Queensryche when she was a kid (and very well may still be a big fan).
I wish like hell I’d brought the camcorder with me.
Of the surviving kids from my father’s family, the one who was pushing the hardest for the family reunion – and his son – ended up not showing up at all. Which pissed off his siblings, and there was much shit talk at the reunion.
Maybe he’ll make the next one.
There do exist, of course, many pictures from the reunion, but y’all know I can’t show them to you, since they involve other people, and all that.
I’m sure you understand.
* * *
So, my parents got back from Tuscaloosa early Sunday afternoon, and we basically hung around the house, reading (my father), napping (my mother), and making dinner (me). We sat down to watch TV at the usual time, and since we didn’t have anything to watch, we watched the Desperate Housewives season finale, which I’d Tivo’d the week before. My mother and I are both fans, and so my father and Fred had to suffer through it (though Fred admitted later that he kept getting caught up in the show and it wasn’t a bad show. Well, DUH).
Monday, Fred took my father hiking. I think they were gone about FOUR HOURS, and we later found out that my father had slipped and fallen on the hike, and twisted his leg a bit. I yelled at Fred for that, since I’d given him strict instructions to not KILL MY FATHER, but Tuesday morning my father woke up with no pain in his leg, so I guess it’s all good.
For most of Monday my mother and I hung around the house, and finally I got bored enough to ask her if she wanted to run over to Kohl’s with me. I needed to buy a blanket for my bed (I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather wake up warm in the middle of the night than freezing fucking cold, curled up in a fetal position, shivering and begging through blue lips for death so that the flames of Hell will warm me up. Plus, if you’re too warm in a 30-below-zero house, you can just kick off one of the blankets.) and new towels for the bathroom. She, of course, is always willing to go shopping, and so we went to Kohl’s, where I found a cheap “hand-stitched” quilt for the bed and towels I liked.
Tuesday, I got up a little before 7, went for my walk, came home, showered, and did some laundry. A little after 10:00, we left the house, headed for Scottsboro and the
Unclaimed Baggage Center.
I don’t think I mentioned that my father bought himself a $500 GPS, specifically for this trip. Which is all well and good – it’s great to always know where you are, and how many chain restaurants are within a two-mile radius – except that he ARGUES with the fucking thing. And it’s VERY BOSSY, with the “Left turn coming up” and “In 500 yards, turn left” and “Turn left here” and then, if you don’t turn, “TURN LEFT HERE OR I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.” So we got to Scottsboro, and the annoying, bossy GPS lady was suspiciously silent, and my father said “Now, where the hell is this place?” and I said “I don’t know, I’ve never been there. I THOUGHT YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS GOING TO TELL US HOW TO GET THERE”, and then the bossy bitch was all “Oh, right. Turn left in 500 yards. HA! You need me! Don’t forget that, fuckers!”
So anyway, we got to the Unclaimed Baggage Center, where we spent an hour and a half looking around. I, personally, ended up buying a $20
digital camera (new in the box! And it sells for $50 on eBay! Perfect for my purse!), a bunch of books, and… well, I think that’s about it. My mother bought herself a blouse for $4, and the spud a couple of skirts for $6 and $8, or something like that. By the time we left that place it was after 1:00, and my father started naming off the places to eat in the area, ’cause apparently we were going out to eat for lunch.
Which I figured we would, but eating out still makes me nervous, ’cause I have a hard time counting protein and calories in that kind of situation. When he named off Ruby Tuesday, I suggested we go there, since I knew they had a low-carb menu. I ended up with a small steak and a ton of broccoli, and it was surprisingly good.
And it didn’t make me gassy! Yay!
We got home around 3:00, and I told the spud that I was going to run some errands (post office, framing store, Wal-Mart, produce stand), and my mother heard “Wal-Mart” and got all bright-eyed, because she is ADDICTED to those sugar-filled Weight Watchers snack cakes (don’t get all up in arms, Weight Watchers lovers, because it’s true – the first ingredient on the ingredient list is sugar, which means there’s more sugar than anything else in those cakes), and she knows where to find them in Wal-Mart. So we ran the errands, which somehow ended up taking two hours, and we got home in time for me to slice up some tomatoes, warm up some grilled chicken, and serve dinner.
And last night we watched Transamerica, which Fred whined and moaned and bitched about, but that’s just too damn bad, ’cause I don’t think I should have to watch Dick movies every fucking night of my life, personally. Also, there were many penii to be seen, which always the sign of a good movie.
Today, we’re doing some heavy-duty shopping. We’re hitting the mall, among other places, and I’m finally going to use the Yankee Candles gift card the spud gave me, and get some new bras (since the old ones are already too big, and I only got them like a month ago), and perhaps I’ll find some sandals I can wear this summer.
A gal can hope.
* * *
I need advice on an easy-to-use 35mm, decent quality camera that I can get for the spud. I bought her one at Wal-Mart yesterday, but it’s a piece of crap. Flash, focus, and auto-advance are mandatory. A link would be good, too. I’d like to spend no more than around $50 for it, but nothing too cheap – the one I got at the Mart yesterday was $17 and, like I said, a piece o’ crap. I know y’all have advice; hand it over!
* * *
I have a metric shitload of email I haven’t even begun to slog through. If you’ve emailed me in the last week and a half and I haven’t answered, fear not. I’ll get to it when my parents leave – I promise!
* * *
Could that squirrel look any less concerned about how close Mister Boogers is?
More kitty pics,
here.
* * *
Previously
2005: No entry.
2004: It was like being in a flying SUV.
2003: No entry.
2002: It was a stank that coated the inside of my nostrils, and was so thick and noxious that I could actually TASTE it.
2001: A buncha links.
2000: Something about that rictus grin just gives me nightmares.]]>
Whew! That’s a lot of news for one update.
1. On my mom’s side of the family everyone has the same nose, mouth and eyes. EVERYBODY. Also- Hardly any of the oldest relative go by their first names. They’re not southern.
2. The whole thing about thinking a cousin was dead? Yeah, our family too. Except when he showed up everyone was shocked and apparently only his parents knew he wasn’t dead, but they were so sick of him he might as well been dead.
3. I loved Transamerica!
It’s about damn time that you updated for God’s sake. I’ve been missing you something terrible. I’m glad that you had a good time at the re-union even though the Banana Pudding made you sick. I love me some banana pudding. It’s too bad that you can’t post pics but I totally understand that you can’t post pictures of real people. You know that I love reading your journal so keep up the good work. Love them kitty pics too! Thanks be to YOU!! Nanamama 😉
The brother who pushed for the reunion didn’t show? He better have had a good excuse! No one likes going to those things but once you are there you have a great time! My family only reunites when there is a death. Nice.
The Yankee Lilac Blossoms candle is sooo nice! It’s my current fave!
I’m convinced that the middle name thing is a southern thing. Every single guy my husband supervises goes by his middle name and several of my coworkers do too. Why do people not just name their children what they are going to call them?
I’ve had good luck with Canon SureShot cameras. Try jr.com. The fancier models are over $100, but there are some simpler models that you can probably find much cheaper.
I had to laugh when I saw your comments about Transamerica–I just got back from the video store where my boyfriend and I had a mini-argument about Transamerica! We got something else. Then I remembered I had a two-for-one coupon that expired today, so I went back and got Transamerica and Pride and Prejudice. He’s going back home tomorrow, so I’ll watch those after that. I can always pretty much tell which movies he won’t want to see, though sometimes he will watch one and then have to admit he liked it! Men!!!!
The middle name thing? Not strictly a southern thing, unless you include the south of England, wher all my hubby’s rellies come from!! His mom & ALL her siblings go by their middle names!!
My ex-wife and I were going to name our son, Michael Scott, and call him Scott. Luckily my ex-mother-in-law talked us out of it. We named him Scott Lee, and he goes by his first name. What a continous hassle it would have been for him to have to explain, “Actually my middle name is Scott. Michael is my real name.” Think of the possible mail mix-ups that could have occurred, and any other life-long troubles that could have popped up where he had to prove his true identity. I’m glad now my ex and I listened to her mom.
hi.. how about trying one of those Kodak Advantix cameras? I’ve got one and it takes excellent pictures.
enjoy your shopping trip 🙂
When it comes to film cameras, I have eschewed 35mm for the more convenient and easy to use APS. There were several manufacturers of these cameras when they first came out, but it seems that most places have gone all-digital.
APS differs from standard 35mm in that your hands never touch the film (among other things). All cameras are self-loading and rewinding. You still get to choose the speed of the film (100-, 200-, or 400-) and you get pictures that are the same size as a 35mm. You can also choose to take a slightly larger pic for group shots, or even a panoramic pic. There are no negatives to keep track of. When you have your film developed, you get the film canister back (all canisters have a unique ID number on them) along with an index print of your pics (with the corresponding canister ID number on it). If you want reprints, you just take the canister back with the index print and order the pic you want. Also (do I sound like a commercial yet?), if you took the original pic in “standard” size (like the 35mm size), you can have it reprinted in the large/group size or even the panoramic – from the same “negatives”. Most stores don’t stock the cameras anymore, but you can find one on Ebay or Overstock.com. Here’s a link for Overstock: Fuji APS . Most of the info you find on APS anymore can be found through Kodak. They called their version “Advantix”, but much like 35mm, the name don’t mean much. All APS film works in all APS cameras – regardless of manufacturer. The film costs about the same as 35mm and is about the same cost to develop.
I’m a terrible photographer. When I use a 35mm camera, half the pics don’t turn out. When I use my APS, though, I usually get all of my pics back. They may not be great, but I get them. The film and camera take almost all of the guess work out of taking pics with actual film. If the Spud is having trouble taking good pics, this kind of camera will definitely help her without making her go digital.
Hope this helps! And, if you have any questions, feel free to email me. (Sorry so long!)
Well you could give them all new stripper names instead of middle names. http://360.yahoo.com/janjina25 At least for your own enjoyment… Personally, I like my new stripper name: Montana Glittertush. However, my sister, doesn’t like hers nearly as much: Fantasia Razorthong. Go figure…