So yes, I made a rude cross-stitched picture for Nance’s birthday. The worst part of it is that the email exchange (wherein she said something wise and then I said “You’re a smart motherfucker, that’s right” and then she said I should cross-stitch that for her) happened back in November but when did I start cross-stitching? Oh, not ’til mid-May. OF COURSE.
First I had to look through my cross-stitch pattern books to find an appropriate border (and ended up going with hearts because they’re simple and I couldn’t quite get the small butterflies to work for me) and then I had to choose a letter type. I have a really hard time cross-stitching without a pattern to follow – some people can free-hand it; I cannot – so I cross-stitched it once (took a couple of hours), then used Excel to create a pattern, which helped me figure out the centering and exactly how the border should go, and then I cross-stitched it for real.
Cross-stitching it for real took three evenings, not because it was so complicated (it really wasn’t), but because we’d started letting Beulah and Bessie out all day long and into the evening, and every time I started cross-stitching, one of them would appear out of thin air, flying at me, yelling “OH BOY LOOK, IT’S STRING FOR ME TO PLAY WITH!”, and I’d have to hide it so they’d go away and leave me alone.
All in all, I think it came out pretty well. I traumatized Fred by telling him I was going to have it professionally framed. I’m sure he was having visions of the police coming to arrest me for subjecting poor innocent framers to naughty words before I told him I was just kidding. I had one hell of a time wrestling that fucking thing into the frame, but I persevered and it worked out pretty well.
I know I’ve mentioned that I told Fred that the tomatoes are mine to take care of this year because something about the way he cared for them annoyed me last year. So when we brought tomato plants home, I was the one who had to plant them. And it’s been so rainy (and I’ve been so lazy) that I haven’t weeded around them at all. Yesterday morning I decided it was time to suck it up and get my ass out into the garden, so shortly before 7, I went out, found some gardening gloves and the hand cultivator, grabbed a stool out of the garage, and set to weeding.
First I weeded around each tomato plant by hand (and godDAMN were there a lot of weeds around the plants), tossing all the weeds into a bucket so I could dump them away from the garden. I think I ended up dumping about 10 bucket loads of weeds. Then I took the scuffle hoe and went back through the row of tomatoes and got the weeds I’d missed. When I was done, my legs felt like rubber and I walked into the house expecting to find I’d been out there for an hour.
It was 9:30. I’d spent two and a half hours weeding and only got one row of tomatoes done. I have another entire row to do!
I guess I’d better keep on top of the weeding, ’cause this weeding for two and a half hours at a time is for the birds!
Hey, look! It’s a bluebird! I guess the one that cats killed (grrrr) wasn’t the only one hanging around here.
This little finch (it’s a finch, right?) drives Sugarbutt NUTS.
Phyllis is always ready for a fight. She was sitting there and Dwight went zooming by, and she fell over on her side and waited for him to jump on her – but he ignored her!
Phyllis and her cute little nub of a tail.
Oh, how they love to chomp on these plastic rings.
Getting ready to pounce. (That’s a little sprinkle of catnip to the left, not dirt. These kittens do not yet appreciate catnip, apparently. They completely ignored it.)
When we’re outside and Maxi sees us, she likes to come over to us, meowing her husky little meow the entire way. Also, she’s a very solid, heavy little thing, thus the reason her theme song goes “Porking along, singing her song; it’s Out! Side! Momma!”
Previously
2008: Now that I have only the one drain, which will be tucked under my clothes, I don’t have to worry about the kittens puncturing anything and blood spurting all over the place.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Today I’m still burning with curiosity, and I wish I’d asked anyway.
2002: So yes, the vacation rocked.
2001: If vacation pictures aren’t your thing, I’ll see ya tomorrow.
2000: I’m so so SO glad to be home.
Yes, a Goldfinch. Looks like a male.
Um, how does one use Excel to do cross stitch patterns? You are a Queen.
Did I tell you we got the Topsy Turvy Tomato Planter? I felt like a goof but I decided to give it a try. I will keep you informed. On the definite plus side, no weeding with the Topsy.
Maxi sure is a pretty momma
I bought a pad of old fashioned graph paper which I use when I (infrequently) design cross stitch patterns. It makes it much easier to count and lay out the lettering.
Love the cross stitch. I wish i knew how to do it.
Great pic of Maxi too.I am assuming that the old kittens and the new kittens are kept separated, is that right?
Get PCStitch program! (http://www.pcstitch.com/)
My cats LOVE those crazy rings, too.
That last picture of Dwight – he looks like a cross between a hamster and a cat! Too cute!
Great cross stitch, I howled when I saw it on Nance’s site!
Those kittens are gorgeous..
Reading what you wrote up there about the kittehs makes me think Phyllis should have been named Angela.
I think that cross stich is hystercial-I was on the phone with my sister and she howled when I told her what it said. She said, “I wonder if she’d let someone pay her to do one for them?” Her husband’s favorite thing of late is to tell her how mother fucking thoughtful he is. (Ever since they saw that I’m on a boat song from Elaynocentricity mother fucker is used a lot more in thier daily chats).I know how busy you are so I don’t know that you’d be interested or if she was kidding…
Your chicken stories were VERY funny yesterday. I was in a hurry to get to the drs. so I just jumped on the new kitten thing. I’m like a crow w/something shiny when it comes to new kittens. All of my focus seems to go there. I have phlebitis in my left leg and the pain is making me a very grouchy twat. Went for an utra sound to rule out deep leg thrombosis which can lead to a pulmonary embolism (too wierd,Elayne-it was on just on her blog). I am dopey from muscle relaxers-have to keep fixing my typing errors. All the new kittens rock and your photos are great. Yes and weeding sucks but I have to keep my leg up so I have a great excuse not to do it right now. Sorry this is long-pain makes it ALL ABOUT ME!
I recently read that kittens don’t have the gland or smell scensor or whatever the hell is in older cats to apprecaite catnip. They have to be several months old before it develops and then not all cats get it.
I want Phyllis, I’ll even keep her name! But, alas, I’m in Illinois and you’re not so it’s a moot point. Blah
I saw that on Nance’s site and cracked right up too! It’s so…HER!
Male goldfinch. Oh man, I have such a conflicted personality because I have been a birder for YEARS and would so LOVE to put out feeders to get some interesting activity in my yard..but…CATS! Ack! Mine are indoor only but the cat next door goes outside and has already caught hummingbirds 🙁 I would hate to give her more to kill.
Maxi in that pictures looks so much like a panther! Made me think of Bageera from Jungle Book :->
You are SO NOT allowed to cross-stitch that particular phrase for anyone. It’s trademarked FOR ME, dammit! And watch, people are going to be zooming in on every witty line you say in your journal and want you to start stitching them up. The fuckers.
Yes ma’am! 😀
Weeding is da bitch.
(oh, and happy belated birthday to Fred! Did that little boy with the bangs ever guess that he would grow up to be a cryptowhatsis programmer/chicken farmer/cat wrangler?)
Bwaa ha ha ha haaa! That cross stitch is hilarious! I am also a cross stitcher and the sweet little hearts with the F word just crack my ass up!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s gonna love it!
Shit, I came back to this computer and I was still on your post – that’s when I realized that I didn’t finish the comment before hitting enter and now I sound like a mean bitch (like that’s unusual). I meant to add a “you need to go into business” with a smiley face at the end. Instead of just calling your readers “fuckers”. Cause everyone knows I call them Robyn’s Rabid Readers and not just Fuckers. Hee!