2003-11-18

Average Joe last night. I could kick myself! Argh!

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Good lord, what a day. It’s not even 1:00, and I’m ready for a nap! I got up as soon as Fred left this morning so that I could get started cleaning the upstairs. The biggest job – though the smallest room – was the spud’s bathroom. She’s in charge of cleaning her bathroom every Saturday and she does an okay job, but she seems to think that the cleaner she sprays on the tub and shower should do all the work and that she shouldn’t need to provide any elbow grease. As a result, her tub tends to be somewhat grimy. She does an excellent job of cleaning the toilet each week, but doesn’t clean the underside of the toilet, or behind the toilet, and there was a ton of dust back there. It took me two applications of Clorox Bathroom Cleaner with Teflon and lots of scrubbing, but now the bathtub is shiny and clean. I also got all the dust behind the toilet (which has probably been accumulating since about this time last year when I was cleaning the house a few days before Thanksgiving) and dusted the baseboards while I was at it. After that some vacuuming and some dusting, and now the upstairs is fit for human habitation once again. Yay! (Of course, now I don’t have to do any real cleaning for a long, lonnnnnnnng time!) Oh, and speaking of cleaning, that reminds me – someone recently asked in my comments how I clean the hardwood floors downstairs to keep them so shiny and clean. Of course, my immediate response is “Are you on drugs???”, but at the moment they are shiny and clean since I just cleaned them yesterday, so I’ll answer the question. After trying all manners of things, all kinds of cleaners formulated especially for hardwood floors but leaves streaks, you know what works the best? Ammonia and hot water. I bet that vinegar and water would work well, too – maybe next time I clean the floors (no doubt sometime in 2004) I’ll give that a try and report back. After cleaning, I ran to the grocery store. I had bought everything on the list except one – ginger ale – and I stood in the soda aisle for a good five minutes, trying like hell to remember what brand of ginger ale Liz drinks. When I just couldn’t remember, I decided to check out, go home, find the note I’d made regarding what kind of ginger ale Liz drinks, and then head for Kroger to pick up a couple of bottles of Light Done Right Blue Cheese dressing for Fred (Publix carries every flavor of Kraft Light Done Right EXCEPT Blue Cheese). And as a side note, see what wonderful hosts we are? If you come visit, we make sure to have your favorite soda in stock so you’ll have something to drink! Once I got to Kroger, I found the salad dressing and a few other things, and finally sucked it up and applied for a Kroger Plus card. As a rule, I think it’s shitty that you have to apply for a card so that you can get the savings – at Publix, you get the same price no matter who you are – but I couldn’t stand the thought of paying 90 cents more for a bottle of dressing just because I didn’t have the fucking card. Also, I saved $2 on a 5-pound bag of clementines and $1 off a 6-pack of water. I checked out using the U-Scan-It aisle, where you (I bet you can’t guess!) scan stuff yourself. I was doing well, had scanned the bottles of salad dressing, when I made the mistake of scanning the 6-pack of water and instead of bagging it, I put it back in my cart. “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAG! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAG!” the automated voice bellowed at me. “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAG!” Apparently there’s some sort of sensor on the thing that sits under the bags and if you don’t put your item on the bag, the system notices and thinks you’re – well, I’m not sure what the problem is, exactly. I guess they want to have all your items in bags and not in the cart so they can see that you’ve scanned everything. The cashier in charge of keeping an eye on that aisle finally came over and fixed the problem, but not before everyone in the store turned to stare at the freak who was causing the automated voice to have a temper tantrum.
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Okay, help me out, y’all. What the hell are those things called that pop up on the top of your tongue and kind of look like a tastebud has popped? Because I swear to god that for the last week I’ve had one every single day. They last for about a day and then go away, but pop up in another spot. I have one in the middle of my tongue right now and it’s DRIVING ME FUCKING NUTS. If you have any idea what the damn things are caused (I’ve only ever gotten them on the top of my tongue), let me know in the comments so I can do a search and see if there’s some important vitamin or mineral I’m missing in my daily diet that’s causing the damn things.
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There’s a tornado warning going on right now and I have channel 19 on (one touched down in South Huntsville, it appears). Dan Satterfield – the weather guy – just asked someone to stop his wife from leaving the studio. I don’t know why that amuses me so much. For the record, Saturday was 14 years since an F4 tornado touched down and did some serious damage in South Huntsville.
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Okay, that’s it for today. I’m in the middle of making a double batch of red beans and rice (we’re going to freeze half the batch and have the other half for dinner Thursday) and I need to go slice turkey kielbasa while I’m watching Dr. Phil. I don’t expect that I’m going to have the chance to update for the rest of the week, but if I can, I will. I may put up a cat-picture entry tomorrow before I leave for the airport. So basically, I’ll see you when I see you. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! 🙂
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I sure do love that cat.
A year ago: I think that everyone there had a little cartoon question mark over their head, ’cause I sure as shit did. Three: Thanks, y’all, for your emails regarding hamster sex.]]>

26 thoughts on “2003-11-18”

  1. If the tongue things are white…we call them cankers here in the North East. And, unless they are really bad, they usually last about a day.
    =)

  2. I get those white bumps, too. I think that they are called acid bumps, but I might be wrong. I always get them when I’m not drinking enough water. I have one right now, as a matter of fact…hmp…better drink more water!

  3. I was told that they are ‘lie bumps’ when you tell a lie you’ll get a sore little white bump on your tongue, and I’ll be damnned if every time I tell a little white lie to my mom, the next day my tongue has a bump!!!!!!!!
    So stop lyin’! 🙂 I’m joking of course, and I don’t know what they are REALLY caused by or from or wahtnot, but I will be keeping an eye on your comments to get the answer! 🙂

  4. i’ve always just heard that they are caused by a “vitamin definciency”, but that probably doesn’t help a lot, since i don’t know what kind of vitamin you may be deficient in. i’m dubious, though, because i subsist on mostly potato products and beer, and i don’t take vitamins, and i haven’t had one in ages.

  7. I have heard they are like canker sores and that they come from stress. Maybe to do with the anticipation of your company arriving and all the extra goings on ?!?!?
    Or I am just a goober who knows nothing… 😉

  8. It’s a canker sore caused by too much acid (oranges, tomatoes and the likes). They can be painful at first but don’t usually last too long.
    Although maybe they are caused by too much cleaning because I haven’t had one in a looooooooooooooooooonggggggg time!!

  10. I always get them after I burn my tongue. I’ve always called them tongue zits, though I know that’s not a real term for them.

  11. Man, what a HUGE variety of responses! Okay…here is my two cents. I get them, usually on the tip or sides, from biting my tongue or from hot foods (temp hot, not spicy hot).
    I had my dentist look at one once but he called it something technical and told me not to worry about it and therefore I have ceased to even give them much thought when they recur.

  12. I always thought they were dead tastebuds. My friend calls them raised tastebuds. I used to get them bad. They would get huge, sore and would turn from white to yellow or worse. Once at the worse stage, I was desparate and I used a cuticle scissors to cut it off my tongue. It bled for about 2 secs and it was gone with all the pain. I’ve cut them off ever since. I haven’t died yet or even gotten sick so it must be ok to do it.

  13. I *loathe* those self-checkout lanes. They’re always bitching at me. Last time I tried to use one was *the* last time I plan to use one until they get better. One of the things I bought was a tube of Carmex, and it kept bitching at me to put it in the bag until someone came over to help me. Then it bitched at me because I was bagging things in an order that made sense to me and all but accused me of stealing stuff. I was pissed.
    I get a new Kroger card every six months or so and make up all the information on the application form so as to hopefully foil their ability to spy on what I buy.
    D’you think the inability to scrub is a teenager thing? My stepdaughter can’t seem to get a tub clean to save her life – she’ll tell me it’s as clean as she could get it, and when I ask if she scrubbed she’ll say she did. Then when I demonstrate actual scrubbing and the tub starts to come clean, she’s all amazed at my cleaning prowess 🙂

  14. Oh my gosh, Val, your post made me squirm. OUCH!
    And Robyn, start stocking up on Diet Coke, girlfriend. But then again, I know that’s your favorite too, so you’ll be prepared when I knock on your door.

  16. I get those bumps all the time, too, and I always thought they were just infected taste buds. I get them when I eat/drink something that is too hot.
    I LOVE those self-checkouts. FYI – they have scales where the bags are and that’s why you have to put your items in the bags right after you scan it. The machine knows how much that item weighs and keeps a running total, then compares it to how much weight is actually sitting on the scale. That’s how it can keep track of what is there. It’s also the reason if you have a very light item (like a greeting card) that it isn’t heavy enough to register and typically the cashier has to help.

  17. Okay, go to the store and stock up on Mr Clean’s Magic Erasers. They are heavenly. You get them wet and they clean up all kinds of things with no chemicals. They are awesome on soap scum, dirty marks on walls, cabinets, frigerators. They even take crayon off the wall. Although I think Spud is a tad old for coloring on the walls. 🙂

  18. As another person posted earlier, making up information is the best way to deal with the card issue. I’m currently pretending to be an 18 year old man with 9 children living at “100 main street” in Tulsa….but of course, I’ve never been west of St. Louis in “real life”. *wink*

  19. A search on “canker sores” suggested that I could be running a little low on Iron and Vitamin B. Since I stopped taking my multi-vitamin last week (the iron was making me a tad constipated), that very well be. I’ll have to go back to a multi-vitamin and up my fiber intake to counteract the iron. Thanks, y’all!
    Patty – basically the cost is holding me back so far, but I’m fairly confident that sooner or later I’ll be owning a TiVo! 🙂
    Val – OUCH!!!!!!
    Laurie – I’m all set, come on over! 🙂
    Okay, it’s late. I’m going to bed!

  20. My two cents agree with them being canker sores …caused by one of the host of reasons as suggested by your readers. Stress …too much acidic food etc. There are lotions and potions that will cost you anywhere from 5 bucks to 20 …but a teaspoon of salt in a 1/2 cup of warm water rinsed thoroughly in your mouth – at least 30 seconds – will speed up the already quick recovery from one.

  21. My goodness – I’ve never heard of these things on your tongue, maybe it’s a US phenomenon. I’ll do an informal survey on my Australian and UK friends and find out if they get them too! Val, as for cutting them off – I can’t work out whether you’re crazy or a medical pioneer.
    Eat your vitamins and drink water instead of acid, people!!!

  22. Awwww.. Poor Miz Poo! Poor little dead kitty! I think your little expolding cancer sores are from killing little kitties. Seriously though Robyn, they can also be from eating sour candies, gargle with sea salt water every 2 – 4 hours for a day and they will dissappear.
    Have a great turkey weekend!

  24. In the UK we call them ulcers (but not the bad kind of ulcer, like a stomach ulcer!) And we have bonjela for them, it tastes of licorice and makes them go away, it is also good for teething babies, or any hurty mouth type things.

  25. They are cootie infections caused by, of course, cooties. I think you are getting them from kissing Fred because boys have cooties. Actually, I don’t know what they are because I’ve never had them. I’ll look in some of my science books to see if I can find something similar. They sound like small ulcers from the way you describe them.

  26. My family always called those little white bumps ‘lie bumps’ too. I’ve never heard them called anything else. I get them all the time….usually from eating something tart like sweet tarts or something. I can vouch for the cutting them off with fingernail clippers. It hurts like hell the second you do it, but then all the pain from the bump is gone. I usually only do that when they’re *really* bad though.
    Did they show Average Joe at a different time or something? I usually Tivo it and I didn’t get it on Monday either, so it must have conflicted with something else I record.

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