Last night, in front of the closet in my bedroom, I was getting ready for bed. As I stripped off my shirt and bra, Fred came in. He stood beside me and cast a considering eye at my chest.
“What?” I said, because that’s what we always say whenever the other so much as glances in our general direction.
“Your boobs look smaller,” he said.
“Gee,” I said. “THANKS. That’s always a way to win a girl’s heart.”
He shrugged. “They look less… saggy.”
When I was done berating him, he said “You make me sound like an ogre. I was being complimentary!”
“I think you mean ‘oaf’,” I said. “And it’s not ME making you sound like one.”
Some girls get all the romance.
Since you are the person I “know” who watches the most tv, can you tell me: There is a reality show involving two very prim-n-proper British housekeepers who come in and clean up horribly messy houses. Is this a US show, or a BBC thing?
My son had some “50 most shocking TV moments” show on last night, and one of them showed these two British society-matron-looking women coming in and gasping in shock and horror at the mess they were expected to clean up. The heavy-set one of the pair got down on her hands and knees (she was wearing a shirt suit with heels and hose, by the way, to clean a house in?? anyway) to sniff a stain on the carpet. (That’s what I always do.) She recoiled and made a horrible face and told her partner, “It’s pee-pee! It’s pee-pee!” On the couch, she sniffed another stain, waved her hand behind her bottom, and whispered, “Poo!”
The idea of watching these Oh So Proper women in business dress clambering around on their hands and knees and talking about poo and pee-pee makes me seriously reconsider my anti-television bias (also I’d feel better about my own messy house), but I don’t know where to find the show. Robyn, or anyone?
Elayne, in case you missed it, Laura said That show is “How Clean Is Your House?” and it’s on every weekday on BBC America.
And Robyn S. said, To add on to Laura’s comment, How Clean Is Your House used to be on Lifetime. I haven’t seen it on there in ages though.
Is the pig solid or is it a piggy bank?
It’s a solid hand-carved pig!
I love roadtrip stories — and you SHOP? Wow. I was brought up to get on the road and STAY THERE until you get there. Your way sounds like a lot more fun.
Yeah, if it had been Fred there would have been NO stopping and shopping. In fact, he probably would have rolled his eyes every time I told him I had to pee. Probably, he would have told me to JUST HOLD IT, DAMNIT, WE’LL BE THERE IN TEN HOURS!
Not that you are old but be careful around that henhouse
I think it would suck in a BIG WAY to die under a chicken coop with Frick looking at me like “Has you got some food, lady?” and McLovin pecking at my feet.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that I’ve been AT that Love’s .. do you happen to remember where it was?
All I can tell you is that it was the last exit before mile marker 45, and there was a Burger King up the road and on the opposite side.
I have been re-reading all of your old entries, and I am reading about last summer’s garden and canning fest. Have you started planning the garden for this year?
Oh, definitely. In fact, Fred has already planted the potatoes and the entire plot has been tilled. Also, he’s started the tomatoes (inside). We’re growing all the same stuff we grew last year, and in addition we’re growing edamame, navy beans, black beans (I think), onions and… that’s it, I think. I cannot wait ’til we get our first tomato! We’re growing a lot more tomatoes, and some of them are paste tomatoes this time around.
Since I LOL’d at your previously listings for today, inquiring minds just HAVE to know. Did your period once again start right before you left on this vacation?
My period did NOT start again right before I left on vacation – THANK GOD, because getting sick while having my period is the most miserable thing on earth.
Is that a Wegmans?
The grocery store we visited with the awesome candy aisle was a Great Eagle.
Was reading a book the other day called Good, Good Pig by Sy Montgomery. Thought of you and your little piggies. One thing I found very interesting and surprising in the book, is that more people are killed by pigs than sharks each year. Wow, be careful out there.
Here’s a funny story for y’all – every time you warn Fred not to feed the pigs by hand, he rolls his eyes and continues to feed them. I, on the other hand have never fed them by hand because I am a good girl and I heed your warnings. So one day Fred and I were in the pig yard sitting on the stump he hauled out there for them to rub against (which they never do), and one came sniffing around my feet, and I held my hand down, and he lifted his head up and sniffed my hand and then…. he tried to bite it. He didn’t, and he wasn’t aggressive about it in the first place, but my own dumbassery horrified me, and I don’t really venture into the pig yard anymore.
You should get some turkey chicks too. I assure you that you will have no trouble wringing their necks when the time comes because turkeys are the stupidest, most exasperating creatures to breathe. In fact, you will probably have to restrain yourselves to keep from killing too early. They’re tasty too!
We’re talking about it, actually – maybe getting them and putting them in the pig yard when the pigs are gone. Do they act like chickens? Do they sleep roosting like chickens do?
I have always said to myself, that when my (very old) cat dies and I want a new kitty, I’ll just try to adopt one of your fosters. I am several states away though. Do you think your shelter would make exceptions for your readers who promise to spoil the cat for the rest of it’s life, and have already proven themselves to be good cat owners?
You know, I don’t know. She’s pretty reasonable, but it’s probably a case-by-case sort of thing. Keep in mind that the current adoption price per cat is $150, and you have to fill out paperwork to apply for adoption.
so are Nance and Rick now staying for a visit at your house for a while?
Yep, they’re staying for a few days, and then driving home again!
Fred thought it would be a good idea to pick up the pig. The pig didn’t agree that it was a good idea, even though he looks like he’s smiling.
Happy pig.
Hungry pig.
I LOVE spring.
Sugarbutt in his favorite hidey-hole.
Previously
2007: That is a monster shredder.
2006: Someone kill me now. NOW.
2005: And THEN in the car on the way to Mom and Dad’s, I was thinking “Well, THAT was rude, to tell her she was being too loud!
2004: No entry.
2003: Miz Poo has an infection.
2002: And if you unsubscribe from the notify list? A reason for the unsubscription is neither necessary, required, nor desired. Thanks so much.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.