03/09/2001

silent but deadly? Well, the first several "explosions" were completely silent and completely smell-less, so I thought we were okay. We were not. Without warning and to my horror, the atmosphere in the car went from unscented to absolutely GAG-INDUCING, though I offered up a silent prayer of thanks that there were no accompanying noises. Fred was quietly watching the road, singing along to the soundtrack from "Miss Saigon", when suddenly he yelled "Dad, are you FARTING back there?"(his parents were sitting in the back). His Dad paused for a second and then defensively said "NO!" Sounded rather guilty, he did. And Fred said "It MUST have been you, ’cause you’re sitting back there acting like you can’t smell it! I know it’s not ME, and I don’t think it’s ROBYN -" to which I reponded by shaking my head back and forth and mumbling "Nopenopenope, wuddn’t ME!" And he went on and ON about how gross his Dad was, farting like that. Suddenly, his father sniffsniffsniffed wildly and opined, "It smells kinda… chemical. I think there are paper factories around here…" Fred said, skeptically, "I don’t think so, I think it’s YOU back there, FARTING!" Beside him, I kept silent. That’s right. I kept my mouth shut and let Fred’s dad take the blame for every last bit of it.
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