The guys from Lowe’s came to deliver our dryer yesterday before 9, and when they went to hook it up, discovered that the exhaust hose extension THINGY wasn’t long enough. They couldn’t hook up the hose because it wouldn’t reach to the other side of the vent hole in the wall, which meant that lint would blow up into the wall causing a fire hazard. So they plugged it in and left it for Fred to deal with.
Luckily, it was perfect clothes-drying weather, so I was able to do the rest of Fred’s laundry and hang it out to dry. I even got it folded and put away before he got home.
I got a lot of little things done around the house yesterday, which was nice. I’ve been wanting to scrub the bottom of the screen door – the door leading out to the back yard, which has a cat door built into it. I think we’ve had that thing for a couple of years now, and I’ve never cleaned it. It was nas-tay, but only took about ten minutes of work with the Magic Eraser sponge and some cleaning rags, and now it’s all set for another couple of years!
Regarding the peeing on my bed that I mentioned yesterday? I was maybe not clear when I said that it rarely happens. What I meant to say is that it rarely happens that someone pees ON MY BED. There’s plenty of cat pee in OTHER places, but it’s been a while since anyone peed on my damn bed.
These days, one of my morning chores, along with scooping the litter box and giving Emmy and Spanky their morning snacks, is to go around the house with a flashlight, a bottle of Nose Offense, and a few cleaning rags, checking all the usual spots and cleaning up any cat pee that I find. It’s a rare day when I don’t find some. I look at pictures I posted from back when we lived in Madison – and had far fewer cats than we have now – and I think “Seriously, I dared to put books on the bottom shelf of the bookcases?!” I don’t dare to now, because they’ll get sprayed. I don’t dare to leave laundry on the floor, because it’ll get peed on. Fred’s couch is covered in an old comforter to protect it from being peed on, and my couch has those waterproof-bottomed bed pads on it for the same reason.
(I’m using “spray” and “pee” interchangeably here because sometimes I find a small spray, and sometimes I find a full pee. The cats have been to the fucking vet, every last one of them, and they’re all in tip top health. They’re just assholes.)
I honestly don’t know when the cat pee problem really started – I know that we had a few issues with Mister Boogers (I believe he sent Nance home with a peed-upon sweatshirt because as much as I loved that cat, he was a fucking douchebag sometimes), but I think it really ramped up after we brought Joe Bob home. Joe Bob, sweet and wonderful as he is, will spray right in front of me. I’ve seen Tommy do it, Elwood’s done it, even my dear sweet Spanky has been seen doing it. At this point, Miz Poo is the only cat I can somewhat confidently say only pees in the litter box. I don’t think Alice, Kara, Stinkerbelle, or Corbie do it, but if Fred told me they did, I wouldn’t be all that surprised.
Did you know that female cats can spray? Indeed they can. I’ve seen Maxi do it right in front of me. ON THE SIDE OF MY DESK.
Goddamn, I hate cats sometimes.
So all of this is to set y’all straight. We see plenty of cat pee around here. PLENTY. We’re awash in cat pee. Thank god for Nose Offense and on the rare occasion that doesn’t take care of the problem, I mix up a spray bottle of 16 oz. hydrogen peroxide, 1 T baking soda, and 1 tsp dishwashing liquid, and go to town with that.
This cat pee issue, by the way, is why I am NOT KIDDING when I say that we’re not adopting any more cats. I would honestly like to go back down to 5 cats. I’m not talking about wanting to get rid of any of our cats of course. But as they go peeing off this mortal coil, we won’t adopt more to replace them. Miz Poo and Spanky are the oldest, and Tommy, Sugarbutt, and Joe Bob are the next oldest at almost 7 years old. As long as no one develops some horrible disease (oh please, let no one develop some horrible disease please, please), I think we’re going to be a house of way more than 5 cats for a good long time.
Y’all should buy stock in Nose Offense.
(Speaking of Nose Offense, I actually got an email from the people who run the company saying they hadn’t heard from me in a while and hoped everything was okay. I know they probably send out the email to people who regularly buy large quantities of the stuff, but I thought it was funny. And wouldn’t you know, I did have to place an order!)
“Erm?”
Ugh, they are SO CUTE. I swear, I’m afraid I’m going to squeeze them ’til the marshmallow fluff comes out their ears.
“HI MAMA!”
“Oh, goody. You found me. I was hoping you would. No, really, I was.”
(My favorite part of this picture: Darwin in the back of the box with the tilted head.)
“HI MAMA! I FOUND YOU!”
“Yep, ya did.”
“HALLO LADY, WHAT DOIN’?”
I simultaneously want Logie to stay this size forever, and grow up NOW because I want to see what she’s going to look like!
Emmy’s face cracks me up.
Oh, how I love little blue-eyed kittens.
“WHAT DOIN’, LADY? HUH? WHAT DOIN’?”
I don’t know what it is about this kind of blanket that makes kittens want to lick it, but every time I go into the room, there are more and more spots on the blanket (which is laying on a cat bed near the box) that have been licked and then dried.
“What? It’s yummy!”
This look on Emmy’s face kills me dead.
You know, I don’t know. It wasn’t a particularly hot day. Maybe this was Elwood’s way of flirting with Tommy?
Or maybe, like Sugarbutt, he just likes to keep things aired out.
Previously
2011: No entry.
2010: No entry.
2009: “Hey, Suggie,” I said, super-casual. “How’s it going?”
2008: I suppose that’s what I get for not having a job, ain’t it?
2007: I think you can imagine how very fucking thrilled I was.
2006: It’s a little-known fact that the butt is the tenderest and most flavorful part of the cashew.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: I’d have to have a mind before I lost it, wouldn’t I?
2002: Luckily, I’ve perfected the mental art of putting my hands over my ears and humming very loudly should my mind ever try to wander in that direction.
2001: While we were on the way to the movie store this afternoon, she turned to me and said “For my birthday” which is in October, by the way, “Can I get another kind of pet?”
2000: Since then, Fred and I, predictably, have referred to smoking pot – when seen in movies – as “Smoking the wheat.”
You know, I am not super partial to brown tabbies (despite owning one – and I think he’s beautiful), but Emmie is just GORGEOUS. I really hope she comes around enough to be adopted – she is so striking!
Hi Robyn. I was wondering why you prefer the Nose Offense over just using the hydrogen peroxide baking soda mixture all of the time? It seems it would be more economical just to use that.
Love little Darwins tilted head! So cute!!!
For two reasons, really. No, wait, three: 1. The Nose Offense is mixed up and ready to go, so I can just grab the bottle and go. The hydrogen peroxide stuff has to be mixed up and also, I’m not sure if the efficacy of that stuff stays the same if you keep it stored in a spray bottle or not (I’ve read that you should mix it up fresh each time), but it “leaks” out the top of the bottle if you try to store it, and makes a big mess. 2. The smell: Nose Offense is scentless (well, it does have a slight scent to it, there’s no such thing as completely without smell), whereas the hydrogen peroxide mix smells like Dawn. I like the smell of Dawn, but one thing I’ve come to realize is that if I use something that has a scent to it, after a while my brain links that smell to cat pee, and I honestly can’t tell if what I’m smelling is cat pee or the spray I’m using to clean it up. 3. The hydrogen peroxide mix has to sit, preferably until it’s dry. Since the cats spray on things like the bottom shelves of the bookcases (grrrr) and the front of the kitchen cabinets at the floor level (grrrr again), I can’t spray those down and leave a puddle there. The cats would be fine with it, I’m sure, but I can just about guarantee that I’d slip in the puddle and fall. 🙂 With the Nose Offense, you can spray, let it sit for a minute, and then wipe it up.
I swear to god, I am NOT getting a kickback from Nose Offense. I just love the stuff. 🙂
Yeah, you’d have to at least store the baking soda separately so it wouldn’t react, and you’d need to use a spray bottle that light can’t get through so the peroxide wouldn’t break down. I used to keep little spray bottles of peroxide and vinegar (separately) to sanitize the iguana’s food bowl (they carry salmonella, so you pretty much have to treat it as though you’re keeping raw chicken as a pet) but even though the bottle wasn’t see-through the peroxide seemed to lose its oomph if I didn’t dump it out and refill it once a week or so.
HEE – I’m stuck on raw chicken as a pet. Hey. I DO have raw chickens! Not as pets, but still… 🙂
“…..they’re all in tip top health. They’re just assholes” made me laugh out loud. Said like a woman who truly loves her kittehs. Mine are complete assholes at times too (and I adore each one of them), so I feel your pain. I need to get me some of that Nose Offense stuff. I have used another brand, which does take away the pee smell, but the lingering replacement smell of the solution that lasts for months, is as offensive to me as the original pee smell!
PS: I really shouldn’t read this at work – my coworkers think I am a bit “touched” with the laughing out loud, by myself. Thanks for always making me laugh before I get to work.
‘Tis my pleasure. 😉
I have to say, I was indeed wondering about whether or not there would be “replacements” after members of your herd complete the Circle of Life. NOT that any of them can be truly replaced (REPLACE Miz Poo??? Hardly…), but you know what I mean. That said, what are Fred’s thoughts on the matter?
I think that Fred is against letting the permanent population dwindle, but he won’t fight me on it. I’m kind of in charge when it comes to this, because I’m the one who cleans up the spray 99% of the time. 🙂
This does not surprise me. 😉
Lena used to act like she was spraying — she’d back her fluffy butt up against something and do the whole tail shake thing, but luckily there was never any actual spray. (Territorial butt pheromones?)
Stinkerbelle does that, too!
What’s wrong with my Snickers? No pee or spraying for 4 years.
You need more cats. 🙂 Keeping adding cats, and I promise you – the spraying will come!
Nice boots.
Goddammit – Nance beat me to the “nice boots” reply. Fine.
Chip has been an asshole in the last year – after 3 years with no cat pee anywhere he just decides to piddle in a couple of spots. Thankfully all on hardwood floors! Then he just stopped. There have been no changes in our family structure or routine and he was otherwise healthy…so…I guess they just get hit with a case of the assholes every now and then 😉
HEE – “A case of the assholes” I love it! (I mean, I don’t love it when they get a case of the assholes, but I love the diagnosis. 🙂 )
Here I am again with my helpful suggestions. While watching My Cat From Hell, Jackson Galaxy mentioned that it isn’t enough to get rid of the cat urine stain. He walks around with a black light and the people are always shocked at how much cat urine is all.over.their.house. Here is what he suggested http://www.fizzionclean.com/Fizzion/fizzion-how_it_works.html. Carbon based cleaner to remove ALL the cat urine signs. I saw before and after and it really works.
Oh believe me, I have a black light, and after I saw that episode of My Cat From Hell, I bought Fizzion. I’ve tried it, and for some reason it just doesn’t take care of the smell for us. Maybe I should try again.
Well, it was a suggestion from the expert but you just carry on doing what you do. Thanks for letting me know that it doesn’t work on the odor. Jackson Galaxy is a fibber. LOL
Now I’m trying to figure out if I used it wrong! How difficult can it be, right? Spray it on, let it dry? Maybe I was supposed to sacrifice a cat after I sprayed it on! 🙂
Darwin’s tilted head? Cutest. cat. picture. ever!!!!! (And you know how much I love Miz Poo.)
Robyn, I can’t imagine you and Fred with only five cats. How many would you have if you lived in, say, the Spelling Mansion? 😀
If I could afford the Spelling Mansion, I’d make “zones”, and each zone would have whatever number of cats could fit in that zone without peeing. And then I’d hire someone to scoop the litter boxes and spend all my time sitting and staring at kittens! 😀
Here’s my 2 cents about the kittens licking the blanket: have you tried licking the blanket yourself to see what the allure is? BC likes to lick the man’s elbow. I mean, he gets into it, he’s very industrious about it. So one day I gave it a lick. Admittedly, I still don’t get it, but you may have a different outcome.
I don’t like cat hair on my tongue!
(Once, I dared Fred to lick one of the cats on top of his head to see what they’d do and he DID. And then he was picking cat hair off his tongue for a week.)
Huh. Never thought of that. The man’s elbow isn’t all that hairy, so it wasn’t a big deal.
A woman from the rescue we got Ruby our Cocker Spaniel from recommended Massengil Medicated Vinegar Douche for cat urine. I haven’t needed it for cat stuff, spraying is the main reason I keep one cat. I’ll have to read about the Nose Offense to see if it helps with dog pee.
I’ve never heard that one! I’m going to have to go see what’s in those. I wonder what the reaction would be if I went in and bought 50 of them. 🙂
Kiefer luvs the fuzzy blanket. He bites them and makes biscuits and then – warning – gets into his manly groove. He thinks the blankies are better than a girlfriend! Only problem, I’m usually under the blankets.
Do you feel violated when he starts up, Val? 😀
Any chance they mistake the fuzzy blanket for mama’s belly and are trying to nurse off it?
I’m sure that’s it – this kind of blanket seems to get that response from a lot of our fosters.
I meant to comment yesterday when you were in a rage because those are your best posts (sorry, but it’s true!!) and then today you’re no longer in a rage but it’s an equally good post! And then the posts with the kitten pics are the best posts!
So the problem is I have to leave for work earlier and I can’t start off my day with Bitchypoo, although I do read it as soon as I can at work on my POS phone. But it’s hard to comment from said POS phone.
So really, *I’M* the whole problem.
I have two cats and am I kidding myself that no one is spraying/peeing anywhere? I should get a black light, shouldn’t I? And right after that, a gun.
If you don’t smell it, it’s not there. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! (Also, when we had 5 cats, it wasn’t an issue. I think it takes more than a few cats to get it to really ramp up – though also it depends on the cats!)
When we had ONE cat, Oregano, that fucker peed and sprayed and we didn’t know it until we were ripping up carpet! A stealth peeer/sprayer. Ruined bookshelves. Bastard. But oh how I adored him.
The cat pee story? That is our house. And it drives. me. crazy.
If it’s fabric like on an upholstered chair or couch, i find that a mixture of white vinegar and water, sponged rather than sprayed on, takes out not just the smell but the stain. It even worked on a white couch we had (the white part was under a slipcover. We aren’t QUITE that stupid, to actually buy a white couch!).
p.s. Do you use a regular flashlight, or just the black light thingy?
wow, that made no sense. What I meant was, the white part was just the raw base, covered in a white muslin fabric not meant to be seen… The slipcover I threw in the laundry.
Heh. I knew what you meant!
I usually use a regular flashlight when I’m looking around the house in the morning, because it’s too light to make a black light useful, but we do have a black light and I go around the house with it when it’s dark out every now and then. 99% of the sprays happen on or near the hardwood floors, and it’s easy to see with a regular flashlight.
Logie seems to be developing points like a Siamese, doesn’t she?
I can definitely see that!
OMG, I love my cat but if he peed like yours do I’d lose my mind. I can’t stand it when the litter box is a few days overdue being changed, I can’t imagine coming across it everywhere.