it, didn’t it?
I have to say that Chloe Sevigny managed to make me feel sorry for Nicki this season, something I never would have suspected she could do. And the scenes with Nicki and Albie were surprising to me – they were both completely different people, open and honest and comfortable with each other, as opposed to how they usually are – guarded and suspicious and untrusting.
I think the white silkie looks like a muppet. An especially beautiful muppet.
I can absolutely see that!
Could you please get a good picture of a fat kitten belly – you know right after they eat and are comatose. I just need a fat kitten belly to look and dream about petting. It will stop me from running and getting a new kitten. My little condo and bed are full with 3 lazy cats, but they are so big. Their fat bellies aren’t as fun to pet as kitten bellies.
There you go! It’s not especially big and round, though. I’ll have to work on getting a shot of Phinneas’s gut; I swear he’s got a little basketball tucked away in there.
Canz we hearz Miz Poo keening?
I haven’t been able to catch her with the Flip Video, but I have a movie of her from a few years ago when we lived in Madison. Crank the sound way up and stab yourself through the eardrum with something sharp to get the full effect.
I love the kittens’ round eyes. will they stay that colour do you think?
Probably not – kittens’ eyes start out the deepest, prettiest blue, and gradually turn to their permanent color, usually shades of green or gray. Their eyes have already started changing, and it’ll be a few weeks, I think, before we really know what color eyes they’ll end up with.
Um, I am sensing that Beulah may be an AndersOn kitty soon. I want to be on the record early with this observation. Just sayin’
Oh, god. Please don’t say that – then I’ve got to say “Of course not, we already have too many cats, lol!” and then immediately adopt three cats. This time next year we’ll probably have 19 of them, and the year after that we’ll be living in the chicken coop and the chickens and cats will be living in the house. All 300 of each.
Beulah, conveniently located so that when the ball comes around the track, she’ll be there to greet it.
More kitten pics over at L&H.
Stinkerbelle gives her man Tommy a look o’ lurve. (Yes, this angle makes her look portly. She’s not. It’s just a bad angle!)
Previously
2008: I suppose that’s what I get for not having a job, ain’t it?
2007: I think you can imagine how very fucking thrilled I was.
2006: It’s a little-known fact that the butt is the tenderest and most flavorful part of the cashew.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: I’d have to have a mind before I lost it, wouldn’t I?
2002: Luckily, I’ve perfected the mental art of putting my hands over my ears and humming very loudly should my mind ever try to wander in that direction.
2001: While we were on the way to the movie store this afternoon, she turned to me and said “For my birthday” which is in October, by the way, “Can I get another kind of pet?”
2000: Since then, Fred and I, predictably, have referred to smoking pot – when seen in movies – as “Smoking the wheat.”