I was surfing around the net yesterday, and I read that you can actually plant the top of a pineapple, and eventually it’ll take root and grow and after like two years, you might end up with a whole new pineapple.
This fascinated and intrigued me, and I of course had to immediately tell Fred about it.
“Hey!” I said. “Did you KNOW that if you plant the top of a pineapple, it will take root and grow? We should grow our own pineapples!”
Fred considered. “So, it takes root and grows into a pineapple tree?”
I wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not, so I turned around and gave him a look.
“A pineapple tree,” I said.
“It grows into a pineapple tree, you’re saying, and we could go out and pick our own pineapples?”
I gave him another look.
“Pineapples… do not GROW ON TREES,” I said.
“Oh. They don’t?”
“Um. No.”
“So you plant a pineapple top, and you get one pineapple from it and it takes a couple of years?” he said.
“Yes.”
“That seems like a lot of effort and waiting for two people who aren’t THAT into pineapple.”
Can’t argue with that.
We were driving somewhere last weekend, and AS HE ALWAYS DOES, Fred was weaving all over the road because he was so busy looking at the houses we were passing, or waving his hands in the air to make a super-important point.
“IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU WERE ABLE TO KEEP THE CAR ON THE ROAD,” I said. I swear to you, I’m 99% sure that my cause of death will be due to Fred driving off the road into a tree (or ditch) because he’s NOT PAYING ATTENTION, driving directly into a car stopped at a red light because he loves to approach red lights at roughly 95 miles per hour, or my having a heart a attack at the way he drives.
(He said the other day, in response to my complaint about his driving, “I have never gotten into an accident!”, because I got into an accident a few years ago in the Lowe’s parking lot (and you think I tell you everything), and I said “Yeah? Well I have never lost my job!” HA HA HA ZING. I guess it’s hard to get fired when your lazy ass hasn’t had a job in ten years, though.)
“I’m ON the road,” he said, annoyed with me for questioning his driving skills.
“Then WHY are we driving down the goddamn rumble strip?” I asked.
“Is that what those are called?” he said. “Really, they’re called rumble strips?”
“Yes,” I said.
“How on earth do you know that?” he asked.
I shrugged. “How on earth do you NOT?”
So of course the question here is, how many of y’all knew that they’re called rumble strips? That’s common knowledge, right?
We were driving through Research Park in Huntsville last weekend, writing down the names of companies so that Fred could go online and see if they were hiring (this was before he realized that Wikipedia has a complete list of all the companies).
Fred pulled into the parking lot of a large company to make sure there weren’t other companies in the same building as the large company. I noticed that, alongside the United States flag, was a flag that was unfamiliar to me. I decided that it must be the flag of the country the company originated in. It wasn’t familiar to me, but aside from the US flag, the Canadian flag, and the Japanese flag, I can’t really identify flags from other countries.
This was definitely not a Canadian or Japanese flag.
I pondered the flag for a few moments, and then pointed it out to Fred. “What country is that flag from, do you know?” I asked. I thought maybe it was the German flag. Or perhaps Switzerland?
(Oh, I guess I do know Great Britain’s flag too, now that I think about it. Duh.)
Fred gave me a look.
“That,” he said carefully, probably restraining himself from out-and-out calling me a great big fucking idiot. “That is the Alabama state flag.”
“Oh.”
Fred snickered.
“Shut up.”
Fred snickered.
“Kiss my ass.”
Fred snickered.
How embarrassing.
“WHAT?”
What you really really need to see (I have GOT to start carrying the camera around with me at all times, I guess) is poor Maura’s big ol’ shaved belly. I was hanging out with her yesterday afternoon, and she was so relaxed and happy that she rolled onto her back and just stayed there, belly exposed, her four paws sticking straight up. It was seriously cute.
She is the MOST laid-back cat I’ve ever seen. She’s always pleased to see me when I walk into the room, and she loves to lay up against me when I sit on the floor. When the hanging-out time is over, she’s mildly puzzled, like “Oh, you have to go? Why would you need to be anywhere else? This room has it all, do you see the toys and the chair and the cat tree? You really have to go? Okay then, bye.” She doesn’t rush the door, she looks curiously out into the hallway at Jake and Elwood, who would dearly love to get into the room with her, and then she goes off to play or sleep or whatever is next in her hectic schedule.
What a baleful look I’m getting here!
“HELLO HI I HAZ A COMPLAINT AND MY COMPLAINT IS THAT I HAVE EYE BOOGERS IN THE CORNERS OF MY EYES AND THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A STREET URCHIN THAT NO ONE CARES FOR BECAUSE IF SOMEONE LOVED ME, THEY’D CLEAN THE CORNERS OF MY EYES OUT BUT OBVIOUSLY NO ONE LOVES ME AND THAT IS MY COMPLAINT THAT I HAZ.”
Reacher’s eyes are changing color, and right now, they pretty much match his fur. Very neat.
Again with the baleful look.
Newt, Tommy, and Jake, hanging out on the patio and taking in some sunshine.
Previously
2009: Y’all are some grumpy motherfuckers, aren’t you?
2008: Detective Boogerton, the grizzled, cranky veteran detective who has seen it all, is disgruntled that his day off has been interrupted.
2007: No entry.
2006: FYI.
2005: Meme.
2004: Lime green would work.
2003: I called Fred at one point and said “Maybe it’s SARS!”
2002: Well, you can just bite my coconut-scented, soft, smooth, butt.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.
I knew they were called rumble strips – always think “Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” before the York Maine toll booth.
I knew about the rumble strips, but you so had me on the pineapples. Who knew they didn’t grow on trees?
I had a pineapple plant once. It did grow a pineapple and we ate it, very good. The plant died after producing the one pineapple. It was fun to grow.
I know rumble strips.
I knew they were called rumble strips! My head is just FULL of useless information like that!
You should grow a pineapple to make the Paula Deen pineapple casserole with!!
And yes, I knew about rumble strips.
Rumble strips down the middle of the road = Texas titties. Rumble strips across the middle of the road = construction.
No clue they were called rumble strips. But did you know the old fashioned half round ones are called “city titties”?
I totally knew they were called rumble strips, but I grew up in New York & Boston. I wonder if this is a regional thing?
There was a whole pineapple patch at our house when we moved in three years ago. The pinepples were really good, but yeah – it’s a lot of space and time and effort for a single pineapple per plant.
Huh, I didn’t know that pineapples weren’t grown on trees. It makes me appreciate them more now.
But I DID know about rumble strips. Like, duh!
Knew they were called rumble strips. In Minnesota we also call them idiot bumps. Like hey idiot, you’re driving off the road. In rural areas here they are also in the middle of the road when you’re coming to a stop sign. Hey idiot, you’re coming up to a stop sign stop looking at the crops and pay attention. I call those fart strips cuz that’s the sound your car makes when you drive over them.
Yes, I knew they were called rumble strips. Sorry Fred!
Yes on the rumble strips and pineapple plants, no on the Alabama state flag : ) Going to be in Alabama in a few days, now I will know what to look for.
No pineapples, yes rumble strips and no Alabama state flag!
Rumble strips, yes. Alabama flag, no. (Although I know the Louisiana and California flags since I live/have lived there. Does that count?) Pineapple plants — had NO idea. But now that I know, I think growing a pineapple plant is going to be in my future.
Rumble strips??? Really? I’m from Oklahoma and I did not know that…maybe it is a regional thing.
Yes to the pineapples (but I am ashamed to admit to only knowing from playing FarmTown on FB) and yes to rumble strips, but no clue what the Alabama state flag looks like.
Yesterday my husband, also unemployed, failed to appreciate a little self-composed ditty I was singing to one of our pets and commented, “Don’t quit your day job.” To which I replied, “Well at least I HAVE a day job!” Thankfully, our sense of humor and love let us get away with lines with that. 🙂
I did know Rumble Strips (my fiance calls them Ripple Strips).
I totally thought pineapples grew on trees!
Last night my fiance told me that monkeys aren’t mammals… um, then what the hell are they? 😉
Yeah it took me a while to figure out the flag with the big red X on a white background was the Alabama state flag. What doofus came up with that one? Intergraph has openings. Not sure if Fred fits any of those, but hope he tries there, too.
Pineapples don’t grow on trees..? I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
I tried to grow a pineapple–all it did was rot and stink and I threw the thing out–pot and all.
Yes, they are called rumble strips.
My Fred is also a terrible driver–gawking around and not looking ahead. I am so afraid we are going to rear end someone–makes me a nervous wreck.
I forgot–you can grow an avocado tree from an avocado pit.
I never really thought it through before, but I kinda had this idea that pineapples grew on trees. I mean, seriously. Don’t they look like something that ought to grow on a great big tree? They’re huge.
I knew what rumble strips were, though.
Here in Toronto, Canada we call them rumble strips too. Although my friends in university called the ones in the middle of the road as you approach a stop sign “road farts”…and now, 20 years on, I can never not think of them like that. 🙂
Yes on the rumble strips. I was not aware that is what they are called when approaching a stop sign. The first time I saw all of those before a stop sign was in Florida. The first thought come to mind is that is some sort of brail telling that a stop sign is coming. hehe
Living in Alabama, you have to know the rebel flag as well… or is that just in Tennessee?
A friend grew a pineapple like that and served it for dessert at a luncheon. I think once was enough.
Look at this cat. http://video.yahoo.com/network/100284668?v=7290914&l=3774740
I don’t know if your guys can master that, but I’m thinking that they have a shot at out-gaping the amazed cat in one of the other videos.
Rumble strips ? Round here(Central TX) we call ’em DRUNK BUMPS!! Urban dictionary definition: The tiny orange-and-red speed bumps that line the edges of highways, intended to awaken drowsy drunks before they drive off the road by making for a violent and uncomfortable ride should one drive over them.
It is amazing that a fruit so yummy could grow in such an unattractive way.
” I can’t really imagine someone walking past one of those plants and thinking “Gee, that looks yummy, I wonder what it tastes like.” lol
Learned something new with the pineapples-I love them and they are expensive but that makes more sense now. I do not have the name rumble strips stored in the brain’s memory banks. We have them on the Parkway here and they woke me up the one time I (sober but exhausted) fell asleep at the wheel. I couldn’t identify NJ’s state flag and I’ve lived here 30 years so don’t feel bad. Just not that interested I guess. Love the Boog “look” pictures, funny as hell and nice to see him again.
I knew, and Ohio is just full of the little f*ckers.
But I did not know about the pineapples!
I didn’t know they were called rumble strips and wasn’t sure about pineapples. (Still not, TTYTT.) Hope Fred finds employment soon. I was pretty shocked he got laid off. I thought you all were immune somehow. My Superandersons. I think you should be immune from any and all bad things, cause you are awesome people.
Hmm… did not know about rumble strips. I just call them road bumps.
I knew rumble strips but I had no idea that pineapples don’t grow on trees. Wow. That is my fact of the day.
I did the pineapple thing. The plant lived 6 years and never made a pineapple.
Never knew they were called rumble strips… Hmm.
I only knew about pineapples not growing on trees from when I went to Hawaii in ’01. There were lots o’ them everywhere in fields.
I knew they were called Rumble Strips but we call them Wake Ups.
You can also start sweet potatos/yams and carrots from an existing one. I think you have to start them in water, though. And I don’t know why I think this, I’m a city kid. So forget it, clearly I’m crazy.
I just thought they were “bumps in the road.” Duh! 😀
And for some reason the line “It would be nice if you were able to keep the car on the road” gave me the biggest laugh of the day!
Nice to see those looks again!
Pineapple, check and check (how to grow from cutting, does not grow on trees).
Rumble strips, check.
State flag of Alabama, surprisingly, no, despite the fact that I lived there for nearly a year and am usually really into symbols, flags, etc.
I think most people assume pineapple grows on trees because we have a sort of link between pineapple and coconut – the whole “tropical island, fruity deliciousness” thing. (Although in my case, the pineapple is fruity deliciousness while the coconut is vomity vomitousness. Coconut is Dis.Gust.Ing.) If you ask people without giving them a heads up first, I bet a lot of people would draw a “pineapple tree” as looking nearly identical to a coconut palm.
rumble strips here in UNY. Didn’t know the pineapple thing- thought it was a tree grower. Who knew??
Seeing Mister Boogers wonderful expressions again is great! I really miss that guy!!!
Yep, knew rumble strips and pineapple stuff. Don’t I feel smart now!!! Loved seeing Mr. Boogers. Thanks for using those pics.
Those first two pictures made me laugh out loud!
What’s this about Fred’s job. I’ve been away obviously missed something?!!
About halfway down the page.