8/10/05 – Bitchypoo

* * * I’m going to kill my husband. KILL HIM. Ever since his mother and stepfather moved to Madison, I see them every so often at the pet store on Monday mornings after I’m done cleaning (they like to stop by and check out the cats) or at the grocery store, and occasionally at other places, too. I jokingly said to Fred, “I think your Mom and (stepfather) are stalking me!” And. He. Repeated. It. To. Her. He claims that he told her that I was joking, but YOU CANNOT MAKE JOKES LIKE THAT TO MOTHERS. BECAUSE THEY TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. So he went over there today (they smoke chickens every few months and always do an extra one for them, for they are wonderful, thoughtful people) and she told him that they’d seen me on Monday coming out of the pet store, but didn’t honk because they didn’t want me to think they were stalking me! I’m going to kill him. He is SO FUCKING DEAD. Y’all will come bail me out, right? I mean, not that ANY JUDGE ON EARTH would ever hold me over for trial or anything, but just in case.

* * * We watched a couple of episodes of Family Plots the other night – we’ve got episodes going back a couple of months, I think, because we rarely get around to watching them, although we always enjoy them when we do – and it was an episode that took place sometime after Rick and Melissa had broken up. Rick hired a “Life Affirmation Expert”, and they had a meeting and went around and each employee had to talk about the most difficult thing they’d ever dealt with. And Rick said that it was hard to deal with his son’s death, but the breakup with Melissa was the most difficult thing he’d ever dealt with. Oh, did my eyes ever roll. Because on one hand, THE DEATH OF A CHILD. On the other, the breakup with a woman I don’t like (I’ll think of a reason later). Rick. Dear. There are spoiled, bitchy women ALL OVER THIS WORLD, I’m sure you could throw a rock and hit one who’d love to USE YOUR CREDIT CARDS, and might even occasionally be NICE to you, but no one can replace your SON. Also, if you could talk to the producers and give us more Shonna and Emily and less Chuck-wandering-around-goofing-off, that’d be great. ‘k, thanks, BYE. * * * Currently reading: Don’t Eat This Book, by Morgan Spurlock. I’m about 150 pages in and it’s really good. Fred pointed out the other night while we were watching Wanted that Lee Tergesen’s character, U.S. Marshall Eddie Drake, looks an awful lot like Morgan Spurlock. I’ll let you be the judge:

Lee Tergesen.

Morgan Spurlock. Yeah, I’d say there’s some resemblance there. * * * And while I’m sharing pictures, I was informed that a few people were confused by my attraction to Gary Cole, mentioned in yesterday’s entry. For clarification:

Gary Cole. Hot, hot, hot.

Gary Coleman. Not, not, not. And as a side note, I’ve never EVER found Gary Cole hot in any other role, but in his role on Wanted, he’s HOT. Actually, now that I think about it, I find everyone on that show kind of hot, even the guy with the facial piercings whose name I can’t retain for more than ten seconds. (Oh, look at that. He’s apparently the lead singer of Saliva. HOW COULD I NOT KNOW THAT? Why, Fuck All Y’all is the song that was playing when Fred and I fell in love. We consider it “our” song!) * * * Pet store kitty pics from yesterday are here. * * * If you haven’t read Fred’s entry yet, you must go check it out and see the cutest damn turtle picture EVER taken. Also, wish him luck. * * * I don’t know what impressed me more yesterday, the fact that I was able to give the kittens their medicine (amoxicillin; slight upper respiratory infections) all by myself (I usually require Fred’s help, but decided that I need to learn to do it by myself, since he’ll be ~~incommunicado~~ incapacitated after Friday and won’t be able to use both arms to pick up squirming kittens and force their mouths open), or that Miz Poo was trying to play with Jodie. Unfortunately, Miz Poo’s idea of playing with another cat involves laying down on the floor in a submissive position, and then smacking the other cat if it gets too close. We kept the kittens out for most of the evening last night, and at one point, right before bedtime, Rambo climbed up in my lap and arranged himself so that I could rub his back with one hand and his ears with the other, and then went to sleep. He was so damn cute I had to restrain myself from squeezing him ’til his guts shot out his ears. So cute, these two. Especially when I had Rambo on my lap, and Jodie flopped over onto her back and fell asleep next to me.