* * *
I’m going to kill my husband. KILL HIM. Ever since his mother and stepfather moved to Madison, I see them every so often at the pet store on Monday mornings after I’m done cleaning (they like to stop by and check out the cats) or at the grocery store, and occasionally at other places, too. I jokingly said to Fred, “I think your Mom and (stepfather) are stalking me!”
And. He. Repeated. It. To. Her.
He claims that he told her that I was joking, but YOU CANNOT MAKE JOKES LIKE THAT TO MOTHERS. BECAUSE THEY TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.
So he went over there today (they smoke chickens every few months and always do an extra one for them, for they are wonderful, thoughtful people) and she told him that they’d seen me on Monday coming out of the pet store, but didn’t honk because they didn’t want me to think they were stalking me!
I’m going to kill him. He is SO FUCKING DEAD.
Y’all will come bail me out, right? I mean, not that ANY JUDGE ON EARTH would ever hold me over for trial or anything, but just in case.
* * *
We watched a couple of episodes of
Family Plots the other night – we’ve got episodes going back a couple of months, I think, because we rarely get around to watching them, although we always enjoy them when we do – and it was an episode that took place sometime after Rick and Melissa had broken up. Rick hired a “Life Affirmation Expert”, and they had a meeting and went around and each employee had to talk about the most difficult thing they’d ever dealt with.
And Rick said that it was hard to deal with his son’s death, but the breakup with Melissa was the most difficult thing he’d ever dealt with.
Oh, did my eyes ever roll. Because on one hand, THE DEATH OF A CHILD. On the other, the breakup with a woman I don’t like (
I’ll think of a reason later).
Rick. Dear. There are spoiled, bitchy women ALL OVER THIS WORLD, I’m sure you could throw a rock and hit one who’d love to USE YOUR CREDIT CARDS, and might even occasionally be NICE to you, but no one can replace your SON.
Also, if you could talk to the producers and give us more Shonna and Emily and less Chuck-wandering-around-goofing-off, that’d be great. ‘k, thanks, BYE.
* * *
Currently
reading:
Don’t Eat This Book, by Morgan Spurlock. I’m about 150 pages in and it’s really good.
Fred pointed out the other night while we were watching
Wanted that Lee Tergesen’s character, U.S. Marshall Eddie Drake, looks an awful lot like Morgan Spurlock.
I’ll let you be the judge:
Lee Tergesen.
Morgan Spurlock.
Yeah, I’d say there’s some resemblance there.
* * *
And while I’m sharing pictures, I was informed that a few people were confused by my attraction to Gary Cole, mentioned in yesterday’s entry. For clarification:
Gary Cole. Hot, hot, hot.
Gary Coleman. Not, not, not.
And as a side note, I’ve never EVER found Gary Cole hot in any other role, but in his role on Wanted, he’s HOT.
Actually, now that I think about it, I find everyone on that show kind of hot, even the guy with the facial piercings whose name I can’t retain for more than ten seconds. (Oh, look at that. He’s apparently the lead singer of
Saliva. HOW COULD I NOT KNOW THAT? Why,
Fuck All Y’all is the song that was playing when Fred and I fell in love. We consider it “our” song!)
* * *
Pet store kitty pics from yesterday are
here.
* * *
If you haven’t read
Fred’s entry yet, you must go check it out and see the cutest damn turtle picture EVER taken. Also, wish him luck.
* * *
I don’t know what impressed me more yesterday, the fact that I was able to give the kittens their medicine (amoxicillin; slight upper respiratory infections) all by myself (I usually require Fred’s help, but decided that I need to learn to do it by myself, since he’ll be
incommunicado incapacitated after Friday and won’t be able to use both arms to pick up squirming kittens and force their mouths open), or that Miz Poo was trying to play with Jodie. Unfortunately, Miz Poo’s idea of playing with another cat involves laying down on the floor in a submissive position, and then smacking the other cat if it gets too close.
We kept the kittens out for most of the evening last night, and at one point, right before bedtime, Rambo climbed up in my lap and arranged himself so that I could rub his back with one hand and his ears with the other, and then went to sleep. He was so damn cute I had to restrain myself from squeezing him ’til his guts shot out his ears. So cute, these two. Especially when I had Rambo on my lap, and Jodie flopped over onto her back and fell asleep next to me.
Cat and mouse.
Mister Boogers, mid-yawn. I think he doesn’t actually know that Jodie’s right behind him.
Taking her life in her paws…
“RAAAAAAWRRRRRRR!” (Really, a yawn.)
Keeping a wary eye on the babies.
See the rest of today’s kittens pics (including the pet store kitties)
here.]]>
That first picture, Cat and Mouse, is a gorgeous photo, the lighting in it is just perfect.
I agree with the husband repeating things issue, some things caanot be translated as intended and that would be one. Nice job, Fred 😉
Lena plays just like Miz Poo does. Cat is used to it, but it confuses the hell out of the dog.
I thought Gary Cole was hot in American Gothic.
Not Hot?
What you talkin’ bout Willis?
I feel for you with the mother-in-law incident. Men don’t realize that women have a different code they go by…you know what I mean?
Isn’t that Lumberg? You’re in love with LUMBERG???
Looks like the kitties are getting along really well. Very impressive!!!
Cutest kitten pictures I have ever seen – they made my day!
I am impressed, btw, that you have thus far managed to avoid the lure of the orange kitty. That Vanessa, she’s a cutie.
Well, at least you know now…don’t tell Fred ANYTHING that you don’t want him to blab. He’s just like every other husband in America.
BTW, isn’t it kind of strange that your in-laws are ALWAYS right there when you come out of the pet store? Okay, they’re not stalking you, but it would be strange to see anyone over and over in the same place at the same time “accidentally”.
Maybe Fred has given his parent’s strict instructions that if you are to walk out of the pet store with any kitties tucked under your arm that they are to call him instantaniously and insitute an onsite intervention with you. Dunno— I’m just saying…. it’s possible.
Re: Gary Cole(man)
Fred & Gary Cole have similar angular features to their faces and maybe that’s why he’s attractive to you (Fred, or Gary, depending on who came first!) :o)
Take a picture of Fred doing that same look as Gary in that photo and you might see the resemblance of features. Or maybe I’m nuts.
P.S. Keep Jodie, keep her keep her keep her. Keeper! I have Sully (named after the blue monster in Monsters, Inc. named Sully, that the little girl calls Kitty… hence …Sully) and she’s a dead ringer for Jodie, and she’s the most lovey mellow belly-rub-lovin’ kitty I’ve ever known. Never once have I heard that cat hiss, she’s so mellow. Jodie looks like her personality might be the same.
‘Nuff rambling.
Kthanxbye.
My husband has had the good sense never to say shit like that to his mother. If he did — justifiable homocide.
You’d explain it to the police, who would between guffaws say,”He *snort* said THAT? *giggle* You are *hee* so fucking *snicker* kidding me?” Sounds of laughter ricocheting off interrogation walls…
On the death certificate, it would read, “Cause of death: Opening Mouth to wife’s inlaws, aka Stupidity.”
Thanks for sharing allllll those kitty pics, I still look at Peanut’s every day, I fell in love with that one. Oh, and Victoria Secret should give you a kick back for “So Sexy” shampoo sales since mentioning it… Nance wrote in her journal she ordered some and I have ordered a couple bottles too, who knows how many other readers have!!
OMG, I would kill my husband, too, if he said something like that to my mil! Men! I get such good reading ideas from you–I am putting that Morgan Spurlock book on hold after I write this. I saw Supersize Me and loved it. Have you seen any of the episodes of his weekly show (30 Days)? I caught a couple of them (I’m sure they’ll re-run all of them) and it was really good. The show is on FX.
Susan: I prefer to think of him as Mr. Brady! 🙂
Zazzu: Well, actually, when I see them they’re actually in the store checking out the kittens, as I’m leaving the kitten room. STALKING ME. Heh.
Kate West: Yeah, we watched the whole season of 30 Days. I really liked them, too – especially the first episode, with he and his fiancee.
My daughter and I went to Victoria Secret and each bought So Sexy – our hair still smells great even at night!
Also, your floors are just beautiful!
I couldn’t help but snort when I read that you wanted to squeeze Rambo’s guts out he was so cute – I thought I was the only one that got that urge *grin*
I wonder if Victoria’s Secret deliver to Aus… I was happy people mentioned the name of it in the comments as I can’t access the website from work (lingerie is just so naughty, you know) and keep forgetting to check from home.
Oh Robyn, I nearly wet my pants laughing when I saw those Gary Cole pictures. I have to admit, not being a big television/movie watcher in recent years, I thought it must have been that second Gary Cole. What a wanker I am!!!
I’ve always thought Morgan Spurlock looked like James Hetfield of Metallica:
http://www.tarsierjungle.net/hetfield/albums/history/james002.jpg
When I read about your in-laws, I had a vision of them using chickens as a hallucinogen (they were smoking chickens.) 🙂
i also giggled about “smoking chickens” because i am like 11. and my husband and i were looking at your photos last night and i told him that mister boogers real name is not mister boogers and when he asked me what his real name was, i couldn’t remember. how sad is that? it will probably come to me in a flash while i am brushing my teeth 2 weeks from now or something.
xo
I’m on A&E’s notify list when Family Plot comes out on DVD. I’ll pass the info along to ya when I am contacted.
The Beth Method of (Relatively) Painless Application of Nasty Antibiotic Liquid to Kittens: 1)Toss that eye dropper dingus that comes with the amoxi ‘cuz it’s useless. Ask the vet for some 3cc syringes (no needles…) 2)Pre load the syringes with the correct dosage, one syringe for each kitten. 3) Grab the kitten by the scruff of it’s neck and hold it against your chest. You will not hurt the kitten *and* 90% of kittens have a natural instinct to freeze when held this way. 4) Use the end of the syringe to pry open the kitten’s jaws of death and get it as far toward the back the the kitten’s mouth as possible. 5) Quickly push the plunger down to pipe the goop into the kitten’s mouth. 6) The kitten will struggle, but try to hold onto them until they swallow otherwise they’ll shake their heads and spray pink stuff all over you and the room. If the dosage is large compared to the size of the kitten, you may need to do it in two goes.
All seven of my foster kittens are going to start on antibiotic liquid tonight… I know your pain!
Wrap up that little cat and mouse and ship them to me. What an absolutely perfect picture! I’m calling from the midwest – here kitty, kitty!
Of course Lee Tergeson and Morgan Spurlock both have a passing resemblance to Tim McGraw, with hair. Not to be confused with Phil McGraw. I’m just sayin’
I want both kittens!
omg, finally.. someone else who watches Family Plots! I LOVE that show.. but am sick to death of Rick and Melissa. I was so glad to see him dating someone else in a show a few weeks ago. Chucks funny. useless. but funny.
That Lee/Morgan comparison is downright spooky. And I have to agree with you on Gary Cole. I thought the same thing when I saw Wanted the other night for the first time. It’s hard to believe that’s Lumberg. (Luuumburg fuuucked ‘er…) One last thing I must share with you because you talk about the same shows I watch and make strange celebrity comparisons…so perhaps you will appreciate it. Ben Stiller as Starsky = Johnny Hardesty from MTV’s Trailer Fabulous.