7/4/05

* * * Dear neighbors: Yes, yes, it is QUITE an amazing thing that you can buy fireworks every three feet during the summer season here in lovely Madison Alabama, and it is so very fortunate that you live on a street that ends in a circle, so y’all can gather up a large group of friends and set them off directly across from my house. And I didn’t bitch – much – about the fact that you were setting off fireworks last night, or that you were scaring the holy shit out of the half-feral mother cat we’re fostering (though the kittens certainly thought the fireworks were the bee’s knees), because as Fred pointed out, y’all usually stop at a reasonable hour. And you did. You stopped well before 10:00, and even the fuckheads in the other subdivision stopped not long after 10:00, and even though I know y’all will be setting off fireworks again tonight, I’m sure you’ll stop at a reasonable hour again. And yes, the fireworks are pretty and cool and all that. So I even admired them for a moment, despite the loud noises they make. But I predicted to Fred last night, I said “There’s going to be fireworks shit all over our lawn and driveway tomorrow morning, I KNOW IT.” and then I said “Is it wrong to hope that they blow something off?” and then I felt bad and said “Well, not an arm or a leg, or an eyeball. Maybe just a pinky finger. No one ever uses the pinky finger.” As far as I know, no one blew any body parts off with the fireworks last night, but on the lawn and driveway? Fireworks shit. In the street? Fireworks shit. And I know you fucking lame-os won’t go so far as to PICK THE FIREWORKS SHIT up or even send your kids around to do it. No, you’ll just leave it there to be driven over and rained on and kicked at, and eventually it’ll either be ground into nothing or kicked down the gutter, so why should you be bothered to pick that shit up? I thought I was lazy and rude, but I’d never leave shit all over someone’s lawn, because that’s beyond rude. That makes me want to smack you, really hard. I swear to god, I will NEVER live at the end of a circle, ever again. Fuckers.

* * *
Currently reading: How I Stole Her Husband, by Liz Ireland. Finished over the weekend: Eleven on Top, by Janet Evanovich. Gotta love that Stephanie Plum. Anyone else envision The Rock as Ranger? I can’t think of who would be perfect to play Stephanie, though. Suggestions? Also finished, late last night: Family History, by Dani Shapiro. I absolutely could not put this book down. I highly recommend it.
* * *
It has suddenly occurred to me that since they’ve been fixed, the kittens – and Mia! – are available for adoption, even though there’s no room at the pet store. If anyone in the area (or willing to drive to the area) is seriously interested in adopting one of the kittens, let me know. You’ll still have to contact the lady who runs the shelter and fill out an application and everything, but I sure would rather have as many of the babies adopted and going straight to homes where they’ll be loved than sitting in a cage at the pet store, you know?
* * *
Just for the record, if you send me an email and show an unnatural (read: any) interest in my feet and the sandals that gave me a blister on top of my feet two years ago, and follow said interest up by requesting pictures of my feet, guess what? You’re not so much going to get a reply, as a shudder and a deletion.
* * *
Speaking of shoes, these are the best investment I’ve ever made. They’re incredibly comfortable, I can do a lot of walking (as in, shopping – I haven’t tried them on exercise-type walking) in them, and they’re holding up well. I probably ought to get myself a pedicure, however, because my heels are cracked and dirty (because I prefer to walk around without shoes on) and hideous. I’ve never had a pedicure, though, and the thought of someone touching my feet fills me with terror. Also, it’s not the sort of thing I’d want to do alone. Is that weird?
* * *
So, when you’re watching a television show or movie, do you find yourself distracted by small details? For instance, I was watching (“Califorrrrrnia! Califorrrrrrnia! Caaaaaaaaaaliforrrrniaaaaaaaaa!“) The O.C. while I was exercising the other day (IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE VALENTINE’S EPISODE OF SEASON 1, SKIP THIS. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!) I was watching the Valentine’s Day episode of Season 1, and at the end Sandy and Kirsten walked into their bedroom and it was filled with candles and rose petals and a big-ass box of chocolates, and my first thought was* “Who the hell lit the candles and set up the bedroom?” Because it sure wasn’t Sandy, because he was at the dance-shindig-thingy, and it wasn’t Ryan, because he was at the dance-shindig-thingy too, and it sure as hell wasn’t Seth, because he was off talking to Summer about their bad sex, so who? Does one ask one’s housekeeper to do that sort of thing, or what? *Actually, my very first thought was “Hey. I never get lit candles and rose petals and chocolates!”, and then I realized we could never have that many lit candles because we have very nosy cats with tails that would catch on fire (no one on The O.C. has any sort of pet, have you noticed?), and I further realized that I’d eventually get pissy about having to clean up the rose petals (and I don’t like the smell of roses, anyway, because they smell JUST LIKE BEER to me, for some reason), and god KNOWS I don’t need any more chocolate in my life. I’m the ultimate romantic, aren’t I?
* * *
We watched Troy Saturday night because Fred had seen it and thought I might like it, too. Not a bad movie, but Fred wished there’d been more naked Brad Pitt. On an interesting sidenote, the actress who played Helen of Troy – Diane Kruger – and the actress who played Briseis – Rose Byrne – were in the suckalicious Wicker Park together. It was bugging the hell out of me that Briseis looked so familiar to me, and that was why, because I’d seen her in (the horribly boring) Wicker Park. And on another interesting sidenote, the messenger boy who walked in to the tent at the beginning to wake up Brad Pitt looked familiar to me, and guess what? Jacob Smith! Owen, from Party of Five! Also, Nan from Circle of Friends! Hamish from Braveheart! HOLY SHIT. Brian Cox is playing Dr. Finch in the movie version of Running with Scissors! And Joseph Fiennes as Neil Bookman! Sorry. I get a little caught up in the Internet Movie Database sometimes.
* * *
The kitten section. So, the kittens are doing well. Mia, on the other hand… See, Saturday night as Fred and I were laying in bed, we started talking about Mia and how we felt so sorry for her, because every time we went into the room she’s in – which is next door to the room the kittens are in – she would run out into the big box we have blocking the way so she can’t escape into the rest of the house, and she’d howl in the direction of the kittens’ room, and one of them would hear her and meow sadly, and she’d start digging at the box and trying frantically to get to them. So every time we went in to see her, we were feeling really bad for her, and we started talking about it in bed Saturday night – as I mentioned – and we decided to put her back with her kittens. So we – Fred – bundled her up and took her into the room with the kittens, and they came over to sniff at her, and she purred and licked them, and we felt glad that we’d reunited the Momma and the babies, and we went to bed. And then Sunday, every time we went into the room Mia would run out into the box and lay down and give me a look like “What the fuck did I want to go back in there for, again?”, and she wasn’t purring, and if the kittens would come over to her she’d push them away. So we boxed her up and took her back into the other room, and she seems okay, though I don’t think she’s feeling good. She threw up a few times last night, which I suspect was brought on by stress – the fireworks were really freaking her out – so we gave her an anti-emetic and loved on her a little, and I guess we’ll just see how it goes. Fred did try to introduce Mister Boogers and Mia, to see how – if – they’d get along, with the idea that we’d just let her out into the house if they were okay with each other. Mia was okay, but Mister Boogers was a great big baby, so it doesn’t seem that that’s a very good idea. Poor Mia. DSC05477 “So then he said… hehehe!.. he said… bwahaha!… he said…’The Aristocrats!’…” DSC05322 “Bahahah! Hahahahaha! ‘The Aristocrats!’…” Dsc05491 “Hehe…ha…whew! That joke just never gets old!” DSC05411 “Hee! I’m sticking my tongue out at her, but she can’t see me! Also, woman who brings me food and tries to give me too much love, that is one HAIRY-ASS leg you’ve got there. Nasty pedicure-needing foot, too.” DSC05403 “Hey, you guys! The litterboxes are clean! Last one in is a pile of stinky poo!” DSC05335 “If I stick this one claw out really far, I can pick my nose.” DSC05333 “Nyah!” DSC05321 “Wazzuuuuuuppp!” DSC05219 Oy smiles again. Dsc05325 I have no idea what this expression means, but it cracks me UP.
* * *
Dsc05071 Spot knows that if he sits on the arm of the loveseat, his Daddy will eventually come along and give him lurve.
* * *
]]>

20 thoughts on “7/4/05”

  1. I have ALWAYS seen The Rock as Ranger. But my buddy who turned me on to the books and I have never been able to decide who could play Stephanie. When she was younger, Sandra Bullock MAYBE could have pulled it off, if for no other reason than she’s the type who’d have no problem looking like crap after her car blew up yet again, and doing all the associated pratfalls.
    If I’m not mistaken (and PLEASE correct me if I am), Reese Witherspoon bought the movie rights to One For The Money not long ago. THAT would be a disaster in the making. She’s too delicate to play someone like Stephanie.

  2. Someone who feels the way I do about fireworks! They looked cool last night, but there is now fireworks shit *all over* the walkway (I live in an apartment complex) and *all over* my parking space and guess who gets the nasty note on her door from the manager if it’s not cleaned up?
    Not anyone who set off the fireworks, that’s who.

  3. SO… Since you’re coming to Maine you could bring me a kitten right? 🙂

  4. I, too, am a huge Janet Evanovich stalker…err…fan. I totally see The Rock as Ranger! I picture Jennifer Grey (as she looked in “Dirty Dancing”) as Stephanie. And Estelle Getty HAS to be Grandma Mazur. Queen Latifah would make an excellent Lula. Not that I’ve put much thought into it or anything…
    Love, love, love the kitty pics AND captions! Makes me LOL every time!
    Happy 4th to you and the rest of the family! I hope your neighbors get a clue and clean up their mess. How rude!

  5. Whoo! *slaps the table* You even had me cracking up at the Aristocrats! You are a whiz at captioning your photos Robyn. 🙂

  6. I also have never had a pedicure,and I’d like to get one, but I’m afraid that whoever does the procedure will take one look at my feet and go running out of the salon. Hee! I’m a big barefoot-type person too and my feet have suffered for it.
    The photos of the kittens make me laugh every day.

  7. If I lived anywhere close to you, I’d be there in a flash and “catnap” Flossie. She is just so darn cute! Alas, Seattle to Alabama is a little far to go for a kittie, no matter how cute.

  8. It looks like Spot could be the Daddy of the kitties. He’s got similar markings.

  9. The best kitty expressions yet! (Please don’t give the babies away) Mr Boogers will adjust, just dump him in the room with all the kids and if all his hair doesn’r fall out from stress, you’ll know he adjusted nicely. If it does all fall out, well, it’ll grow back directly,,,right?

  10. Oy has the same expression as Kurt Cob4in did in his wedding picture.
    I don’t know why I think that but it came immediately to mind. “Reminds me of Kurt Cob4in in seldom-seen goofy mode.”
    I’m not on crack, but I have ingested a large quantity of potato salad. Hmm.

  11. I vote that you keep Peanut. (Since I can’t )
    Also , you guys must have one hell of a fast camera. What is it?
    I have been able to capture ONE cat yawn on film …in about 43 years.

  12. We had/have to separate our mama kitty from the remaining babies…at 11 weeks old they are STILL trying to nurse of of her been through hell to wean and back boobs. Poor mama kitty.
    Question…did your vet have any issues with spaying/vaccinating Mia with her still lactating? My vet seems to want our poor mama kitty totally dried up before they will give her the required shots before they will spay her. Sometimes taking in a stray and loving the hell out of them is insanity 😀

  13. I hear you, I want to march across the street, and stab,stab stab, my pyro neighbor with a sparkler.

  14. I am constantly bothered by little things on TV or in movies that don’t add up and am therefore constantly being told to just enjoy the show, but it bugs me! Don’t they hire people just to make sure everything adds up, same as they check continuity and to make sure in a period piece the dialogue only includes words that would have been in vogue at the time?

  15. I’ll meet you in Maine for a pedicure!
    😉
    And not because I *heart* your feet!
    😉

  16. Rose petals have a tendency to stain sheets. Not nearly as romantic as TV makes it look.

  17. I get cracked heels too. I have been using foot scrub and it really helps. I found one called Bare Feet at Walmart for under $3. It’s plum and spearamint. It has pumice in it. Just scrub your heels in the shower or bath and moisturize and put on socks when you get out. My neighbor tells me pedicures are great because they take all that stuff off, but I haven’t been brave enough to do it either. :0)

Comments are closed.