3/12/10 – Friday

It’s raining again. ::sob::   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   What will be the next product for Crooked Acres? You could take the brushings from George and Gracie, spin them into yarn and … Continue reading “3/12/10 – Friday”

It’s raining again.

::sob::

 

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What will be the next product for Crooked Acres? You could take the brushings from George and Gracie, spin them into yarn and crochet it into… kitty sweaters? knit it into afghans? sell the yarn to your weirdo readers who might use it for nefarious purposes?

I cannot imagine actually trying to gather all the fur we get off George and Gracie and clean it then spin it into yarn. At this point, while Fred’s brushing them, he tosses the fur onto the ground. It eventually disappears, but I don’t know whether it blows off into the next yard or birds gather it for their nests, or what. All I know is, I don’t have to deal with it, and that’s A-OK with me!

 

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Love you.
Love the cats.
But I REALLY love them pups.
What can I send Gracie and George for Easter? Baked goods? Toys? Donations to their favorite charities? (And those charities BETTER be dog-related 😉

If it MUST be a dog-related charity (hmph!), George and Gracie request a donation to Daddy’s Emergency Animal Rescue Fund provides assistance for dogs who are victims of abuse or violence, man-made disasters (hoarder and puppy mill rescues), and large-scale natural disasters (hurricanes, fires, and other natural catastrophes). They think that Cesar is a pretty great guy, and they both had doggy crushes on Daddy before he passed away in February.

Also, they would like you to come cover for them with the chickens. They have been working SO hard that they could use a vacation, maybe a trip to the Bahamas. I mean, honestly – LOOK how hard they work every single day, protecting those chickens!

Please note that Gracie, back there laying amongst the piles of discarded dog fur, doesn’t so much as stir the entire time I’m out there shooting pictures.

 

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I have 6 cats and I do one Petsmart run a month which entails 5 cases of Friskies canned and the bigger bag of Purina One. I always get the questions! Why do we feel obligated to explain ourselves?

Good question! And really, I’m not sure why people feel the need to ask, either – are they going to go home and say “Honey! I saw this woman buying 400 pounds of litter at Sam’s today, and she told me she has FIVE cats!”? I mean, what do I care whether some complete stranger knows that I have 11 cats or not? What’s the DIFFERENCE whether they know? Why do I feel so embarrassed when they ask?

 

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Not EVERYONE likes to carry things like stool softeners around in semi-transparent plastic bags. Hmmf.

NOT THE CORRECT ANSWER. I carry my own reusable grocery bags, so no one could see what the hell I had in there! (Of course, I guess they could be so accustomed to asking that it was just an automatic question, right?)

 

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I LOVE pickled bologna. It’s my Down Home Ohio treat every time I’m there.

I don’t like any kind of bologna, pickled or otherwise, but it’s certainly intriguing. They’ll pickle anything in the South, won’t they?

 

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I got all excited when you mentioned Fuddrucker’s in Fort Walton Beach, FL. I was there visiting a friend just last summer (she lives in Fort Walton Beach, not Fuddrucker’s). Which Fuddrucker’s was it? If it was the one with the alligators, I have a picture of me holding one of them (they made me hold one of the younger ones with his mouth taped shut. wusses). If it was the other one, my friend lives in one of the tall condo buildings just down the road. She lives on the 6th floor with a great view of the beach. All you have to do is take the elevator down to the first floor and you are on the beach. Heaven. The sand there is so beautiful. Blindingly white and so soft.

Apparently, I was mistaken. It was a Fuddrucker’s we went to in Fort Walton Beach, FL, it was Fudpucker. Seriously, what the hell?

Next time we go to Florida, I’ll make a point to visit the Fuddrucker’s with the alligators, because I’d love to hold one!

And I agree, the beach in Fort Walton and Destin is absolutely dazzling.

NOW I WANNA GO BACK TO FLORIDA!

 

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I went to college in a small town near a big city, and back before I went there, the little grocery store in town apparently kept all the condoms behind a locked glass cabinet. So, if people wanted condoms they had to go through a bunch of hoops. I never understood the religious right’s mindset that preventing people from using birth control is a good idea, I mean, aren’t abortions 10x worse than just using birth control? /tangent

Well, OBVIOUSLY, if one does not know (1) ABOUT sex (via sex education) and (2) how to PROTECT oneself from pregnancy, one will NOT have sex, and if one does not have sex, one cannot get pregnant. Like, DUH.

 

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The do you want your stool softeners in your purse is cracking me up. Cashiers need to mind their own business about those things. I guess a kid would have no clue how slow acting stool softeners are. Can you imagine if you bought the glycerin suppositories? I used to carry an extra bag to work and was known to have Tylenol and antacid in it. One day a coworker called me on the intercom to ask me if I had a MEDICATED DOUCHE in my bag. She felt an infection coming on and wanted to douche in the bathroom right there at work. EWWWWWW!!!! Doesn’t everyone carry an extra Vinegar Massengil in their tote bag?

Dude, seriously. Even if I DID carry a medicated douche in my bag, I wouldn’t tell ANYONE that I did over the damn intercom!

 

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Squee! I was just looking through the cat photos submitted to Pioneer Woman and saw Newtles!!! I hope you get picked!

These are the pictures I’ve submitted to Pioneer Woman‘s photography contest this week, and yet I have received no PW love. Ah well.

HOWEVER, Christine, who does my banners almost every month, DID get chosen – this one! – so keep your fingers crossed for her!

 

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Is Kara a Countess, what with the darling and everything? Oh how I hope you watched RHNYC! What a total bitchfest!

Kara WAY outclasses that damn Countess, let me tell you. I did watch the first episode of RHoNYC, but I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet. The Countess is far too impressed with herself and not nearly as classy as she thinks she is, in my opinion, DARLING.

I watched the first part of the OC reunion last night, and two things struck me – (1) Gretchen, the college graduate, does not know the definition of “karma.” Allllrighty. (2) Lynne thinks she’s the best mother she could possibly be. You know, Lynne. Whose daughters poured alcohol into their water bottles right in front of her and she didn’t notice. Whose daughter has repeatedly said that she can get away with anything, because her parents will never ground her. Yeah, that Lynne.

(Also, Tamra needs a haircut and some sort of defrizzing solution.)

 

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Has anyone seen Zombieland yet? I’m dying to see that. The preview looks good.

We saw it, and enjoyed it, it was a fun movie. How can you NOT enjoy any movie with Woody Harrelson in it, right?

 

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I LOVE recap sites! That is a fun one and I added it to my Reader … got any others you’d like to share??

I can’t think of any other recap sites, but if you guys have any to share (not necessarily just the Housewives, any fun recap site would be welcome!), leave the link in the comments, would you? I like Pretty on the Outside because it’s not a pages-long blow-by-blow recap site – it covers the show without requiring three hours of your time!

 

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Just wait until you try pork chops in the Ronco (did you get a basket with it?) We have also done a small roast in ours.

We did get a basket with our Ronco Showtime Rotisserie, and I’m looking forward to trying pork chops and roasts and this summer there’ll be rotisserie’d veggies galore!

 

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Are those daffodils coming up by the tree?

In the pic of Sugarbutt from yesterday, those are definitely daffodils coming up by the tree. It’s a testament to how long and cold our winter was this year as opposed to last year, that they haven’t bloomed yet. In pictures from last year at this time, we had daffodils blooming all over the place. Today, they’re not even budding yet.

Also, our Winter Honeysuckle bushes (by the front porch) are just now blooming – the past two years, they’ve bloomed in December and January!

 

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Spanky, in the back yard on a rare sunny day.

 

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Previously
2009: And then I realize that baby wasps grow up to be adult wasps, and I electrocute the shit out of those fuckers.
2008: “You realize,” I said to Fred as I watched Tommy diligently lick the top of Miss Stank’s head, “Even if we wanted to, we could never get a divorce.”
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: I’m a total freak.
2003: She’s home!
2002: Of course, my sympathy for him will only last until he poos in the hallway instead of the litter box again.
2001: I am the dumbest dumbass in the whole wide world, I really am.
2000: Sometimes, they lay on the floor and perform for us.

27 thoughts on “3/12/10 – Friday”

    1. That is both cool and creepy. I can’t imagine having a purse made from George and Gracie’s fur (or from Miz Poo’s or Jake and Elwood’s, etc.). Imagine the questions about THAT – “Nice purse, where’d you get it?” “Um…”

      1. I know of a woman who spun a GP dog hair scarf for a friend. It was actually gorgeous and a great keepsake as the dog had died.

        For a time I had Angora bunnies and spun their wool, those were my working pets :)The wool and finished products were SOOOO fluffy and warm.

        The problem with spinning dog hair is the odor. For some reasons you can get the smell out of sheep and bunny fiber but not dogs.

    1. Whoops! Sorry about that, Christine, I guess I need to pay attention to what the hell I’m doing. 😀 I’ve changed the link!

      1. I had a feeling you thought that other pic was mine! Thanks for posting mine though, I doubt I will win, but it would sure be cool if I did. BTW I love the pic you posted of Sugarbutt, that should have made the cut!

        1. What’s sad is that I actually SAW the picture on your Facebook page after you uploaded it, and still linked to the other one. Um… DUH. 🙂

  3. I missed the first RHoNY but I saw it last night and I am embarrassed to admit I am from NYC now. Dear God. They all need a pie in the face. Thinking who they are. Grumble grumble rassanfratzen jackasses. And what the hewdy hell with Kelly?

    Also I feel like a Total Idiot for (a) not seeing your blog list and asking you for it and then (b) spotting it less than one minute later.

    So, in sum, I’m embarrassed to be associated with those RHoNY itchbays AND I’m a Total Idiot.

    1. Believe me, you’re not the only one who doesn’t see the blog links list at first glance. I’m thinking I should add a text link to the other sidebar!

  4. My sister-in-law who lives in Georgia told me things are slow to bllom there this year too. It’s rainy here-will be all weekend. I’m just glad it’s rain and not snow.

    To be fair the coworker w/the douche question paged on the intercom but asked me the question on the private line. I was an the service desk w/other people and couldn’t stop laughing so I had to tell them. Douching isn’t healthy and who the hell would take one to work?OY!

    I agree Gretchen is not comming off as very bright or very good at expressing herself. “Giving birth doesn’t give you the God right to raise children.” Awkward!

    If anyone has so pathetic a life that they get thier jollies seeing my stool softeners or suppositories or whatever through my bag I say let the poor pathetic person have at it. If they are too young to need them thier day will come!

  5. Maybe they kept the condoms locked because they got stolen most often and religion had nothing to do with it.

    Amy (a left leaning atheist that would not be too embarrassed to buy BC from a locked cabinet)

    1. Oh no no no – they kept them locked up for religious reasons. The part of the country I was referring to is one of the most conservative, least educated, and most religious places in the country. One of the larger streets in a neighboring town has the most churches per square mile in the world. It’s also dry, lol.

      1. At the university I went to they sold them in vending machines in the dorms 🙂 I thought that was great. No embarrassment, easy to get. (BC Canada)

  7. The pictures of the dogs look like cotton picking time in the south! Little tufts blowing everywhere!

  8. I agree on Gretchen. Total ditz. I wonder what she majored in in college? I truly think Lynne is on drugs. Seriously, who doesn’t see their teenage daughters getting drunk in the limo? Especially when she knows the youngest one is always getting drunk. If they were my daughters, I don’t care if we were in a limo or not, I would be sitting right there watching what they were drinking. I predict she won’t be back next year. But, on the other hand, she is a true train wreck and that does attract viewers, like me!

  10. <>

    No, no, all your trees and lawns will start looking very nice and bright after the rain passes! Think spring! 😀

  11. I really like PW, but lately, her site is nothing but a bunch of re-hashed posts and old pictures.

    Also, in the world of hobby photography (and a lot of professional, which sucks) if you don’t use photoshop to make your picture something it really isn’t – you get no recognition. What ever happened to people who knew how to take amazing pictures without the aid of digital correction?

  12. Apparently, I was mistaken. It wasn’t a Fuddrucker’s we went to in Fort Walton Beach, FL, it was Fudpucker. Seriously, what the hell?

    That’s OK, I made the same mistake. Both places are Fudpuckers. I want to go back too but it is cold there right now. Love those alligators.

  13. Daddy’s Rescue Fund got a chunk of change, although I didn’t read the site other than the first page that came up. I am a wimp, and I just can’t read the stories. But what an absolutely fantastic organization. George and Gracie have EXCELLENT taste in charities.

    And I’ll be there shortly to rescue them from the life of abject slavery to which you’ve subjected them. O! THE HUMANITY AND ALL THE PUPS!!!

    PS HOW could PW NOT pick the two kitties fighting??? Is she BLIND??????

  14. 1)when my friend’s husband got a vasectomy, he decided to make him a bouquet of condoms filled with helium (we used to own a party supply company until party city moved in across the street!).

    i bought a box of a dozen cheapo unlubes (cuz gross!) at wal-mart. after she rang it up, she leaned across the bagging area and whispered, “honey, do you want to put these in your pocketbook for later?” UM NO! I THINK I WILL HAVE PROTECTED SEX IN FRONT OF YOUR REGISTER!

    2)i used to work for a company that filled commissary orders from jails. when we would run out of things between shipments, we would buy stuff at the little discount place down the street- they were open to the public but we could use for bulk orders at a discount. i was down there one day doing a pick up and the check-out line was extremely slow. i was shooting the breeze with the woman in front of me and i told her i didn’t care how long it took because i was in no hurry to go back to work.

    the woman looked down at the stuff in my cart and looked up at me with the crazy eyes.”where exactly do you work?” she asked.

    i looked down at the basket and realized i was pushing a cart with 4 CASES of medicated douches in it!

    i explained it to her, we laughed it off and finally i made it to the car with my purchases.

    then i got that thought that makes you laugh so hard you almost pee your pants: if i needed 196 medicated douches to get through my day, i would probably, in all honesty, would REALLY be in no hurry to get back to work!

  15. I didn’t know Daddy had died until I read your post:( I really loved him because he walked just like my old dog who is coming up to 15 years old. Why can’t they live forever?

  16. Ran across a website today I thought you might enjoy:

    Strange Maine

    http://strangemaine.blogspot.com/

    From the intro: Founded 2005! Freaks. Weirdos. Unmapped roads. Whispering rocks. Deadening fog. Ghost pirates. Lonely islands. THINGS in the WOODS. Home of Stephen King & Glenn Chadbourne. A place where the 4 seasons really know how to live. Maine: the way life should be! This site is a nexus for conversation about Maine’s unique strangeness, people who love it, people who have experienced it, & people who are intrigued by it. History, mysteries, legends, current events, cryptozoology, & more.

    The writer has a deal in works for a book based on his blog. Interesting.

    As for PW, is it just me, or does anyone else find it strange there is NEVER even a barn cat in her photos? Surely there must be a few cats around their large acreage. And since she always oozes loves for the dogs (I love both cats & dogs), I wonder if she is one of those folks who just doesn’t “get it” about cats?

  17. We had two Great Pyrs, one just crossed over the Rainbow Bridge, but the hair they leave behind is unreal. You would think they would be bald. most people do not realize that they are nocturnal. They sleep during the day as the animals that prey on their keep are nocturnal too. So they are ready and waiting for that fox that lerks during the night.

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