reading: The Second Assistant. This book is seeming really familiar to me. Either I’ve already read it, or I skimmed the first chapter before I bought it. Since it’s not in my reading list for 2004 or 2003 and the book came out in 2004, I’m going to guess that it’s the latter.
And to see the full-sized version (which I’ll take down at the end of the month) go here.
If you’re visiting after I took down the full-sized picture, here’s what the bumper stickers say:
I’m in no hurry, I’m on my way to work.
I’m stubborn only when I don’t get my way!
Don’t tell me what kind of day to have. (Ironic, considering that I sign all my emails “Have a great day!”, isn’t it?)
Party Animal!
I owe, I owe, it’s off to work I go.
If you get any closer introduce yourself!
As a matter of fact I DO own the road!
I’m the one your mother warned you about.
Just visiting this planet.
If you don’t like the way I drive, STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK.
Don’t follow me, I’m lost too!
So many pedestrians, so little time.
Beam me up Scotty!
Here’s to all the Verns in the world!
And the banner across the back window? That’s a picture of Oliver North and “OLLIE FOR PRESIDENT.” I didn’t particularly want Oliver North to be President; I hardly knew who he WAS. I just wanted to get a reaction. I never did, though.
Lucky for y’all I spent a LONG FREAKIN’ TIME going through old pictures while I was looking for that picture of my car, and thus I have many embarrassing pictures of yours truly. In no particular order.
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I’m not in this picture, actually. Here we see John and Denise, ready for the Marine Ball. John, as you might have guessed, was a Marine. He asked Denise to go to the Ball with him, and she agreed, just because she wanted to go. He had SUCH a crush on her and she was SO mean to him because she was not interested at all. Now, look at that adorable face. How could she possibly resist it? He was one of the sweetest guys I knew. If I hadn’t been pregnant and married, I would have had SUCH a crush on him. Oh, hell – I DID.
So cute! I think that Patrick resembles John a bit.
Throughout my life, I have never quite perfected the lovely picture-taking smile that other people have. I seem to have two picture-taking smiles: the first, as seen above, is more of a grimace, and I am clearly thinking “Take the goddamn picture, before I grab that camera and shove it down your throat, bitch.” (December of 87)
The second kind of smile is illustrated above: “If I bare all my teeth, it will pass as a natural smile.” This is from Halloween of 86. That’s not my real hair – I was wearing a black and white wig to which I’d added red paint. Someone pointed out at the party that I looked like I had a bleeding skunk on my head.
The sultry look. Same party.
Halloween of 87. I put on a pink and white striped nightgown, a lot of makeup, and glitter in my hair. I’m not sure what I thought I was going as. My god, I had big hair. Why didn’t anyone stop me from perming?
I’m 15 (I think) here. June of ’83, and my brother Randy was graduating from high school. I ask you – what the holy hell was up with my hair? My bangs are hanging down, yet brushed sideways. I look like I have a combover!
I was 16 in this picture. My friend Tammie and I were on our way to the Rick Springfield/ Corey Hart (shaddup) concert and she took my picture in the girl’s bathroom at school. Such a dork. Look! I had the big ’80s glasses! I went through a phase where I wore rolled-up bandannas around my neck; somehow I felt as though it hid my HUGE GUT. I would like to travel back in time and slap the shit out of me for feeling so hugely, grossly fat.
My Dad and I. This had to be in 86. He looks so YOUNG and my hair is so BIG. He would have been… around 44, I think. So young!
(Note the “Take the goddamn picture!” smile) Me, in my SASSY McDonald’s uniform. At McDonald’s, even. Note that the front of my uniform was gapping like a motherfucker. This would have been sometime in ’85.
Liz and I on the crappy couch of my extremely crappy first apartment in Brunswick. 220 Main Street, if you live in the area. Make sure, if you’re driving by in the middle of the night, you honk really loudly so that my asshole of an ex-landlady is awakened. In fact, if you do it every night at 3 am, I’ll give you a dollar. (Not really) Note the huge hair. STILL. This was in May of 87.
I’m sure I’ve shared this picture before – it’s one of my favorite pictures of myself from back then. This was Christmas night of ’84, and I was hanging out with my friends. It’s one of the few naturally-smiling pictures of me that exists in the entire world.
Not the best picture, but the LOOK Mister Boogers is giving Miz Poo absolutely cracks me up.]]>