* * *
I would tell y’all that it makes me very, very sad that so many of you didn’t know that the Dyson filter needs to be cleaned regularly, except that I think I had mine for about a year and a half before I realized it.
There’s a decent little movie here on how to take your filter out, and even how to check for clogs. The guy doesn’t actually show you how to clean the filter, but you just take it out of the hard case and rinse it until the water runs clear. He mentions soap and water, but I don’t believe I’ve ever used soap, just very warm water. I think there are actually written instructions on the hard case on how to clean the filter and case.
Just be very careful that everything is completely dry before you put it back together and vacuum. You don’t want a wet or even slightly damp filter in your Dyson, because I imagine that would cause some serious issues.
Happy vacuuming!
* * *
Yesterday I turned on the TV and the DVR to watch those crazy
Real Housewives bitches, and after I watched that (and I’ll admit I did feel sorry for Lauri because Josh moving in with George’s ex-wife clearly has her all torn up, but that kid is fucking BRILLIANT. He couldn’t have hurt her more if he’d taken away all her plastic surgery money.) I decided to go delete Nip/Tuck from the recording schedule, which is when I realized that another episode had recorded, so I went to delete that, and the summary of the show had me wondering “Huh. Who the fuck is Eden, aside from a Bad Girl, because I think that if you name your child Eden, you are clearly sentencing her to a life of slutty hussyhood.”, and so I had to watch the episode to see what the fuck was going on.
All this is to ask you – why the HELL would a plastic surgeon do examination after examination of an 18 year-old’s sensitive areas without a NURSE present? I’ve never been to a plastic surgeon, but I plan to visit one in the next few months, and given that I am a female who will be mostly nekkid and the surgeon will be squeezing my flab, I expect that there will be a nurse present. Because it’s just GOOD BUSINESS PRACTICE. JESUS.
And back to the Real Housewives, when I heard that Vicki and her husband are downsizing from a 5,000 square foot home to a 4,000 square foot home, my heart broke for her. They’ll be all bumping into each other all the time. How can they stand to have such a TINY house? And spending $250,000 dollars (JANE) on the pool area, what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? That is some crazy-ass shit.
Lastly, Jeana can just shut up with her “I don’t dare to leave Colton alone because he’ll get into trouble!” one second, then the next “We’re off to Berkley! Buh-bye!” and leaving Colton home all alone the next. Please.
* * *
Over the weekend, I – with much help from Fred – put together this year’s Christmas card and uploaded it to
VistaPrint (they have, far and away, the best price on photo cards. I hope like hell that they’re good quality card.). After dithering about it for a few more days, I decided to go ahead and order them last night. I looked to see how many cards I sent out last year (330), and decided to order 350. But unfortunately, that’s not one of the quantities VistaPrint offers. You can buy 250, but the next higher quantity is 500. I decided to buy 250 and then 100, and though I tried my best, I couldn’t figure out how to have both in my virtual shopping cart, so I decided to place the orders separately.
I had placed the order for 250, and I was about to go back to the front page, when I noticed that VistaPrint was offering me – if I ordered them in the next ten minutes – a 10% discount on another 250 cards. I didn’t need that many but I thought that clicking on the “Order them now!” button would at least take me to a “Finalize your order” page, and then I could change the quantity to 100 without having to go through the whole process again.
Hey. Guess what clicking on the “Order them now!” button does? Why, oddly enough, it orders them now. Without you having to go through the process of finalizing anything else. You click the button, they’re ordered. Ta daaaa!
Hooray.
Now, I get a few more card requests every year, but not anything like
170 more. I explained the issue to Fred, and he said “Just save the extras and send them out next year!”
“I can’t do that. That’s tacky! I’m not sending the same damn card out two years in a row!”
“You could cross-reference the Christmas card lists, and whoever doesn’t request a card this year but does next, you could send them this year’s card next year!”
“Oh, right! That sounds like something GUARANTEED to put me into the Christmas spirit!”
I went to the VistaPrint page and started looking for a way to contact customer service. After a few minutes of looking, I was horrified to find that the only way to contact customer service was to CALL them.
I think I might have mentioned that I do not enjoy talking on the phone, especially to strangers, and ESPECIALLY especially to strangers who would surely be located in another country and who would surely speak with an accent, and I would feel like an idiot asking them to repeat themselves.
(Last time I had to talk to someone in another country on the phone, it was a woman in India who had to make changes to my Expedia itinerary before I went to Maine in August, and when I asked her to repeat herself for the third time in our five-minute conversation, bitch GAVE ME ATTITUDE. It gripes me that you have to fucking call and talk to a person to accept changes in your itinerary. How ’bout you just give me the option of clicking a “Yeah, whatever, just GIVE ME MY GODDAMN TICKETS” button, Expedia? How about that?)
I begged Fred to call them for me, and groaning and moaning and bitching (but mostly kidding), Fred called them for me.
He was on the phone for about ten minutes, and first they tried to convince him that the 500 cards was an AMAZING price, and I’m sure it is, but it’s also 150 more cards than we need, and what the fuck do you do with 150 extra cards? Once he repeated three times that he was positive he didn’t want 500 cards, they tried to tell him that they couldn’t change the order, and when he asked if he could just cancel the order and place it again, there was some bullshit like they couldn’t hear him.
Finally – surprisingly – they were able to cancel the first order, then he had to go through some automated system to place the correct order, and now we’re all set.
Or maybe we’re not. I wouldn’t be too terribly surprised to find 850 cards on the front doorstep in a few days.
* * *
“Hey you GUYS, it’s snackin’ time!”
****************************
“You come here, and I will bite your head off. OFF! RIGHT OFF YOUR BODY!”
“Okay, no, wait. You have a little shmutz right here. Let me take care of that…”
“Halp! I am being eaten alive by a fearsome, cruel monster!”
“HALP, I SAY!”
* * *
Previously
2006: When I thought of how crappy the doors would look, he gave me a long-suffering look and said in his “Look how patient and long-suffering I am” voice, “I’ll paint them.”
2005: “Fascinating.”
2004: All your frog are belong to us.
2003: No entry.
2002: I am freezing to death.
2001: I think I need to get a life…
2000: In other words, Robyn is a total spaz about her eyes, comprende?
1999: On the way into work, and the whole time I worked today, I reconsidered that reconsideration.]]>