look at and test-drive cars.
Fuck if I can even figure out what I spent all day doing. I know there was tomato-canning (note to myself: cook the tomatoes before canning, next time, otherwise they shrink too damn much to make it worth it) and watermelon-rind-pickle-canning (we tested out a couple of the rind pickles before I canned them. They are REALLY good. They remind me a lot of apple pie filling; I bet they’d be good cooked in little handheld pies.) and lots of kitchen-cleaning and vacuuming, but other than that? I don’t know.
Ah well. I’m sure it was productive, anyway.
I canned more green beans on Sunday, giving us right around 45 billion jars of green beans. It’s a good thing Fred did a second planting of green beans! Otherwise, we might run out before we’re 95.
The dehydrator has been running close to 24 hours a day. I had just gotten caught up on the yellow squash and zucchini when Fred brought more in. DAMNIT. I cut a ton of cherry tomatoes in half last night and started them dehydrating; those fuckers take FOREVER to dehydrate – it’s been 17 hours, and they’re not done yet.
Okra, on the other hand, dry out pretty quickly.
Speaking of okra, they have such pretty flowers, it’s a shame they’re hidden by the leaves of the okra plant.
I bought a bunch of bananas at the grocery store on Thursday with the intention of dehydrating them because banana chips are GOOD, and better for you if there’s no oil or extra crap added, but the dehydrator’s been so jam-packed with stuff from the garden that I haven’t had a chance to dry the bananas yet.
So Fred started talking about test-driving a Hyundai Accent late last week, and Saturday morning he decided it was time to go do it. After he spent the day working, he took a shower and we headed to Decatur. We took it for a drive, he decided he liked it, and we went inside to talk to the saleslady about how much he’d get for his SUV.
Now, here’s the thing. There’s little on this earth I hate more than all the baloney involved when you’re buying a car and trading in your old one and trying to get the most you can for your old vehicle and all that. It makes me want to rip my hair out and run screaming down the street. Somehow I had forgotten how much I loathe that, and then when we sat down and the saleslady had some guy come out to talk to us about how much Fred’s old car would be worth, I remembered and my heart sank.
And then the guy sat down to talk to us, and I turned into a pouty teenage brat. Because when it comes down to it, this whole thing was – in my opinion – Fred’s business and didn’t involve me and why on earth would I even need to pay attention. I noticed when the salesman sat down that there was some sort of crease across the top of his head – like a scar from an operation – and then I didn’t bother to look at him again while he talked and talked and talked.
I looked at my shoes. I checked out my fingernails. I re-read the last text message I’d gotten from Liz. I considered texting her back (and only didn’t because then she’d text me back, and when she calls or texts me, Beavis and Butthead start laughing (that’s the ringtone assigned to her) and I didn’t want to be THAT obvious. I picked lint off my pants. I glanced up at Fred once or twice.
“Is that all?” Fred said, in dismay when the guy named what they were willing to pay for Fred’s old car. “Kelley Blue Book is blahblahblah and blah-dy blah blah.”
“Well,” the guy said. “Blah blah blah. And then blah. But now, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll call Blah at our sister store and I’ll make sure I’m not missing something. I’ve been out of work for a little while. I got into a motorcycle accident and they put a lot of metal in my head, so it’s making me twitch – it’s not you that’s making me twitch! Ha! Ha! – and I want to make sure I’m giving you a good price.”
I couldn’t help it. My head shot up and I looked at the guy like:
and then I glanced at Fred, who looked like:
and we stared at each other like:
I can’t speak for Fred, but I know I was thinking “I hope that scar on his head doesn’t pop out and his brain doesn’t come sproinging at me, because then I’d have to bat it like a volleyball and I never was very good at volleyball.”
After more salespeak, wherein I sat in my seat, mesmerized by the scar on the guy’s head,
Fred asked if we could have a moment alone to speak, and then we talked about whether he really wanted to trade down from an SUV to a small car (yes, because it uses much less gas), and whether he liked the car. We went out to look at the car some more, and then we went back inside, and Fred told the saleslady he was afraid that going from an SUV to a small car would be too much of a shock, and then she suggested that we take the car for an extended test drive through Monday, and that way he could have some time to see what it would really be like, and he’d see whether he liked driving it to work and all that.
So we provided our license and insurance information to the lady, she wrote it all down, and we left Fred’s car at the dealership and left in the Accent.
I like the car – like it a LOT, actually, I drove it to Lowe’s yesterday and except for the fact that it’s a standard (I can drive a standard just fine, but prefer automatics; I tried to convince Fred that he’d be happier in an automatic, but he says he likes the “control” a standard gives him) I think it’s the bee’s knees. I told him I thought we should trade my Reno in for an Accent, and we could be dorks in matching cars (except that the one he’s been driving is a dark blue and I’d rather have the silvery sky blue), and I guess we’ll see about that.
It’s a rough life, being a Toms.
Even a rougher life, being a Sugs.
I can’t stop laughing over those pics of “you and Fred” looking at each other over the salesman’s metal brain. Hee!
Priceless expression!
I can’t get over all the canning and dehydrating and etc. etc. work you’re doing!! You’re a farmer’s wife all of a sudden. I don’t know how you do it, and still manage to take care of the cats AND update your journal. I have never been joking when I say you do more before 9:00 am than I do all day.
Thanks for the laugh!
We did the car shopping thing this weekend too… damn salespeople… at least our guy (who also had a scar on his forehead) didn’t tell us he had metal in his head making him twitch! I loath carshopping!
-Nancy
*ahem* We’re dorks, apparently, because the hub and I have had the same car now for a few years. Previously, we each had a Ford Escape (his black, mine dark gray) and now we each have a Ford Focus (his black, mine… wait for it … dark gray; I wish I’d gotten red). This time, his is a four-door hatchback and mine is a two-door hatchback, so we are hardly alike at all!
I LOVE my Hundai. Love love love. I actually just traded in my ’05 Elantra for an ’07 Tucson (the little SUV).
The expression pictures made my day! 😀
Too many watermelon rind pickles will give you the shits. You’ve been warned!
I had a Hyundai Accent (’03) and absolutely loved it. Mine was a standard too and the only maintenance I did on it was tires and brakes (once in 100k miles).
HIGHLY recommended.
Here’s a good thing to do with all the zuke: Slice it really thin, salt with a seasoned salt and dry it in the dehydrator until crisp. You can use them like chips – they’re great with dips, especially hummus. This works w/ eggplant, too.
Robyn,
I wouldn’t get to comfortable with the Spud’s empty room. She may be back home before you know it looking for her bed!!!
The car salesman story was hysterical!! It takes ALOT to make me laugh outloud when I am alone…that did it!! Car salesman are second to scum of the earth for the most part!! A twitchin one would be even worse!!
You’re obviously not the Alton Brown (Good Eats/Food Network) fan I am, but I’ll pass along his MacGyver dehydrator trick. Go to Lowes and get yerself one of these: http://www.lowes.com/lowes/lkn?action=productDetail&productId=149410-22168-220700431&lpage=none
(make sure its the paper filters and not fiberglass–this website doesn’t say but you want the PAPER filters) plus a 20″ box fan and a couple of bungie cords. Lay out 3 of the filters, and cover them with your sliced bananas. Stack them up and then stack the empty filter on top. Put yer box fan flat on a table, put the stack of filters on top of the business end (where the air comes OUT), and then bungee cord the whole thing so the filters stay attached. Then put your fan upright (the bananas should stay put because they’re sandwiched pretty tightly). Turn the fan on and let it just go for a long time, till the bananas are dry. It’ll take longer than your dehydrator because it’s not using heat, but it won’t COOK the bananas at the same time so they’re better. Plus it only cost you like $20 to make.
(a long-time lurker)
Oh my, I laughed… that Mr Boogers should be on stage. Although it’d have to be you directing him, I think.
We had to go through the same shit last month and it is still not settled all the way. One dealership wanted to rape us on our trade in (Ford Escape with 26801 miles on it) and have us pay 450 a month for the next FIVE years on a 24000 car. We quickly told him to go fuck himself and went to a competing dealership who gave us 10 grand for the Escape, we upgraded models (Caliber R/T with all the bling bling) AND we will have it paid off in a little over two years. UNDER 300 a month payment too. ASSHOLES. I hate having to buy shit where you have to haggle. This is one (one of many) reason I have never had a yard sale.
OH and they tried to get my husband to buy the car by telling him how pissed I would be that he did not buy it for me. He laughed at them and said “She’s not from around here, all I have to do is tell you that you are asking too much” Jackasses. Can you tell that I am still a bit miffed? Okay, I am done ranting.
Those dried okra are SO pretty–they’re like little jewels. I didn’t realize the blossoms were so gorgeous. I’d be tempted to pick them and put them in a vase. Some farmer’s wife I’d make!
That was hilarious how you did the “stared at each other like this” and put two photos. Comic genius… Found you at the Blogger’s Choice Awards where you’re nominated for Best Animal Blogger. I think you should definitely go for it! 🙂 I’d say add a Brag Badge to up your votes! 🙂 Or just tell all your loyal fans to vote for you! Good luck!
Kathy A – “second to scum of the Earth” ? Isn’t that a little dramatic – not to mention offensive? I’d go into to detail to refute your assertation, but it wouldn’t be productive, so I’ll just caution you to be a little less closed minded. You never know who you may offend.
Pic of Boogs….. SOOOO FUNNY!!!
Dehydrated bananas are nothing at all like the “Banana chips” you get in the store. They are brown and leathery and don’t taste very good. Just my 2 cents. When you’re all done there, you can come help me with my canning!
One of our evil car dealerships told us we could take a car home over the weekend, then came back and said that the great deal only extended if we bought the car that very day (Friday) and wouldn’t let us take it home for the weekend, either. They gave us all sort of runaround about how they’d give us $4000 for our $400 car (over 300,000 miles on it), which we didn’t believe and they royally pissed us off with their high-pressure sales techniques.
Needless to say, we didn’t buy their car and won’t ever go back there again.
On a followup note, their Friday-only deal magically extended itself over the next 3 weeks when the salesman kept leaving messages on our machine telling us that they’d extended the unextendable offer.
Losers.
You know that old Aesop’s fable about the grasshopper and the ant? You guys are the ants.
Did you guys eat this many vegetables in your city life? Do you think you’ll ever get sick of eating them? You two must be loaded (or unloaded) with fibery goodness!
I bought a Nissan Versa in December, I like it a lot but wish I had gotten the manual, I drove 5-speed for 12 years and it is quite a shocker losing that control, also it’s better on the gas. I’m sure if I had the manual I’d love it *sigh* I’ll never take my sister car shopping with me again!
“I hope that scar on his head doesn’t pop out and his brain doesn’t come sproinging at me, because then I’d have to bat it like a volleyball” – writing like that is what keeps me reading your blog every day – you are hilarious.
Hey Robin, just found a great kitty link and wanted to share!
http://www.catsinsinks.com/
Damn– you wasted no time clearing out Spud’s room! Where’s she supposed to sleep when she comes to visit?
Dawn: In the guest room, because that’s where guests sleep when they visit.
Robyn, I bought okra the other day (for the first time ever) and put them in a stir fry. It wasn’t bad, but if I were to cut them like you did, and set them out to dry, would the … slimey-ness go away? I can’t say I enjoyed the mucous factor of my dinner.
QUIT making me laugh like that at work! Those pics are priceless….
I used to dehydrate banana slices, but not until they were all the way dry, just partially, and they were chewy and sticky and sweet w/ no added sugar – delicious! The only thing that I would add sometimes is a sprinkling of cinnamon when they went in.
Good choice, going with the Accent. I, too, drive a Hyundai Accent and LOVE my car. Great gas mileage, little to no maintenance, a nice zippy drive, easy to park anywhere. The one thing on the car that I had to have replaced was something that was no longer covered by warranty, (I was over my 60,000 warranty on this part), and Hyundai still went ahead and replaced it for free! They said that even though I was well over my warranty, they felt I was “close enough.” Now THAT’s a company!