4/12/12 – Thursday

This week over at Dinosaurs Can’t Eat Pizza, Nance and I made “Healthified” Italian Sausage Egg Bake. One of us is too stupid to follow directions correctly. You’ll have to go read to find out who it is (spoiler: it’s not Nance). ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ … Continue reading “4/12/12 – Thursday”

This week over at Dinosaurs Can’t Eat Pizza, Nance and I made “Healthified” Italian Sausage Egg Bake. One of us is too stupid to follow directions correctly. You’ll have to go read to find out who it is (spoiler: it’s not Nance).

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Hello Robyn,

Attached is your order confirmation for Saturday, August 11 2012. If you do need to make any changes, feel free to let us know no later than Wednesday, August 8 2012 by 5pm to ensure we can accommodate the changes. Just reminder, the tiered stand is due back to our shop during business hours on Sunday, August 12 2012. We are open from 10am to 4pm.

Apparently Canadian Robyn Anderson is getting married (or hosting a wedding) in August. How sweet! Awww, I remember when she was a college student and too dumb to know her own goddamn email address. Hasn’t gotten smarter in the three years since then, I guess. Probably all those study groups she missed!

Pretty sure I’m going to print out the receipt and mail it to her with a note that says “Congrats on your wedding! I’d super appreciate it if you’d figure out your own email address, STUPID. xoxo, Robyn Anderson of the United States.”

Wow. 10 dozen cupcakes! That’s a lot of cupcakes. I should show up on the day of the wedding, all “I got the invoice, I figured I was invited!”

I hope that dumbass doesn’t expect me to pay for the cupcakes.

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I went to Walmart yesterday morning because I wanted to look for plants for the big plant pots that go on the front porch. We went to the high school last weekend to look at the plants they had for sale, but I think it was just too early in the season – they didn’t have anything that floated my boat. Neither did Lowe’s. At first I wasn’t able to find anything at Walmart that I particularly liked, then I went outside the store – you know, the plants they have lined up outside? – and found some Begonias and Impatiens that I thought were pretty.

I haven’t put them in the planters yet, because I have to mix up some dirt from Dirt Mountain and a few scoops of chicken litter from the compost heap and mix them together and put them in the planters, and OH it was just too much work for me to contemplate after a trip to Walmart.

I also bought a cat bed because I wanted to donate a cat bed filled with cat toys and treats for Cat Tales (the Challenger’s House fundraiser), and as USUAL I waited ’til the last moment (Cat Tales is Friday night), and I found a bed that I liked, but do you suppose I could find a price tag anywhere? OF COURSE NOT. I ended up doing a Google search on my phone while I stood there in the aisle to make sure it wasn’t, like, $50 (it wasn’t).

When I got home, I went to all my toy-hiding spots (there’s a big box in my closet, some jars of cat toys in the front room, and even more in my desk drawer. It’s an illness, I’m telling you) and found a bunch of really good cat toys (a lot of Kong toys that I got for a song at Barking Deals), some good cat treats, and a mouse chaser. Whoever gets that thing is going to get some awesome, awesome stuff.

Then, because Fred had a half day off from work, we went up to the shelter to drop off the cat bed & toys, as well as 8 jars of habanero jam, with the shelter manager. It was a really pretty day, so it was nice to get out of the house for a while.

We’d talked about getting the summer squash planted yesterday – since Fred had his half day off – but neither of us really wanted to do that much work, so we put it off. We’ll get it done over the weekend.

I’d also planned to get my tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach, and cabbage planted in the garden, but in a surprise twist, Mother Nature gave us a bit of a cold snap (not really COLD, more kind of COOL), and it was supposed to get down to 32 last night, so I’ll probably do that this weekend, too.

This is such an awesome time of the year. I love watching our garden grow. I remembered to get a picture of the garden before we started planting (actually, I think Fred may have already planted the corn before I took the picture, but the garden LOOKS unplanted, and that’s what matters), and I’m hoping to remember to take a picture every two weeks or month (I haven’t decided which) to document the growth.

I had intended to drive the sweeper around the property Tuesday morning, but I couldn’t get the GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT riding lawnmower to start, so I was all “FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID GRASS CLIPPINGS YOU JUST GO AHEAD AND STAY RIGHT THERE.” When Fred got home from work he couldn’t get the mower started either, so he called the lawnmower repairman, Billy. Then he went out and messed around with something, and by the time Billy showed up 10 minutes later, he had it running. So I made him hook up the sweeper for me, and I spent about an hour going around the front and side yards and sweeping up the clippings, which I dumped into a pile by the garden. When the plants are big enough, I’m going to put empty feed bags around them, and then pile grass clippings on top of the bags (the grass clippings are a trick I learned from Katherine, mother to Nate and Dora, Kara’s kittens who were previously known as River and Inara). I’m hoping that this year is the year we get the low-maintenance garden. Well, low-maintenance as far as not having to weed.

We’ll see how that turns out.

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2011: It was the kittens that made me feel better.
2010: (We call him “Creepy Cousin Spanky” when he acts like that.)
2009: No entry.
2008: If you see my bottle of Feliway, please send it home. Thankyew.
2007: “If a fluffy black cat prances across the yard, goes upstairs and shits on the carpet, could you give us a call?”
2006: “Hmm,” I said, like that meant something to me.
2005: Just because the fuckers are talking to me doesn’t mean I’m obligated to listen to their bullshit, does it?
2004: Hey, you know how I always say Ben Affleck has a humongous noggin?
2003: No entry.
2002: Apparently the Committee for Deciding Who is Hellbound was meeting in the waiting room.
2001: “Jesus has arrived in Madison,” he said nonchalantly.
2000: Now that, my friends, is wickedly fast.

11 thoughts on “4/12/12 – Thursday”

  1. I think we should all send Happy Wedding cards to Canadian Robyn Anderson. That would be awesome. Can you just imagine her trying to figure out who all these people are sending her cards?
    Second, I was wondering why I had never received the Dirt Mountain catalog. I read about you using dirt from Dirt Mountain and figured you had a catalog I did not know about. I thought how very cool you were that you mixed your special dirt with your compost. I then realized you meant dirt from the Dirt Mountain from the pond. I need serious help.

    1. HA – there needs to be a Dirt Mountain catalog! I’ve been telling Fred that we need to start a blog from Gracie’s point of view and call it “The Queen of Dirt Mountain.”

  2. …or better yet, Robyn, why not start a page sellling dirt from Dirt Mountain and make a few bucks off that sucker! A scoop here, a scoop there into a few plastic bags won’t be missed…. no? I’ll bet there would be people who would actually pay for it!

    1. Are you a fan of Crooked Acres? Do you wake each day ready to hear the next installment of Robyn & Fred Battle Nature? Do you wish you could somehow be a part of all the excitment? WELL, NOW YOU CAN!! For a limited time, YOU can own your very own piece of Crooked Acres! Preserved in a archival-quality polyethylene soft-sided capsule with high-tech sealing strip, your share of Crooked Acres will make you feel like you’re a Part of The Action in Alabama! For just $9.99 (plus $7.00 S&H), you can have a little Crooked Acres in your very own home. Order now, supplies are limited!! Operators are standing by.

  3. Sometimes I wonder if in some of these cases these Robyn Andersons might have written their email address correctly and then the vendor typed it in wrong? In happier news Canadian Robyn Anderson may change her name after the wedding and then create a new email address based on her new name!

  4. I recently got a reminder email from some library in Pennsylvania for someone using my email address. I kid you not, the book she had reserved was “GED for dummies”.

  5. I have a serious cat-toy addiction too… what makes it worse though is that my cat prefers to play with toilet rolls and other random bits of cardboard that he finds 😐

    I have a question for you as well – have you ever had a cat that doesn’t clean their bottom very well? One of my cats seems to have started letting this slide lately and she HATES it when we clean it (just with a makeup pad soaked in warm water) – she even growls and hisses at us which she never does, ever. I am hoping that either you or maybe one of your readers has had this issue and came up with a solution? The vet has checked her out and there doesn’t seem to be any physical reason for it (except maybe losing a bit of mobility in her old age – she’s 11).

    Thanks so much!

  6. Mizz Robyn, can’t remember if you have mentioned this or not, Have u ever watched the TV Show “My Cat From Hell” ?

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