Tracy. (Another Tracy, not my brother Tracy. But I love him, too!)
* * *
So last night we were sitting in front of the TV watching
Joe Schmo, which by the way is pretty damn funny (the first hour of it, at least – we taped the second hour, which we’ll watch tonight) because they found the biggest schmo in all of America to be the sucker who doesn’t know that the “reality show” he’s on is no reality show. Anyway. We were watching the show, and it went to commercial. A trailer for
The Order came on.
“Is that Heath Ledger?” Fred asked. I confirmed that it was.
“Hey!” I said as
Shannyn Sossamon‘s face flashed on the screen and then the trailer ended. “That’s… that girl.” I thought hard. “What’s the movie that Heath Ledger was in as a knight?”
“Uh.
A Knight’s Tale,” Fred said distantly.
“Yeah, she was the girl in
A Knight’s Tale!” I said. No answer from Fred. “You know, the girl? The love interest?” Again silence. Birds chirped in the distance.
I finally looked over at Fred, who was staring at the TV screen, his eyes glazed over, his mouth hanging open, a thin string of drool stretching from his lower lip. I looked at the screen to see what had him so fixated, and saw a commercial.
A
Just for Men commercial. As it ended, Fred came out of his trance, swallowing and wiping the drool from his lip. He blinked and turned his head to see me staring at him.
“Huh?” he said.
I guess Spike TV really IS television for men.
* * *
Lately, we have been using a certain line from
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back almost constantly. Yesterday in the car, we were discussing Amazon and their way of ordering that drives us crazy, and how their ranking system makes no sense, and also the way we’ve sent them, like, 50 books and they claim to have sold 3 and have only 8 in stock, and really nothing about it makes sense to us.
“Fuck ’em,” I said, which is my standard response to most anything these days. “Just fuck ’em.”
“That’s right,” Fred said.
“THEY are the ones – “I began.
“who are the ball-lickers!” he finished.
Yep. We’re dorks.
* * *
While I’d like to take the credit for coming up with “a nice big hot steaming cup of shut the fuck up”, it was reader Belinda who sent me
this picture, which made me desperate to use the line. She said she saw it and immediately thought of me.
I can’t imagine why…
* * *
I know that I’ve bitched about Staples plenty of times, so here’s a story about how they rock.
I ordered a new chair mat online from Staples because the one I have has cracked and has pieces of plastic sticking up which impede my progress from one side of the mat to the other side of the mat. Because my chair has rollers on the bottom, and I am a rolling fool.
Fred wrote
about the last time I bought a new chair mat. Read it to the end; re-reading it had me laughing so hard I cried.
So I ordered the new chair mat, and yesterday as I was doing something which escapes me at the moment (something important, I’m sure), my cell phone rang. I answered it (usually I let it go to voicemail, but I decided to live dangerously for once). It was someone from Staples’ customer service letting me know that the mat I’d ordered was out of stock and wouldn’t be in for 2 – 3 weeks. He went on to tell me that there was a similar mat available, and I agreed that it would be fine to substitute that mat for the one I’d ordered, because I’m not picky about that sort of thing.
And then he said they’d waive the delivery fee, because the one I’d ordered wasn’t in stock.
Staples rocks.
* * *
Spanky’s sexy cheesecake pose.
The happiest! kitty! in the world!
Spot, right before he turned tail and ran for the cat door, because he is of the impression that he’s not supposed to be outside. I have no idea why he has this impression, and I always tell him he’s fine, he can stay out, but he always freaks out anyway.
Previously
2002: When married characters are that cruel to each other, all you can think is, “Why the hell are they married if they hate each other so much?”
2001: Gatlinburg pictures!
2000: No entry.]]>