2/17/06

* * * First of all Ace – that really cute guy on American Idol – looks JUST like the bastard child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. Second of all, would someone PLEASE do SOMETHING about Simon Cowell’s hair? I know I’m no great arbiter of popular fashion or anything, but every time I see Simon’s hair, it makes me cringe. It wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t a freakin’ PART in the middle of what appears to be an attempt at a flat-top or semi-spiked hair, but the part makes it awful. Third of all, we were thrilled to see Gray Man, Cute Little Geek with Glasses and Bald Man with Facial Hair make it through to the final 12 men, and as for the women we were glad to see Little ‘n Squeaky get through – though there was no doubt she would; the judges loved her the first time they set eyes on her. (Can you tell we didn’t catch anyone’s name?)

* * *
So I went for a walk yesterday morning; I’m up to 2.08 miles in around 40 minutes, which is good for someone with short ‘n stubby legs, I think. Anyway, near the end of my walk as I approached the turn to my street, I noticed that there were a couple of women walking about 50 feet ahead of me, each walking a small and yappy (but cute!) dog. I hoped they’d go straight instead of turning left, because if they turned left on to my street, they’d get to the end before me, and then turn and walk back up the street, and I would pass them, and I would smile and say good morning to them, and they’d look me up and down and smirk at each other and NOT SAY ANYTHING BACK. Don’t call me paranoid – it happens to me ALL THE TIME. Because I’m a fat chick dressed in a shlubby manner, and the instant I start to sweat when I’m exercising, I get bright red and no doubt look like a heart attack about to happen, or in the process of happening. And don’t tell me it’s because they don’t hear me say “Good morning!”, because I say it with a great big smile, and say it loud enough for anyone to hear. They’re just snobs in their spandex and cute little t-shirts with their tiny little dogs. Well, to be fair, not ALL of them, but the majority of them. I’m sure YOU are not a snob in your spandex and cute little t-shirt with their tiny little dogs. You’d say “Good Morning” or “Hi” back to me, wouldn’t you? Of course you would. Anyway. So these women turned onto my street, and I sighed a big martyred sigh of martyrdom, and prepared to smile and say “Good morning!” and be ignored. Only, halfway down the street they stopped, and the little white dog belonging to one of the women trotted over into someone’s yard and proceeded to “use the facilities.” In a big way. Almost as big as the dog itself, that’s how big. And the women looked at each other, and they stood there while the dog did its business, and I grew closer and closer. And then they turned around and they saw me, and they looked at each other again. As if they were mimes, they made big gestures at each other that clearly conveyed “Whatever shall we do now?” One of them pointed out a newspaper (laying in a plastic bag) in the driveway across the street, and the other one made a production of dragging her dog across the street to the newspaper, then gestured to the poopin’-dog-owner about how she was going to carry it up to the house of the person it belonged to, and ask if it was okay to use the plastic bag. At this point, I passed them, not bothering to look at either of them, and just barely restrained myself from rolling my eyes at them. Because I think it’s pretty clear that if no one else had been around, that pile of dog shit would have sat there until the END OF TIME. I mean, who the hell takes their dog for a long walk and doesn’t bring something to pick up the poop with? Is it a complete shock and mystery to these women that their dogs are going to want to stop and poop at some point during a walk longer than three minutes? And how do they USUALLY pick up dog poop? That’s right. THEY DON’T. At least they picked it up this time, because I had prepared a scathing statement* to say to them if they’d just walked off and left it there. *Instead of smiling and saying “Good morning”, I was going to say “Seriously? You’re going to leave that pile of dog shit on a stranger’s lawn? SERIOUSLY?” and scowl. That, or “I’m glad that’s not MY lawn, ’cause I’d kick your skinny ass to hell and back. And your little dog, too!” And those women would have SOBBED like big BABIES, because my mean face is a scary one.
I’ve gotten back into cross-stitching in the last week or so; I think I stopped cross-stitching when we had Rambo and Jodie, because it was just too much of a pain to keep them from playing with the threads, and I just never started again. At the moment I’m concentrating on getting through all the ornament kits I have before I start anything big. Anyway, I think that many times a picture looks better when it’s not outlined. I kind of like the abstract-ness of it, I guess. For instance:
I guess the “after” isn’t too bad – but I really kind of preferred the “before”. Oh, and while I’m sharing pictures (non-cat pictures, I should say), my brother and sister-in-law sent me flowers after the other flowers I’d gotten had pretty much died. When I talked to my brother, he indicated that there was something different about these flowers. And he was right – there was. It was a bunch of yellow and white flowers – daisies, maybe? I’m not good with flower identification – but once I opened the box the whole way, I realized there was something else in the box.
It cracks me up, every time I walk into my bedroom and see it there, smiling beatifically at me. You might not be able to tell, but when the stem isn’t wrapped around the bookcase, the whole thing is about four feet tall. And the “flower” is huge – maybe close to two feet across? I haven’t named her (obviously it’s a “her”) yet. Suggestions?
* * *
Tommy in motion. Spot warily checks out the situation. “Torties are NOT BITCHY! And if you say it again, I’ll CUT YOU, you understand me?” Daffodils are starting to bloom! Woot!
There are a buttload of outside kitty pictures up over at Flickr, here.
* * *
Previously 2005: I feel like every time I run an errand in the Jeep I’m tempting Fate. 2004: I am blogrolling’s bitch. 2003: We figured if nothing else, we’d just start killing and eating cats. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: ***Warning! Adult language and situations ahead! Skip the first three paragraphs if you’re easily offended***]]>

41 thoughts on “2/17/06”

  1. I don’t understand snobs, and I hope I never do. OF COURSE I would say hi to you, and if you were beet red, I’d probably offer a sip of water, too, and then you’d want to pet my large, non-yappy dog. I say hi to everyone when I’m walking, and most folks say hi back, and I HATE the ones who don’t, unless they are old, and then I just figure they are cranky or scared I’m going to mug ’em.

  2. Love the kitty pics! For some reason I never realized that Spot’s hind legs were black. He really has such interesting markings.
    I HATE it when people don’t clean up after their dogs. We have 2 large Golden Retrievers that I walk daily – poo bags in hand. It’s just part of being a dogowner, whether the dog is wee or enormous. For people like those that you encountered, I would try to get my dogs to poo in their yard and “accidentally” not have anything with me to clean it up. Morons!

  5. I guess my thing is that I don’t really want to talk to any of my neighbors. I’ll usually at least nod at them. And luckily my dog doesn’t shit when I walk him. I have picked up shit in our yard from our neighbor’s dog and put it back in their yard. I wish they’d have been out there to see me do it. Maybe I’ll just collect it in a bag….whoa. Putting the crazy in crazy cat lady there.

  6. I never noticed his back legs were black either. Very cool though.
    That Poo is just one gorgeous kitty!!
    And one question, have the two new boys been zapped by the collars yet?

  10. Um, I totally want to raid your bookshelf. You have so many good books on there that I have already read (like Social Crimes – did you like that one? I couldn’t get into it at first but then a few chapters into it I couldn’t put it down), so I’m sure I’d like the others there that I haven’t read. There is just not enough time in the day to get in the amount of reading I would like.

  11. I love walking outside, but I get the same treatment from the young, thin people, starting with the criticizing staredown on the approach. Then when I say ‘hi’ I either get ignored, or I get a snarly grunt like it took all of their energy and effort to acknowledge my worthless existence. Of course, they wouldnt lower themselves to move a bit out of my way to let me pass. So, I have to step into the road, and they always travel in packs.
    Even more charming are the young guys who sit on their porch, watching you walk by, and then make comments once you pass. Its why I’ll be deaf in a few years because I’ve taken to listening to loud music rather than not walking. People suck.
    Of course, every now and then, I’ll pass someone like me and its always nice to see the relief on her face – I imagine mine must show the same expression. Those are the friendlist encounters and, unfortunately, are all too rare.
    Time to buy a treadmill 🙂

  12. Robyn-
    Please email me your PO Box. I want to send you one of my protein packs to try. Well, not mine in as I MADE it or invented it or anything but I think you will really love it.
    Take care,
    Tawnya.

  13. When my husband and I walk our dogs, we’ve also noticed the people in our neighborhood are rude “non-greeters” too. I then spend the rest of the walk muttering the things I wish I had the guts to say to them. Bastards.

  14. Well MY Tortie is bitchy but perhaps she’s just “special”.
    I don’t understand people who don’t carry poo bags either. My Dog has YET to poop on a walk (watch he’ll do it today to prove me wrong) but I always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have a little bone shaped poo bag holder attached to my leash.
    Non-greeters suck. End of story.
    Have a great weekend Robyn!

  15. AND, the people who don’t pick up the poop make it hell for those of us who do! We ALWAYS pick up our dog’s poo, even in the dead of night when he picks the one place on the street that isn’t lit up by the street lights.
    But there are lots of people in the neighborhood who don’t. So, when we’re walking Fred, we get dirty looks from the neighbors who assume we’re members of the non-picker-upper club. But we’re NOT! We’re the good guys!
    Hissy fit over.

  16. I’m not really a people person, so I tend to avoid my neighbors if at all possible. Before I go out to the car or to the mailbox, I peek out the door to make sure I won’t have to make chit chat with anyone.
    I have a tortie, named Dee Dee. She is usually the most friendly of our 4 cats, but if you bother her when she’s in one of her moods, she’ll growl at you. Heh.

  17. Bonnie: I know that Tommy’s been zapped – Fred actually witnessed it – and we both saw Sugarbutt get zapped, poor baby. Didn’t have the camera handy, though, darn it!
    Ladybug: Seriously! How could you tell? Seriously! Heh!
    Cecpet: Tommy’s only 7 – almost 8 – months old. He’s got a lot of white hair and seems to get more every day. I think we may end up with a white cat, not a black one! 🙂
    Jessie: That bookcase holds all the books I haven’t read yet. Which is why every time I look at that bookcase I get so overwhelmed. So many books! So little time! (Doesn’t stop me from buying more, though!)

  18. Speaking of a cat growling, our Abyssinian, Sidd, will growl at anyone who comes to the door. It cracks us up, he only does it when we’re both home too. He knows his humans are home so there shouldn’t be anyone coming to the door. He’ll growl and then go running at the door like he’s going to attack, it’s the funniest thing to watch.

  19. If Spot didn’t have black on his head, it would look like someone picked him up and dipped his back-end in an inkwell.
    Ok y’all, when you say hi to someone and they grunt back, just say “why yes, I am having a great day! thanks so much for asking” heh…
    anyone watch survivor last night? That last challenge was hilarious! I loved it at the end when the skinny white chick (name?) was sprinting toward her mat and the big black guy(name?) was kind of trotting behind her and right at the last second just kinds tugs her over to his mat. Hilarious!!!!!!!

  21. Robyn each time I read you I just fall to pieces laughing. You are definitely my kind of people and I wish like hell we were neighbors : )… those bitches would need to find a new place to walk ..hehe..

  23. Hi Robyn,
    Your capture under Miss Poo’s pic is too funny 🙂
    Here are my AI Favorites Baldman w/ beard ,little N-Squeaky,Grayman ,Will, Kellie, Lisa & Elliot for the top 12.

  24. I live in a development. There is a field behind the mailbox house where you don’t have to pick up after your dog. It’s not that far from my house, like half a block. I just found out from the people that mow for me that someone has been putting their dog’s poop into the half-inch space between my lawn and the sidewalk. FOR YEARS. Seriously? Seriously?? A dog could not poop like that, so someone picks it up and puts it there. WTF is wrong with people? It is a neighbor couple who mows for me, so maybe the poop placer hates them? They have 3 yippy dogs, including one who shivers all the time. (Poop placer, heh.)

  25. Hi Robyn – that Daisy is a hoot. Sort of like “Day of the Triffids” on prozac though….
    Oh, someone sent me a link that I am sure you will enjoy (if you haven’t already checked it out). It’s where you have to pick the cutest kitten out of a pair (hard to do for some of them) anyway I thought of you… if you would upload some of your lovies… boy would it be really hard to choose between ’em!
    http://kittenwar.com/

  28. I have that same problem with people in my neighborhooed allowing their dogs to sh*t in everybody’s yard. My son and husband have stepped in it so many times going to the mailbox, that back at christmas time I purchased a sign online that says “Please pick up after your pet”. We hung it on a pole right by our mailbox and nobody craps there anymore. BUT WE ARE THE TALK OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD NOW….we are the bitchy neighbors. Whatever…pick up your dog’s sh*t!!!!!!

  36. I have no clue if this posted or not but I don’t see it here. I just finished Undead and Unwed, and wanted to recommend it to you. It’s mind candy but it’s fun mind candy. If you’d like my used copy, just drop me an email with your home addy and I’ll be happy to send it along to you.

  37. Dargie: I’ve read it, actually, and at the moment I’m waiting for the next two in the series to get here from Amazon! 🙂

  39. Flower name: Gertrude 🙂 LOL Thats what I tell the kids my new “run away from home” name is… she looks happy and stress free… so, Gertrude. Haha. (I do love my kids.. I just mess with them, no hate mail please)
    As for the skinny women rule, I know exactly what you mean, and have lived through it. I think that is why I basically wear a T-shirt that proclaims that I have had the surgery. I don’t mind a bit telling anyone and everyone that I have had it. I may be “small” according to how I used to be… but I know how it feels and can’t possibly be a snobby little twig! LOL
    Oh, My favorite “used to be heavy ‘compliment'”… “You have such a pretty face, you would be so pretty if you dropped that weight sweety.” Oh, so I can’t be a pretty heavy girl????
    Carol

  40. Flower name: Gertrude
    Hee! Carol, that was going to be my suggestion. We’re on the same wavelength, apparently.
    And Miz Poo…please accept my sincerest apologies for ever thinking you fine torties are anything close to “bitchy.” Of course I was mistaken!

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