Y’all, talk to me about garlic. Burpees tells me it’s time to start thinking ahead about Fall crops, and as garlic is supposed to be planted in the Fall, I’m thinking about it. (I’m very obedient.) Do I want hardneck or softneck? I’m thinking hardneck because I read somewhere that it stores longer, but then I read that softneck lasts longer, so what the hell? I know zilch about garlic aside from the fact that I like it, and I’m not planning to go hog wild with the growing of it, just want to plant some for my first try at it. So my ears are open, give me some advice, and if you have a favorite variety, let me know. I’m willing to try anything!
Look. I know you probably can’t tell this, but I try not to be a snob. I really really try. But when it comes to things like casting the tiny Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher, I can’t get on board. I mean, COME ON. Jack Reacher is a huge hulk of a man. Tom Cruise is a tiny, elfin thing.
(Okay, I exaggerate. But seriously, he is neither huge nor hulking.)
I hoped and prayed that I’d be proven wrong – I wanted to be proven wrong, I did! – but after viewing the trailer, I’m concluding that Tom Cruise is no Jack Reacher. Not only is he too small, but his voice is too high, and he’s trying too hard when he says “Remember, you asked for this.” He’s too obviously ACTING, because Jack Reacher would say that sentence without trying to make it sound menacing – and it would make you shit your pants. When Tom Cruise says it, trying too hard, it just makes me want to boop him in the nose, all “Oooh, little man, who’s the little man? Who’s going to kick my ass? I’m soooooo scared!”
David Morse would have been an excellent Reacher (though I think he’s probably too old for it now). Now THERE is a man who can be menacing without having to work at it.
Recently, after being repeatedly warned that Dish Network would no longer be carrying AMC, and knowing that one of the best shows ever – Breaking Bad – airs on AMC, we switched from Dish Network to DirecTV (or however the hell they capitalize it).
What a friggin’ undertaking. When Fred called DirecTV to sign up with them, he was on the phone for something ridiculous like 45 minutes. He finally got done with that call, which was basically just setting up the appointment to have it installed, and from then on the phone rang what seemed like constantly. An automated call to let us know that we’d set up the appointment for this day and this time. An automated call to remind us again. Another automated call to remind us that the appointment was the next day. A call in the morning to make sure someone would be home. The installer called later in the morning to let us know what approximate time he’d be here. A call when he was on the way. And then? A call to ask if the house number was on the mailbox. (At that point, I was able to say “You should be able to see a man in a red shirt mowing the lawn. That’s the house.”)
They got it hooked up and the guy left and then we discovered that the DVR they’d installed, rather than being the one that can record five (!) things at once, was the regular, boring two-things-at-once DVR. I was not having this, not because we necessarily need to record five (!) things at once, but because there have been many times when we’ve needed to record three things at once, but couldn’t and thus had to decide which show to skip. So Fred had to call and make another appointment for another installer to come out. Cue the incessant phone calls.
In the meantime, since we had our DirecTV service set up, Fred called Dish Network to cancel. Weren’t they so very sad, Dish Network was, that after they gave Fred the BULLSHIT spiel about how Dish wasn’t REALLY going to drop AMC, they were still in negotiations, blah de blah (which is total bullshit, as they do NOT carry AMC any longer), to find out that Fred had already signed the contract with DirecTV and there was nothing Dish was going to be able to say to change that. So they told Fred that they’d send a kit to us so we could send the DVR, remote, and something else from the satellite dish back to them.
For the next week, we got calls from Dish letting us know that our mailing kit was on the way and that if we didn’t send their shit back to them within 30 days, there’d be a charge. Every fucking day, multiple times a day.
I started referring to Dish as “our psycho ex-boyfriend” and DirecTV as “our insecure new boyfriend.” After Dish called, I’d hang up and say “That was our psycho ex-boyfriend letting us know that he still wants his shit back.” After DirecTV called, I’d hang up and say “Our insecure new boyfriend wants to make sure we’ll really show up for our date.”
Of course, as soon as DirecTV got the new DVR installed, we started getting the “How’d we do?!” calls. And once Dish got their shit back, they stopped calling, though they’re still sending letters in the mail trying to woo us back. “Dear Fred Anderson, We’ll do anything to get you back!” they say. Yeah? Okay, buy out our two year contract with DirecTV, start carrying AMC again, and give us the cool five-tuner DVR. Somehow when they say they’ll do “anything”, they mean “anything but that.”
Do I love DirecTV more than Dish? Well, the DVR that records five things at once is cool, as is the three months of free HBO, Showtime and Cinemax (I think Starz, too, but who the hell watches that channel?), but I think in the scheme of things they’re all the same.
Alls I know is that Breaking Bad premiered this week, and we were all OVER that shit. Love that damn Jesse Pinkman. Bitch.
Previously
2011: Probably the early-onset Alzheimer’s.
2010: Things on my recent list of annoyances.
2009: No entry.
2008: No entry.
2007: Goddamn squirrels.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: No entry.
2002: OR I may have thought to myself, well, every author is entitled to a horrid piece of excrement or two.
2001: I’ve been packing in a desultory and lazy fashion this week, and have about half the upstairs done.
2000: I think if any of the kitties lose their mind and go on a human-throat-gnawing spree, it’ll be her.
When I heard the rumour about TC playing Reacher, I was certain the fan fury would nix that puppy in the bud. Ugh, so wrong. Though I don’t know why I’m surprised – it’s not as if the studio heads have their finger on the pulse of the viewing public.
Then I see the trailer advert about “homicide detective” Jack Reacher. WTF? I couldn’t even bring myself to watch the trailer for fear of it ruining the books for me.
I’m thinking book 16 was a good way for me to finish with the series, so as long as I can ignore any future publicity about the movie or books, the series will remain a treasured favourite. Heh.
Love Jesse Pinkman, too! I was thrilled to hear “bitch” once again on Sunday night!!
Okay, I have never read the Reacher books. I only know about him because of the fosters. However, as soon as I saw that Tom Cruise was cast as Jack Reacher I was waiting for your reaction. I was excited about the movie because I wanted to get on board with the Reacher books and thought this movie would probably be out before I got to the books. But Tom Cruise? Ugh. I dislike the guy for a number of reasons but mainly because he always seems like Tom Cruise acting in a movie. I love David Morse, ever since St. Elsewhere. He was great in a movie with Kevin Spacy and Samuel L. Jackson titled The Negotiator. You just never quite knew if he was a good guy or bad guy.
Tom Cruise, that means that is another movie I was looking forward to that I will not be going to. Ugh.
We have DirecTV (?) and the biggest issue I have is that I had DISH for 10+ years and knew the order of my favorite channels . The channels have different numbers on DirecTV and I am so lazy that I miss some channels since they are not in the group of channels I usually surf. That is really lazy. The music channels are a little different but not bad for having “radio” int he house that is a specific genre or style and no commercials.
I bookmarked this blog post for when I finally get my act together and plant some garlic: http://creditcardhell.blogspot.com/2011/07/growing-garlic-is-so-easy.html
I hope it helps!
Bwahaha, that bitch video was awesome. Also, every episode is always my new favorite and I didn’t think anything would replace the end of season 4 until the beginning of season 5, hahaha, so fabulous!
bitch bitch bitch bitches…
Elaine hit the nail on the head, why I can’t stand Tom Cruise as an actor. I never lose the sense of the fact that “here is Tom Cruise, acting” when I watch him. I compare him to someone like Russell Crowe, who I know got a lot of bad press, but is a hell of an actor. I saw him in The Insider and Gladiator in one week, and couldn’t believe it was the same guy. More than just the physical transformation-he just inhabits the characters.
Terrible miscasting for the Reacher film.
Jeez-the TV providers are nuts in your neck of the woods. Ours must be the ex-boyfriend who forgets about you the second you break up with him!
I do not like how DirecTv has managed to get Inside all kinds of stores to sell their stuff. I have seen them in Sam’s, Wally world, and Best Buy. I do not like being harassed in the stores. They send mailings and call the house. grrr
I first heard about Tom Cruise playing Jack Reacher when they were talking about his divorce. I had the tv on the background and heard something about “you’ll see Tom next as Jack Reacher” and I almost threw something at the tv screen.
I cannot see TC playing Reacher either. Reacher is way more awesome than TC cold ever even pretend to be.
Gee… I feel like negative Nance today. Sorry.
I had no idea who Jack Reacher was, so I had to look at the trailer. It’s definitely not my kind of movie with or without Tom Cruise.
We almost switched from Verizon Fios to Dish last year, but our house is positioned in such a way that the dish would have to be placed in the front and our HOA does not allow that. For once, I can say thank you HOA. We love Breaking Bad too. I discovered it about a month ago and my husband and I have been catching up on netflix. We still have the last episode of season 4 and then we can delve into season 5. I’m tempted to stockpile the episodes on my DVR so we can watch them all at once. 🙂
I just started the Reacher books and am devouring them all willy-nilly, out of order, whatever comes available at the library first. Never would I picture Tom Cruise. So now I’m thinking about who I WOULD picture and the only actor I can settle on so far is maybe Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He’s big enough, tough enough without having to Play Tough, and still cute enough and endearing enough. Cruise is simply all wrong, for most things, really, but especially for this.
When I heard about TC being cast as Reacher I was appalled. Obviously no one associated with the movie has actually read the book! I can sort of see Dwayne Johnson as Reacher, his acting is not quite there but he’d be a darn site better than TC will EVER be. The movie can go straight to DVD as far as I’m concerned because no Reacher fan in their right mind will go see it.
Last week my friend said “Hmm, I’m gonna check out Breaking Bad, everyone says it’s sooo good. You should too.”
So I fired up Netflix and now, less than a week later I am on season 4 and already getting the shakes because my Breaking Bad episodes are almost over.
I may or may not have called in to work last Monday to watch more.
Bitch.
They just ended the blackout of the viacom channels after ten days and a new contract. I was still getting AMC somehow. But hold the phone…there’s a dvr that records FIVE shows at a time? I have the boring 2 show recorder. Hmph. Did u get the whole house dvr set up? I want to do that. I have had very good service from DirecTV. I only lose a signal when the storms get really bad which hasn’t happened often.
Isn’t David Morris only 3 years older than Tom Cruise?
Also, Robyn if you still have a green pond, you can throw some barley in there to clean it up naturally.
I have thus far resisted the habit of Breaking Bad – I’ve been thinking that I’ll probably need a fix after the Olympics.
When we set up our DirecTv, I set up my appointment online. That was easy. Then I got a call from a supervisor, and it was less than a 5 minute call.
I hate hate hate talking to random companies on the phone, so I’ll do almost anything to keep from it. lol
Love planting garlic- it is so easy to grow. But I have no idea if my growing conditions in upstate NY would translate to Alabama. I grow hard neck and generally a variety of flavors. If you can find Arcuri- it is wonderful. I plant the largest cloves I have in a raised bed- usually 6 inches apart anytime between end of October and end of December. Preferably before the ground is frozen. The more nutrient rich your bed is the better. And that’s it. I harvest in July- this year it was several weeks early. You can tell when it is ready when several leaves are dead or if the scape is standing straight up. Usually I cut the scapes off, this year I left them on. I don’t know if it made a difference in how big the bulbs are. I’ve heard both sides of the argument. Maybe next year I will remove half the scapes and see what happens. The bulbs are on my sun porch curing. In a few weeks I will braid them up and store them.
This has probably already been answered by you, but I can’t find it. We have way too much summer squash in our garden (what were we thinking with six plants???) I love it, but no way we can eat enough to keep up, and our neighbors are starting to hide when they see us coming … my co-workers cringe at the sight of yet another basket of “free” squash. So – we bit the bullet and today bought a Foodsaver vacuum sealing machine. I’ve never used one before, and have no idea the best way to preserve it. We have patty-pan, crook neck, round zucchini, and some other darker round summer squash. Any advice?
And on another completely unrelated topic … what did you think of Ann Curry’s last morning on the Today Show?
Don’t know HOW I missed reading this post, but your take on the Dish/DirectTV was hilarious — but unfortunately true. We have only ONE cable provider here, though they bought out the previous one. Charter now. At any rate, all the phone calls started up soon after the change-over…and I swear to God, the last time they called I told them to shove it…and IF they called again, I would cancel and go to Dish or whatever. I guess I finally said the magic words: “I’m sure this is being recorded and DO YOU HEAR ME NOW, STOP CALLING.”
And they did. Jesus H. Christ on a crutch!
I know this is an old conversation, but I wanted to say that, while I’m not a Tom Cruise fan in the least (and on a personal note he pretty much creeps me out), he was brilliant (yes, brilliant!) in Rock of Ages. Seriously. It was a fun, fluffy movie worth seeing if you love ’80s rock music, and Russell Brand and some of the other actors were good, but Tom blew. my. mind. That is all!
Agree 100% about Cruise as Reacher. It is a movie I will NOT be watching!