If you don’t usually follow the links at the bottom of the entry to previous years’ entries, you should totally make an exception and go back and read last year’s entry. I just read it and it cracked me UP.
So yesterday morning I decided that I would get my ass in gear, and I would cut and paste all the names and addresses of people who’d requested Crooked Acres holiday cards from us into Open Office, so I could print out the labels. I’d already done about the first 60 cards Sunday night, and I wanted to get the rest of them done so that for the next couple of weeks (uh… 11 days! Request ’em now, guys!) I can just sign and address them as each request comes in.
Open Office, by the way, is annoying the hell out of me. I never had a problem with Word in the past, labels always printed out as they were supposed to, but the Open Office version of Word won’t let me format all the labels at the same time, I have to do them one by one AND THAT IS A PAIN IN THE ASS, and then I have to make sure that I put a blank line at the top of each address label, or the address gets cut off at the top. I have ordered the newest version of Word in an attempt to save myself the stress-induced aneurysm.
So I spent a couple of hours cutting and pasting, and the end was in sight when I came across several emails in a row that were from people who frequent the same message board where Fred likes to hang out.
Someone named Wayne included his address and added that he always enjoys Fred’s levity and point of view on the message board. A lot of people on that board (though certainly not all of them) don’t like Fred because some of them are, shall we say, quick to jump on the “OMG!” wagon, jump to conclusions, and if Fred should point out, in a level-headed way, that what they believe to be the truth might not be the complete and utter truth and back up what he’s saying with evidence, they accuse him of being a liberal terrorist devil-worshiping baby-eating serial killer. Since Wayne is apparently someone who enjoys Fred’s point of view (and levity), I wanted to forward the email to him so he’d know that someone on that message board appreciates him.
(I suspect that plenty of people like Fred, they just tend not to be as vocal as the ones who loathe him.)
So I hit “forward” and I typed “Wade lurves you! :)”, and then I hit “send.”
And then I realized that I hadn’t hit “forward.” I’d hit “reply.” And the man who was nice enough to let Fred know that he enjoyed Fred’s levity (and point of view) was going to get the email I’d intended for Fred’s eyes, and he probably was going to think I was mocking him.
I reeled around the room, clutching my head and moaning aloud at my idiocy and calling myself every name in the book, then quickly typed another email to Wayne, letting him know that I’d meant that email for Fred, because I’d wanted to tease him.
And then I called Fred and told him what an idiot I am and suggested that maybe he should email Wayne as well and apologize for marrying such a dumbass. Fred laughed and laughed and laaaaaaaaughed, because it’s always funny when someone else is the idiot, isn’t it?
A minute later, I got an email back from Wayne who said “Well, that’s OK. Just let him know that I do lurve him. Have a great day!”
WHEW! So Wayne didn’t take offense and all is well.
I suppose it could have been a lot worse!
Moral of the story: pay attention to what you’re doing, dumbass!
I made haluski last night as a side dish to go with our pork chops. It wasn’t as good as Shirley’s was, but it was pretty good nonetheless. I basically used this recipe, though I did NOT use a cup and a half of butter; I used about a quarter cup of butter, and I think next time I’ll go with half butter and half Brummel and Brown.
Fred liked it too, though he immediately started suggesting ways to improve the recipe because he is Fred. He suggested less noodles and more cabbage next time, which I’m down with. And then he suggested adding carrots. And brussels sprouts.
Given that brussels sprouts taste like mini heads of cabbage to me, I think adding them to haluski would be kind of redundant.
Something has amused Miss Marion.
More kitten pictures – and a short entry about how Miz Poo is mellowing in her old age – over at Love & Hisses.
Smilin’ Joe has him a box.
Previously
2007: Miss Stinky Seethes.
2006: No entry.
2005: It’s the little things that amuse us, obviously.
2004: Mister Boogers does his Donald Trump impression
2003: FUCKING spam.
2002: Are you an innie or an outie?
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.
1999: God, the smell.