mah baby!!!!
* * *
Wednesday morning, Fred sent me an email, suggesting that we go for a hike up on Monte Sano. I responded with a “HELL NO” and a bitch about how hot and humid it was outside. He p’shawed the idea that 85 degrees and 10,000% humidity was too hot and humid, pointed out that it was cooler in the woods, and just to SHUT HIM THE HELL UP I agreed to go.
God help me.
He called when he was leaving work, and I ran upstairs and put my Coolmax shorts and shirt on, then came downstairs to put band-aids on the backs of my feet (I have two huge, nasty, raw-looking blisters on the backs of my heels, due to new sneakers that caused me no problems the first time I wore them, then blistered me up the second time. STUPID SHOES.).
“Why are you walking funny?” Fred asked.
“What?” I said – nay, snarled – at him.
“You’re walking like Vito,” he said. Vito, for those of you not in the know, is the
fat guy from The Sopranos who lost a lot of weight, but has quite a ways to go. He walks like a duck due to, I guess, hip issues. And my dear, beloved husband was comparing me to Vito.
I get nothin’ but compliments.
“I HAVE BLISTERS ON THE BACKS OF MY FEET AND MY HEEL HURTS BECAUSE OF THE PLANTAR FASCIITIS,” I said, telling him what I’d told him a thousand times before.
“Oh, right.”
I was in a pissy mood until we were about halfway to the mountain, and then I lightened up a little, listening to Fred tell me how this wasn’t a bad hike at all, and he knew I’d have no problems at all.
He’s such a liar.
The first part of the hike wasn’t bad, except for the fucking BUGS buzzing all around me in the woods. Bugs in the woods. Who the fuck would have thought? You’d think the guy who hikes ALL THE DAMN TIME would have expected the bugs and would have possibly brought along some bug spray, but nay. No bug spray, but plenty of bugs.
Anyway, like I said, the first part of the hike wasn’t bad. It was downhill a ways, and it made me nervous due to the fact that if we were starting out going downhill, chances were pretty damn good we’d have to go uphill on the way back to the car.
And then, all of a sudden, the trail started going uphill. And uphill. And uphill some more. And I had to stop and rest a THOUSAND times on the uphill part, because apparently walking on a fairly flat surface 5 days a week (even if it IS 4.16 miles) doesn’t prepare one for an uphill climb.
Fred kept reassuring me that we didn’t have much further to go, but I decided pretty quickly that he was a great big liar, and I stopped believing him. And then finally, we got to the Stone Cuts (the Stone Cuts were formed when “the capstone got exposed and then split”, according to Fred). They were quite cool, and we spent quite some time looking around and trekking through the Stone Cuts and the covered Stone Cuts (pictures in a minute).
Not long after, it was time to head back to the car, and we got about halfway back, when Fred offered me an alternative. I could accompany him on the rest of the hike – an all-uphill climb – back to the car, or I could take the “easy” route out to Bankhead Parkway, and he could climb back to the car, then drive down to Bankhead Parkway. From where we were standing, I could see the “easy” route, and it looked like a nice, flat, wide trail. So, being the wimp that I am, I opted for the easy trail.
In a usual-for-me entry, I’d get just out of sight and sound of Fred, to find that the trail was six miles of uphill climbing. Luckily, that didn’t happen, and the trail stayed mostly wide and flat and easy the entire way out to the old Bankhead Parkway road, and I was a little ways down that when Fred came walking up to meet me, my bottle of water in his hand.
Altogether, not a bad hike. But I suspect I’m never ever going to turn into one of those people who LIKES to hike. I might tolerate it just to spend time with Fred, doing what he likes to do, but I don’t imagine a future wherein I wake up and think “Hey! I’d really like to go for a hike!”
Stranger things have happened, though, I suppose.
The trail, before it got hard.
Us, sitting at the top of the trail, next to the Stone Cuts. Note that I am drenched in sweat, and Fred’s not sweating at ALL.
Trees growing between the Stone Cuts.
Things growing out of rocks fascinates me, for some reason.
It seemed to be about ten degrees cooler in here.
This stuff is native honeysuckle. The stuff you usually think of as being honeysuckle, that grows all over the place, was actually brought over from… China? Japan? One of those.
The sun shining through the trees.
Any ideas what this flower is?
Now, THAT is what I call a trail.
This is also my kinda trail. (It’s not really a trail, it’s the old Bankhead Parkway.)
You can see all of the uploaded hiking pictures
here.
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Y’all, I am going to say this clearly and in caps so you don’t get all freaky – MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO BE HERE ALL NEXT WEEK AND I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL BE UPDATING. I MIGHT, BUT ASSUME I WON’T.
Okay? Y’all were sweet to worry, though. Mwah!
* * *
“Run and hide or snooze in the grass? Snooze in the grass or run and hide? I CANNOT DECIDE!”
Talk about your evil eye.
Talk about your look o’ love.
“Who, me? No, I’m not drinking out of the bird bath. What are you talking about, crazy lady?”
“You cannot see me… you doooo nooooot seeee meeeeeee….” (If you look closely, you’ll see water droplets on his chin.)
All of today’s uploaded pictures (including a bunch of a dancing Tommy) are
here.
* * *
Previously
2005: But by the time I was about three words in to the text message to the spud, I was using “u” and “2″ and “gd” with abandon, and it STILL took me 4-fckng-eva 2 get th gd msg typd n & snt.
2004: I started to answer her, when I realized to my horror that Fred was leaning forward, CUPPING HIS HAND TO HIS EAR to illustrate that he hadn’t heard what she said.
2003: “I breathe oxygen!”
“Me too!”
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Our first trip to G’burg.]]>