And then, Fred turned to me and said “The hiking is about to get hard, but remember – it’ll only last about a quarter of a mile.”
“Oh, really,” I snapped, because I’d JUST been thinking “This trail has its difficult spots, but overall, not a bad hike!”
“A quarter of a mile,” I said. “Is that ALL?”
A quarter of a mile is VERY VERY LONG if you’re doing a hard trail, let me tell you. Maybe not for you experienced hikers, but for people who really prefer to sit on their asses on the couch, it’s hell. And I have my doubts as to whether or not the hard part was only a quarter of a mile, because it went on and on and on and ON, and I had to keep stopping and bending over to gasp some air into my lungs, while Fred just kept on going like a fucking mountain goat.
I said “I hate you” many, many times on this hike, let me tell you.
At one point, Fred said “We just have a little further!”, and I gasped “First of all, I HATE YOU. Second of all, I can see the top of this hill. Is that where it ends, or does it go on?” and he said “Uh. Well, no, it goes on a little more.”
And then I killed him.
No, actually, what I did was growl “GIVE ME THE CAMERA”, and he did. Then I said “Get your ass back down the hill to the last tree I can see from here, so I can take a picture and show all my readers how HATEFUL you are.” And he did, and I did.
The picture does NOT do the hill justice. It was WAY FUCKING HILLIER than it appears in that picture, believe you me. And after I’d taken the picture, do you know what the hateful bastard did? He RAN back up the hill, and he was NOT even breathing hard when he got back to me.
He is a hateful, evil motherfucker.
We finally finally FINALLY got to O’Shaughnessy Point, where there are benches for resting upon, and the path from there to the parking lot is nice and flat and easy (it’s the same path I went on to get back to the car last Saturday when Fred and I split up to meet back at the parking lot), and so we sat on a bench while I caught my breath and drank some water.
Fred: “What hill?”
Robyn: “I hate you.”
We split up again so Fred could go on a hard hike and I could take the easy path back to the parking lot. It took most of the way back to the parking lot before I felt like I had finally caught my breath and could breathe easily.
So on the way home, I said to Fred “That was NOT a step above last week’s hike. That was like TEN STEPS above last week’s hike!” and then we had to have a discussion about what hike we’d done last Wednesday, because he couldn’t remember.
Sunday morning I woke up, and my ass muscles were VERY sore. Which is good, because that means I worked out some new muscles, I guess.
Tonight we’re supposed to go for an “easy” hike. Which probably means it’ll be ten miles straight uphill the entire way.
I hate that fucker. Good thing for him he’s so damn cute, is all I have to say.
* * *
When we got home from hiking, rather than taking a shower and a long nap, I had to finish cleaning the house in preparation for Fred’s parents’ visit. The thing that most needed cleaning was the hardwood floors in the entryway, hallway, and dining room. The last time I mopped them, I used a vinegar and hot water solution, and the floors looked HORRIBLE. I did some looking around online, and found that rather than using a wet mop, what I should have done was used a barely damp mop. Some more research, and I found a cleaning solution recipe for hardwood floors, and I decided to give it a try.
The cleaning solution is water, ammonia, rubbing alcohol, and a bit of dishwashing liquid. It was strikingly similar to the recipe for the solution I use in spray bottles for cleaning the kitchen, the litter box, and basically whatever else needs to be sprayed and wiped down.
The recipe is
here.
When I was at Target last week, I bought a handful of microfiber cleaning rags, and so I got down on my hands and knees, sprayed the floor with the cleaning solution, and then wiped it up with microfiber cloths. I’m not crazy about getting down on my hands and knees to clean, so when it came time to do the dining room floor, I got my Swiffer out, and put the microfiber cloths in the Swiffer. And it worked like a CHARM. My floors haven’t looked this good in quite some time. They’re shiny, streak- and smudge-free, and even the cats with their wet little paws haven’t made the floors look bad in the past two days.
It’s a cleaning miracle!
* * *
The spud left for California yesterday morning. She got there with no problems at all, and she’ll be spending the next few weeks in California, then fly to Rhode Island to spend time with her father and his wife.
The house is oddly quiet.
* * *
Currently
reading:
Holidays on Ice, by David Sedaris.
Recently finished:
The Husband, by Dean Koontz. I think this is the first time in my life I’ve finished a Dean Koontz book in one day. Usually it takes several days of reading, since his books tend to be so long, but this one was a fast read – and I really, really liked it a lot.
* * *
I fail to see how this could possibly be comfortable.
“What?”
“Duh?”
Go be petted, or run and hide? Run and hide, or be petted? SUCH a dilemma.
All of today’s uploaded pictures are
hither.
* * *
Previously
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Then, I stopped and thought about it, which hurt a little.
2002: I was an errand-running fool today.
2001: You always know you’re going to have a nice, clean system the next day if you’ve eaten you a big ol’ helpin’ of okra.
2000: Oh, that’s right. That was my bright idea.]]>
Are mountain bikers allowed on those trails? That looks like a beautiful single track!
Fred is, indeed, cute. That may be the second time I have said that in your comments. I swear I’ll never mention it again.
Also–on the steep trail not looking that steep in the picture? I’ve taken pictures like that before too, and it always pisses me off. Steepness doesn’t photograph well, I guess.
I’ve been reading your blog for quite a while, and have never commented before, but i knew I had to chime in when you said you were reading ‘Holidays on Ice.’ Sedaris’ essay about being an elf at Macy’s is one of my favorite things in the whole world…especially the line about a woman asking him which of the two lines was the line for the ladies’ room, and he replies that its probably the one with all the women in it.
The first time i read that like i guffawed. literally. snorted and laughed till my ab muscles hurt. i’m giggling now just thinking about it. I think I’ll go read it again.
Hope you enjoy it! I don’t know if you ever listen to books on tape, but his latest “Dress your Family in Corduory and Denim” is (mostly) very funny, and he reads it all himself. You can get it on iTunes.
Hey? When did Fred start hiking with ASHLEY JUDD?
OK. I’ve almost stopped reading Fred’s journal because of all those pictures of those damn slithery things. Now, you’ve started! I have such a slithery phobia, I can’t even type the name, let alone look at a picture. Please, please, please! No more slitheries!
Hiking! Way to go, Robyn! And by the way, you and Fred BOTH look cute in that picture!
I second Christy’s note about “Holidays on Ice” — I also loved “Dinah the Christmas Whore”.
BTW, it looks like you’re gritting your teeth really really hard in that picture of you and Fred… and I don’t blame you.
You two look so cute in your hiking pic!
Question: Does the hardwood recipe have water, too? You mentioned water, and I just wondered how much. Ours need a good cleaning!
Uh, your entry kind of begs the question…what did his parents have to say? I thought you’d seen them off an on over the past few months.
Ladybug: They’re allowed on some of the trails – I’m not sure about that particular one, though. We see mountain bikers all the time when we’re out hiking.
Christy: I am VERY much enjoying the David Sedaris book. And I’ve listened to “Me Speak Pretty One Day” and “Dress Your Family” on audiobook. Not only is he an amazing writer, he’s got a good voice for reading, too. When I was listening to his books, I laughed out loud constantly. Which I’m sure made me look like the town crazy person, walking along laughing!
Karen: Hee!
Elaine: I doubt there’ll be many more slithery things in my journal, but I’ll post a warning at the top if I do! 🙂
Bozoette Mary: Oh, I’m sure I was! 🙂
Tamara: Yeah, there’s water, too. It’s a pint of rubbing alcohol, 1/2 tsp of dishwashing liquid, and 1/2 cup non-sudsy ammonia, put in a 1-gallon container and filled the rest of the way with water.
Laurie: No, we haven’t seen them since Christmas. And they both said that I looked good, and his stepmother really liked my hair. As they were leaving, they told me again that I looked good. They didn’t make a big fuss, for which I was grateful, ’cause that would have felt weird for some reason!
You look great, Robyn. 🙂
How is it your hair still looks cute after a hike with Fred the Merciless? I must get my hair cut like yours!
p.s. – love the snake!
My husband is hateful too. I was so proud of myself for increasing my walk from 4 miles to 6…so he went out and RAN 14 miles. Bastard.
My Gawd woman you are looking mighty fine!!! Such a cute, ACTIVE couple you are you are!
BTW that hair cut really suits you!
i once lived in a total shithole apartment that had really scarred horrid hardwood floors and the landlady was really stingy and didn’t care whappened as longas they were still in one piece. i did a bit of research and discovered that there was this system of floor chemicals you could buy for like $200.00, but the ingredients were almost identical in chemical makeup(sometimes it’s cool to have geeks for friends!)to mop-n-glo. the mop-n-glo bottle specifically says, “DO NOT USE ON HARDWOOD FLOORS” but they shined like a bitch when i was finished. i moved shortly after. i wonder if it did something bad to the floors!
I second the thought that you’re both way cute in that pic. Would it be rude to ask if you’d post that old pic of the two of you on vacation (in Florida?) years ago? I just think it would make one heck of a “Dayum!” progress pic!
Shayne: Let me see if I can find it!
Lee: I wonder if they say not to use mop-n-glo because of the build-up? Does mop-n-glo build up? Or maybe they just want you to spend the $200! 🙂
Lisa: No jury in the country would convict you of killing a man who does that!
Aly in GA: It’s the cut that makes it look good, not the person wearing the hair. 🙂 I know I ran my hands through my hair about a thousand times on that uphill hike, I’m surprised it wasn’t standing straight out!
So,whatcha gonna do while the Spud’s away ??
Robyn, you are absolutely correct about the haircut making the difference. I wanted to tell you the day you posted the first pic that it looked fantabulous on you, and is, in fact, the best haircut I’ve seen on you yet, but there were so many others that there was no need. However, for that haircut to still look good after sweating your proverbial balls off and running your hands through it over and over again, well, it should tell you something! Love the cut!
Looking good Robyn. I know you’ll find some way to enjoy your time alone with the Spud out of town! hee hee…..Nanamama 🙂
Robyn, just so you know, I’m not usually that stupid. I realized after I read your reply that your recipe SAYS to put the ingredients into a gallon of water. I need to work on my attention-paying skills.
Thanks for not pointing that out to me or calling me “Dumbass” (although I might have enjoyed that a little, now that I think about it!)