Friday Five.
1. What is one thing you don’t like about your body? My stomach.
2. What are two things you love about your body? My eyes and my calves.
3. What are three things you want to change about your home? 1. I hate that we only have one heating/ air conditioning unit, and the control is by the stairs, so that when it’s freezing downstairs in the winter, it’s sweltering upstairs, and when it’s hot as hell downstairs in the summer, it’s freezing upstairs. 2. I wish we had a screened-in sunporch in the back. 3. I wish there was a door between the computer room and the dining room, so that the cold air coming in through the cat door in the dining room couldn’t make its way into the computer room.
4. What are four books you want to read this year? Oh, let me think. I want to read an F. Paul Wilson “Repairman Jack” book, since according to Fred they kick ass. I want to re-read To Kill a Mockingbird, Good in Bed, and On Writing.
5.What are five promises you have kept to yourself? That I would never harass my child about her weight or what she eats. That I would divorce my first husband. That I would get my ass back on the eat-right-and-exercise wagon. That I would start deleting emails that annoy me instead of responding to them (for the most part I’ve kept this promise).
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Speaking of email, possibly the quickest way to get your email to me flung into the trash folder is to begin it with “To whom it ever it may concern, I didn’t really get your name” and then go on to say “was it alot of money you put out on this traning?and did it work?”
See, if you can’t be bothered to look at the email address that your email is going to, and note that it’s going to ROBYN at hiwaay dot net, then I should help you out why, exactly? And further, if you can’t be less vague about “this training”, then why would I go out of my way to figure out what the fuck you’re asking? And even more, if you can’t be bothered to look through the site to SEE if “did it work?”, then why the fuck is the site there in the first place? Anyone?
Jesus.
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I’m certain that one of these days when I slam my poor pinky toe into something, it’s going to go bouncing across the room, where one of the cats – most likely Tubby – will snatch it up and eat it, after playing with it for a little while.
I swear, I have no control over my body sometimes. These days, I chew gum a lot, and I’ll be minding my own business, chomping away, and ALL OF A FRIGGIN’ SUDDEN my lip will get in the way, and I’ll bite down on it hard enough to make it bleed, and then go reeling around the room, swearing loudly.
Same with my feet. I’ll be walking along, and suddenly my foot FLIES out and slams into the nearest object, making my pinky toe throb and ache for the rest of the day. This morning, I was stepping into the shower, as I do 7, maybe 8, days a week. My pinky toe went slamming into the shower door, and I screamed and swore and then thanked god that Fred wasn’t around, because he would have been laughing his ass off, the bastard.
I’m sorry, pinky toe. I really am.
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Reader Louise asks:
What ever happened to your sister’s fiance?
I assume he’s still living and thriving. He and my sister broke up some time ago. I won’t go into details in honor of her privacy, but I will say that I think she’s way better off without him. Good riddance! (I can rest easy saying that, knowing that he doesn’t read this journal, because he told my sister that he doesn’t. He has no interest in cat pictures, he said. He’s far too busy spending his time harassing someone who used to love him and wishes he’d go the hell away. Loser.)
Have a burning question you’d like answered? Ask!]]>