Sunday
Fred: We could get a lab! Awww, look at this black lab. Isn’t he gorgeous? Oh, except labs are way too friendly…
Me: Yeah, they’d be all “Come on in! Let me show you where the china is!” And we don’t need a dog. WE ARE NOT GETTING A DOG.
Monday
Fred: Rottweilers would be good. You wouldn’t want a rottweiler coming at you, barking and growling, that’s for sure.
Me: Rottweilers are pretty. WE ARE NOT GETTING A DOG.
Tuesday
Fred: I’m reading up on the Belgian Malinois. They’re cool dogs. (Insert a bunch of stuff about the breed I didn’t listen to)
Me: Moto’s a Belgian Malinois. He’s a bit of a spaz. WE ARE NOT GETTING A DOG.
Wednesday
Fred: Maybe we don’t need a big dog. Maybe we just need one to act as kind of a burglar alarm. We could get a minpin! One of those would probably yap and yap and yap if a stranger came to the door.
Me: Minpins are cute. WE ARE NOT GETTING A DOG.
Thursday
Fred: Let’s just go to the pound and look at the dogs. Please, can we, please? Please? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?
Me: GodDAMN, shut UP, okay! We can go look at the dogs BUT WE ARE NOT GETTING A DOG. Do you understand me? NOT. We do not need a dog, I do not want a dog, NO DOG.
Fred: We’ll just look!
Meet Jake.
1/5/07