Oh, readers.
Readers, readers, readers. You disappoint me, greatly. You make me tearful and sad. I made a bet with Fred, and y’all let me down.
Last week I posted:
Y’all said: NOTHING, because you totally missed:
Hmph.
And I also posted:
Y’all said: NOTHING (though probably you were thinking Oh look, an exciting picture of Robyn’s hospital room. Could she BE any more boring?), because you totally missed:
And then I posted:
You: Nada.
And lastly:
You: Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Hmph.
HMPH I SAY.
Considering how, back in October, I posted a pic of my canning cabinet, and y’all were like “ZOINKS! IS THAT A BABY CHICK IN THAT JAR?! ARE YOU CANNING BABY CHICKS?! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?!” in about ten seconds flat, I expected more from you.
(The pic in question: )
I told Fred before I posted those pictures last week, that I was sure by comment #3, someone would be all “Um. Is that that doll you showed us a few weeks ago, peeking creepily from one side of the picture, or have I just gone insane?”, but nada.
Nothing.
No one noticed!
Ah well. I have to admit to you that we giggled like the great big dorks we are when we were setting up those pictures, so it was worth it, even though no one else got the joke.
I had an appointment with my gynecologist yesterday (thus the lack of update), and it was the first time I’d driven since surgery. The driving went fine, and the appointment went fine, too. She was just checking my incision and checking in with me to see how I’m feeling. I got another four weeks’ worth of estrogen patches. So far, the estrogen patches seem to be working okay, but I think it’s too early to declare that we’ve found my dosage. Who knows what my body’s going to be pulling in the next few months?
I have developed, due to the surgery, a lovely little pot belly. She told me that eventually it would go away. IT BETTER, is all I’m saying. I didn’t pay for that damn lower body lift to end up with a pot belly, damnit.
These days, I’m spending my days wearing a pair of pajama pants that are about two sizes too big, and a sweatshirt. The pajama pants are perfect, because they don’t put any pressure on my swollen guts. I can wear jeans for a little while, as long as I don’t tighten the belt all the way, but the instant I get home it’s back into the pajama pants for me. (I think the kids call them “sleep pants” these days.)
Sunday, I felt so good that Fred and I actually went up to the flea market in Tennessee and walked around for about an hour. Fred bought three $3 t-shirts, and I bought a box of Girl Scout Cookies. They were out of Samoas (DAMNIT), so I got the chocolate/ peanut butter ones.
There were a lot of puppies for sale at that flea market. I came thisclose to throwing a temper tantrum and demanding that Fred let me buy a tiny little Shih-Tzu/ Yorkie puppy, but then I came to my senses and remembered that we’re not dogs (in the house) people. And especially we’re not buying-dogs-at-the-flea-market people when so many dogs are languishing in shelters, needing homes.
S/He sure was a cutie, though.
I have been a TV-watching fool while I’m recovering from surgery. I actually ran out of stuff on the DVR, and had to flip wildly through the channels and set up to tape more stuff. I watched the biographies of Kristy McNichol and Carrie Underwood last week, and I still have Val Kilmer and Leonardo DiCaprio to watch. I started taping Ellen again, to add to my Dr. Phil and Oprah episodes (I don’t watch every episode of Oprah or of Dr. Phil – usually they have five minutes to catch my attention before I delete it).
I am caught up on Hoarders – I think I watched about ten episodes in the last week and a half. Are you watching Hoarders? You totally should, because it is an utterly fascinating show. The hoarders on that show seem to be divided into two camps – the people who hoard stuff but manage to get the garbage out of the house, and the people who have a house full of stuff AND garbage. I mean, seriously, the lady with the house full of adult diapers? What the holy hell must that house have smelled like? And the people with dead animals under piles of stuff? AGH.
These hoarders, god almighty, they ALWAYS seem to have cats. And they NEVER seem to clean UP after the cats. Okay, MAYBE I’m guilty of not cleaning up a pile of cat barf if I think Fred will see it and clean it up within an hour or so, but I don’t leave it there for DAYS MONTHS YEARS. And I would never ever leave a pile of crap laying on the floor for longer than it took me to stand over it in disbelief, swear a blue streak, and then find the cleaning stuff. If I catch even the slightest hint of cat pee, I’m a woman on a mission, walking around sniffing wildly, the spray in one hand and the cleaning rag in the other. Ask Fred – I must ask him a million times a week “DO YOU SMELL CAT PEE?” and “SMELL THAT CAT BED OVER THERE AND MAKE SURE IT DOESN’T HAVE PEE ON IT.”
The problem is that anything with the slightest chemical smell to it can initially smell like cat pee to me. There are these cord protectors that are, “infused” with a citrus scent, to deter cats (and other small animals) from chewing on them. To me, these cord protectors do NOT smell like citrus. They smell like cat pee with the slightest side of ass, at least the first whiff does. All the cords in the foster room are covered by the protectors, and most of the cords in my room are, and so are the cords in the guest bedroom. Any place where kittens might chew on cords, are these cord protectors. So I spend a LOT of time walking around my house going “OH. Is that CAT PEE?!”, sniffing wildly, and then determining that it’s the cord protectors I’m smelling.
Um. Look at me, I got distracted there. That was NOT where I meant to go when I started talking about the hoarders.
Where I meant to go, was to tell y’all that there hasn’t been one single episode of Hoarders where I haven’t spotted at least one Amazon box, and at least one Target bag. Every single episode. If I were the drinking sort, I’d make up a drinking game where you did a shot every time you spotted a Target bag or Amazon box. Then you could do a shot every time someone hovered tearfully over a piece of garbage and ended up deciding to keep it. And a shot every time someone’s family member got fed up and stomped off.
Actually, a better game would be one where every time you spotted a Target bag/ Amazon box, you pause the show and go find something to toss in the trash. Your house would be clean in no time!
Truly, I do not know how the therapists and organizers deal with this shit. The first time my client was all dithery about whether or not to keep the stack of classified ads from 1998 or the pile of unopened Target bags that were brought directly home from the store and tossed in a corner of the room, I’d be snatching that shit from their hands and screaming “GET OVER IT!” in their faces. I get really impatient while I’m watching the show. I mean, are you KIDDING ME, you have a pile of bags from the store chest-high, that you never touched once you brought them home, and somehow you’re SO attached to this shit that the idea of seeing it thrown out pushes you to the point of a nervous breakdown? SERIOUSLY?
I also – JUST MY OPINION – think that when your house is so stuffed with crap that your partner has fallen down the stairs and broken her leg because of it, and your response is to get overwhelmed and declare that you’re not getting rid of anything at all, that is incredibly fucking selfish on your part, and FUCK YOUR DISEASE.
See? I’d be a horrible therapist.
I’ve also powered my way through one and a half seasons of Californication, and I have to admit to you that I am loving that damn show. I’ve never really watched David Duchovny in anything, but I like him in this show, and I LOVE the holy hell out of Marcy. She’s like a tiny, younger, funny Demi Moore. Truly, the only character who annoys me is Mia and even she’s starting to grow on me.
The second disc for Season 2 is on the way from Netflix, and I’ll likely get it watched in an afternoon. THEN what the hell am I going to watch?
Suggestions?
Thanks for all your comments regarding Hoyt. Someone is seriously interested in adopting him, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that that works out. Y’all keep your fingers crossed, too, and I’ll be sure to let y’all know more when there’s more to know. 🙂
Lena posted in her blog that her son – who lives in Jacksonville, Florida – found this poor, malnourished pit bull. Look at the pictures of that poor dog, is he not the most pitiful thing?
Wes is pretty sure that his homeowner’s policy won’t allow him to keep a pit bull, so he needs help – if you’re in the Jacksonville area and you’re willing to foster or adopt this sweet boy or know someone who will, contact Wes (email address is toward the bottom of this page).
Has everyone read about little Myron, Sue’s sweet foster boy?
Bad news: Myron tested positive for Feline Leukemia.
Good news: Sue found a great shelter with a small Feline Leukemia ward, willing to take him!
I love Myron because he reminds me more than a little of my sweet Mikey (who is now Aaron & Marian’s beloved Topher). I think it is absolutely awesome that there’s a facility willing to take sweet Myron.
You can make a donation to Purrfect Pals here.
(And keep your fingers crossed that the lottery ticket we bought yesterday wins. How amazing would it be to have a small facility devoted to taking care of special needs cats? I’d love to be able to do that!)
Hey, look who we’ve got pictures of!
That’s sweet Clairee.
And Drum and Clairee!
They are reportedly very happy in their new home, and their new parents adore them and are glad they adopted both of them. I mean, seriously – have you ever seen such happy monkeys?
“Do I need to come over there and smack you around a little, perhaps?”
Previously
2009: They are weird-looking and obnoxious.
2008: No entry.
2007: Seriously, I might be a bit lackadaisical in my housekeeping, but I wouldn’t let CAT POO sit around on the floor, let alone let it show up in a picture!
2006: Second of all, we both hate our voices and to release them forth into the world would be a cruelty beyond measure.
2005: Impromptu day off.
2004: I’m going to save a fortune on tampons, that’s for sure.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: Damn that Sam’s.
2000: Heartless bastard.
For your viewing pleasure I’ll suggest The Invention of Lying, That Mitchell and Webb look, The Garden, Paperclips, and Best in Show.
Since you are running low on things to watch, may I suggest AGAIN that you watch Firefly! That really, really was a great show, half your readers loved it and we can’t all be wrong! 😉
Oh, Firefly! I did watch the first couple of discs, then apparently forgot about it. Off I go to add it to my queue! 🙂
FIREFLY. If you don’t love, well, everybody on that show, I will eat my hat.
Yes, FIREFLY!!
How about Freaks & Geeks, too. Love that show. Netflix has it.
And plus, we were all way too worried about you to see that tiny creepy little doll in those pictures!!
I agree with Sharon. We weren’t looking around the room with a fine tooth comb, we were only looking at you lying in that bed and knowing what was soon in store for you. Who knew all the while we were being PUNKED!! Leave it to you, Robyn, to be setting us all up instead of being concerned for yourself and the fact that you would soon be sliced open! Yes, I did indeed notice the chick in the jar in your previous post but I didn’t comment on it. Then when I read that you had set us all up I was tickled that the joke was on us. Now that we have your number, we will all be on the lookout in future pictures for anything that looks out of the ordinary. You are such a little stinker and you have a devious mind. I guess that’s one of the reasons we all keep reading your blog – we never know what you are going to do or say next. Oh, by the way, I’m really glad you are doing well and will soon be back to 100% and back to your normal naughtiness.
Ha – now you’re all going to be paranoid! “IS THAT THE DOLL I SEE?!” “No, that’s just a cat.” “THE DOLL! I SEE THE DOLL!” “No, that’s just a shadow.” Hee!
You two are a hoot. Now I will be assessing every freaking picture.
Too sad about that pit bull. Hoping he has already been adopted, poor dear..
I suggest The Tudors. I am almost caught up (Netflix) so when it starts again I will be current. King Henry is a festering turd but the show is really great. Trifle bloody. Also I suggest Mad Men. The first two seasons of Mad Men are available on Netflix and the third comes out next month, I think. I don’t know when that one starts up again, though.
You already watch Dexter, I think, or that would be my top suggestion.
(Oh Lord, I hope you don’t already watch all my suggestions or I will be branded SKIMMAH!)
I think you would be a BRILLIANT therapist. That is the kind of therapy those people need. I keep trying to watch Hoarders and I keep getting freaked out as soon as I suspect there is an odor. I can NOT understand how people live like that AND get defensive about it. I end up changing the channel almost immediately.
Can’t believe we all missed that creepy doll head!
You are not a skimmah – I do have The Tudors in my queue, I just need to move it up (I forgot it was there!) and I had completely forgotten that I need to check out Mad Men, too. That looks like my kinda show!
I’ve never been good at those Eye-Spy type things. Never saw the chicks in the jars.
In other news, I am SO WITH YOU on the hoarders. I haven’t seen the show, but my god.. I can only imagine. I have to purge my room about every six months or I go a little crazy. It was insane how much shit I was keeping in between coming back and forth between college because I almost had two bedrooms most of the year. When I came home for the summer.. stuff would instantly just go into the basement for three months.
After coming home from Florida this last time, I did a SERIOUS purge. Don’t miss half the shit.
Need to find this show..
Ashleas, you can read about it , and though I haven’t checked it out myself, from what I hear, you can watch full episodes on the site.
Reaper – it was a TV show that ran 2 seasons. A guy is forced to work for the devil catching escaped souls from hell. And it’s HILARIOUS, a comedy more than anything. I could mail you the DVDs even…email me if you want them.
We watched that! It’s been canceled though, right? I noticed the DVR wasn’t picking up any episodes this year!
I’ve never seen Reapers, but Dead Like Me sounds similar and I loved it! It also ran two seasons, with a tv movie to boot.
YES! Reaper was soooo good and funny! The chubby dude has a new show starting soon, I forget what network. Damn!
For your viewing pleasure, I suggest “The U.S. of Tara” with Toni Collette (Showtime). Hubby and I just started watching them last weekend, and have watched 10 episodes so far. We love alot of the same shows you like, Dexter and Californication included. Also, I don’t know if it’s available on Netflix, but USA had a one-season show with Debra Messing called “The Starter Wife” that we thought was brilliant.
If you haven’t seen The Wire, you should! It’s just the best thing that’s ever been on television. I am not kidding.
Or Weeds, or Six Feet Under.
I’m glad you’re feeling better!
LOVE The Wire! I’m Netflixing it now… Was interested in it since I work in Baltimore City and I when I watch I’m seeing a lot of places that I see every day. Homocide is next for me…
Have you tried watching all the season’s of Weeds available from Netflix. Just the best TV stuff I’ve ever watched…enthralling. You will LOVE it.
Oh definitely, I am up to date on Weeds. I LOVE that show – I can’t wait ’til the next season comes out on DVD!
Glad you checkup went well. Clariee & Drum look happy as little clams curled up together. What gorgeous kitties they are, even becoming more beautiful with time. Happy they got adopted together! I bet you are getting anxious for more fosters yet enjoying a bit of time without the beebees!
I want a Yorkie someday, but I’ll have to go about it very delicately since Rambo (my minpin) is alpha dog and NOT inclined to share his territory except with my Doxie.
Ha! I cackled like a lunatic over that creepy ass doll!I can’t believe none of us spotted it. You are just too slick for us. 🙂
Thanks very much for spreading the word about “Skeletor” (that’s the poor starving dogs new nickname)
I know all the cool animal lovers read Bitchypoo .
Wes will be updating the link I put on my side bar ,about his progress.
Glad you are back to being able to drive and all. The pot belly only lasts about 10 years. (just kidding)
Thanks again! Lena
My only excuse is that I missed seeing the canned chicks when you first posted them! Not so observant I guess!
I haven’t had HBO in years and have been catching up with a few of their shows on DVD. In the middle of Six Feet Under right now and love it. Also Dead Like Me, but didn’t like the movie that came after the series. I’ll watch anything with Mandy Patinkin!
Weeds, definitely Weeds!!!
Two thumbs up to Weeds! 🙂
I share your disgust and impatience with the hoarders. However, I can’t watch the show; it just makes me too freaking anxious. I am the polar opposite of a hoarder, so seeing all the CRAP laying around makes me want to take two Xanax and lay down with a cool cloth on my forehead.
hoarders? all up in it. those crazy asses make me clean my house like martha stewart on crystal meth. so far i have not unearthed any dead pets or dirty diapers, but i did find the remote to the stereo we had 22 years ago!
can’t they hook up the nutz with one of those home make-over shows? just because they are hoarders doesn’t mean they can’t have a cute place until they junk it up again!
The “creepy doll” pictures cracked me up!
I am hooked on “Criminal Minds.” It does get a bit bloody and gory for me at times, but I love the cast. And I like “Big Bang Theory” too. It never fails to cheer me up. 😀
I agree with you about Hoarders. Every time I watch that show, I feel like cleaning my house.
Friday Night Lights – Season 1 and Season 3. Skip Season 2!
Wow, completely second Friday night Lights. Love that show. Also really like medium.
Then I shall add Friday Night Lights to my list of shows to check out! 🙂
If you want to laugh, try Corner Gas and/or Ellen (her sitcom). I just watched season 2 of Ellen and could not stop laughing! Netflix has them both.
Oh, I’ve seen every episode of Ellen – watched it when it was originally on TV, even. She is one FUNNY woman! I haven’t heard of Corner Gas, I’ll go check it out!
I lurve me some BIG LOVE. Glad you are feeling better. For the record, I did not see the doll either. But that’s ok I’ll be looking next time.
I can’t wait for the next season of Big Love to come out on DVD – we canceled HBO after the last season aired, so now I’m dying to see it again!
I’ve been working my way through Entourage while I recover. Have you seen it? I LOVE it!!!
Oh yeah, I LOVE it. Especially Turtle. He’s my secret boyfriend. 🙂
Californication is AWESOME!!! Mia is a pain in the ass, yes. I love David Duchovny in this. I just keep wondering is he so good in this role because he’s also a sex addict in real life or did he become a sex addict because this role was just so damn fun? I know that is stupid but this show is just delicious. Loves it! Glad you found it!
I wondered that exact same thing. 🙂
I missed the doll too. I’m not that observant either-missed the chicks before too. I was too caught up in hospital envy-your room and gown and having your own phone line w/o an operator involved! You and Fred are so funny-what a great way to distract yourself before surgery! I love Californication,Six Feet Under, The Wire, Dead Like Me, U S of Tara, Nurse Jackie. Men Of a Certain Age just finished up last night for the season and I loved it-middle aged funny guys.I’m addicted to House, Bones, Grey’s Anatomy ,Private Practice, Medium, Mercy, and The Good Wife. I’m looking forward to The Tudors starting back up and the final season of Saving Grace. Yes I watch too much tv-that and the computer are the main reason I am STILL reading The Dark Tower. Only a hundred and sixty pages to go-I almost don’t want to let go of it now.
Ha! Have you and Fred watched the movie “UP” yet Robyn? In it, there is a talking dog, and your distraction that caused you to switch topics and discuss the smell of cat pee in your house is a “SQUIRREL!” moment!
I too recommend Dexter and Nurse Jackie, as Well as The united States of Tara.
I know you’ve mentioned The L Word once or twice-have you ever seen the male version, Queer as Folk?
How excited was I see that Nurse Jackie IS out on DVD – onto the Netflix queue it goes!
Actually, I did try watching Queer as Folk a few years ago, but I didn’t want the spud to come into the room while I was watching it, so I put it on hold. And forgot about it, of course! 🙂
Oh, and I *have* seen “Up” (watched it while I was in Maine), and I agree, that was a total “SQUIRREL!” moment. 🙂
I’ve just seen all three “seasons” of the web shows “The Guild” and “You Suck at Photoshop” — I am ridiculously giddy-cakes in love with them, especially The Guild. Maybe everyone else in the universe is all *yawn* yes, we know ALL about web shows, but , I’ve just discovered them.
Grab the seasons of “Dead Like Me”. Very dark humor, pretty awesome.
~Juby
Can’t remember if you’ve ever mentioned watching Flight of the Conchords. Some of the songs are hilarious!
I totally missed that creepy doll in all the pictures, but I was distracted by that gown which you loved and I HATED when I did my outpatient surgery last month on the ankle. I sweated in that thing and wanted the old fashioned gown. But I’m glad it made you cozy! I think you need to burn that creepy doll though.
I’m one of those annoying people who’s always cold (especially when I’m nervous), so it was a godsend to me! 🙂
Is it coincidence that on this day in 2007 someone thought there was cat poo on the floor (that would be coincidental with BOTH Hoarding and the Hidden Item in the picture conversations.)
I noticed that after I posted the entry! Apparently cat poop is a recurring them here on Bitchypoo, go figure. 🙂
I just discovered Leverage. Love it.
“Carrier Underwood?” LOL Sorry, that cracked me up. The creepy doll was funny though too! 🙂
I have to admit that I didn’t read any comments this time because there were just too many – BUT – to answer your question re: Californication – my husband watched and watches all episodes on NinjaVideo.net . It’s not a “trusted” site yet, and you have to download an applet to play it. But he watches movies that are still in the theaters! (Also, we haven’t had any problems with it.)
Sorry I didn’t notice your freaky doll.
Ooh, thanks – I’m going to check that out!
I don’t know if you have Starz or not (Pay movie channel) but they have a new series called “Spartacus : Blood and Sand” and it is turning out to be pretty good. Comes on Friday nights and again on Sunday night.
I’ve seen the ad for that show, but I’m pretty sure we don’t get Starz. I think we just need to suck it up and get HBO and Showtime and all the pay channels back, because the waiting for stuff to come out on DVD is killing me!
You mean you’ve never watched the X-files?!
(I don’t have to ask if Fred watched it..)
Have you seen Pushing Daisies? (-“Robyn: SKIMMER!!” 🙂 It’s great, with musical parts!
I have actually never seen the X-files, believe it or not!
We watched the first episode of Pushing Daisies when it was on TV, but someone (not me!) didn’t like it, so we didn’t pursue it. Actually, it’s strange that he didn’t like it, since he’s so into the musicals. I think I’m going to give it a try, though!
I sent that kid $20 for the pitt. What a poor baby. That breed is so badly abused, it is heartbreaking. I hope they’re able to get him neutered and re-homed. When people are having trouble, I always suggest just going to Petfinder and calling every rescue group on the list and seeing if anybody can help, even with a courtesy listing.
And could Drum and Clairee be any cuter?? Sheesh!
TV Shows to watch: Battlestar Galactica (totally cheesy but AWESOME), Chuck, How I Met Your Mother (Neil Patrick Harris is AWESOME, as is Jason Segel), Six Feet Under, Deadwood, Breaking Bad, The Tudors (OMG SO TRASHY I LOOOVE IT, but dudes WILL NOT watch it, in my experience)…. Is that enough?? All available via netflix.
OH OH OH PARTY DOWN. It’s streaming on Netflix, but it’s the funniest show I’ve seen since Arrested Development (*a moment of silence*) went off the air.