Jesus christ – can’t someone get this kid to shut the fuck up?
Thanks, all of you, for your kind words yesterday – they mean a lot. You guys are pretty freakin’ awesome, if I might say so.
Yesterday was particularly hard for me – every time I thought about Hamilton, I burst into tears. It got to the point where I’d start to say something to Fred about the fact that I was bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, and then I’d start crying, and then I’d laugh at the ridiculousness and throw up my hands.
(The worst part about bursting into tears is the inability to TALK without the wobbly voice. Also, the swollen eyes.)
We buried Hamilton and his brothers under the big pecan tree by the garden, and as I wrapped Hamilton in a soft pink blanket, he looked like he was sleeping, and I kept wishing I could touch his back and feel him arch against my hand one last time. That, of course, brought on more crying. I’m telling you, I was a mess yesterday.
Part of the problem, I’m sure, is that I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a week and a half, including Sunday night. I decided that last night if I couldn’t turn my brain off and go to sleep, I was going to take a hydrocodone. Luckily, that wasn’t necessary. I got a good eight hours of sleep, and I’m feeling a lot better today.
I’m only taking a short break from fostering – I told Susan I’d be ready to foster again at the end of the month. Maybe not bottle-fed kittens again right away, but I am absolutely willing to try with tiny ones again in the future. As painful as this experience was, it taught me not to be scared of the idea of tube feeding, and I think that’s a valuable skill to have. When I emailed Susan to tell her about Hamilton, she emailed me back to remind me what she’d told me at some point in the past: A local Abyssinian breeder once told me that with these teeny ones, “If they’re going to die, they’re going to die no matter what you do and if they’re going to live, they’re going to live no matter what you do.” I think that’s probably pretty good advice. We do our best to save them but sometimes we just can’t. I know that they were warm and safe and loved while they were here, and although we couldn’t save them, I believe we offered them some sort of comfort before they passed on.
It’s so quiet around here with only our nine cats – no little fosters running around or needing to be fed. We talked seriously last night about adopting Dwight, who is the sweetest little guy on earth (we always called him Fred’s “boyfriend” because he loved to snuggle with Fred at TV-watching time), but ultimately decided that it wasn’t what we wanted to do. I know that Dwight will end up in a great home. Anyone who spends one minute with him is going to know what a sweetheart he is.
I kept busy yesterday, and there was plenty to do. I’d let a lot of stuff fall by the wayside while I was taking care of those kittens, so I spent a good part of the day taking care of produce from the garden that needed to be frozen or dehydrated or whatever. I ended up roasting 7 spaghetti squash over the course of the day so I could freeze them, I put cayennes on to dehydrate (when they’re dehydrated, I’ll grind them into powder), I put yellow squash on to dehydrate, and chopped more yellow squash up to freeze. I started a batch of gherkins (which will take a few days to finish), shredded zucchini to freeze. I’m sure there’s more I did, I’m just not remembering what it was.
Oh! I did laundry. I had a ton of laundry to do, mostly towel, cleaning rags, baby blankets. I swear to god that I generated more laundry every day with these kittens than Kate Gosselin does in an average day.
I also got out the sewing machine and made a couple of covers for the heating pad. The cover that came with the heating pad is ancient and ugly, so I used a baby blanket to make one of them, and some fleece material I had for the other. They look okay, but I was reminded anew that I cannot sew a straight seam to save my life. Probably if I messed with the sewing machine more than once a year, I might improve, ya think? I also took some baby diapers – ones that I bought back when I had Maddy and dyed purple – and cut them smaller. One of the many things I wished while I had Hamilton, Jefferson, and their brothers was that I had some smaller cloths to wash their faces (and back ends) with. It kind of seems overkill to grab a huge cloth to wipe their faces with, you know? So I cut three diapers into quarters, and ran seams around the cut edges of the cloths so they won’t unravel. Black thread on purple cloths. Someone really needs to buy more thread, I’m thinking, because my choices at this point are black, red, or white.
Today, I have groceries to get, recycling to take to the recycling center, and a house to clean. I have literally not vacuumed this house since last Monday, and I can’t even look at my floors, they’re so horrifying. Not to mention the bathrooms that desperately need cleaning, and the dusting.
Oy. I hate the dusting.
I still have more squash (pattypan, this time) to dehydrate, and a chicken to boil ’cause I’m going to make a Quesadilla Pie for dinner. And speaking of pies, I made a Zucchini Pie with dinner the other night and it was very, very good. One of the things I’m going to try with my dehydrated zucchini this winter, is to rehydrate it and see if I can make a decent Zucchini Pie with it. It’s worth experimenting with. The only thing is that the bottom of the pie crust was a bit doughy, so next time I’m going to prebake it before I fill it, and we’ll see if that reduces the doughiness.
Okay, I’m off to clean. Wish me luck!
Cats do control humans, study shows.
That right there is what we call a “no-shitter.”
This video is AWESOME.
Tommy was laying in this cat bed, and Sugarbutt decided it was time for snugglin’. I love how he’s all stretched out, taking up more than his allotted space.
And Tommy is clearly pleased about this turn of events.
Previously
2008: All in all, a very good weekend.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: It doesn’t have that ring of finality to it, that “I’m ending this goddamn email, see?” air.
2004: Why the fucking hell shouldn’t men cheat on beautiful women?
2003: Could I be more boring, yammering on about my email address?
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: I guess I should clean under the couch a little more often, huh?