You know how you wake up in the morning and you think your day is going to go one way, and it becomes obvious from pretty early on that the day has plans of its own?
I woke up this morning and my plan was to get my entry up and written, run to Wal-Mart to buy everything on my extensive list, get home before 8, get some baking done, maybe make a batch or two of jam. Instead, as I was looking through pictures trying to decide which ones to post, Fred called from work. We had a lengthy discussion about the riding lawnmower he recently bought from L0we’s, which he’s only used a few times and which has already broken. I reminded him that he’d gotten the extended warranty, and since the thing was broken, it was time to call L0we’s and see what they were going to do about it.
He asked me to scan the receipt for the riding lawnmower purchase, so I did that, then went back to looking at pictures. A few minutes later he called back to report that they were going to replace the mower. Good news, right?
Except guess who had to go out and push the riding lawnmower out into the driveway so they could come get it?
I did that, put all the booklets and spare parts that came with the damn thing out there with it, and then came back inside to work on my entry some more. Fred told me that the manager told him that it would be about an hour and a half, and that they’d call first.
So I was working on my entry, and Sookie was laying in a cat bed on my desk, and she decided she needed to be on the other side of the desk. I shit you not, I had JUST typed the part about how the True Bloods are pretty good about staying off my keyboard (you’ll get to it eventually if I ever get this fucking thing posted) when she reached one little paw out and hit a key that made everything go black. I was pretty sure she hit the “sleep” key, so after some fiddling around, I got everything turned back on and began working on the entry again.
And then I realized I had no motherfucking internet. I fucked around with that, ran a diagnostic whateverthefuck, and the computer threw up its (figurative) arms and said “Fuck if I know.” I called Fred and growled at him, told him what had happened, said I was this close to tossing my computer out the door, and found out that he’d gotten himself the blue screen of death on his own work computer not ten seconds before. He told me to reboot the router, and told me how to do so. I did, and since our internet provider also provides our phone service, the phone went dead.
Somehow, I managed to not throw the phone against the wall.
I rebooted my computer three times, and on the last time it connected to the internet.
I began working on my entry YET AGAIN when the driveway alarm went off. I hadn’t received a call from L0we’s, but then again the phone had been down for a few minutes, so maybe they’d tried. I went out, and they had backed the truck into the driveway and were lowering the lift. I pointed out the old mower to them.
“What’s it been doing?” they asked.
I shrugged. “I have no idea. You’d have to ask my husband.” I’m sure Fred told me what was going on with it, but it had gone in one ear and out the other. I’m sure I wouldn’t have understood it even if I could remember what he’d said.
One of the guys started the mower and drove it up to the truck. He drove it onto the lift – the back tires hanging off the lift, and the other guy hit the button to raise the lift.
That, I thought to myself, does not look very safe. But I guess they know what they’re doing.
One instant later, with the lift halfway raised to the back of the truck, THE GODDAMN MOWER FELL BACKWARDS OFF THE LIFT.
WITH THE GUY STILL ON IT.
FELL.
OFF.
THE.
LIFT.
I reacted as I always do in an emergency. First, I gasped loudly, and then I raised my hands to my cheeks, and stood there staring in horror, my mouth hanging open. The other guy ran over and started pulling the mower (which was resting on its back end and had leaned backward so that the guy on the mower was kind of pinned), and after a long, long moment of not being able to think of what to do, I first ran a few steps toward the house to get the phone and call 911, and then stopped and ran up the driveway to help pull the mower off the guy.
By the time I reached them, the other guy had pulled the mower up enough so that the other guy could roll off it and get to his feet, and he stood there, shaking his head and brushing dirt off his pants. I was SURE he had to be hurt – at least a broken leg! – but he assured the other guy that he was fine.
“I braced myself when it started falling,” he said. (I don’t care what that man says, he’s going to be HURTING tomorrow morning.)
“JESUS,” I said, hand to my chest.
They pushed the mower onto the lift, and the other guy (the one who hadn’t been on the mower) held it on the lift while the lift raised, and then they pushed the mower onto the truck.
They left, assuring me that they’d be back with the new lawnmower and the paperwork (“Don’t forget the worker’s comp paperwork!” I wanted to say.), and now I wait. I wonder if I’ll be able to get my entry finished and posted before they show up? That would be too bad. I’d have to write a whole other entry about how they unloaded the lawnmower and one of them was crushed to death by it.
Edited to add: They just showed up and delivered the new lawnmower, and as far as I can tell, no one was crushed in the process (though I also haven’t looked at the driveway. I’d just rather not know.) Now I can’t go run my errands because the babies will need to be fed in about half an hour. DAMN YOU FRED ANDERS0N THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
Of COURSE after I said yesterday that I hadn’t had a midday slump since the iron infusion, I spent a good hour snoozing on the couch in front of the TV. Figures, doesn’t it? It might have something to do with that whole getting up at 4:30 thing.
I worked my way through my recorded episodes of Oprah yesterday afternoon. I don’t know the last time I watched an entire episode of that show, I usually fast forward through until I see what I want to see, then delete it. I did end up watching almost the entire episode with Mackenzie Phillips.
If you’re not up on the gossip, Mackenzie Phillips has written a book. In the book, she alleges that she was raped by her father and that it eventually turned into a 10-year “consensual” sexual relationship. I didn’t watch the show because I wanted the details about that – I’d read enough online about it already – but because I was most interested to know what her siblings thought of the allegations. Oprah didn’t ask that particular question until almost the end of the show, and the answer seems to be that they have an issue with it.
Two of her stepmothers have denied the allegations, but I actually think that Michelle Phillips’ denial lends credence to what Mackenzie Phillips says. Michelle Phillips says that in 1997 Mackenzie told everyone in their extended family about the sexual relationship, then called her the next day and said “You know I was just kidding, right?” Sounds like she got a taste of what the fallout from sharing that secret was going to be, and it made her back off for a long time.
I have no idea if Mackenzie Phillips is lying. It’s an odd thing to lie about, and it’s certainly not something that makes her look better to anyone – that it went on for so long is disturbing.
I don’t know if Mackenzie Phillips is telling the truth or if she’s so damaged from so many years of drug use that she doesn’t know what the truth is. Most of the time when a quasi-celebrity puts out a tell-all, it annoys the hell out of me because they’re so clearly desperately looking for a piece of the limelight. (I tend to leaf through celebrity autobiographies at the store to check out the pictures, but don’t buy them.) But Mackenzie Phillips claims she’s sharing her story because if it happened to her, she can’t possibly be the only one, and she wants to bring light to the topic. That actually seems believable to me.
Who knows?
It surprises me that I’m willing to believe Mackenzie Phillips, actually, because I don’t really like her. Her interview with Oprah didn’t change that – she was twitchy and weird and off-putting (which, to be fair, I’m sure being on Oprah and talking about her book can’t have been stress-free).
I guess I’m not sure what my point is, here. I guess I hope that whatever peace Mackenzie Phillips is looking for, she finds. I don’t know that writing a tell-all book and then promoting it on Oprah is so much the way to go, but good luck to her.
Boy, I’m so glad I never had a cat that pulled the TP off the roll. I have one that occasionally needs a bite of TP – must be low on fiber, but he just takes a bite and runs away. He runs because he knows if I can reach him, I will take the paper out of his mouth.
Is it wrong that the image of a cat running up to a roll of toilet paper, frantically grabbing a bite and then running off to chew it makes me laugh and laugh?
Hi Robyn! I never see you blog about it, but do you ever have problems with the older, established cats and improper elimination? (aka pooping and peeing outside the litter box). My cat has been pooping next to or close to her litter box every day for months now. I have tried everything – new litter, cleaning more often, extra praise, you name it. I am now trying Feliway. Nothing has changed and she only pees outside the box occasionally. Any advice?
We had a problem with Mister Boogers peeing outside the litter box, and let me tell you – I miss the hell out of that cat, but I surely do not miss the peeing outside the litter box. If I had to guess, maybe there’s something about the litter box itself that she’s not liking. Is it a covered litter box? Some cats don’t like those. Is the litter deep enough for her? I know you’re cleaning more often, so I’m guessing cleanliness isn’t an issue. Is she the only cat, or could she be objecting to sharing a litter box with another cat? Have you tried Cat Attract litter at all? (I’ve never tried Cat Attract myself, so don’t know for sure whether it’d help or not). Does she have any problems getting in and out of the litter box? If she’s older, it’s possible she’s developing joint issues that you may or may not already know about.
Those are the only things that come to mind – readers, feel free to jump in here!
Who’s the kitten in the box? CrAZy eyes!
I’m pretty sure that’s Jake. What I love about Jake is that he really looks like such a little lunatic sometimes. He’s got the crazy eyes down pat, for sure!
Oh you silly woman, that’s not a box. It’s a cat trap.
Shhhh, the cats might hear!
Robyn, I ran across this website and immediately thought of all your kitten pictures!
Oh lord, you guys are so bad for my Google Reader. SO FREAKIN’ CUTE.
Why aren’t you supposed to read while eating?
Because THEY say that if your attention is on what you’re reading, you’re not paying enough attention to what you’re eating, and it’s easy to overeat.
But seriously, what are you supposed to do, just sit there and EAT? What the hell? How boring is THAT?
A bakers dozen so far and the months not over!
Debra, I have pondered this comment from every direction, and I swear I don’t understand what you mean. I thought at first you meant the number of fosters in the house, but there are 10 of them now. And then I thought, well, you meant the number of KITTENS in the house (Jake and Elwood still being kittens), but that only comes up to 12. With the other permanent residents added in, that makes (gulp) 21 cats on the premises, so I’m at a loss. Did you miscount or am I missing something?
I just counted 21 cats that you have in residence right now. Can that be right?? I don’t know whether to be scared or jealous… LOL!
Be very very frightened. Heh. Actually, it’s really pretty neat to have so many of them running around (well, to be fair only 17 of them are running around – the little ones are contained in a cage most of the time). Fred has really warmed up to the True Bloods now that they climb all over him and flop over and beg for love, and he doesn’t have to go upstairs to spend time with them.
Last night, he had six cats on the couch with him, and I had three with me. The others were off racing around. As long as they don’t tromp on my keyboard (which they’ve been pretty good about, knock wood), I really like having them out and about.
My only objection is that Terry flopped down on Fred’s lap last night, when there was PLENTY of room on my lap. And then Bill went over and curled up against Fred. What the hell? They’re supposed to love ME most of all, damnit!
I woke up with a baby spider crawling down my comforter and it was oh, so much more effective than an alarm clock in getting me UP.
The day after the spider crawling down my face woke me up, I was making my bed and found a dead baby cave cricket RIGHT WHERE I HAD BEEN SLEEPING. What the fuck is up with all these bugs in my BED all of a sudden??
And, how is The Hour I First Believed? I’m getting it from the library and was wondering if it’s worth it.
The first half of the book was very good. And then it just kind of dissolved into a mishmash that I like to call “I’ve been working on this goddamn book for 9 years and just want to get the fucking thing done.” I recommend the book for the first half, but don’t recommend the second half (though of course you have to wade through the bullshit to find out what HAPPENS).
I think Wally Lamb, bless his heart, has hit the level of fame where his editors aren’t editing him enough any more.
That’s just my opinion, of course. I know a bunch of you have read the book, what did you think of it?
Oh, lordy, have you seen this video yet?!
Y’all are trying to kill me with the cute, aren’t you?
Robyn, lots of people all over the world have had their iPod hard drives corrupted after installing the new iTunes version. There’s a forum discussion on the Apple Support home page but people aren’t getting responses from Apple or if they call support, they are being told to just buy a new one if theirs is out of warranty. All report theirs were FINE before installing new iTunes version. Same here. Now mine makes clicking noises, says there is NO MUSIC, no nothing and people who have restored theirs say it doesn’t work. Please ask your readers if this has happened to them and, if not, tell them not to install the new iTunes version especially if they have an iPod Classic. My 160GB bought just over a year ago is DEAD. I’ve had 5 different sorts of iPods and nothing like this has ever happened.
I haven’t connected my iPod to my computer in about a week and a half, I think, and now I can’t remember whether iTunes has updated itself recently or not. I can tell you that if my iPod dies, it’s going to be the last goddamn iPod I ever own. I really, really like being able to watch TV shows on my iPod, but the majority of the time, I use it to listen to podcasts, and it doesn’t need to be an Apple product for that.
Anyone else out there having this issue?
I was wondering if you own a Kindle? I know you are a big fan of Amazon and such an avid reader. I really want one but am torn about it for some reason. I would be interested in your opinion of it whether you have one or not. Thanks.
I don’t own a Kindle, but I’ve played around with Nance’s Kindle and I liked it quite a bit. Fred and I were recently discussing buying a Kindle, actually. He doesn’t like the fact that books are so expensive (and you can’t buy them used!), but I did point out to him that a Kindle isn’t a replacement for real books, but rather a supplement. It would be super handy to have when I’m traveling and to keep in my purse for when I’m stuck in line somewhere, but I imagine I’d still trade books at Bookmooch and browse through book stores.
Maybe I’ll see if I can’t talk Fred into buying a Kindle as our Christmas present to each other this year.
The Wonkas are doing well. They’ve all been using the litter box because they are BRILLIANT. None of them but Gus are much interested in food versus formula from the bottle at this point. We’ll give it a little more time before we get pushy about making them eat food.
Fred is amazed at how quickly they’ve adjusted to us. Mike will still spit at us, but even he comes over to be petted occasionally. They’re all purring for us, and Gus has turned into such a love bug. This morning I held him like a baby and rubbed his belly for a long, long time.
I bought a cat condo (with a shelf!) at Petsmart ’cause I didn’t think we had enough cat furniture. ::snort::
Mike approves of the condo.
Something’s got Gus disturbed.
Miss Veruca’s got something to say (and in the background, Gus is all “You tell her!”).
Three of the four (Mike is off to the left, snuggled up under that big stuffed Momma cat).
“What you MEAN ‘no more belly rubs’?!”
“Rub mah belleh, or I will mess you UP with these little needle-sharp claws!”
The True Bloods are living the life, having the run of the house from about 7 am ’til 9 pm, racing around, falling down in a heap of kitten cuteness to snooze the day away, then getting up to do it all again.
They have no complaints (well, except for Hoyt. Who ALWAYS has something to say!).
There are literally six kittens on my desk right now (including our Jake and Elwood), and Lafayette and Terry are in my lap. I just tossed a pen across the room to see if they’d run over to check it out and let me get this entry posted without interference, and they sent an investigator (Bill) to see what it was. He went over, sniffed at it, and then announced “Just a pen, guys, nothing to worry about.” and climbed back up on my desk.
They love to hang out under the couch and smack at each other.
Well, of course. There ARE only 200 cat beds in the house. Why not snuggle up to the boots to sleep, Sookie?
“DID I MENTION I HAS A COMPLAINT?”
Miz Poo says “If I don’t look at him, this is not happening.”
Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: Imagine if a very industrious person took all the milk in the world, put it in one location, and let it spoil.
2006: I blushed, even though he couldn’t see me, and no doubt as a GI he’s elbow-deep in shit the majority of the time.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: I’m sure my tendencies toward dumbassery has something to do with it.
2002: Sometimes when I’ve just finished doing my Firm tape, I feel like my brain is leaking out my ears.
2001: Maybe I should just shave my head.
2000: No entry.