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Attention: I got caught up on all my email last night. If you sent me an email and expected a response, send it again; either it didn’t make it to me, or I inadvertently overlooked it.
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You know what saying I don’t understand? “Go pound sand.” I understand that it’s similar to saying “Go fuck yourself”, but what does it MEAN? Why am I pounding sand? What am I pounding sand with? A hammer? A sledgehammer? Something bigger?? Is it that pounding sand is a useless activity, like running around in circles? Or does pounding sand cause pain?
Anyone?
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And while you’re at it, someone explain Gavin DeGraw’s song
Chariot to me, would you?
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Currently
reading:
We’re All in This Together, by Owen King. I’m about 100 pages in, and enjoying it. He definitely has his own voice, and I read an interview with him where he said that although he’s going into the “family business”, there are no horror or supernatural aspects to his writing. Which I like – truthfully, I love Stephen King more when there are no supernatural aspects to his writing.
Read while in Maine and last week:
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress, by Susan Jane Gilman
Double Whammy, by Carl Hiaasen (it was published 16 years ago, but it holds up well. Gotta love that Skink.)
Hard Laughter, by Anne Lamott (I know a lot of people love and adore Anne Lamott and I’ll probably be strung from the nearest tree for such heresy, but I can take her or leave her, for the most part. I kept wanting to yell “Knock it off with the babbling and tell the fucking story!” when I was reading this book.)
A Little Change of Face, by Lauren Baratz-Logsted
Hush, by Anne Frasier
Before the Cradle Falls, by James F. David (hated the ending)
Tart, by Jody Gehrman (I enjoyed it while I was reading it, but it was apparently not very memorable, because I can’t for the life of me remember a single damn thing about it)
24 Hours, by Greg Iles (the first Greg Iles book I’ve read – and it makes me want to read more by him. Very compelling reading.)
Cold Feet, by various authors, including
Pamie. (I really liked this one – I read it in it’s entirety on the plane to Maine (but there was no rain) and it really made the time fly by.)
The World According to Mimi Smartypants, by Mimi Smartypants
I got a ton of reading done while I was in Maine. Which is odd, because I actually felt like I wasn’t reading as much as I usually do, since I had the laptop with me, and in my spare time wrote entries.
Here’s something interesting I read, from page 156 of Hush, by Anne Frasier:
Here’s a little-known fact: People who are getting close to snapping sometimes start wearing the color yellow. The brighter the color, the closer they are to snapping.
Okay. GOOD TO KNOW. Do I even need to tell you what color I was wearing when I read that?
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So, I got a ton of suggestions from y’all for what to use in closing my emails. My favorites:
From
Lisa: kthxBYE. I like this, because it’s kind of spazzy, like me. And if you’ve ever chatted with me, you’ll know (or maybe you didn’t notice, but I did) that upon saying goodbye, I don’t just say “Goodbye” and then leave. I say “I’ve gotta go.” Then I say “Talk to you later!” or “See you later!”. Then I say “Bye.” If I don’t get that last “Bye” in there, the parting process feels incomplete to me. BECAUSE I AM A DORK.
From Lynne:
I have a sign off for you. Feote (I shall pronounce it fee oh tay). It means Fucking End Of The Email. I like this because I could conceivably snow people that “Feote” is a Celtic (or Russian, or Japanese) word meaning something long and poetic.
And from Linda:
I spent quite a few years in the Navy (the Australian kind not the US!) and I spent two of those years on a ship. Whenever a “pipe” (announcement over the ships broadcast) of importance was made, the speaker (usually the Commanding Officer) would conclude with the phrase “That is all”. I think it would be a fitting and particulary dismissive tone for you to use. It is very final, don’t you think? I like that one because it is, in fact, very final and dismissive sounding.
So, dilemma. I can’t decide which to use! I think I’ll try
feote for a while and see how that feels. And if I’m feeling particularly spazzy, I’ll use
kthxBYE, and if I’m feeling particularly dismissive I’ll use
That is all.
So, there. Dilemma solved. Thanks, y’all, for all your suggestions!
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The final amount raised for the no-kill shelter is
$2,194.71. Considering that my original goal was to raise $500, and then I raised it to $1,000, I think that’s an amazing total. I went ahead and took the donation page down, because the donations have pretty much stopped, though of course if anyone still wants to make a donation, email me and I’ll tell you how to donate directly to the shelter.
Of course, if I receive any more checks in the mail I’ll pass them along and add them to the total.
Thank you to everyone who donated for helping to raise so much money. It is more appreciated than I could ever tell you. I’m going to go drop the second batch of donations off this week. I was originally just going to put them in the mail, but I do like going to the shelter and being able to pick up random kittens who are wandering around and get some kitten snuggles.
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When I was in Maine, Debbie and the spud and I went to the K-Mart in Auburn one night to look around. My feet started to hurt pretty quickly – new sandals – and Debbie and the spud were still busily looking around, so I bought the then-current version of People, and went out to sit in the car and read while I waited.
When I came across this picture of Laura Bush, I became very amused, because that smile on her face – that’s a funny-looking smile, right there.
It took a few minutes, but I realized that the look on her face in that picture reminded me very much of a picture I’d taken of Oy, and the expression on his face.
Yes, I just compared the First Lady’s expression to a cat’s expression. You can’t deny the similarity!
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Before I went on vacation, someone posted a comment asking how come I still take the birth control pill even though Fred’s been
snipped.
The answer is that because I like to be able to regulate my period. Which is perhaps not working quite so well, since in the last two quarters, my period started a good three weeks early just for the hell of it, but since I think I’m going to go back to having a period every month, or perhaps every two months, I shouldn’t have a problem with it.
The last time I went without the birth control pill for any length of time – back in ’99 or 2000, I think it was – my period was both so incredibly erratic and amazingly LONG that it was a huge pain in the ass to deal with and I went back on the pill pretty quickly.
On our insurance plan, we pay for our prescriptions up front and then submit a form to the insurance company for reimbursement of 80 percent of the cost of the prescription. I haven’t submitted the form to be reimbursed for the last batch of Seasonale I picked up, but I half expect that when I do, the insurance company will refuse to pay for it, since they’ve already paid for a permanent form of birth control. Which, by the way, cost us less than a year’s worth of birth control.
Hmmm. I wonder if there’d be a lawsuit, if they refused to cover my birth control pills since they were happy to pay for most of the vasectomy. I could claim they were trying to stifle my sexual freedom, because what if I wanted to have an affair? (Let me just say: As IF.) Yeah, I bet that’d go over like a lead balloon, here in the Bible Belt.
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The spud and I went to the pet store today to scoop ‘n feed, and I checked the list of adopted kittens, and was VERY pleased to see that Snoopy and Edgar were adopted together. Edgar, I may have mentioned 63,084 times, is the kitten I was most worried about. I’m glad he’s going to have his brother around to
kick his ass and generally make his life miserable play with.
::sigh:: I MISS MY BABIES!
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On Saturday, I went out back and cleaned out the birdbath. Fred was supposed to do that while I was gone, but apparently forgot to do so, because there was MOSS growing in there and it smelled horrific. I got it bleached out (usually I just scrub it with a scrubby sponge, but that wasn’t going to work this time around) and refilled, and came inside to do something (sit in front of the computer, I’m sure), and when I glanced out the window, Mister Boogers was rolling around in the puddle of water on the lawn.
He’s such an odd cat – I thought cats hated to get wet, but he loves to go out and run around in the rain, and roll around in the wet grass.
Luckily his Zapping Collar o’ Doom is water resistant.
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I always thought “pound sand” meant “go stomp off in a huff,” so…feet!
From my bitch, Google:
“The origin of the expression go pound sand is from a longer expression, not to know (have enough sense to) pound sand down a rathole. Filling rat holes with sand is menial work, and telling someone to pound sand down a hole is like telling them to go fly a kite. The expression dates to at least 1912 and is common in the midwestern United States.”
I bet Mister Boogers was attracted to the bleach. My sister’s cat, Boots, loves the smell of bleach and insists on being nearby when my sister uses Tilex in the shower. Weird!
Thanks for providing us with the origin of “go pound sand”, Fred!
That crazy Mr. Boogers…
And other definitiongs (from http://www.urbandictionary.com ):
A crude invitation to do something unnatural with sand and the male reproductive organ.
A term used when annoyed with a person. (eg: Why dont you go pound sand up your ass, Chad! )
To stick it where the sun don’t shine. (eg: Why don’t you just go Pound Sand!!!)
I always thought the rest of the expression “go pound sand” was “up your ass” as in “Go pound sand up your ass,” not that that makes any sense. Good question, Robyn…good answer, Fred!
Laurie 🙂
I agree- my cat Chloe, LOVES the smell of bleach. When I scrub the bathroom (Soft Scrub with bleach!*end advertisement*) if she sniffs my hands afterwards, she goes insane. You know, the whole rub, can’t get enough of you, then suddenly goes bonkers and bites you.
It’s good to know that my cat is not so weird. Dee Dee loves the clorox cleaner we use on the counters. My grandson went to the pool the other day and he left his noodle on the floor and Dee Dee spent many minutes sniffing it. We decided that it was the chorine smell.
Feote. Hahahaha so much like Robyn. I love this one.
Another good book by Greg Iles is “Sleep No More”, which is the first book of his that I read. I really liked “24 hours” too, but unfortunately I’d already seen the movie (can’t remember the name since they altered it, but it had Charlize Theron and Kevin Bacon).
Could you tell if any of the other kittens got adopted together??
Hi Robyn! If your OB/GYN prescribes the BC for the regulation of your periods, it will be covered by insurance. But! she has to diagnose you with irregular periods first. No biggie, just tell her on your next visit.
Oh yeah, forgot to say that my cats are weird abt water, too. When I get out of the shower in the morning they both look at me as if to say, “Oh my god! How did she ever survive?!” Then they jump in the wet bathtub and start licking the floor and the faucet! even though they have a huge bowl of water in the kitchen. Weirdos.
I like Linda’s,”That is all.” signoff. It reminds me of those old Navy movies such as “Mr.Roberts and “Ensign Pulver.” I can still hear those voice-overs in my head-said with a droning,bored voice.
Hey! My cat Saudi looooves the smell of bleach, too. When the whites come out of the dryer, she is ALL ABOUT the sniffing and snuggling in the laundry pile. Only the whites, though. And the last time I cleaned the bathroom with bleachy stuff, she rolled around on the carpet in the hallway like she was high on catnip! Glad to hear she’s not the only strange one.
yeah Rebekah, my kitty is the same cept she waits for me to drip water on her then licks me when I get out. Also the whole spraying with a water bottle (as if to say “stop it”) doesn’t work, she kinda looks at me for a min. then licks at the water. Cats are indeed strange. heh.
Shelly: I don’t think they were; the adoption counselors usually put a note on the adopted list if cats were adopted together, and there was nothing by the other three names. Of course, if I’d had my way, all five of them would have been adopted together. BY ME! 🙂
Rebekah: Miz Poo and Mister Boogers think that shower water is absolutely the BEST THING IN THE WORLD. Despite the fact that there’s a bowl of water not three feet away.
Regarding the insurance company, I don’t think they can deny your claim because of your husband’s form of birth control. You are a separate person in need of your own birth control, so that’s that. Also, if they did try to deny it, you can always appeal. Some companies routinely deny certain things the first time around in the hopes that people will just accept it (they won’t admit that, but it’s true). What used to piss me off is that I didn’t use the pill for birth control, I used it because I needed my hormones regulated, and my insurance company didn’t cover any birth control methods at the time so they denied it. They didn’t care that my doctor even said I didn’t need it for birth control and it was being prescribed for another purpose. Bastards. I have an IUD now and it regulates my periods much better than the pill ever did. 🙂
So I went to the read the Chariot lyrics…I have not heard the music… but it has to be good, because the WORDS HAVE NO MEANING….
This is all.
“My grandson went to the pool the other day and he left his noodle on the floor……..” Did anyone else crack up when they read that?? Sowwy Sharon, for some UNKNOWN reason that just killed me:)
Whoowee,I got my daily laugh from the comparison pictures of Laura and Oy! Really, you nailed it! LOL
Get your gynecologist to justify the BC pills as a means of controlling your period. I take hormones for the same thing, though, they are not birth control pills, essentially, progesterone. Otherwise, I get my period every 3 weeks.
Joy.
I don’t know anyone who’s been able to explain “Chariot”. The best I can figure is that it’s supposed to be a love song … It just doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.
We had a guest speaker at church this past Sunday who told a story (he says it’s true) of a man from his home state (Kentucky) who’d gone to the ER because of a car accident. The ER docs noticed burns around his neck and asked what’d happened, and he told them that he’d put on his dog’s shock collar, which was controlled by a remote. He and his wife had wanted to see how far away he could get before the remote stopped working, so he told his wife that he was going to drive around the neighborhood, and that she should hit the button every time she heard him honk. So off he drove, and he’d honk, and she’d shock him, and he’d drive a little further, and honk, and she’d shock him again. After the third or fourth time, he lost consciousness and ran into a telephone pole. He landed on the steering wheel, so the horn kept blasting, and his wife kept hitting the remote. After a while, when he didn’t return home, she got worried and went looking for him, and found the wreck.
No word on whether he suffered any long-term medical issues because of the collar.
Like I said, this pastor said it’s a true story, but I dunno … Sounds pretty far-fetched to me! But listened to it made me laugh, and it made me think of Mister Boogers.
Pound sand.. I have no idea. And now, 22 years after a fellow high schooler proclaimed in our grad year yearbook write up that she most hated “Having sand pounded up my ass” I am even more confused. Was she having sex up the bum on the beach? I just don’t know.
Glad two of the kitties got adopted together, too sweet.
We use “go pound sand” all the time ’round here (Southern CA). My FIL says “go pound salt”…wtf? Yeah, he’s a freak.
Laura and Oy…cute. I think Laura Bush is the most attractive First Lady we’ve had since Jackie Kennedy.
Sometimes I’ll even end my entries with “kthxBYE!”
My other fav is “Thank you, please drive through!”
But the feote had me laughing.
As did the picture comparison of Oy and Laura Bush. The resemblence is striking! LOL!
I have a bleach crazy cat too. Jazz, my big guy, is crazy for the bleach smell and rolls around near places where I’ve cleaned with it and PUUUUUUUURRRSS!!
Keep takin’ those pills anyway, Robyn! My sister in law got pregant 7 years after my brother had his vasectomy! (Yes, it was his!) Nothing is 100%! Also? I LOVED the comparison photos of Laura Bush and your kitty…although Oy looks slightly less medicated!
Meeher Booogers, he beesy rolling in bleach.