Leanne‘s smack dab in the middle of it all. They don’t have to evacuate just yet, and hopefully won’t have to – everyone send some good thoughts her way, would you?
* * *
Back in April, when we signed up with Dir3ct TV (or DIR3CTV, as I guess they prefer to be known), we were told that when we signed up, we’d receive a free DVD player.
Now. You know and I know that we don’t really NEED a DVD player, but it might possibly come in handy in the future on long car trips or whatever, so we were all excited at the very idea of it.
We were supposed to receive the form with our first month’s bill, and we needed to fill out the form and send it back in with a copy of our first month’s bill. Except that sometime in June Fred received a call from them saying that they hadn’t received payment from us, and they were going to turn off our cable in two days. Since the reason we hadn’t paid them was because we hadn’t received a bill, we therefore didn’t receive our first month’s bill OR the form to fill out. Fred asked what we were supposed to do, and they gave him the url and told him to print it out, fill it out, and send it in with our first month’s bill.
So I printed it out, filled it out, and sent it out with our second month’s bill, since we’d never received the first one.
Days went by, chickens grew, cats learned to jump the fence and run off like the douchebags they (he) are (is). In August, Fred said “Hmm. We still haven’t gotten our DVD player, have we?”
“We have not.”
He called DIR3CTV and they told him they’d “expedite the process”, but that we should go ahead and print out another form and send it in with a copy of our first month’s bill. We don’t have our first month’s bill, we told ’em, and they were all “Mm, yeah. Whatever. Send it with your second month’s bill or whatever. Ask me if I give a fuck.”
So I printed out the form, filled it out, and sent it in again with a copy of our second month’s bill and an explanation of blah blah blah never received the first bill blah and so forth.
Yesterday, we got a letter from them.
Dear Fred And3rson,
Thank you for your recent participation in the DIR3CTV Gift With Activation. Unfortunately your redemption submission is ineligible for this offer due to the following reason(s):
We have been unable to find a valid, active DIR3CTV account in your name with the account number provided. Please resubmit your Redemption Form including your new, active DIRECTV Account Number and all required documentation for this Offer to the address below.
I thought to myself,
god I’m an idiot. I filled out the form with the wrong account number! No wonder we haven’t gotten our DVD player yet!
I got out the most recent bill and looked at it. Account number 12345678. I looked at the letter. Account number 12345678.
Um. What?
So I scanned the letter and the latest bill and emailed them to Fred. He called DIR3CTV and politely gave them hell, suggesting that he felt like he was getting the runaround.
At this point, you understand, it’s not about the DVD player. It’s the PRINCIPLE OF THE GODDAMN MATTER. We want our fucking DVD player!
They told him they’d “expedite the process” and we should receive it within the next six weeks.
Then I’m sure they hung up and said “We just bought ourselves six weeks of NO CALLS from Mr. And3rson. Boo-yah!”
I’ll believe that the free DVD player exists when I’m holding it my hands and not one moment before.
* * *
Meme, stolen from
Kym. One word answers.
The Air: Wet.
Favorite Fall Indulgence: Apples.
Out Your Window: Chickens.
On Your Desk: Cat.
On Your Feet: Nothin’.
Favorite Fall Smell: Burning.
Temperature On Your Thermostat: 50ish.
Your Shirt: Nightgown.
Your Hair: Bedhead.
Something You Want to Make Sure You Do this Fall: Ocoee.
Where You Last Took a Fall: Dunno.
Your Last Drink: Water.
Your Last Meal: Dinner.
You’re Thinking About: Lazing.
Hearing: Booger.
Your Favorite Fall Color: Orange.
Your Take On Seasonal Novelty Flags (i.e. turkeys, pumpkins, scarecrows): Depends.
A New Fall Show You Like: Journeyman.
Your Plans for the Evening: Television.
Your Relationship With Pumpkins: Platonic.
* * *
Today’s cat stuff is
over at Love & Hisses.
* * *
Previously
2006: Okay. I have a LOT of favorite things about the house, I cannot lie.
2005: “That makes me want to get pregnant and have a baby, just so I can name it Lavernicus,” I admitted. “That WOULD be an excellent name.”
2004: No entry.
2003: It took two days from the first time I called Stanley “Beanie-bean” in front of Fred before Fred started doing it too. He’s such a copycat.
2002: “She was giving me a handjob under the water, and I didn’t stop her, even though I’m not attracted to her, BECAUSE I AM ONLY HUMAN.”
2001: Fred is a freak.
2000: “Uhhhh….” I said, casting around for something smart-ass or impressive to say.
1999: My desk is a total shitheap, because I’m Robyn and I’m a slob]]>