So the things I need to work on as far as this site goes:
1. Fix the banner so y’all can see it no matter what size you’re viewing it at (hopefully that’s not beyond my skills!).
2. Add “before” and “after” links to the top of each entry (they were there with the last design, I’m going to have to see if I can figure out how I did that). For the record, if you click on the “comments” link under each entry, way at the bottom under the comments are “before” and “after” links. I know some of you would rather have them at the top too so I’m going to work on that.
3. Fix the colors in the sidebars.
Anything else that jumps out at y’all?
On Saturday, Fred was headed back toward the house after settling the chickens for the evening. It was, shockingly enough, another rainy day and the chickens hadn’t spent much time outside because of it.
They don’t really like to get their feet wet – or rather, I should say they don’t like to have their feet wet for days on end.
As he headed back to the house, he glanced over into the maternity yard and he saw what looked like a chicken, against the fence in the small chicken yard. He stopped and looked. It wasn’t moving, and he decided it must be a clump of leaves caught in the fence, but then decided to go take a closer look, just in case.
It turned out to be a little Rhode Island Red, one of the six week-old ones. The yard is fenced with welded wire, and he ran chicken wire inside that to keep the smallest chicks from getting out. This little one had gotten trapped between the layers of fencing – apparently before the rain – then held there throughout the storm. Worst of all, that part of the fence is right in the middle of the runoff area, so the poor little guy was probably in 4-6 inches of chilly water during the rain and after it.
Fred thought the chicken was dead, and then it blinked.
I was in the kitchen cleaning up after Snackin! Time! when the back door opened and Fred called “I need a box!” I found a cardboard box to hold the chicken, Fred lined the box with paper towels and put the chicken inside, set up the heat lamp, and brought the whole setup into the living room.
When he first brought the chicken inside, it looked pretty much dead. After two hours of sitting under the heat lamp, it was perfectly fine. Fred took it back out to the blue chicken coop, and the next morning we couldn’t even tell which chicken was the one who’d been heated back to life.
You could say the cats were interested.
Mister Boogers was both interested and a bit freaked out. And with a twitch of Fred’s foot…
…this was the result. We laughed ourselves stupid.
Miz Poo was less interested in the chicken and more interested in how she could get under the heat lamp, too.
::perk:: “Hey, guys! What up?”
Bessie was not interested in that chicken at ALL. She just wanted to bite on the corner of the box.
Remember how a few months ago we went up to Amish country and ended up ordering a cabinet to go in the kitchen where the bookcase is?
Sure you do. I wrote about it here.
Well, we thought it’d be mid-summer before the cabinet was finished, so imagine our surprise at the end of April when we received a letter from the man building the cabinet, letting us know that we could come pick it up.
We got the letter on a Saturday – I’m usually right out there checking the mail at 10:00, but on this particular Saturday I didn’t mosey out there ’til early afternoon. Had I checked the mail when I usually do, I probably would have insisted that we go up to Tennessee and get it that very day. We planned to go and get it the following Saturday (this past Saturday), but Fred the Weatherman worried and fretted and pissed Mother Nature off so that it stormed all day long. We knew pretty much as soon as we got up that morning that we weren’t going to go get the cabinet, because although we could wrap it in a tarp, if it was going to rain really hard – and it did – the cabinet would get wet, and it’s raw wood, so we didn’t want that to happen.
So we wrote a letter to the man who’d built the cabinet, apologizing for not showing up, blamed the weather, and told him we’d be up to get it on the next nice day.
We originally thought that we’d go up there Friday, but as the weather patterns changed – and they always do, don’t they? – we decided that yesterday would be our best day to go. Fred left work early, came home, we loaded up the truck with a tarp and a blanket, and we headed for Tennessee.
We got to the furniture shop to find that the man who’d built our cabinet wouldn’t be back ’til after 3 (this was at 2:20), but that his neighbor could help out anyone picking up furniture. We drove to the neighbor’s house, parked in the driveway, and Fred got out to look for the neighbor. Near the barn was tied a young cow, and as Fred walked away from the truck, she walked toward him with great purpose, like she’d been waiting for us to show up. She was adorable, and I wish I’d snapped her picture.
Fred offered the neighbor a ride back over to the furniture shop, and the neighbor hopped into the back of the truck. So of course all the way back to the furniture shop, we worried that Fred would hit a bump really hard, the man would go flying out and hurt himself, and we’d be on the Amish Shit List.
We made it back just fine, and Fred and I unwrapped the tarp and put it in the bed of the truck, then I stood outside and held one side of the tarp down (it was kind of windy), and Fred and the neighbor went inside to figure out which piece of furniture was our cabinet. Fred waved for me to come inside and look at the cabinet, and I went in and I’ll tell you what – that is one SOLID piece of furniture. It was also bigger than I’d expected, and I said “Oh my god! I love it!”
Fred hissed “Don’t say oh my god!” and I turned tail and ran back outside.
The thing that scares me about going up to Amish country is that I’m terrified I’m going to blurt something out and offend someone. I can FEEL the profanities on the tip of my tongue, just ready to be unleashed – “Hell-O, Amish motherfuckers, and how ’bout that goddamn rain!” – and so I do my best to just stand off to the side and keep my stupid mouth shut.
I offended no one this time, in fact I’ve never offended any of the Amish (that I’m aware of), but I can just FEEL it coming one of these days.
While Fred and the neighbor were trying to figure out how they were going to get the cabinet out the door and onto the truck, the furniture shop owner showed up. The two Amish men carried the cabinet out the door onto the truck bed while Fred held the doors of the cabinet closed. We got the tarp and blanket wrapped around the cabinet, tied everything down, and were on our way home.
I didn’t even flash anyone and bellow “I’VE GOT BOOBIES!!!!” or anything.
On the drive home, Fred told me that he was worried we weren’t going to be able to unload the cabinet ourselves, that it was really, really heavy and then he said something like “I think he made it all out of one-bys!”, which are words I do not understand and is probably code for something important.
Fred suggested many ideas for how we could get the cabinet out of the bed of the truck, and every one of them sounded to me like something that would end in the cabinet in pieces on the garage floor. Ultimately, we stopped at the corner store, and Fred went inside and threw himself on the mercy of the store owners and the old men who hang out in the store.
He came outside a minute later with an older gentleman. I got into the back seat of the truck, and we headed for home. We pulled into the driveway and got out of the truck, and I was starting to worry whether the three of us were really going to be able to unload the cabinet, when a truck pulled into the driveway and two teenage boys stepped out.
Secure that the menfolk had it all in hand, I went inside and started dinner. It took the four of them about a minute and a half to lift the cabinet out of the truck and set it in the garage, and then the three of them refused to take any money from Fred for their help.
This living in a small town thing? It kinda rocks.
So the cabinet is standing in the garage for now. Fred’s proclaimed that we must wait ’til the two week-old baby chicks in the brooder (in the garage) are moved out of there before he starts staining the cabinet so the fumes don’t kill them. It’s going to be a few weeks, at least, ’til the cabinet’s in place in the kitchen, and let me tell you – it’s going to be hard waiting!
The cabinet’s made of poplar – like the stairs – and we’ve talked about staining it the same color as the stairs. We’ve also talked about staining it the same color as the kitchen cabinets (or trying to, anyway). We’ll see – I think it’s going to be gorgeous no matter what color it’s stained!
Okay, yesterday I lied – THESE are the last of the pictures I took of the boys before they went to the pet store.
Jasper got adopted last night! I think our Sleepy will be very happy in his new home.
Such a big baby – he was whining at me because I wasn’t petting him enough.
Previously
2008: I ran after him screaming “NOT IN THE HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE!”
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: Hoverers make me want to just get the hell out of that store as soon as humanly possible.
2004: I think it’s a boy, though.
2003: He’s his usual Fancy self.
2002: “I can’t believe you let me go out in public like this!” I yelled at Fred.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.
Your new cabinet is beautiful! We had an Amish family near us that made furniture but unfortunately they moved. We never did buy anything for ourselves but bought a couple of wall shelves for gifts. I just assumed that they would always be there, silly me. I miss seeing their horse and buggy out on the roads.
Gorgeous cabinet! I want one!
What a gorgeous cabinet!
I didn’t think I had any viewing issues with your new layout but it appears I lost the “oo” in “Bitchypoo.” I just have “Bitchyp.”
Also I ordered Wachoal bras so now my boobs are in your hands. Ew. Not really.
Snort! I laughed out loud atleast three times with this post, especially when Fred yelled at you for saying God in front of the amish guy! Love the pic of Boog jumping back in the air. When my cats do that I crack up too, they are such woosies.
What I forgot to add is that Fred was talking to the guy who built the cabinet, and he said “We were afraid it might rain today, but I thought I’d gamble on it” and when we got back into the truck, I said “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID ‘GAMBLE’ TO HIM!” Hee.
How embarrassing for Mister Boogers (and yet, so funny)! I’m heading over to his website to hear HIS side of the story!
Oh, it’ll be a while before he sufficiently recovers from the embarrassment to write about it!
Gorgeous cabinet! The kitties are so cute!
Your website looks fine to me except in the top left corner part of the word Bitchypoo is blocked by your picture.
The site looks fine on my moniter. Love the cabinet! I am jealous.
That bookshelf is awesome! I am totally jealous.
I agree with Christine. I laughed out loud a few times. The “Amish Shit List” cracked me up! I’ve been a nurse for a year and a few times I have accidently cussed in front of a patient. I love how I make it more obvious by scrambling to cover it with another word. I’ll say “Oh shit” then quickly say “I mean Shitake.”. Then I shuffle out of the room in shame.
“Amish Sh*t List” would have been a gusher if I’d been drinking something. Imagine being a part of folklore, handed down from generation to generation, as an example of why one should avoid the “English”. Hee.
Thank goodness the Amish don’t have the internet. Or they’d read your July 17, 2007 post and either the cabinet wouldn’t have been made at all, or it would have been made of “2 bys”. 😀
Quote: “This living in a small town thing? It kinda rocks.”
Yes, I agree on that point! Most of the time, a simple request for such help will be met with enthusiastic response — someone showing up to do the deed, and NOT take money for it.
For years, my late husband mowed our elderly neighbor’s yard every time he mowed ours. DH would NOT accept money, but the neighbor kept me supplied with plenty of bird seed to feed birds.
Bartering is a concept that many in small towns understand — exchange of either favor for favor or something similar.
Can’t call where we live a small town-it is suburban. Our late next door neighbor was an exterminator. He took down a wasp’s nest for us and wouldn’t allow us to pay him. I went to the best butcher’s and bought him some really nice steaks. He ws a great neighbor-several years later I still miss him.
Loved the Amish comments. I am always afraid I will get the gigles at inappropriate times -kneeling at a casket for instance. I’ll be sad but I think it’s nerves too. I prefer closed caskets but feel obligated to kneel and pray. Sorry so off topic but does anyone else feel obligated in that instance-would it be okay to greet the mourners and ignore the body? I feared giggling at the communion raling when I was a kid too.
Loved the booger in the air photo! Great catch. Elphaba is like Miz Poo-I have a reading lamp on the torchiere behind my section of the sectional couch. Elf warms herself there everytime it is on.
Personally, I’d think it would be perfectly fine to greet the mourners and ignore the body – and I feel for you, I tend to giggle inappropriately when I’m nervous or tense. Ask Fred – I snickered through our entire wedding ceremony!
I ALWAYS ignore the body. I usually stay at the far end of the room if I can and try to angle myself so my back is to the body. I didn’t realize I was being rude but I really can’t deal with it.
your site looks really good on my screen as do the new colors. Lucky me!
I read here almost daily, and this has got to be one of the funniest entries I can remember. I’m trying to eat my yogurt, and it keeps dripping on my desk because my hand is shaking with the giggles! Thanks for allowing us to peek into your obviously hilarious life! And, I’m glad you and Fred made it home from the Amish country without embarrassment!
Poor Mister Boogers! You will pay, you know! hehe
You mean you don’t have individual heat lamps for your kitties???
I bet if we set up a line of heat lamps, there’d be a line of cats underneath – probably hissing and smacking at each other ’cause they don’t like anyone in their SPACE.
Your site is looking great on my monitor. I especially like your calendar placement — close to the top.
Tell Fred his calendar is too low, I’m too lazy to scroll down to see if he has a new entry. (usually not!)
I miss dividerline, he must be on vacation.
“The thing that scares me about going up to Amish country is that I’m terrified I’m going to blurt something out and offend someone.”
True story–went shopping for a quilt with a friend at an outdoor flea market where there were several Amish families selling all sorts of goodies. My friend found the quilt she wanted I knew that it was going to be expensive but my friend apparently didn’t.
When faced with the $650 price tag she screeched loudly: “Holy f**king s**t Aimish (that’s how she pronounced it) people. I only wanna sleep under it, not marry it!”
I slunk away to the car as quickly as I could. No thunderbolts rained down…luckily…but like you, I was afraid that was going to happen!!! 😀
I would have DIED!
(But “Aimish” – HEE!)
“Hell-O, Amish motherfuckers, and how ’bout that goddamn rain!”
That is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages! Thanks for the good laugh.
I’VE GOT BOOBIES!!!!!
That cabinet is gorgeous.
The pic of Mister Boogers mid-air is freaking hilarious.
I remember reading a post about your freezer organization. You purchased plastic (I think) containers to store your food items. I can’t find that post and am trying to do the same thing with my freezer mess but can’t seem to find the right kind of containers. Do you mind sharing where you purchased the bins and what type they were?
Thanks,
Judy
Judy, that post is here. I was going to tell you that I’d gotten the bins at Bed, Bath and Beyond, but apparently I actually got them at Lowe’s. They’re just simple bins that fit the space (I recommend measuring the space before you buy anything!), and weren’t terribly expensive.
The Amish are human too….
One day I was going to a local little hardware/everything store. It didn’t open until 9 and I was there a few minutes early. I sat in the parking lot waiting for it to open and here came a van full of Amish workers on their way to a job. One of the guys got out of the van and sat on the handrail by the door waiting for it to open. As he looked over at the rest of his crew in the van he made the universal ‘jacking off’ motion with his hand. It was the absolute LAST thing I ever expected to see from an Amish person!!!
Is it wrong that that gives me a whole new respect for the Amish? 😀
I am sooo happy Jasper got adopted. You should have a stipulation that all those you foster, the adoptive parents need to start blogging so we can see the bitties grow up, a la Nance!
Wouldn’t it be awesome? Hell, I’d settle for people being required to send pictures of my fosters to me occasionally. 🙂
The Amish are not easily offended. My Dad is somewhat friends, part chauffeur with all the ones who live here in southern KY. They cuss and carry on some he says. And once when they called looking for my Dad, my brother thought it was someone else and said my Dad wouldn’t be back for a long time because he was out “Amishing” and that could take forever. They just thought it was very funny. Just don’t take their picture, don’t like that.
That last photo of the whining kitteh reminded me of this LOLcat:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/04/16/funny-pictures-kin-stopz-nowhello/
I’m sitting here after midnight (or 1am if I switch to Eastern time) in my hotel room in Kentucky trying not to make a noise as I’m laughing my ass off at you trying not to swear in Amish country and that hilarious picture Mister Boogers in mid air after the foot twitch. I was laying in bed the other night and I’m pretty sure it was Maggie who jumped up on the bed and I twitched my foot. She jumped. I twitched again and she jumped. I must have repeated this 20 times and finally I moved my foot really fast towards her and POOF she was gone. I laughed and laughed. I get such a kick at them jumping at the foot twitching when they walk past. It’s the little things…..