Month: June 2009

In my comments yesterday, Paula K asked:

Can you further discuss the pruning of the tomato plants? I’ve been the caretaker of the tomato plants for a couple of years now, but other than weeding and a few shots of Miracle Grow I don’t do much else, but if you advocate pruning then I can prune – I’d just like a primer because without one I’d likely hack off something important.

What I did was, I Googled for information on pruning tomato plants, and I read closely and extensively, particularly this page. And then I went out with a pair of sharp scissors, and I wildly hacked willy-nilly at the tomato plants.

I’ve actually never pruned tomato plants before, but the way there were branches laying on the ground last year annoyed me, so I made sure to cut off the lower branches of the tomato plants. And then I went through and I clipped the suckers off the plant (“suckers” basically being – you know how there are branches that go off to the side and directly above the branch there’s a much smaller branch with just a few leaves on it? That’s a sucker. It has no purpose, it just sits there and sucks energy that could better be spent by the plant toward making tasty tomatoes.) Once the lower branches and the suckers were gone, I just kind of looked over the plant, and hacked off any branches that looked like they had no purpose.

I have no clue whether I did a decent job, or if the tomato plants are all going to react to my hacking at them by tipping over and dying. We have two freakin’ rows of tomatoes, though (there are TWO of us, and I don’t intend to make tomato sauce this year, because the tomato sauce I made so carefully last year? Still sitting in the freezer. Apparently we really just don’t use tomato sauce. You’d think I’d have known that.), so if a few of them react poorly, I’m not going to cry too hard.

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And in my comments last Friday, Aimee said:

I was wondering if you knew of a home remedy for urinary tract infections in kitties. One of mine has been to the vet several times for having crystals in his urine – and now he’s on a med that supposed to sooth his bladder lining and make him relax enough to go potty – it worked for awhile and now he’s back to peeing like every 5 minutes – but he’s going, so he’s not blocked. I’m kind of tired of the – let’s go to the vet in case he’s blocked and then he’s not, but they keep him overnight and charge me $600. ::sigh::

I don’t know of a home remedy for feline UTIs, but I suspect that someone out there does. So howzaboutit, y’all, any suggestions for Aimee? Those $600 vet bills are THE SUCK.

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And lastly, in my comments yesterday, Elaine asked:

By the way, what is your opinion about the whole Jon and Kate disaster? I only knew about them from reading your blog. And watching The Soup.

When the stories first hit the news that Jon was hanging out in bars and groping co-eds, I just shrugged and figured we were seeing the tabloids do what they do when things are slow – making up stories where there are none. Then I saw the video of Jon leaving a bar and calling some girl “babe” and I began thinking, well, maybe there’s truth to the rumors. Then I heard the rumors that Kate was having an affair with her bodyguard and I rolled my eyes and stopped thinking about it at all.

This is what I think – are Jon and Kate having affairs? I don’t know. I don’t care. It seems pretty clear from last week’s episode that they’ve both checked out of the marriage.

I think Kate’s a douchebag for giving an interview to People Magazine.

I think Aunt Jodie and Uncle Kevin are douchebags for giving interviews pretty much to anyone who asks. Do they have a right to be concerned about their nieces and nephews? Absolutely. I’d understand it if their interviews were about that alone – but they’re also tossing out little tidbits about Jon and Kate’s marriage, about how the whole happy-family aspect of the show is a sham. For that, I think they’re douchebags (and could someone let Aunt Jodie know that that shade of lipstick is doing her no favors?).

I can see how they got sucked in by the money, because I imagine having that kind of money roll in is nice to see. And I actually don’t think that the kids were too adversely affected by the filming for the first few seasons. I think the kids just saw the film crew as more people around who were paying attention to them. But they’re older now, and they’re more aware of the world around them (“Look! It’s paparazzi!”), other kids are going to tell them what the world is saying about their parents (if they haven’t already), and I think it’s time to end the show.

I don’t know that Jon and Kate will voluntarily stop filming, though. There’s the money, and I think that her protestations to the contrary aside, Kate enjoys the fame. I’m sure she doesn’t like the negative things people are saying about her, but hey – take the bad with the good, right?

In retrospect, and I know my opinion wouldn’t matter to the Gosselins, I think what they should have done is maybe a yearly special the way the McCaughey Septuplets did (are they still doing those? I feel like it’s been a few years.) Of course, that wouldn’t have brought nearly the amount of fame and money the show is bringing them now, and it seems that that’s most important to Jon and Kate right now.

(Of course, that said – I’ll be watching every show they televise because I love the hell out of Leah and Aidan. I mean, I like all the little kids, but those two are my favorites.)

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And then Boo‘s comment cracked us all up!

I satellite shop all the time because people are stupid and wander around in a daze with their carts akimbo so it’s quicker for me to stash my cart and zoom off to get whatever and bring it back. The only trouble I’ve ever had is when I forget where I’ve parked the cart; no one has ever taken it. That said, one day I was shopping at Sam’s Club and doing the satellite thing but when I came back, the cart was gone. I knew I had parked it RIGHT THERE! but no cart. Then I noticed some ‘fucking assfaced motherfucker’ wheeling around with a cart that had my two or three things in it. I stalked her cart steeling butt until she wasn’t looking, then I thieved my cart back! Ha!

When I caught up with my husband, I was all “I’m a rebel! Bitch thought she could thieve my cart but I DON’T THINK SO!… … …Uh…babe? Why do you have a cart with my stuff in it too?” Turns out my husband took the cart without telling me and some poor lady had put exactly the same two items in her cart as I had in mine. Whoops.

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Speaking of the Gosselins, here’s a little tidbit even Fred doesn’t know – Kara (Upstairs Momma) is actually named after Cara Gosselin. When I was trying to come up with a name for her, I thought about Maddy and I thought “Huh. We’ve used the name Maddy, I should use the name Cara now!” Except that Cara had been used in the past by the shelter, so Kara it was.

I actually was going to name Kara’s kittens after various Gosselin kids, but most of them had been used, and then someone suggested names from Firefly, so I went that way instead.

Your bit of trivia for the day!

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Annnnnd speaking of Kara….

Would you believe that this little cutie:

Grew up to be this beauty:

And would you believe this sweet little charmer:

Grew up to be this stunner:

And this little sweetie-pie:

Grew up to be this camera-shy cutie:

That first cat is Kaylee, Kara’s kitten from last year. We referred to her as “the raccoon” because, well, she looked like a little raccoon. The people who adopted her sent a picture to the shelter manager, who forwarded it on to me.

The second cat – Mr. Gorgeous – is Nate (he was “River” back then) and the camera-shy cutie is Dora (“Inara” back then), both of whom Katherine adopted last year.

I showed Kara the pictures so she could see how pretty her babies grew up. She yawned and asked if it was snack time yet.

I know that, inside, she’s deeply proud of them, though!

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(Please ignore the hair. I’m in desperate need of a hair cut.)

Phyllis and Creed love to climb up onto my shoulders. And then they just sit there. Well, Phyllis sits there – Creed usually jumps down after a few minutes and goes to find something to play with (usually Dwight).

But Phyllis just sits there.

And sits there.

Then sometimes I have to put her on the floor to go do something, and Phyllis? She is not pleased. And she gives me the sad eyes.

(So I just pick her up again. Whatever it was I had to do, it can wait!)

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Spanky studiously does NOT look at me when I’m holding the camera. I think he’s hoping I’ll just go away.

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Previously
2008: I assume if I were on the verge of death, someone would have come running in to save me.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: “I like cheese, just not on a salad.”
2003: Now, how motherfucking stupid does the man think I am?
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.

Holy crap, how’d it get to be June already???

New month, new banner! This one was created by the lovely Christine, who was kind enough to give poor Aly a break.

Thanks, Christine – you rock!

(And of course, anyone who’s feeling creative and wants to make a banner and send it this way, I’m always appreciative!)

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Friday morning, after I was done cleaning cages at the pet store, I stopped by Target to pick up a few things, and then I headed into Madison to visit Kohl’s. I am finding that I really have very little in the way of decent looking clothes to get me through the summer. I don’t have a job, so my daily uniform tends to be along the lines of shorts and oversized t-shirts, but I’d like to have one or two outfits that I can throw on and wear when we’re running errands or whatever, without worrying that I have a big stain down the front of my shirt, or that I look like a slob in my shorts.

Kohl’s has a large selection of clothes, so I thought it might take me a while, but surely I could find something that would work, right?

I dove right in, walking through and picking up pants to try on, and then trying them on. Interestingly enough, I only had to try on about six pairs of capris to come to the conclusion that Dockers brand pants in Curvy fit are the ones that work for me. I didn’t stop there – I probably tried on another ten or so pairs of pants and capris before I narrowed it down to three capris and one dark-blue pair of pants.

And then, I decided to go try on bras. I have lately had an issue with my bras, in that they are FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE and I think the reason they’re so goddamn uncomfortable is because I only wear my bras once before washing them, and such wearing, washing, and drying tends to make a bra break down more quickly than you’d think.

(That’s my thesis, anyway.)

So I decided I’d try on a bunch of bras and see if I couldn’t find one that would work for me. I wandered through the bra section, and I dug through the bras, and would you believe that 36DDD bras are not a common in-stock bra size? Somehow, that still manages to surprise me, I know not why. I managed to find about six bras in varying sizes to try on, and then I went around the corner to the maternity section, and I parked my shopping cart next to the changing room doorway, and I took the bras and my purse into the changing room, and I began the laborious and unhappy task of trying on bras.

None of the bras worked for me – which is about what I expected – and so I got dressed again and grabbed my purse, left the bras on the “dressing room items” rack, and reached for my cart.

And it wasn’t there.

My immediate reaction was that a diligent Kohl’s worker had come along, straightening up the Maternity section, and taken my cart away. Then I looked around and saw that the capris and pants that had been in the cart had been tossed over a nearby rack.

Some fucking assfaced motherfucker could not be bothered to haul her fucking ass to the front of the store (an arduous 30-second hike), saw my cart sitting there, tossed my items on a nearby rack, and hustled off.

I was ENRAGED. If there had been any way on earth I could tell WHICH assfaced motherfucker had taken my cart, I would have stomped over to her and I would have pulled that fucking cart away from her, and I would have given her WHAT FOR.

GODDAMN THAT PISSES ME OFF. I spend ten minutes struggling in and out of bras that DO NOT FIT, I glare at myself in the mirror and feel fatter and flabbier and more hideous by the moment, and then I come out of the dressing room to find that some assfaced motherfucker has STOLEN MY CART.

This is why it’s a good thing I’m not licensed to carry a gun.

(Later, when I said that to Fred, he said “You wouldn’t have done anything. You would have just quietly seethed.” And I said “Apparently you’ve never had to go shopping for bras. You have no idea how close to the surface the rage was. Is.”)

So I grabbed my capris and pants, and I went and checked out and went home, fuming all the way.

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Saturday morning, Fred and I got up and got going early. We headed for Madison to attend the Rummage Sale to benefit the Madison Animal Rescue Foundation. There was a TON of stuff there (and we got there just after it started, and there were a ton of people already there, too!). We ended up getting a bunch of hardcover books, an “as seen on TV” dryer lint removal kit, a basket that will become a cat bed when I get around to making a cushion to go inside it, and… I think that’s it. All for less than $10!

There was a lot of furniture there, including couches and love seats. If we’d had any place to put another couch, I would have wanted to buy one of them, it was in such good shape! I had hoped to see a nice comfy chair that I could put in the kitten room (since anyone who goes in there now has to sit on the floor), but there was nothing. Ah well – that just gives me something to look for in the future when we drive past yard sales, right?

We ran home, got the truck, and went to the dump. Stopped at Tractor Supply and the grocery store on the way home, and then Fred spent the day working outside and I…. do not recall what on earth I did.

I’m sure it was fascinating.

Yesterday morning I got up before 6:00, as I was awakened by the Tom Cullen alarm clock. Most mornings Tommy leaves me alone and lets me sleep, but some mornings he is apparently filled with the spirit and has to come tell me how much he loves me. This takes the form of stomping around on the bed, kneading vigorously on the bed, and eventually kneading vigorously on my arm with his entire body weight behind each and every knead (and Tommy is NOT a small cat), with his claws fully extended.

When I respond to his advances by reaching out to pet him, his immediate reaction is fall over flat on his back with all four legs straight up in the air. Yesterday morning, he looked exactly like a dead and bloated armadillo laying there, and I laughed so hard at the thought that there was no way I was going to be able to get back to sleep.

I got up, got dressed, gave the kittens their morning dose of Slippery Elm Bark (kitten diarrhea is the bane of my existence. They get here, they’re perfectly fine, then four or five days later they start up with the diarrhea. It’s just as fun as it sounds, complete with having to give them baths because they ALWAYS tromp through it. Why? WHY????), gave them some love, and then headed out to do some weeding.

I weeded for an hour and got about a third of the second row of tomatoes weeded before Fred came out to tell me it was 7:30. I pruned a couple of tomato plants, then went inside to shower and get dressed. Lowe’s opens at 8 on Sundays, and Fred likes to get there right when they open. We went to Lowe’s, bought a new cat fence transformer (the one we had wasn’t working right), bought a new grill (the old one was rusted through), and a few gardening supplies for me. We swung by the grocery store to pick up some salad and potatoes, and then came home.

Fred worked outside all day, I puttered around the house, spent time with the kittens, and puttered around some more.

It was a really nice weekend – sunny and warm (got up well into the 80s yesterday!), and things are finally starting to dry out around here. Today’s supposed to be sunny and warm again, so I’m headed out to do some more weeding, and after that perhaps I’ll do some laundry!

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“This fuzzy-ball-on-a-spring toy is mine. Do you hear me, MINE!” (She looks so earnest!)

The thing about Dwight that I love the most (aside from the fact that he’s always bouncing around playing like a wild thing) is that his ears tip forward just slightly at the end. ADORABLE.

Look at the little smile on her face!

Dancing monkey.

“Hey! Get away! It’s MY turn to pick on him!”

Dance, monkey, dance!

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Cat, she’s a kittycat. And she dancedancedance and she dancedancedance.

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Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: Damn gardeners, always laying down on the job.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: It’s just a good thing the air traffic controller didn’t start talking about the plane’s phalanges.
2003: Anatomy of a Smackdown
2002: No entry.
2001: Lovely ‘do, eh?
2000: I don’t want to sound like a nosy know-it-all.