Yesterday I told Shelly (whose husband found work after 10 months, yay!) that I’m trying to embrace my inner frugal bitch.
I don’t think I’m being particularly successful at it, though.
Don’t get me wrong, all the extra spending has gone out the window. We don’t spend a penny without discussing it first and trying to figure out a way to get whatever it is we need to buy for less money. (And I’m constantly kicking myself for all the pointless spending we did in the past. Yes, we have savings and we’ll be okay for a good while – but imagine how much we’d have if we hadn’t been such bad, horrible, no-good impulse buyers!)
Every week I go through the Publix, Walmart, Target, and Piggly Wiggly* flyers to see if there’s anything on sale that we regularly use. I clip coupons, and I try to figure out the way to get the best deals on stuff. Thus far, my best deal was a few weeks ago, on Arm & Hammer kitty litter at Target. Between the sale price and the coupons I had, I paid $8.99 per 40-pound box. GO, ME.
My gripe is that you know those women who get $600 of groceries for $1.39 that you hear so much about? Those women are buying a lot of processed boxed stuff we just don’t use in our daily lives. So you have to wade through a bunch of crap to get to the good deals, is what I’m saying. Yes, 6 boxes of Hamburger Helper for 50 cents (if you have this coupon and that coupon, and only these flavors, and don’t forget to run through the graveyard and howl at the moon before you go to the store between 10:59 and 11:01 on the third Wednesday of months with “r” in the name) is a great deal – if you eat Hamburger Helper. We don’t.
But anyway, I go through the flyers, and then on Saturday mornings I hit Publix with my printed-out list of stuff on sale. This past Saturday, I had a pretty short list. So I got what I needed in the produce aisle, and I headed for the bread aisle to take advantage of some mini-bagels that were on sale, buy one get one free. (It would be more frugal to make my own bagels, I KNOW, but the one time I made bagels in the past, I was underwhelmed. What’s the point of making your own when they make you sad and wish for the store-bought version?)
I located the bagels I wanted, and I was just going to buy one pack (because when they say “buy one, get one free” what they mean is “each one is half price” – that might not hold true at all stores, I’m sure at some stores you have to buy both to get the “buy one, get one” deal, but not at Publix), and I stopped and thought “I wonder how much I’m saving here?” Publix is super-helpful and on the sales sign, it tells you how much you’re saving. So, according to the sign, by buying two packs, you’d be saving $2.59. IE, the regular price of the packs is $2.59 each.
Are you following me, here? Because I’m a little confused myself. Keep reading, I promise I have a point.
So I thought to myself “Oh, so these packs of mini-bagels are usually $2.59 each.”
This is where my frugal train ran off the tracks. My gaze wandered from the sale mini-bagels, and I saw a pack of mini-bagels by another company, and I thought “I wonder how much those are?” Those mini-bagels were 2 packs for $5. Which works out to (put your calculator away, I figured it out for you!) $2.50 each. “Hmm,” I thought, in my great big stupid head. “$2.50 is less than $2.59! I could save 9 cents if I buy those OTHER mini-bagels instead!”
And I did.
When I got home, I was all “Blah blah blah saved nine cents!”
Fred gave me the look of Something Isn’t Right Here and pointed at the mini-bagels I’d bought. “Those were less than HALF the price of the sale bagels?”
I didn’t understand the question, so I insisted “Yes!”
It took about fifteen minutes for me to figure out what the fuck I’d done. What an idiot. I was SO PROUD of myself for saving nine cents (it’s not the nine cents itself, you understand, it was the PRINCIPLE of saving nine cents!) that what I actually did was spend $1.20 MORE.
I’m going to nickel and dime us into the poor house, aren’t I?
*Yes, I said I’d never shop there again. But sweet potatoes, 39 cents a pound! Publix was selling them for 89 cents a pound! Come on, how can I pass that up?!
On Sundays, I generally try to make a big meal. Sometimes a roast, sometimes steak – some kind of meat, is what I’m saying. I always make several side dishes out of stuff I have in the freezer or (as is the case lately) some sort of roasted or mashed potatoes, because I got a huge-ass bag of potatoes for $2.75 a few weeks ago.
Yesterday, I decided to try a recipe that called for putting sliced onions and apples in a baking dish, pork chops on top, and baking it for three hours, ultimately ending with pork chops with caramelized onions and apples. While the pork chop dish was baking, I made parmesan garlic mashed potatoes, vegetable medley (summer squash and zucchini, stir-fried with onions, garlic, and dehydrated cherry tomatoes), and even a few pieces of garlic bread (I’d made Amish bread earlier in the day). Everything was really good – except the pork chop dish. The apple and onion slices had gone beyond caramelizing and were burnt, and the pork chops were dry.
At least the side dishes were good. SIGH.
Speaking of pork (see above, pork chops), we’ll be getting two more pigs pretty soon. The pig man** just has to corral them, then he’ll give Fred a call to let him know they’re ready to go. They won’t be the tiny, cute pigs we’ve gotten in the past – these are already about 50 pounds. We waited too long to get pigs, and he sold all the tiny ones to other people, damnit.
Oh well – next year we’ll know better and get our asses in gear sooner, right?
(NOT.)
We actually talked about getting pigs several weeks ago – probably back when the pig man actually had adorable, tiny baby pigs – but Fred wasn’t sure who’d take the other pig (when it was grown and ready to be processed, that is). He thought his sister wanted one, but it turned out she didn’t. And then he thought someone who’d previously bought a pig from us wanted one, and it turned out she didn’t, either. We had just about decided to go ahead and get two pigs and worry about who’d take the second one later, when Fred got an email out of the blue from someone he used to work with who was interested in getting one.
So I guess one day this week we’ll be headed out to the pig man’s farm to get us some pigs!
** The pig man’s nickname is “Egg”, and I can’t help it, every time I mention him to Fred, I accidentally call him “The egg man” instead of “The pig man”, and it annoys Fred like you wouldn’t believe.
“How YOU doin’?”
You can’t really tell from the picture, but Corbett was vigorously licking that ear in front of his face. Doesn’t he look pleased with himself?
“I. HAZ. A. COMPLAINT! I’m wide awake and everyone else is sleeping, then when I’m sleeping, everyone else is wide awake, and THIS WILL NOT DO.”
Bolitar, sound asleep.
I can’t help it, this picture makes me laugh and laugh. Reacher is just so CASUAL about it, all “Yep, here I am, laying directly atop Bolitar’s head. What of it?”
Oh, how Stinkerbelle ADORES her Tommy.
Previously
2009: No entry.
2008: An impromptu Saturday entry to share cool links with y’all.
2007: (What I wanted to say: YOUR MOTHER. Now go to bed!)
2006: So, in essence, the fucking DVR TATTLED on me.
2005: E’gar goes into the shop.
2004: I must be mumbling or something today. Everyone I’ve spoken to has looked at me like I’m speaking French and they can’t understand what the hell I’m saying.
2003: No entry.
2002: Blah blah blah.
2001: No entry.
2000: “Um… you mean, she lies on your butt to muffle your farts?” he ventured.