Elayne’s blog was down, and then it came back up, and she sent out an email to those of us who are a little more special than the rest of you (pardon me while I preen) letting us know she was back up and running. And I intended to post something here to let y’all know (I know some of you read her as well), but I kept forgetting and kept forgetting until I was looking through my email inbox and found her email from like TWO WEEKS AGO, so here you go:
Elayne’s blog is up and running again! Yay! Go say hi!
* * *
My hormones are all whacked to hell and back and I haven’t had a period in.. a while. If I really wanted to know how long it had been I’d drag my calendar out of my purse, but I’m too damn lazy to do that right now, so you’ll have to trust me – it’s been awhile. I’ve been eating like it’s going out of style, my boobs are swollen and I feel all jiggly and wobbly.
I know it’s normal to have the hormones all whacked out after losing so much weight in such a short amount of time, but despite the fact that Fred has been neutered (hee!), I still got all worried that I might be pregnant, so bought a pregnancy test yesterday (and tried to hide the fact that the entire reason I was in the grocery store was to buy a damn pregnancy test by buying a bunch of shit I didn’t need) and when I got home I took the pregnancy test, and the pregnancy test looked at me and said “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re the least pregnant woman EVER, stop being a freakin’ spaz!”
And I did a little hallelujah dance.
I know I need to go to the gynecologist, it’s been two years
since my last confession since my last visit, and that is BAD. I know it’s bad, you know it’s bad, don’t lecture me.
* * *
Yesterday, after spending two and a half hours making dinners to get us through the rest of the week (last night, pork chops and mashed sweet potatoes! Tonight, ranch chicken, corn and veggies! Tomorrow, Tex-Mex! Thursday, Pancit! Friday, Taco Beef Skillet! Also, I miscalculated and made jambalaya, so I guess we’re all set for next Monday, too!) and another hour and a half packing (got most of the upstairs done, woot!), I ate lunch and then at 2:40 picked up the phone and called Fred at work.
“I’m going upstairs,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“And I’m taking off my pants,” I said.
“Uh huh…”
“And I’m climbing into bed,” I said.
“Oh realllly….”
“And I’m taking a nap, so don’t give me shit!”
He laughed. “I thought this was a booty call!”
“Well, I DO need to be woken up from my nap so I can warm up dinner,” I said.
Did I mention my hormones are all out of whack?
* * *
Okay, I’m off to Smallville to do cleaning and painting. My goal for today is to get the laundry room, kitchen, and hallway cleaned, trim painted, and walls touched up. Keep your fingers crossed that I actually get it all done!
* * *
“Behind you! A serial killer! With a knife! Or maybe there’s nothing there at all! Who knows!”
* * *
Previously
2006: “And they’ll have to call it Wipe the Ass!”
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Want some cats?
2002: I had no idea what to say – “Well, of COURSE you’re only going to date someone you think is cute!”? Then I’m anti-ugly.
2001: Except for that crying at the drop of a hat thing, she’s just fine.
2000: Do y’all ever do that, have moments where the startling realization that you’re a complete dumbass smacks you in the face? ]]>