Holy crap, how’d it get to be June already???
New month, new banner! This one was created by the lovely Christine, who was kind enough to give poor Aly a break.
Thanks, Christine – you rock!
(And of course, anyone who’s feeling creative and wants to make a banner and send it this way, I’m always appreciative!)
Friday morning, after I was done cleaning cages at the pet store, I stopped by Target to pick up a few things, and then I headed into Madison to visit Kohl’s. I am finding that I really have very little in the way of decent looking clothes to get me through the summer. I don’t have a job, so my daily uniform tends to be along the lines of shorts and oversized t-shirts, but I’d like to have one or two outfits that I can throw on and wear when we’re running errands or whatever, without worrying that I have a big stain down the front of my shirt, or that I look like a slob in my shorts.
Kohl’s has a large selection of clothes, so I thought it might take me a while, but surely I could find something that would work, right?
I dove right in, walking through and picking up pants to try on, and then trying them on. Interestingly enough, I only had to try on about six pairs of capris to come to the conclusion that Dockers brand pants in Curvy fit are the ones that work for me. I didn’t stop there – I probably tried on another ten or so pairs of pants and capris before I narrowed it down to three capris and one dark-blue pair of pants.
And then, I decided to go try on bras. I have lately had an issue with my bras, in that they are FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE and I think the reason they’re so goddamn uncomfortable is because I only wear my bras once before washing them, and such wearing, washing, and drying tends to make a bra break down more quickly than you’d think.
(That’s my thesis, anyway.)
So I decided I’d try on a bunch of bras and see if I couldn’t find one that would work for me. I wandered through the bra section, and I dug through the bras, and would you believe that 36DDD bras are not a common in-stock bra size? Somehow, that still manages to surprise me, I know not why. I managed to find about six bras in varying sizes to try on, and then I went around the corner to the maternity section, and I parked my shopping cart next to the changing room doorway, and I took the bras and my purse into the changing room, and I began the laborious and unhappy task of trying on bras.
None of the bras worked for me – which is about what I expected – and so I got dressed again and grabbed my purse, left the bras on the “dressing room items” rack, and reached for my cart.
And it wasn’t there.
My immediate reaction was that a diligent Kohl’s worker had come along, straightening up the Maternity section, and taken my cart away. Then I looked around and saw that the capris and pants that had been in the cart had been tossed over a nearby rack.
Some fucking assfaced motherfucker could not be bothered to haul her fucking ass to the front of the store (an arduous 30-second hike), saw my cart sitting there, tossed my items on a nearby rack, and hustled off.
I was ENRAGED. If there had been any way on earth I could tell WHICH assfaced motherfucker had taken my cart, I would have stomped over to her and I would have pulled that fucking cart away from her, and I would have given her WHAT FOR.
GODDAMN THAT PISSES ME OFF. I spend ten minutes struggling in and out of bras that DO NOT FIT, I glare at myself in the mirror and feel fatter and flabbier and more hideous by the moment, and then I come out of the dressing room to find that some assfaced motherfucker has STOLEN MY CART.
This is why it’s a good thing I’m not licensed to carry a gun.
(Later, when I said that to Fred, he said “You wouldn’t have done anything. You would have just quietly seethed.” And I said “Apparently you’ve never had to go shopping for bras. You have no idea how close to the surface the rage was. Is.”)
So I grabbed my capris and pants, and I went and checked out and went home, fuming all the way.
Saturday morning, Fred and I got up and got going early. We headed for Madison to attend the Rummage Sale to benefit the Madison Animal Rescue Foundation. There was a TON of stuff there (and we got there just after it started, and there were a ton of people already there, too!). We ended up getting a bunch of hardcover books, an “as seen on TV” dryer lint removal kit, a basket that will become a cat bed when I get around to making a cushion to go inside it, and… I think that’s it. All for less than $10!
There was a lot of furniture there, including couches and love seats. If we’d had any place to put another couch, I would have wanted to buy one of them, it was in such good shape! I had hoped to see a nice comfy chair that I could put in the kitten room (since anyone who goes in there now has to sit on the floor), but there was nothing. Ah well – that just gives me something to look for in the future when we drive past yard sales, right?
We ran home, got the truck, and went to the dump. Stopped at Tractor Supply and the grocery store on the way home, and then Fred spent the day working outside and I…. do not recall what on earth I did.
I’m sure it was fascinating.
Yesterday morning I got up before 6:00, as I was awakened by the Tom Cullen alarm clock. Most mornings Tommy leaves me alone and lets me sleep, but some mornings he is apparently filled with the spirit and has to come tell me how much he loves me. This takes the form of stomping around on the bed, kneading vigorously on the bed, and eventually kneading vigorously on my arm with his entire body weight behind each and every knead (and Tommy is NOT a small cat), with his claws fully extended.
When I respond to his advances by reaching out to pet him, his immediate reaction is fall over flat on his back with all four legs straight up in the air. Yesterday morning, he looked exactly like a dead and bloated armadillo laying there, and I laughed so hard at the thought that there was no way I was going to be able to get back to sleep.
I got up, got dressed, gave the kittens their morning dose of Slippery Elm Bark (kitten diarrhea is the bane of my existence. They get here, they’re perfectly fine, then four or five days later they start up with the diarrhea. It’s just as fun as it sounds, complete with having to give them baths because they ALWAYS tromp through it. Why? WHY????), gave them some love, and then headed out to do some weeding.
I weeded for an hour and got about a third of the second row of tomatoes weeded before Fred came out to tell me it was 7:30. I pruned a couple of tomato plants, then went inside to shower and get dressed. Lowe’s opens at 8 on Sundays, and Fred likes to get there right when they open. We went to Lowe’s, bought a new cat fence transformer (the one we had wasn’t working right), bought a new grill (the old one was rusted through), and a few gardening supplies for me. We swung by the grocery store to pick up some salad and potatoes, and then came home.
Fred worked outside all day, I puttered around the house, spent time with the kittens, and puttered around some more.
It was a really nice weekend – sunny and warm (got up well into the 80s yesterday!), and things are finally starting to dry out around here. Today’s supposed to be sunny and warm again, so I’m headed out to do some more weeding, and after that perhaps I’ll do some laundry!
“This fuzzy-ball-on-a-spring toy is mine. Do you hear me, MINE!” (She looks so earnest!)
The thing about Dwight that I love the most (aside from the fact that he’s always bouncing around playing like a wild thing) is that his ears tip forward just slightly at the end. ADORABLE.
Look at the little smile on her face!
Dancing monkey.
“Hey! Get away! It’s MY turn to pick on him!”
Dance, monkey, dance!
Cat, she’s a kittycat. And she dancedancedance and she dancedancedance.
Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: Damn gardeners, always laying down on the job.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: It’s just a good thing the air traffic controller didn’t start talking about the plane’s phalanges.
2003: Anatomy of a Smackdown
2002: No entry.
2001: Lovely ‘do, eh?
2000: I don’t want to sound like a nosy know-it-all.
That happens to me all the time at Wal-Mart. You can’t take anything in the bathroom with you so you have to park it outside. About half the time when I come back out my cart is gone. It is maddening.
WTF is wrong with people they cannot find their own damn cart? Lazy fuckers.
This fucking assfaced motherfucker didn’t get to Kohl’s until after 2 p.m. yesterday afternoon, so it wasn’t me. (And when I finally gave up hauling around a set of king sheets, standard pillowcases, two pairs of pants and a pair of capris, a 3/4 sleeve blouse and a box of shoes, I went UP FRONT to get a cart.) Because that slim wallet Robert added to the load would have killed me. 😀
I think that’s why women shop in pairs. To keep the cart from getting stolen, or to hold a dressing room for an unnaturally long period of time.
I had the cart thing happen at Target once. They make you leave it outside, and you can only take in 6 items at a time. So, usually I leave about half of what I’m trying on in the cart (usually the same clothes in the next size up. If the ones I have don’t fit, I know I can buy the others usually).
So anyhoo, in this case, I left the additional items in the cart, the girl told me to park it in a particular place, and I went in. When I came out, the cart was gone, I asked where it was and she just looked stupid, like she had no idea and hadn’t been sitting right there for the whole 10 or so minutes I was in the dressing room.
I was pissed, mainly because I wanted to buy a particular shirt and they whisked away the size I needed, leaving me with the one that didn’t fit. When they could offer no explination and the clothes had not yet gone back to the rack, I just dumped what I had on the counter, told them thanks but no thanks because they took my cart and the size I was actually going to buy, and left. Not to mention, I had other items in that cart from other departments that I needed (some cleaning supplies, crap from the dollar section, you know…)
They must get away with cart stealing a lot, because they looked flabbergasted that someone would be annoyed over it. I hate getting bitchy about anything because I wouldn’t want someone to be bitchy to me, but when something is just obviously an act of carelessness and/or stupidity and not a plain old accident, then I get annoyed.
I hate that whole cart theft thing too. Some people are just the laziest assholes. When I worked in a ladies dept. in a store we saw some interesting fights over carts. Once a woman took a blouse out of another woman’s cart-and it was the only one like it. Some women will kill over an item of clothing. The clerks try to stay clear of the fights-let the manager handle it-that’s why they get paid more money. Working in the men’s dept. was easier because straight men just don’t care about clothes like women do. I used to measure the men for sleeve length but I drew the line at inseams. How can an adult not know that-you stopped getting taller a long time ago. I like to shop alone because it’s quicker-I love craft shows and thrift shops but I guess 18 yrs in retail took the magic out of regular stores for me. I just want to get in and get out quickly.
The new kittens are too adorable for words.
I got a newsletter from Janet Evanovich’s website-she just got a new dog and his name is Ollie. Must be a popular male dog name.
Robin, I don’t know how you wash your bras but you aren’t sticking them in the dryer, are you?
Thank God you got another cat bed. You should be ashamed of yourselves for not providing any beds for your furbots.
I have not run into the cart thing but I think it is because I usually just get the things in my size and if they don’t fit I can just take them back. My Target is like 5 minutes from the house. My favorite thing to do is at the grocery. I leave my keys in my car in the garage. If Dave drives and is waiting in the car I go into the grocery without the key fob secret grocery club discount card that is on the key fob. So I get done with my shopping and just about get in line when I realize I don’t have the card and without it my groceries will cost approx. 50% more. So I leave the cart and run ourside to get the keys from Dave. So far my luck has held but I am sure one of these days I will get back inside the store and all my groceries will have been put back.
I think I would lose my shit if someone took off with my cart. I guess I look to mean for anyone to mess with or I don’t have anything interesting in my cart.
Gorgeous weather in Indy except for the pesky tornados and hail on Saturday night.
Thanks for the I am a Kitty cat ear worm. That one is gonna be in my head all day.
By the way, what is your opinion about the whole Jon and Kate disaster? I only knew about them from reading your blog. And watching The Soup.
In forty years I don’t think I’ve ever had the cart stealing thing happen to me, and it never once crossed my mind to do that to someone else.
Surprisingly, I have never, ever had my cart stolen. But, then, I haven’t shopped alone in years.
Another problem I’m reading about is people taking stuff out of others’ carts. I’ve decided that if someone does this to me I will literally SCREAM at them. I’m old and do not get embarrassed anymore.
Apparently, shopping these days involves more than just minding my own business and getting it over with. It’s a constant battle out there.
Can you further discuss the pruning of the tomato plants? I’ve been the caretaker of the tomato plants for a couple of years now, but other than weeding and a few shots of Miracle Grow I don’t do much else, but if you advocate pruning then I can prune – I’d just like a primer because without one I’d likely hack off something important.
I once had some sets of the Gilligan & O’Malley 3-pack cotton underwear (regular bikini style – different patterns/stripes on each pair) in my cart and I left the cart to dodge down the shoe aisle to look at something. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a male teenager pick up my underwear out of the cart and say something like, “Sexy…you should get some of these” to his girlfriend. I was mortified. But at least he didn’t steal my cart.
Ah, the Tom Cullen alarm. I have an Amber Alert alarm. She has decided that 6:30am is prime ball throwing/fetching time and she will Not Rest until I have thrown that damn ball. Yes, she is part dog (actually, the vet thinks she is at least 1/2 Maine Coon which is kinda the same as dog).
Chip does the rollover armadillo thing when he wants loving too. Also rotates his head to nearly upside down while cooing. Dang, it’s cute!
I satellite shop all the time because people are stupid and wander around in a daze with their carts akimbo so it’s quicker for me to stash my cart and zoom off to get whatever and bring it back. The only trouble I’ve ever had is when I forget where I’ve parked the cart; no one has ever taken it. That said, one day I was shopping at Sam’s Club and doing the satellite thing but when I came back, the cart was gone. I knew I had parked it RIGHT THERE! but no cart. Then I noticed some ‘fucking assfaced motherfucker’ wheeling around with a cart that had my two or three things in it. I stalked her cart steeling butt until she wasn’t looking, then I thieved my cart back! Ha!
When I caught up with my husband, I was all “I’m a rebel! Bitch thought she could thieve my cart but I DON’T THINK SO!… … …Uh…babe? Why do you have a cart with my stuff in it too?” Turns out my husband took the cart without telling me and some poor lady had put exactly the same two items in her cart as I had in mine. Whoops.
I give my adult cats a dose of pumpkin – canned “Pure” pumpkin, with no spices. Cures the runs and constipation. I assume it would be good for kittens too.
Boo- that is the funniest thing. I am laughing my way through my horrible work meeting. On mute of course. Thanks so much. That is just so frickin’ funny.
I forgot to mention your new banner-It is the best one yet. I love sparkly things!
I know how you feel, I had that cart thing happen at Target once. I was buying school supplies and it had a lot in there. So I even had to reinventory which made me madder. The nerve of some people. Makes you want to do all your shopping online.
About your cart-stealing “person:” I’m surprised how people manage to get through life being so clueless. I would not have the nerve to take someone’s stuff out of their cart and throw it somewhere. Could they have, oh, I don’t know, gotten the cart when they first came in the store?
It’s too bad you didn’t come out and catch her (him?) in the act. Now THAT would have been a great entry! 😀
Hahahaahahaha…. oh that was so funny Boo!! I ran right off and added you to my Google reader!
Any good news on Bessie and Beulah or did I just miss it somewhere? Have anymore pics of George and Gracie? I just want to come visit and hug & hug & hug those big fluff balls. They are so sweet looking.
I feel for you on the bra topic. Absolutely no one in my town sells a size 32DDD, so I always have to order online, and it ends up costing like $60 for one freaking bra. I seethe also.
Robyn,
I followed your link to “Cat,I’m a Kittycat” and I truly laughed out loud. Thanks!!