* * *
Reason number 69,298,984 why I married that man:
We were laying bed talking last night, and I said something of a sexual-innuendo nature, and waited for Fred to say something. There was a long, lengthy silence. I assumed he was looking for something smartass to say, and then I started to wonder if he’d fallen asleep. Finally, I turned to face him.
“Are you there, Margaret?” I said.
And with no hesitation whatsoever and a voice filled with wonder, he said “God?”
That man sure can make me laugh.
* * *
Thirty minutes later, the goddamn cat still hasn’t shat. Every single other day of the week, she shits like every ten seconds. Today, she can’t be bothered. “Yeah, no, sorry. I don’t gotta go. Pardon me while I bite at the ears and belly of this feisty little shithead I birthed out of mine own body and who thinks he can kick my ass, mm’kay?”
I love the little bastardly kitties, but they are ripping my legs to shreds. If she doesn’t poop AND SOON, I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Send happy poopin’ thoughts this way, if you would.
* * *
I just got extremely excited by the fact that she went over to the litter box, but she only had to pee out that entire gallon of water she drank an hour ago. Psyche!
Did you know that it’s correctly spelled “Psyche!” and not “Sike!”? No, I’m sorry, I don’t give a happy goddamn what Urban Dictionary says. It’s “psyche.” When you spell it “sike”, you make my eyes bleed.
* * *
1:00 pm and no shit. NO SHIT. I never thought I’d see the day when I was praying for shit.
My butt hurts from sitting on the floor. I stretched out to take a nap but then Oy, who had been sleeping atop the condo with Edgar, came a-visitin’. And then Fred, who brought his car home at 10:30 so he could leave it in the driveway with the doors open in case there actually is a snake in there, so the snake could get out, called to see if it was raining here. It wasn’t, but about three minutes after he called the sky started looking nasty, so I scooped Oy up and took him downstairs and outside with me. He was very good, just sat on my shoulder and looked around.
Miz Poo was sitting on the table when we came back inside, and I bent over so she and Oy could sniff each other. To my amazement, she did NOT hiss. What the hell is up with that?
Perhaps it’s a sign that we need to keep Oy!
(No, not really.)
* * *
I just ran downstairs to close the cat window (it started raining like hell) and uploaded a few kitten pictures so I can get this entry uploaded, and I hoped against hope that Mia had used the litterbox in the five minutes while I was gone, but NO HOPE, DAMNIT.
Peanut’s trying to nurse and Mia keeps pushing him away. Heh. Poor Peanut! Don’t I wish I’d brought my camera back upstairs with me.
Oh crap. Edgar just woke up peeping (which is what I call the little crying noise the kittens make, shaddup), and ran over to Mia, and then Flossie ran out of the carrier where she was sleeping, and Mia flopped over, and now Flossie, Edgar, and Peanut are wildly trying to nurse. Mia’s not happy, but she’s not fighting them off, either.
Damn I wish I had my camera.
Nobody but NOBODY uses the litterbox in Kitten Town without supervision. Sheriff Snoopy makes sure the law is enforced.
They might be tiny little fangs, but they REALLY HURT when they’re being used on your fingers.
Couldn’t you just squeeze him ’til his guts shot out his nose?
Meester Fang strikes again.
Mia checks the cleanliness of Oy’s butt. I think this is the cat version of your mother asking if you’re wearing clean underwear.
Is it just me, or does he kinda look like a bat?
I guess I’m going to go ahead and post this stupid entry. It’s 1:38 and Mia STILL HAS NOT POOPED, DAMNIT.
Send happy poopin’ thoughts to North Alabama, if you would. I’ll see y’all on Monday.
* * *
Spot. He lurves the sun.
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Those kitties have so much energy!
Come on, Mia, you can do it! POOOOOOOOOOOP!!!
Maybe if you massaged her belly something would start movin’ out?
POOP! POOP! POOP!
I prefer to spell it “psych” — “psyche” makes me think of the other psyche, which is pronounced si-kee.
And…
Go Mia! Go Mia! Go Mia! POOP! Go Mia! Go Mia! Go Mia! POOP!
Scooping the litter pan has always done it for me in the past as a way to entice pooping. Figures, doesn’t it? You pray to stop the darn pooping all week and NOW the Poop Gods have finally decided to grant your wish.
Totally unrelated – I cannot wait to hear your take on Vanilla Ice’s performance last night!
What you need Robyn, is Wanda from Survivor Palau to come up with a Poop song for Mia! She’d probably make you a whole cd full of them! Gleefully!
I can see it now….
All You Need is Poop (Beatleesque)
Poop (sung in the tune of Shoop by Salt n Peppa)
You Took the Poop Right Out of My Butt (Meatloaf inspired)
1-2 Poop(Ciara’s 1 2 Step)
Dirty Poopy (Lisa Marie Presley sings Don Henly)
The Poop Goes On (Sonny and Cher)
When Cats Poop (Prince)
Pooping In The Street (Martha Reeves & the Vandellas)
Gimme Some Poop (The Spencer Davis Group)
Baby I Love Your Poop (Peter Frampton)
My Poop Don’t Cost a Thing (JLo)
…..
can you tell I was sitting out in the sun for a while before I wrote this?? LOL
Well, I hope Mia has pooped by now. Maybe pretend to clean the box out? Psyche HER out, heh.
May the God of Poop smile upon you.
Why can’t they stay kittens forever?
That butt-checking picture is too funny! Reminded me of when we got Cat as a tiny baby. Lena hated him with a fierce passion for about three days, then one day she was glaring at him while he used the litter box and after he climbed out, she just kept looking at us like she was thinking, “Well? What is wrong with you people?” After a couple of minutes of that, she apparently decided that we had *no* idea how to take care of a baby and went over and pinned him down to clean his butt. (I was really surprised to see her do that since she’s never had kittens.) After that she apparently decided to like him. Until he got to big for her to win the wrestling game, anyway.
Wishes for poop being sent your way.
That movie was sooo great. It’s like a kitty wrestlemania! Do they do that all day long? I love how Mia just sits there, probably thinking, “dear gawd, what’d I get myself into?”.
Poop wishes are blown yer way!
What is wrong with this picture????
😀
What freaking idiot spells it Sike, anyway?!
LOVED the movie!! What is cuter than a group of kittens playing together?? It’s just what I needed after the week from HELL at work. Thanks!!! And I hope Mia is okay.
Meeher Fang, he beezy.
I actually did set up a webcam once when Darby was really sick. He had a blocked urethra and I was supposed to be making sure he peed regularly. When I had to go to work, I locked him in the bathroom with the webcam aimed at the litterbox and watched via streaming video to make sure he used it throughout the day.
Have you ever seen the site kittenwar.com ? im sure your babies could beat them all!
All right….maybe it’s cuz I am tired, but what’s this about a snake in Fred’s car?? What did I miss?
Sending good healing butt vibes to Mia.
In the dog show world, to get a poop sample, carefully insert just the tip of a well-lubricated Q Tip carefully into the rectum.
Works every time!
I normally don’t have giggle fits at this hour of the morning, but the exchange with Fred STILL has me chuckling.
Oh, and Cutest. Kittens. Ever.
Poop, Poop, Poop,
Poop, Poop, Poop,
Poop for Robyn!
And yes, looks like a bat! 🙂
Hope everything comes out alright. Gee, will miss the kitten pictures after they are adopted. They are so sweet.