latest entry for a description of how we’re keeping the Boog in the back yard these days. Also, a very funny movie that I can’t stop watching – and it always makes me laugh until I wheeze!
I suspect that Mister Boogers will do his best to figure out how to get around it at some point in the future, but right now he’s a little scared to go outside at all. We put the collar on and open the cat door every morning and leave it open all day long, and Mister Boogers will stick his head out there and chatter at the birds, and with some coaxing he’ll go outside and check things out, but he doesn’t quite dare to stay out for long. Hopefully he’ll eventually figure out that he only gets zapped when he goes near the fence, and that the rest of the yard is fair game.
But even if he’s too scared to go outside, I’d rather have him inside and alive than outside hopping the fence and going god knows where!
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I bought a bottle of Aveeno lotion and a bottle of Aveeno Very Gentle Shower Scrub (or something like that), because my skin is so freakin’ sensitive that if I so much as think about using any kind of lotion I immediately break out into hives.
Seriously, I’ve tried Curel, I’ve tried Eucerin, I’ve tried every kind of unscented safe-for-eczema-ridden-people lotion in existence, and they always make me break out. I was using hydrocortisone – Cortaid – as a lotion for a little while, and then Fred bought some lotion with hydrocortisone in it for Spot – who’s been grooming his belly and legs to the point where they were hairless – and he bought an extra bottle for me, and I gave it a try and it seems to work just fine.
Yes, I use the same kind of lotion as my CAT. What, you didn’t already know I was a freak?
But anyway, I bought this Aveeno lotion because it was extra-strength lotion for the hands and claimed to last twenty-four hours through many handwashings and all that, and since my hands are on the verge of becoming crepey old-lady hands, I bought a bottle. I gave it a try and it’s pretty good, though to be honest I think the Bath and Body Works Hand Repair lotion is better and lasts longer, but you have to put up with the scent, and the Hand Repair lotion doesn’t come in my favorite scents.
So, anyway. The Aveeno. I put it on and rubbed it into my hands, and then I sniffed it. Because unscented lotion isn’t really unscented, you know? Everything’s got a scent, even the unscented stuff. Curel and Eucerin are unscented and for sensitive skin, but they each have their own distinctive scent, because – like I said – everything’s got a scent!
Not this Aveeno lotion, though. It had no scent at all. I put my nose right down to the lotion and sniffed as hard as I could, and there was no scent at all.
It’s kind of freaky, really.
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So Friday I got around to watching a Dr. Phil show that I’d taped earlier in the week. It was a follow-up to the series he’s calling The Doctor, The Wife, and The Mistress. If you haven’t caught it before now, here’s a quick description of what it’s about: Kandi and Ed have been married for 12 years, they have three kids, and he started having an affair with a nurse he works with; he told his wife (Kandi) that he’d been having the affair, and guess what? The mistress is pregnant.
The husband in this case – Ed – is such a slimy asshole that every time I see his smug fucking face I want to punch him. UGH.
Anyway, Kandi was on the show last week, but Ed wasn’t because he didn’t like what Dr. Phil was telling him. Also, he’s a slimy asshole. Have I mentioned? Kandi updated Dr. Phil that she finally kicked Ed out of the house and he kept calling and coming over and telling her that he’d broken up with the mistress and she could have him followed, because he was telling the truth.
And she had him followed – to the mistress’s house!
Let’s amend that description to STUPID slimy asshole, shall we?
Anyway, all this is to say that until she was on Dr. Phil the other day she had no idea what the mistress looked like, and then Dr. Phil provided her with a picture (though we didn’t get to see it, and may I just say? NO FAIR!), and Kandi looked at it, and she laughed, and she talked about how ugly the mistress is, and Dr. Phil agreed, and they laughed some more, and Kandi said (paraphrased) “It’s obviously not about the looks with Ed! It’s got to be about the sex!” and she and Dr. Phil giggled some more.
So what I’m thinking is that what Dr. Phil and Kandi are trying to do is goad the mistress into appearing on the show. Does anyone else get that impression, too?
Also, Kandi? You don’t need to be talking about the mistress being so ugly, when your slimy asshole husband has been hit with a great big ugly stick. You, however, are adorable. But stop being a doormat.
Ooh! Today’s show is about “Invasive In-Laws”! I love stories about horrible in-laws, probably because I’ve always been lucky enough to have pretty good in-laws.
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“This is how I feel about that friggindamn collar they keep putting on me. One day I’m going to shove it down The Momma’s throat, and then we’ll just see HOW HARD SHE LAUGHS, won’t we?”
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