(Originally posted on November 5, 2008; edited only to take out the profanity so I can post it over at the family-friendly Love & Hisses!)
Several weeks ago, I decided that the leaves in the side yard needed to be raked up and carried (via the tractor) to the compost heap. Fred brought the tractor around, and I scooped the leaves up into the tractor… scoop… thingy.
It was a pain, using my hands and the rake to scoop up all those leaves.
Not long after, as if a sign directly from the Gods of Gardening, I happened to be leafing through a catalog – Gardener’s Supply Company, to be exact – and I came across an item that would surely make my life easier.
Big scoops that are made to fit over your hands, with which you can pick up leaves and debris! And they only cost $12.95 (note: they’re $14.95 now. STUPID ECONOMY). I KNEW I had to have them. I ordered them, and they arrived on my front porch lickety-split.
And then I ignored them. Because I’d already taken care of the pile of leaves and I felt no sudden urge to do any more raking. So they sat there on the dining room table. And sat there. And sat there. Then I moved them out to the garage, and they sat there. And sat there.
Then one day, after Fred moved the littlest chickens from the brooder to the small chicken coop, we went out at dusk to herd them into their chicken coop. Little chickens are not born knowing that they’re supposed to go back into the coop when it starts to get dark, so it takes a few weeks of teaching them to go back in. They eventually get the idea and start going in on their own, but the two weeks of teaching them to go in the coop at dark is a killer.
Herding chickens is not so much fun, especially little chickens, because they’re tiny and can slip through the space between your hands before you’ve realized it.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
One evening, after too much time spent chasing the little chickens around and putting them in their coop, a light bulb went on over my head, and I thought “Hey. Those leaf scoops are kind of big. I wonder if they’d be any help?”
Yes INDEED they were helpful. They were VERY helpful. They were, as they say, the best thing since sliced bread. With the help of the leaf scoops (or, as I started calling them, SCOOP HANDS) we got those baby chickens herded and put away in no time flat.
So I present to you, dear readers, a pictorial to answer the burning question:
WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH SCOOP HANDS?!
As mentioned, you can herd baby chickens with SCOOP HANDS!
You can ALSO herd ADULT chickens with SCOOP HANDS!
You really CAN scoop up leaves with SCOOP HANDS!
You can swat at wasps that dive-bomb you with SCOOP HANDS!
You can scratch pigs behind the ears with SCOOP HANDS!
You can deflect Het Rays from stumpy little gray cats with SCOOP HANDS! (Awww, Mister Boogers, RIP.)
The SCOOP HANDS, as you can see, are multi-functional. They are inexpensive, they are light, they are AWESOME. They are not, however, perfect. There are many things you cannot do with SCOOP HANDS!
So with this incomplete list, I answer the burning question:
WHAT CAN YOU NOT DO WITH SCOOP HANDS!?
You cannot pick carrots with SCOOP HANDS!
You cannot pull a wagon with SCOOP HANDS!
You cannot help build a chicken coop with SCOOP HANDS!
You cannot open a gate with SCOOP HANDS!
You cannot stop yourself from getting smutz on the front of your shirt with SCOOP HANDS! SCOOP HANDS are not MAGIC, and if you are a klutz, you’ll be a klutz with or without SCOOP HANDS!
You cannot stop your husband from taking a picture of your butt unexpectedly, with SCOOP HANDS! Well, you could if you knew he was going to do it, but SCOOP HANDS are not all-knowing. SCOOP HANDS have no intelligence of their own. If you want to protect your butt from unwanted pictures, you have to direct the SCOOP HANDS to cover your back end!
The list could go on (don’t groan and roll your eyes at me!), but the list of things you both can and cannot do with SCOOP HANDS is infinite. You could probably come up with a new thing to do and not do with SCOOP HANDS every day (Come back! I won’t. I promise!), but I think you should know this, without a doubt:
SCOOP HANDS rock!
(Though if you don’t rake leaves or herd chickens, they might not really be worth your time. They still rock, though!)
Hi Robyn, just thought I’d let you know in my entertainer mag it lists the cat lady with 700 cats is gonna be on tonight at 10pm. Forgot what channel. But my tv guide doesn’t list it, so I’m gonna check in at 10 just to be sure. I don’t wanna miss this program.
Love the scoop hands but I don’t have much use for them, if I did I’d sure get me some :)I also wanted to compliment you on looking good. You must be drinking some of those skinny girl marguitas….ha.ha….can’t spell worth a darn and to lazy to look the word up. But those pictures are super duper good ones of you. All that gardening and chasing chicks has paid off for one good looking body…smile
I second what Mary said. What I noticed most is how great Robyn looks! Though I did enjoy the scoop-hands info, too.
Yes, you look awesome! The scoop hands are not bad either. Maybe I can use them to herd my two boys….lol! I’m sure they would love to use them.
I don’t really have a NEED for Scoop Hands, but reading this entry makes me feel like my life would just be So! Much! Better! if I owned a pair…
I second the fact that you’re lookin’ rawkin’ :-), and I do so miss The Boogs of Het.
Since you and Nance are BFF’s where has she been? She hasn’t posted in her blog since june, am worried and going through withdrawal pains. I love her writing and miss her terribly. Can you pretty please tell her to get back to writing
That show about the Cat House on the Kings is on the National Geographic channel this evening. What an awesome place.
I bought a pair of Scoopy Hands back when you originally posted this in 2008. I can’t imagine fall without them! Thanks Robyn!
I thought of u and Mister Booger a few nights ago. Remember Sylvester was a tuxie? And I lost him 6 weeks ago. The other night I came home late and I looked over at the neighbor’s driveway and there was a cat. Appeared to be short hair tuxie. Haven’t seen him. No cats at all since my buddy died. And then I saw movement beyond him and there was another cat. Appeared to be another tuxie. I thought of Jake and Elwood appearing shortly after you lost Mister Boogers. Then I said oh he’ll no he ain’t teaching Sylvester how to send me more cats to feed outside LOL I havent seen them again. I haven’t put food out since he died. After seeing the coyote and then the I’ll looking red fox, I don’t want to encourage any cats to come to my back porch.
That was an “ill looking” red fox. Damn auto correct!
So, the next pictorial entry I want to see is obviously of you herding deadly spiders into the spider traps. Using SCOOP HANDS!, of course. When can I expect this instructional entry, Robyn? When?? (LOL!)
(The new online sport- SpiderHerding!-Provide photographic evidence, and you too can join the competition!)
Also, have you realized that there is now evidence that the spiders are smarter than dear Tom Cullen? Shh, don’t tell him, he would be hurt if he knew..
And he is black like the spiders, too. Does this mean that he is Spiderman?
(Oh, how I miss those Spiderman entries.. how about another one? They were hilarious
Love,
Annika in Sweden
ahahaha I loved the Scoop Hands post the first time I read it — and it’s still a classic.
I’d like to see you using Scoop!Hands! in the kitchen. ha! I think they’d be great for canning.