Janie-Jane!
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Well, Jennifer Aniston did a pretty straightforward and open
interview with Vanity Fair. In it, regarding the Jolie-cavorting Brad’s been taking part in, she says “There’s a sensitivity chip missing.” If THAT ain’t the truth. Christ, it’s only been a few months since they broke up; can’t he keep it in his pants out of respect for her, for the love of god?
I suspect people as beautiful as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have to be a little bit nuts, anyway. When the whole world bends over to lick your feet, that’s got to be crazy-making. You expect that whatever you do is A-OK with everyone else and don’t have to consider the consequences.
Or so I’d imagine.
And if I can just weigh in on the Jude Law/ Sienna Miller thing: I hope she leaves him in the dust. I mean, I don’t really know a single thing about her, but I do know this: if the man is fucking around with the NANNY (god, such a cliche) before you’re even married, he’s going to keep screwing around even after you’re married. Isn’t the rumor that screwing around is what broke up his first marriage?
I don’t get the Jude Law love, honestly. He’s a good-looking man, but something about him gives me the ookies.
This has been your Bitchypoo Hollywood report. Personally, I get my entertainment news from
Perez Hilton and
The Superficial, not to mention various and sundry sources I stumble across during my daily surfing marathon.
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Oh lord, speaking of surfing, a few weeks ago
Mo mentioned
Yvonne’s site, and I’ve been reading her ever since. So yesterday I went back to an entry from about a year ago when Yvonne was waiting to go into labor with her daughter (who’s now a year old and GOD SHE IS CUTE), and I read forward from there about six months, and then went back to the current entry and read back to the beginning of July, and I ran across
this entry where she puts quotes around a phrase and then links to a picture of herself doing the air quotes, and I laughed so hard I thought I was going to shoot a lung across the room.
So Yvonne, if you check your stats and see that someone hit a thousand pages on your site, an IP that resolves to Alabama, I admit it!
(But I swear I wasn’t cutting and pasting. Well, except for the url to the air quotes entry, because I had to share the love.)
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God. I ended up staying up until, like, close to 1:00 last night, because I came downstairs to check my email (EVEN THOUGH I have the laptop upstairs) and I got caught up in looking at my stats and then surfing to bizarre locations, and then realizing I hadn’t been to Dana’s site in a long time and catching up there, and I don’t know where the fuck else I went, but I came out of my daze and realized I’d been hunched in front of the computer for almost three hours and I had to pee and my back hurt and I could barely keep my eyes open.
The internet? It’s a drug. It’s a drug, Matt. It’s a street drug. You don’t know the history of the internet the way I do, Matt. You don’t, Matt. You really don’t. I do. You don’t. They sell the internet on the street. To CHILDREN. The internet is a street drugs, and the children are addicted, Matt. Look at me, Matt. Look at my crazy eyes. Be hypnotized by my crazy twirling eyes. You don’t need a computer, Matt. Computers are highly overrated. They’re hocus-pocus. They are, Matt. People don’t need computers. They don’t, Matt. Matt, they don’t. All they need is a rotary phone and a pad of paper. What can you do with a computer that you need to do, that you can’t do with a rotary phone and a pad of paper? NOTHING, Matt. Anything you can do with a computer that you can’t do with a rotary phone and a pad of paper, you don’t NEED to do. A rotary phone and a pad of paper and a bottle of vitamins and you’re set for life. Don’t be glib, Matt. Glib is unattractive. Computers are the devil and I’ve given up all computers and the internet and I’ve never been healthier. And in love! Whoo!
* * *
I did some looking around online over the weekend, and found that we could cut our cell phone bill almost in half by switching from an 850-minute/ nights and weekends free plan to a 400-minute/ weekends free plan. I don’t even care about whether nights and weekends are free, because if it’s at night or on the weekend, chances are good that we’re at home and can use the home phone.
What sucks is that the cheapest family plan at Verizon (where we intend to switch when our T-Mobile plan is up in December) starts at $69.99 for two phones. I don’t know, that just seems like craziness to me, to pay that much for phones that we don’t really use all that much. We’ve already decided that Fred’s going to give up his cellphone in December (when the contract’s up) because the only time he really needs it is when he goes hiking, and he can take my phone for that. We actually considered giving up our cellphones altogether, but I’m not comfortable with the idea of the spud driving around without a cellphone, and my cellphone comes in pretty handy sometimes.
Ugh. Fucking cell phones. Is it really so ridiculous that we don’t want to pay $70 a month for phones we rarely use?
I’m open to suggestions, y’all. I know we’ve got a few months left before we can even do anything about switching our cell service, but even though Verizon was the company rated highest by Consumer Reports, I’m not sure I want to pay $70 a month for the privilege.
* * *
In our back yard, we have platform bird feeders. Occasionally, we get a squirrel visitor, who plops his big butt in one of the feeders and partakes of the scrumptious seeds we’ve provided for him.
He spotted me looking at him, and headed for the tree.
Nice of me to put the bird feeders so close to the tree, wasn’t it? It was unintentional, believe me.
Annnnd… he’s outta there!
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Spanky in the sun.]]>
You really think Angelina Jolie is beautiful? I can imagine taking a quilters’ pin to those lips and breasts and watching them deflate like an old birthday balloon. Aniston is MUCH hotter (and more moral, apparently).
Have you considered doing the prepaid wireless through Verizon? I heart Verizon!
My husband never, ever uses his phone but I make him carry one because he works crazy hours. We had a Cingular family plan and it sucked up the $. When our contract expired in June, I got him a Tracfone and we kept one phone on the cheapest Cingular plan.
If you go to places like fatwallet.com you can get tons of deals on the Tracfone. I ended up getting my husband a phone with 700 minutes good until September 2006 for $54.00. That includes the phone! Can’t beat that at all.
If you’d like me to scour the boards for some Tracfone deals for you, I’d be happy to.
http://www.virginmobileusa.com/
Been using them for over 2 years now and LOVE it. No more monthly cell phone bills!!!
THERE’S my spanky! He’s totally my “favourite.”
My husband uses his phone only rarely, so we got a prepaid plan for him (we’ve had both at&t/cingular and t-mobile) and refill it whenever the minutes are ready to expire (then they roll over if you buy before expiration). We spend $10 a month before taxes on his phone.
I think all cell phone companies are sort of shitty by sheer nature, but Verizon is HORRIBLE. Check out this experience I had with them:
http://www.selfpassage.com/14%20sept%202004.htm
I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry in my whole life. Granted, most of my fury was dealing with their internet service, but they were shitty with me with my cell service also, just not quite as shitty. If they were the only ISP or cell phone provider in the whole wide world, I think I’d go phoneless & internetless.
I use Cingular for my cell phone now and they’ve annoyed me a little bit (my cell phone died and I had to upgrade and subsequently had to upgrade my plan because the old plan with the old phone is no good anymore. Grrr.) but by & large they are okay.
I have a friend who has Verizon for cell phone service and she’s never had any problems with them, but me, I HATE them.
Just my two cents n’ all.
I used AT&T, who (which?) is (are?) now Cingular, and I have no complaints. Your “internet is a drug, Matt” is complete comic genius. I read it really fast and clippy and twirled my eyes while doing so.
Yep, prepaid is the way to go if you use less than 100 minutes or so. I only use mine for things like conferring on movie choices or checking “do we need cumin?” or to call a taxi. My $10 a month card often has half left when I reup because it’s about to expire. In Canada, with any plan, there’s a $6.95 “system access fee” before you even start paying for minutes or your plan. Bullshit.
UGh I hate cell phone companys! Be careful if you switch your rate plan. They started our contact OVER AGAIN! I found out when our contact with AT&T was up and I called to cancell service. When I reduced our rate plan it started a new contact and I was stuck for another year. Maybe Verizon is different though. I finally got to switch to T-Mobile and I “heart” them!
I just noticed that QVC’s special of the day is a T-Mobile prepaid phone plan for less than $70. Not exactly sure what it covers, but it might something worth looking into.
The best and cheapest service I ever used in the states was T-Mobile. I had 1000 anytime minutes and buddy-to-buddy mobile. Paid less than $60 a month. And I used to think that was expensive. Holy SHIT. Try getting mobile service in the UK. You get something like 50 anytime minutes and 25 texts for £15 a month (appx $30 US). Yowza!
Totally off subject – whatever happened with Mis Poo’s latest lip drama? I thought Fred took her to the vet around the Mia incident, and I don’t remember if you told us how that all worked out for the Poo.
I’ll second Virgin Mobile pay-as-you-go plan. I think it’s the best deal out there for people who want a cell phone just for emergencies. I used to have the cheapest plan with Cingular, but VM is still cheaper even after paying for the cell phone. You can get them online, but I think they also carry them at Target now.
Oh my God! I made someone laugh! I’m so excited!
p.s. You can steal my quote picture anytime you want. I totally love it so much and want to share it with the world.
Oh my gosh, that’s a cute cat you’ve got there.
I use Verizon pre-pay, which is $15/month (per phone). I forget the max number of minutes, but I don’t use it very often and have never come close to running out. No contract.
You have to stop writing stuff like “the internet is a drug, Matt”, I was at work when reading it and laughed out loud, really loud……everyone looked at me & since I am not suppossed to be doing anything but work on my computer…..oh well, it’s a drug and I’m addicted. Hopefully my boss won’t just be glib about it!!! I need to get some vitamins & some paper & a phone………
I’m another Tracfone fan–if you give them your internet address, they don’t sell it, but they make you offers that are hard to refuse for cheap or free minutes. I really love it!
That is a beautiful picture of Spanky. 🙂
Dear, dear Lady, you are a beautiful source of daily lung spewing, too! 🙂
Well, some days are just chuckle & snort, but days like today are definite laugh-out-loud and make the co-workers (or cats, depending on the location of the day)think you are loony!
Thanks, Robyn, for being a constant, sunny yellow source of cheer in an otherwise drab world!
Reader Retha
We used to have a plan through AT&T years ago but it ate up the money and I didn’t use my phone that much. A couple of years ago we got Tracfones and they work great for us. You pay as you go and since neither of us use our phones a ton anyway, it works fine.
Ha! I laughed, too, when I checked out the blog entry with the clever use of the air quotes photo. Liked that a lot.
Ooooooo, you caught that squirrel being a bad squirrel. Tsk.
Spanky is so lovely.
Gee thanks Robyn, a new link to a hilarious journal. Guess I better break out the No-Doze, Coffee and Chocolate, it’s gonna be a long night.
That tirade about the internet is just too funny.
If you like Superficial, you’ll dig:
http://www.trent.blogspot.com/
Pink is the New Blog. Awesome stuff. I love celebrity dirt.
Robin, I’m still stunned by how much your Spanky looks like my Kneazle. We must have demon twins.
Your Cellphone Delima..
I’m with Mz. Bonnie, Virgin Moble, baby!!
http://www.virginmobileusa.com/
I know, pre-paid, blah.. but hear me out…
You only have to ‘Top-up’ every 90 days and only minimum of $20.00 at a time. You get all the features as a regular cell, text, ringtones… but without all the contract bullshit and minutes you don’t use crap. AND they even have a camera phone!!
Re: the sensitivity chip missing. Is there a recognized period of mourning after a break up? I’ve never been divorced, but hey! Jennifer didn’t die, they both just moved on. I’m not a Brad Pitt fan, and I’m sure it hurts, but sheesh!
byakko: I’m not sure that there’s a recognized period of mourning, but I would think that Brad Pitt might recognize that his wife (at least she’s his for the moment, since the divorce hasn’t gone through yet) might be hurt by the fact that he’s spending all his time cavorting with Angelina Jolie and having a good ol’ time. But then again, perhaps he doesn’t much give a shit whether Jennifer’s hurting or not, since he’s missing that sensitivity chip.
Ha…I can SO identify with that paragraph about surfing the Internet….
If the “special” is still on for the Family & Friends Share Plan, you can get three additional lines for $10 each (5 altogether). I have a 5 line share with my parents, sister and brother-in-law. I saved my sister and brother-in-law $40/month and I ended up paying $20 less out of pocket.