So Fred is having some personal, uh, ISSUES today, and since (as I’ve mentioned before) he thinks he lives in a musical, he wrote a little song about it.
To the tune of "King of the Road":
My butt’s all red and sore!
Neeeeeed a do-nut for shore!
It’s itching and it bleeds,
It’s got me down on my knees!
Ah, but, there’s a salve that I have found.
Ruuuub it in; the swelling’s down.
I keep the preeeeeeparation folks employed –
King of the ‘roid!
Charming, innit?
Okay, I got this survey from Heather via email, and instead of just filling it out and sending it back to her, I’m going to make it an entry, ’cause that’s just the lazy kind o’ gal I am.
NAME: Robyn
GENDER: Female
LIVING ARRANGEMENT: I live in a house with my husband Fred, 11 year-old daughter, and five cats (four boys, one girl)
YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW: Friends, first and foremost, followed by Once and Again, and ER.
WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD: At home, Kyle from South Park saying "Dude, that kicks ass!"; at work, an Anne Geddes picture.
FAVORITE SMELLS: Vanilla. Daffodils. Burning wood. Fred’s neck at night when the smell of soap and shampoo and has worn off.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Having Fred mad at me, which thank GOD rarely happens.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Laying on the bed talking to Fred, giggling about something funny the spud has done, with the kitten laying on me while I rub her tummy.
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: Xanadu. Rockin’, man.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING: I don’t waaaaaanna go to work! Work sucks! On Saturday, it’s I don’t waaaaanna get groceries! Groceries suck!
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Nope, but the spud used to.
ROLLER COASTERS – SCARY OR EXCITING: Exciting in a scary way.
PEN OR PENCIL: Pen
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER: I never ever answer the phone when Fred is home. If he’s not home, I check the caller ID and only answer it if it’s him.
FAVORITE FOOD: Lobster, shrimp, raw oysters. And Krispy Kreme donuts.
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Yes, especially since I moved 1500 miles away. I’ve noticed that the further I get from my mother, the more bearable she is.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: French vanilla.
FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR: French vanilla.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: Croutons on a salad, bacon bits on a baked potato.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE: Nope. I’d prefer not to, given the choice.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS: Whichever cats like me at the moment – usually Spanky and the kitten.
STORMS – COOL OR SCARY: Cool, except when they get scary.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?: A blue ’81 Chevette. I adored that car.
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?: JFK, if he’s sharing secrets. If not, Stephen King, so I could gaze adoringly at him and giggle "I’m your biggest fan!"
YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Strawberry dacquiri.
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET: Rollins.
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?: Yes, I love broccoli.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: I haven’t got a clue. Something that includes a lot of sitting around, web-surfing, renting best-sellers, and petting kitties.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR, WHAT COLOR WOULD IT BE?: I do dye it, and I dye it medium brown. I’d love to go blonde, but Fred would have a cow.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: Yes, and still am.
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?: Some sort of scenery picture Fred bought at a Starving Artist sale. I have a picture of a poppy field that stretches as far as the eye can see, which still needs to be framed. It’s pretty cool.
IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?: Half full. I’m an eternal optimist, believe it or not.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE?: The kind that comes in the 20-oz. Coke bottle.
FAVORITE MOVIE: Xanadu. I’ll also always stop to watch When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and Pretty Woman.
ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS?: Righty.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?: Yep.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: The kind that hires someone else to do the gardening. (I’d say "ho", that’s too obvious)
WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED?: I haven’t looked, but I’m going to bet there are pounds and pounds of cat hair dusty bunnies and probably 20 ear plugs.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?: 9
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CAR/ TRUCK?: Yellow Ford Mustang convertible. I like Camrys, too.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?: Ice skating; I prefer pairs to singles.
I’m outta here; y’all have a good night!
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